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ClOsE 2 iNsAnItY

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IT'S OFFICIAL!! [10 Apr 2004|03:47pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Yes, it is official. Dave's parents are moving in 21 days and he will be moving in with me. His mother is going to call NMHS to figure out if Dave can/will be transfering to my skool. There is only about 2 months left of this skool year but I will still be very pleased having Dave attend skool with me.

I called my father this morning and he told me that my mother wasnt very happy about the move happening so suddenly, but screw her! I don't care what she thinks. My father was just like "Dave is going to have to do his fair share around the house" which we both knew.

I am extremely excited about this. His parents are looking at cars right now for him while he's at work. And yes, I'm here at his house again, alone, with his sister, Mallory. I wish I had a car though so I could go out and do something lol instead of sitting around here all day. But there isn't much I can do about that so why rant and rave about it?!


Dave gets outta work at 8:30, then he will be getting home. When Chris gets outta work (9-9:30) he will come get Dave and I most likely with Sydney. Then we are going to T/A, it's a cool truck shop or something like that. We will have fun, because we do when we are all together. Other people to possibly tag along: Dan, Derek, Derek's g/f, and Joe. Yeah! lol...

Last night we had fun. We went to the Walmart Supercenter like I said we were going to. It was fucking huge man! It had a McDonald's inside of it. And there were like 37 fucking registers. I haven't seen so many black people before. With all of us white kids lol, we were definately the minority there. It was crazy!

blahhhhhhhhhhhh I'm fucking bored lol. I'm outta here. I'll update later! Cya fuckers!


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EMO IS FOR PUSSIES AND SELLOUTS! [09 Apr 2004|08:53pm]
Hey people. What's going on?! Ehh, I'm just sitting here at Dave's house while hes at work. Chris and Sydney are coming to get me around 9:45ish then we are going to pick Dave up at work at 10. The plans for the night: Fishkill, NY. To the Super Walmart, or something fun like that. We wanted to go last weekend but it was getting late and there was no time ( it was already like 3 in the morning).

So that should be fun for the night.

Well, it seems to me that Dave moving into my house might happen slightly earlier than planned. His parents have decided that they want to move by the end of this month. Yes by the end of April. That's like 2 months earlier than we had planned. I'm not even sure if my parents are going to be alright with that. If not, he said he will live in his car (yeah the one he doesn't have yet!) at the bottom of my driveway. I will not let it be like that. My parents better realize that they have to let him come. Though, if the awnser is no, and it stays no, well then he's going to have to try to stay with Chris for a little while. I mean he will be definately living with me, there's just no telling when. I already told my father that they want to move by the end of the month, but he hasn't told my mother yet. And that is gonna be the hard part. She already doesn't want Dave to move in, not because she doesn't like him but mainly because she doesn't want another person living with us. And I think secretly the real reason is because she doesn't want to see Terrance have to go. But you know my father and I have been waiting for the day that piece of shit leaves the house. He doesn't deserve to be with us anyways. He's nothing but trouble for the family. If I was in my father's shoes, I would have forbid the idea of another grown man living in my house. But my father is a nice, nice man. Sometimes he shouldn't be. My dad really likes Dave and I'm glad about that. It's important to me that my Dad likes Dave because my Dad will be giving Dave permission to marry me one day. I know there are some people out there -not mentioning names- that don't believe me and Dave are going to be serious and get married, but you know what...Fuck what you think because I know it's gonna happen, I know what me and Dave have is real. Yeah we fight but who doesn't.

Yeah I don't really know where that came from but it's right.

I just can't wait to have Dave living with me, whenever it may be. He is the most important thing to me, and having him around all the time is the best thing that could ever happen to me. He is my therapy. Things will be better for us when he's moved in and all. He will have a car, I'll be getting a job. We will be able to do what we want with our free time, because he will have a car. So when we wanna leave and it's possible, it'll happen. Things will be much better.

