...wheres my....heart?   
08:41pm 11/03/2004
 
mood: discontent
music: voices echo in my memories
whats going on anymore, who knows, i'm confused?

my steven is not home..i don't know where he is...that concerns me...
 
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Mood Swings..blah   
09:12pm 08/03/2004
 
mood: sad
music: Lead me through the darkness
I feel unloved...randomly but true...I know I'm loved...but its like I can't feel it anymore or something I was hyper and happy earlier and now I'm just not, I can't explain why, I guess it just happens that way..Happeh one moment...ready to slit your wrists the next..I need to talk to steven...but hes not home..I don't want people to know how sad I actually am..the pain I feel...I have every reason to be happy, I just don't know how

These pills are tilted happiness
Yet nothing ever comes
But envious butterlflies
Hell sent from above

I used to be so innocent
However with every foe
Now people jsut turn there head
and walk away as my soul has been bled

Something comes from this pain
And know that this lonliness never ends
With this blade I'll try to take all away from me
But crimson can't help me

She crys out to me in rhymes,
But I'm deaf to her wisdom
Deaf to my self inflicted crimes
 
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*sigh*   
04:45pm 08/03/2004
 
mood: creative
music: Love is giving your entire heart to someone who smites you
damn damn damn damn damn me...I'm turning into a romantic......Steven made this comment:
"I love you"
me:"I love you too"
"do you"
me:"I do"
"You'll be saying that in a couple of years in front of your friends and family"

He was so serious about it, even if he was joking..It still made me go all aw and stuff....damn him for making me care.......The heartless bitch is gone...well half-way anyways
 
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Strange Amneties...   
09:35pm 07/03/2004
  So I had a very interesting weekend, I mean to say extremely, well we will start with friday:

Went to the show at the cliffhanger after we finished my puppet for regionals, which looked awesome, and picked up some hypnotic that stuff is crazy. Then I dance like crazy with Daina and Cassy, we made are selfs look like huge asses but I was drunk...so there is my excuse...Then Henon got the bright idea to pick steven up and start spinning him, So I ended up getting kicked in the face...But I didn't really feel it, however it did hurt like a bitch afterwords...Then I got my ass smacked with a bandana with by joe and palmer...just beautiful, then we went back to my house, got more smashed then before, and I got sick....O and come to find there is this guy who looks almost exactly like steven...it scares me....

Then saturday I went to reginals, and won third place for experimental puppetry, I was the only freshman I think that placed this year, anyhow I had fun hanging out with Danielle and Megan..Later I want back to my house and steven came back up, I was sick but he drank, and then I ended going up to the house and laying down, he layed with me until I fell asleep, I love em to death, even if I am unsure about it sometimes. Then In the morning when he woke up he came in and layed in bed beside me and put his arm around me and just layed there, not making a sound, but kissing my cheek ever so randomly....gods knows I love my steven....it was awesome.....
 
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Strange Amneties...   
09:35pm 07/03/2004
  So I had a very interesting weekend, I mean to say extremely, well we will start with friday:

Went to the show at the cliffhanger after we finished my puppet for regionals, which looked awesome, and picked up some hypnotic that stuff is crazy. Then I dance like crazy with Daina and Cassy, we made are selfs look like huge asses but I was drunk...so there is my excuse...Then Henon got the bright idea to pick steven up and start spinning him, So I ended up getting kicked in the face...But I didn't really feel it, however it did hurt like a bitch afterwords...Then I got my ass smacked with a bandana with by joe and palmer...just beautiful, then we went back to my house, got more smashed then before, and I got sick....O and come to find there is this guy who looks almost exactly like steven...it scares me....

Then saturday I went to reginals, and won third place for experimental puppetry, I was the only freshman I think that placed this year, anyhow I had fun hanging out with Danielle and Megan..Later I want back to my house and steven came back up, I was sick but he drank, and then I ended going up to the house and laying down, he layed with me until I fell asleep, I love em to death, even if I am unsure about it sometimes. Then In the morning when he woke up he came in and layed in bed beside me and put his arm around me and just layed there, not making a sound, but kissing my cheek ever so randomly....gods knows I love my steven....it was awesome.....
 
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cOnfusion....   
11:29pm 04/03/2004
 
mood: crappy
music: Only some wishes are granted..others are just a mirage
I love Steven...right? I don't know...I care for him, but I just can't help thinking that he doesn't care for me like I do for him.....

