I sorta kinda wish that there was someone out there who would write me a story. A story about a Thanksgiving dinner. I guess I haven't had a story written for me in a long while, but I never stopped writing. If anything, that is one of the few things I didn't give up on. (And in my defense, Orange is complete). The last Christmas dinner I actually enjoyed was seven years ago. After that, it's just been awkward family get-togethers where no matter what I do, the whole feeling just isn't right. Like I walked into the wrong house and ate at the wrong table with the wrong family. For once, just once, I want to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with people I actually love and care about.
I'm talking to JJ and Shiyan now. What started as a conversation about Christmas has been led in a totally different direction. Not happy directions, either. JJ's really mad at alot of things... Things that we as the brady bunch are all linked to and clearly, my suggestion for ONE dinner with them was taken as a kickstart to alot of things he's been wanting to say (and did I mention that they are not happy things?)...
I don't mean to be sour or ungrateful or whiny (though why I'm defending myself on my own blog is beyond me) but this holiday can seriously go either way. On the one hand, the relatives I like are about five thousand miles away, no x'mas tree for the fifth year running, I'm going to a graduation dinner where people at my very table may just be hating my guts out as I eat (while they're probably secretly hoping that I actually am eating my guts), he won't be around that night after it (<--grad night dream no. 1), Thea and Janna can't make be there either (on what is supposed to be one of the most important days of my life <-- grad night dream no. 2), the kids will be older, I'll be penniless, my fingers will probably be hemorrhaging by then, wind up with absolutely NO Christmas dinner whatsoever and... lol...
But on the other hand, maybe it'll be great. Maybe, just maybe, Christmas can finally be good again. Amelia and I will be hanging out alot cos she is VITAL to one of my Christmas presents, there'll be Christmas shopping, the As will finally be over (and thus maybe just maybe I get to spend more time with him again -_-), I can write out my x'mas cards, try and meet up with old friends and get more money from dad...
See? Maybe it won't be that bad. Maybe Christmas will be good this year... Maybe it won't be lonely :)