Yeah, speaking of a job, I really need one. I'm such a fucking bum-bitch. Seriously, man! Why am I such a loser?! I think I'm like the only 17 year old going on 18, that doesn't have a job and never has had one. Fuck! I'm an idiot! (no comment on that one!)

As you know, I'm in Driver's Ed. I had my first driving lesson last Saturday (April 3rd). I did quite well. I was really proud of myself. I have much more confidence now that I actually went out and did it. Compared to before I did. I went and drove in some residental areas, then Mr. Remsen felt that I was ready for the real deal so I drove down Route 67 and into/through town and back to SMS. I was real proud of myself. Haha. I have another lesson next Saturday. Can't wait, I hope I do as well as I did the first time.

Well, I believe this is all for now. I'll update some other time. Have fun!! Yeahhhhhhh!

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Update...what's that?! [27 Mar 2004|04:34pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Well, hello there. It's been exactly a month since I have updated this shit. I totally forgot about it, then around the time I remembered my computer got all messed up and I wasn't able to use the internet or anything, which really sucked! But it's getting better, and my Dad just ordered a brand new one: Black, Flat Screen with a lotta extras, exciting. So I thought I'd tell ya whats been going on for the past month. NOT A WHOLE LOT!! Umm...There is a lotta stupid gay ass drama shit going on in our little group of friends. All having to do with feelings. Sydney likes Phil, Phil likes Jess, Jess likes Chris, Chris likes Sydney. Louie and Rachel like each other, but Rachel is in love with John. And then there is Dave and I. We are our own drama. The guys were fighting with Phil because he "ditched us" to hang with Jess and Rachel. And crap like that. It was blown way outta proportion, but I do believe it is dieing down now. Dave and I got into a horrible fight last night, and almost broke up for real. We do have a lotta shit to work out, but I think we will be alright. I don't really wanna talk about that right now though. He is getting a car on Monday. An 87 Honda Accord, which is Gold but sometime down the line he is planning on having it painted black when he has the money and time for it. I'm happy hes getting a car finally. We deserve it. And he promises things will be better once he gets it. He's really stressed out right now and I understand that. We are gonna try real hard to make this work, because we really do love each other A LOT! I have approximately 2 1/2 months of skool left. And I'm starting to get nervous. I mean hell yeah, I'm glad I'm graduating because I wanna get outta that hell hole, but now I have to like really mature and do shit on my own. That is fucking scary! I have to go out and get a job, I mean yes I should have already had one but I'm a lazy beotch! I'm going to start looking soon, I need one before I graduate. I wish I was really prepared for this crap.

That's some of the shit that's been happening lately.

But I have to go now, I'll try to update more often! Byebye!

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Fun everywhere I go...can you sense the sarcasm?! [27 Feb 2004|08:16pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Well hello there. It's been a while since I updated, as my friend Ashley so nicely told me. So I thought I would tell you about my week. Well last weekend, my sister picked me up on Friday and I spent the weekend there. Just hung out with her, Aaron, Anna, Carl, Bryce, Lindsey, and Paul. We had quite a good time. I think I might be going again next weekend. Then I came home Sunday afternoon. Going back to skool on Monday wasn't fun AT ALL. I was so tired from the weekend that I was really out of it the entire day. Though, Dave picked me up from skool because I hadn't seen him all weekend, and we missed each other dearly. So I hung out with him and then he brought me home that night. I did nothing interesting on Tuesday, went to skool then home. Wednesday I went to skool then Dave came to my house after skool, we hung out watched movies, and tv and just hung out. Then Thursday, I didn't go to skool because I had a doctors appointment at 9:30 am. And my dad decided there was no point in me going to skool afterwards. I had to do a bunch of different positions for Dr. Tarbell to hear my heartbeat...laying on my back, on my side, sitting up, standing, squating..all this weird shit. She said she could only hear my heart murmur in certain positions I'm in. She told me I have to go to the hospital and get a ECHO done. That is next Thursday after skool. They are going to be doing a bunch of tests for my heart. Then after that I have to go back to the doctors. Fun eh?! Then I also had my Chorus Concert that night. Dave came with me. I thought we did horrible, but then Mr. Keck said we did very well today. So I guess thats cool. Then today I just went to skool. Me and Sydney were planning on hanging out but I was just so damn tired. So I came home went online for a minute and talked to Dave for a minute then he went off to work and I went to take a nap. I woke up around 5:30. Then Dan called me and was like hey! what have you been up too and he decided to stop by. That was weird. We just talked about random stuff...and how boring our lives can be. Matt called him when he was here on his cell phone, so I said hi to Matt and that was it. Lol.