Out of your friends, who is the...
Loudest?: Jessica.
Quietest?: Sarah
Shyest?: Sarah
Most outgoing?: Sloan.
Funniest?: Jonathan
Most depressing?: Me.
Coolest?: They're all extremely cool.
Sexiest?: Steven
Kyuutest?: Lindsey
Best singer?: Heather
Best author/authoress?: Steph
Best poem writer?: Steph.
One most likely to die before age 25?: probably me.
One most likely to be in jail before the age of 25?: o.o Hennon.
Most gothic?: mmm.. Kim
Most punk?: Henon
Prepiest?: Roni
Laziest?: Jimmy!!!
Hyperest?: Samantha.
Krayzaiest?: Me and Steph
Most outsane?:um....
Most likely to end up in a mental institution?: heh...me and steph are gonna share a room with our special jackets
Most creative?: Calli.
One you're closet too?: Steph and Jess.
Kindest?: Lindsey.
Most caring?: Steph.
One you can count on always?: Steph and Steven.
The oldest?: Heather
The youngest?: Travis
The shortest?: Lindsey, Cassi?
The tallest?: Henon.
The one you love?: Steven.
The strongest physically?: Henon
The strongest emotionally?: Jessica.
The strongest mentally?: ^.^ Jessica
The weakest physically?: mmmm....Sami
The weakest emotionally?: .....
The weakest mentally?: .......
The one who will let you cry on their shoulder?: All of them
The one who needs you to let them cry on your shoulder?: a few of them.
Most easy going?: Steven.
Most religious?: Rebecca
Most beautiful?: Steph
Most intelligent?: Jonathan
Strangest?: Sloan.
Weirdest?: Sarah and Steph
Hottest?: Steven
The one of the opposite sex you care about the most?: Steven in a loving way, and Dye in a brotherly way
The one of the same sex you care about the most?: All of them. I love my girls.
The one you've known the longest?: Steph.
The one who you're fighting with and wish you could make up with?: None, really.
Richest?: Dye
Poorest?: ?.
Sickest?: ?.
Healthiest?: Jessica.
Most athletic?: Jessica
Most likely to be president?: Brennen...heh
Most likely to invent a time machine, go back in time and invent computers?: Johnothan.
Most likely to die a virgin?: Danielle
 
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.....quiz whore.....   
11:02pm 01/03/2004
 
mood: apathetic
music: Dusk till Dawn
warrior
Your a Guradien Angel! Guardien Angels are also
knows as Warrior Angels, because they are the
army of God. Not always meaning that they are
in war, simply that their job is to protect
unwary humans from dark dragons, or other evil
demons. Warrior Angels are not always friendly
with humans, but they will watch over them all
the time. Humans say that when a miracle
happens, thank your guradien angel.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
CWINDOWSDesktopnightmare.jpg
Nightmare Before Christmas!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Schroeder
You are Schroeder!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Earth Goddess
You are the Goddess of Earth. You are very stable
and dependable since the Goddesses rest apon
you. You are very materialistic. Somtime cold
and distant, but that might be because you need
to get what needs to be done, done. But yet you
are everyone elses strength. You are the most
Stable of the Goddesses, since without you the
other Goddesses would not exist.
Other Earth Goddesses: Ceres, Cerridwyn, Demeter,
Gaia, Persephone, Epona, Kore, Mah, Prithivi,
Rhea, Rhiannon


Which of the Four Elemental Goddesses are you?(With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
You belong in the world of darkness and are a part of the despair.
You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known
as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here
is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow.
Write or go through other creative outlets to
express the anguish you may be feeling, and
never let anyone tell you that you are just
being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if
you're a teenager.If not, then they really
should be punished for calling you one. They
probably are trying to insult your
maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself,
dark and amazing. Never change.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."


What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

magic
Your a magical unicorn! As all unicorns go, magic
unicorns are amazing with enchantments and can
perform spells and all kind of crafts. Magic
Unicorns have horns that if drank from can cure
blindness, and give immortality. All magical
unicorns are very kind and heart-warming, but
can get tempermental if a spell goes wrong.
Magical Unicorns live in forests where they can
practise all there magic in secret. But, if a
human befreinds a magical unicorn, they have a
friend for life.


What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
Suicide
Suicide! (and you know it, so... dont u have
something to do?)


Choose your Dramatic Death (Now w/pics!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
If you are near a water dragon when its sad, it will begin to rain...
Your a water Dragon! Congrats! Like ice dragons,
you are extremly powerful, but show it more
often. You are a leader, and like to speak your
opinion. AND, you are charming, swift, and
great at dancing, ou enjoy getting stuck in the
rain, playing with friends, and swimming
anywhere! Wat-ER you wating for?


What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Neo
You are a Khaos angel. You are different from all
the rest. You are a special breed of angel,
prone to suffer in the world that you are in
now. No matter how much you try to believe that
your not special, you are. There is alot that
you want to do in this world. Khaos angels are
very dramatic, we tend to have the ability to
cheer people up no matter what the mood, and
hold in your emotions. You should be proud,
Khaos angels are very rare to find in this
world of ours... (and yes. you are a completely
different type. Hence the name
"Khaos" and not Chaos. quite strange
huh?)


What Different Kind of Angel are you...? ( Anime-ish pics )
brought to you by Quizilla
 
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With Him.......   
10:04pm 01/03/2004
 
mood: blank
music: In the wake of morning....
There is nothing in this world that is capable of making me smile more than he does...
Its weird....He doesn't have to speak..just being in his company is enough to bring me content...I only get to see him on the weekends, but thats better than never......I used to get to see him everyday.......I don't know its strange...I'm happiest when I'm with him...confused when I'm away...I just don't know anymore...and Know I have this big fear of him leaving me...whenever I think about it...my heart stalls...or atleast it feels like I can't breathe....I know I shouldn't be this serious...But I can't help what I feel....But I'm just afraid he'll leave.....
 
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Quiz'z   
03:28pm 28/02/2004
 
mood: crushed
music: .......bleed......
Lightning
Lightning


?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
water2
Sad... You use the darkness to hide yourself from
the world. Something has really hurted you,
which made you turn dark. Darkness makes you
feel save and that is why you stay there.


Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Darkness
You are guided by darkness. Chances are you are
depressed, or you just always see things in a
negative point of view. You sit back and take
everything in. You are the gentle giant. But
one day you will snap. (Rate my test)


What force is your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla
loved
Your the lucky one.. you've either got true love or
will soon enough. Good for you!


Are you destined to be alone?
brought to you by Quizilla
Relationships Lady
Personal Relationships. Whether your friend needs
your support or you isolate yourself off when
you don't want to hurt others, chances are you
always think about how your actions affect
others. People are lucky to have you as a
friend. Unfortunately, you are also easily
manipulated. As long as you are careful to look
after yourself as well as others, you will do
just fine. ^_^ Please rate my test...I'd be
very happy to know what you think of it. ^_^


How do you seek fulfillment in life? (for girls) [with pics I found]
brought to you by Quizilla

 
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Nonimportant Importance   
02:54pm 28/02/2004
 
mood: crushed
music: I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love's suicide
So...I'm a bitch......I left my best friends party yesterday to spend time with my sis, Henon, and Steven. Well truth is there is two sides to the story....From a friends perspective, they probably are really pissed at me right now which I can undersand...But I didn't leave to get drunk...I left because I had this extremely bad feeling...And it was right, one of my friends tweeked out and I was there to help...I have to help people...it is what I was sent here to do..and anymore my best friends don't even call me anymore...they don't need my help so it seems...They used to let me in..but since highschool it feels like there ignoring me....I'm not who I used to be...and I need that badly......But I can't help anymore....
 
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Long time...no speak....   
10:43pm 23/02/2004
 
mood: sick
music: Spoken from the heart...
I don't even want to begin to try to go into details of this weekend...and trust me you probably wouldn't wanna know anyhow..Spent the whole weekend once more with stevo, I love spending time with him...anyhow.....I went to the battle of the bands at focus and chilled with all of my friends, and steven's friends were all like "dude your girlfriends hot" its definatley a big change from last year...AThen this one bitch was trying to flirt with steven...he totally blew her off...cause he ish mine....whahahahahaha
okeh anyways....

I probably woulda killed her if I wasn't on a valume........O well........
 
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Long time...no speak....   
10:43pm 23/02/2004
 
mood: sick
music: Spoken from the heart...
I don't even want to begin to try to go into details of this weekend...and trust me you probably wouldn't wanna know anyhow..Spent the whole weekend once more with stevo, I love spending time with him...anyhow.....I went to the battle of the bands at focus and chilled with all of my friends, and steven's friends were all like "dude your girlfriends hot" its definatley a big change from last year...AThen this one bitch was trying to flirt with steven...he totally blew her off...cause he ish mine....whahahahahaha
okeh anyways....

I probably woulda killed her if I wasn't on a valume........O well........
 