See so my life just isn't too interesting unless your a part of the everydayness of it. Like Dave and Sydney. lol people I talk to like everyday...................yeah!

I got into Driver's Education. I saw the list and I only know one person who is in my class, and he is a fucking sophomore. That is so fucking scary. I think I'm gonna be like the oldest one in there. But that can be fun, because I can be the "bully" of the class lol. lol. I just hope I don't suck. lol. Monday is the first class. Ack!

I think I'm going to Ozzfest with Dave and the guys...Chris Phil..etc..Which will be really fucking cool. It's like July 10th or something like that. Dave hopefully will have a car by then. Well he has too actually. But that will be a fucking awesome time. Tickets go on sale tomorrow. I'm going to be paying Dave back though. Because I don't need him to buy it for me. I feel bad. He needs money badly. lol.

Well, I'm outta here. I'll update some other time. Maybe soon. Cya later buddies!

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What a wonderful weekend!!! [17 Feb 2004|07:48pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

I had absolutely the best weekend ever! I spent it with Dave of course. Well, I got outta skool at 11 in the morning on Thursday for no reason at all. Dave and Travis came to pick me up and we went back to Dave's house and just hung out. Then that night, Dave's dad brought me and Travis home. Then there was no skool on Friday (Thank the lord) so I just umm did nothing? I really don't remember what I did then. Dave worked so yeah. Then Saturday I woke up at like 9ish and got ready to go out driving with my dad. When my dad finally got home around like 12ish we drove up to Sarah Nobel and I got a feel for the car and everything. We decided that we will do a little bit of that every weekend...for the exception of this weekend coming up because I'm going to my sisters. I guess I did alright. I got really impatient with myself like usual, and almost cried because I was so pissed off at my stupidity. lol. But other than that, I did okay. Not bad for a first time. Then after that we went to Hallmark to get a gift bag to put Dave's Valentines shit in. Then we headed to Daves. I got there and Dave dragged me to his room. He surprised me with a CLEAN ROOM!! The night before he had told me he was going to get off the phone to play video games and do something online which upset me a little because I wanted to talk to him, but the only reason he lied was to surprise me with his clean room. lol. Because I am like a neat freak and I'm always bitching about how dirty his room always is. He even VACUUMED. I was soo happy, I was proud of him for doing that, I never thought he would do it without being forced or something. And he also told me he was going out in the morning with his parents because he wanted to get outta the house but really he was going out to get me this really huge heart shaped balloon with little hearts all over it and it said "I love you" on both sides with a cute little teddy bear attached. He also got me one of those gigantic cards and it was soo much like us and it was cute and he wrote a lot inside of it. It almost brought me to tears. I was sooo happy. AND SURPRISED!! And on Friday he bought me a Carmen Electra 2004 calender (hehe..) but I dont think I will be putting that up in my room well not anywhere that my parents might see because my mom would be like "Uhh Shannon, what the hell?!" haha. But yeah for the rest of the day Dave and I just hung with each other and we had a great Valentine's Day. Then I slept over that night. On Sunday, his Aunt and Uncle and stinky Grandparents came over, to celebrate his mom's birthday which was Friday. So we stayed in his room for most of the day, until like around 4ish then we finally came down and got dinner and then I called Phil and we made plans to hang out with him, Chris and Joe. We just went out for the night and drove around and repped a little. Dave got a really bad headache towards the end of the night (poor baybe-sadness-), so around like 12ish I asked Chris to bring us back to Daves. I slept over again. We went to bed soon after we got home. The only medicine I could find for Dave was Children Tylenol but he took some and went to bed. The next morning he was alright. He woke me up really early like always...and we took showers then came to my house and hung around and watched "Underworld", which I definately recommend! It was a really cool movie. Then it was time to bring Dave home. He was really sad and basically cried in my bed, which made me cry. It was really hard leaving him, because we get so attached to each other. This weekend is going to be really fucking hard for both of us. I hope he finds something fun to do to take his mind off missing me. I hate it when hes sad its the worst thing in the world. I also gave him some of my pants I bought at Hot Topic a while ago, that don't fit me anymore and I wore them like once. He looks really good in them. Yum! Haha...So my weekend was really good, maybe not that interesting to others but I loved it. Oh and we didn't fight once. We got into a little tiff at my house on Monday but nothing too bad. I apologized and things were fine after that. Dave has been a very good boy lol. I'm proud of him working on his anger problems and shit. We both have our anger problems though so yeah haha.