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Amusing...   
01:33am 15/02/2004
 
mood: touched
music: Slit your wrists and blleed for me
I'm at steven's house right now, with david also....interesting spending v-day with your current boyfriend and your ex....heh...its amusing......Although I still do like Heathers outlook on this holiday personally its to sappy for my liking.... Spongebob is on....god..I love this episode, anhoe
Happy Valentines Day
 
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*I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy*   
09:28pm 11/02/2004
 
mood: pessimistic
music: Fucking COmputer...growl
DesireLove
Love. You Truly Desire Love. You long for someone
to hold you and take the pain away. You haven't
been in much relationships or you need to work
on how to handle them. You always seem lost in
a daydream about the person you care about
most.

PLEASE RATE


What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
brought to you by Quizilla

I had more quizzes but my bitch ass computer earased the results....blah....growl....eeeeeee......
I hate technology...
But I love BAGELS!
aND THE CREAMY CREAMY CHEESY CHEESE

 
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Whorrible Wonderful   
07:39pm 09/02/2004
 
mood: devious
music: Wonder into Creativity
Damn the new guy..damn damn damn damn him...he bit my neck.....growl....not like my neck is my hot spot or anything...I SWARE I DIDN'T ENJOY IT!

Did I mention I lie alot? Anyhow I spent the weekend with steven, I love being with him, looking forward to valentines day...I'm sure that'll be a hootananie....heh heh I said hootananie
 
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Xonfusion   
04:31pm 05/02/2004
 
mood: confused
music: Away with Temptation
What is going on....hell if I know....Me steven are going really well...but there is only one thing that could serperate and ruin that...and that would be the new guy...I think I have a crush on him..actually I know that I do. but with steven it just goes so much deeper than a crush..but the new guy..holeh crap is like freaking wow, and to mention the fact hes really nice...What am I too do...
 
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Greatest thing you'll ever learn...   
10:56pm 27/01/2004
 
mood: happy
music: is just to love and be loved in return
Geeze I'm so happy with him, as he is with me, envious eyes can't keep us apart....
I love the movie moulin rouge...its da bestest....
And has memories for me.....

Every moment with your grasp
I wish it wouldn't become the past

Man slap me...

I Had a horrible day....But....Steven.....makes meh happeh :)
 
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Perfection...   
12:14am 26/01/2004
 
mood: loved
music: Too rare to die...
Being with steven makes me happy, hes been here the whole weekend, and is actually in the other room doing dishes with Heno(my sisters boyfriend) A few days ago I was scared because I wasn't sure what I felt fo r him, But I 've loved him all along..All I wanna do is see him smile, to be in his embrace....I'm happy when hes happy...and that is perfection to me...is is my perfection...No matter the flaws, but this isn't like before when I was obsessed because I'm not obsessed...I think I'm just in crazy love......I can't have these feelings for anyone else..and I know because I've tried and O how I've tried.....When it must end tho...because it always does...I'm not quite sure what I'll do...live...I guess
 
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Amused....   
10:01pm 21/01/2004
 
mood: cheerful
music: Confusion hurts my eyes
David just called like an hour ago and asked me back out, and ofcourse I said no because Ilike Steven, but it is still quite amusing....But then David calls me and hes ike hey tell steven to call me..so i'm currently on hold.hmmm..wonder what they could be discussing..Now there both on da phone...ehhh ooo

Au Natural



Your Seduction Stye: "Au Natural"


You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it


That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!


The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism




You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world


Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in


You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?




You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways


Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you


As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.



What Kind of Seducer Are You?

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sensual kiss



You Are a Sensual Kiss!


Wet, soft, sweet, rough…

For you, kissing is all about how it feels

Whether you're kissing a longtime sweetie or a stranger

It's all about the sensual experience, nothing else!



What Type of Kiss Are You?

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love cuffs



You are Leather Love Cuffs!


You're one for handcuffs, as long as you're the one with the key

When it comes to power exchange, you are straight up dominant

You weild the power all on your own- and your cuffs only re-enforce that.

You're so in control that you could cuff and gag the toughest street cop.



What Kind of Handcuffs Are You?

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seductive



Your Bedroom Personality Is Subtle!


You get what you want... somtimes.



What this means:



You're all for getting what you want in bed.

But you rather suggest than tell.

You're all sexual undertones - not overtones.



What your lovers love about you:



You tend to work your lover into a frenzy with teasing and flirting.

You are sweet and complementary, never too demanding.

Sex with you is a low pressure affair.



What your lovers can't stand about you:



You seem sexually moody at times...

And damn hard to please at others.

And you'll hardly ever open up about sex.



What's *Your* Bedroom Personality?

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*~*Woot~*~   
10:19pm 20/01/2004
 
mood: horny
music: Skittles Once More
Dating Steven again...on our aniiverary...of the last time we started going out..around the last time..Tewll me how weird is that!~
 
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