I got a Spring Driver's Ed application today. Hopefully I will get accepted to be in it. Because I really need that. My dad signed the paper and everything so I guess I will be returning it tomorrow. We don't have to pay the 350.00 til March 1st which is the first class, so thats good.

I am so damn excited about Dave moving in with me. It's coming sooner than I thought. I mean when you say 4 months it seems like a long time. But I guess it's really not. I will be graduating soon too. Fun shit. I cant believe I'm actually graduating, it doesn't seem real. I'm proud. Hehe... I guess tomorrow is senior skip day. But I'm going anyways, who the fuck cares. Dave is picking me up at the end of the day. It's not going to be too bad. Hehe..I miss him so much I can't wait to see him. I feel like I haven't seen him in weeks but I just say him yesterday. Lol. I'm such a loser. I'm gonna go now. Cya later! BUUUUhhhhhBYeeeeee!

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I love him. [13 Feb 2004|05:02pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Court TV shit ]

Heylo people. What's goin on?! Uhh, nothing really here at the house of the crazy ones. I just went out with my mom to Kmart and Hallmark. Hallmark was pretty busy, everyone doing last minute Valentine's Day shopping, like me. Haha. I bought Dave some nice things.

Tomorrow, I'm going out driving with my father in the morning, then he is bringing me to Dave's. My mom told me last night that she was gonna try to get me a doctor appointment because I have a heart murmur now and they wanna be able to make sure everything is fine. But I highly doubt they will be able to get me an appt. this late for tomorrow. So yeah my plans for tomorrow is to go to Daves and just hang out there the 2 of us, and I'm sleeping over. And I think I am sleeping over Sunday night too. Yippee. I love being with Dave. Hes the greatest when we are together. Mwuah to my Davey-poo!! It doesn't feel like tomorrow is Valentine's Day. But I'm glad it is. I love having a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Especially Dave because hes great. And Dave is gonna be the one guy I'm with for the next 100 Valentine's Day. Or well...til I die because I doubt I'm going to live to be 117 years old lol.

I am so fucking bored right now. I'm just sitting here drinking some coke. LoL. I have no damn life, besides Dave haha. It's pretty sad. But he is my boyfriend and my best friend so what do you really expect right?! Alright I'm gonna get outta here. Because I dont wanna bore you guys to death. I love you but I love Dave more. CYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYA!

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Shittles: Taste the Asshole [11 Feb 2004|09:48pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Type O Negative-We were electrocute ]

FUCK THIS SHIT. MAN I FUCKING HAD THIS LONG FUCKING ENTRY ALL TYPED OUT AND SHIT THEN IT DECIDES TO DELETE ITSELF. Fucking damnit. So this is just going to be a short summary of what I had...

Tomorrow I'm leaving skool at Eleven. Dave and Travis are picking me up. For what reason you ask? No reason at all, because my boyfriend misses me. Haha. My parents said it was cool and they are writing me and early dismissal pass. I left at 1 today because I had a gyno. appt. That was fun. Not. She gave me something so my period would come back because I haven't had it since October of last year and now I have it, and I feel like shit. But other than that, it was an ok experience. She was nice. Her name is Dr. Weiner. Of course its not pernouced like WEINER lol. Umm...what else...skool is like really easy for me right now. Due to the 2nd semester changes. Not that much homework and classwork isnt a big load. I'm done stressing out like I was the 1st semester and it feels good. Also, my sister and Anna came over this weekend with my sisters new puppy he is a pitbull hes about 9 months old. His name is...Puppy. Original dont ya think?! He is fucking cute as hell I hugged him a lot. Hes not mean like most would think. My sister also decided to invite me to her apartment for next weekend (20th-22nd) because I havent been there in like forever. And I miss the fun we had. But Shannon is going to be a good little girl, to make Dave proud. Haha...alright that is my summary. It was so much better originally but it just really fucking pissed me off with the deleting thing. So yeah...

Catch ya on the flip side yo! Haha just kidding. Cya later...Goodnight

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What the hell is wrong with me?! [30 Jan 2004|08:25pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | The Devil on my shoulder telling me to KILL KILL KILL! ]

Damnit. I've been really fucking jewish about updating this shit. Well, yes the Linkin Park concert with Sydney was real fucking awesome. But I still wish my love was with us. A lotta shit has happened since then, but I'm to lazy and its to boring to tell you about it all. Some serious fights have occured between Dave and myself, but everything is cool right now. Meghan is a dumb cunt whore, who deserves to burn in hell, and one day she will. And shes going to wish she wasn't such a fucking idiot during her lifetime. I just don't like liars, and Meghan is the head mistress of all dirty fucked up lies. She's trying to ruin my life, and I'm trying my hardest not to let it get to me, because she's not worth it. She's a stupid pathetic tramp and one day she will realize that. Another piece of shit person I don't like is Terrance. He is black, that's all I have to say. He lies about people hitting my mother's car so I get into trouble. Fucking piece of SHIT!

So I went to guidence during a study hall today. I got my credits from Summer Skool finally. Which is great. Then I was talking about college and all that jazz. Mr. Nathan, my guidence counselor asked me what I was planning on doing after skool, and I told him that I'm planning on staying home for about a year and saving up money then deciding what I'm gonna do. Because money is an issue. And you know what he said to that..."I don't think that is a good idea!!" So he began to ask me questions about what I would like to do with my life...and I said I'd either like to do something with Social Work or Office Administration....So he gave me a bunch of shit on Gibbs College. Something I wasn't really wanting to get into. I hate this whole college crap. It's not for me. I don't wanna live and go to college, I want to be a young person all my life and not have to worry about going to college and growing up. I'm just not ready for it. Then he continued by asking me if I have talked to my parents about college yet and I said no, I told him that I was sorta avoiding the situation I suppose. Then he was like well if you were to ask them what they think you are going to do with my life what would they say...? And I told him they would prolly expect me to end up like my sister, struggling for my life and living off the kindness of strangers. Not what they would like but that's what they are expecting. So he told me he was going to call them on the phone and ask them what they thought. How fucking embarassing. I hate him so much. He's such an ass. Is there really anything wrong with just wanting to be a teenager for the rest of my life, I don't like the fact that I have to deal with stupid people like Meghan. But I don't wanna grow up and live on my own and have to live for myself. That's to hard. I don't have the correct mindset to live for myself. I'm too fucked up of a person to be able to do that. All my life I have had people along the ride helping me every minute of it. I will still need that, and yes I know, I will have Dave by my side but still.

Ugh. Enough of that. I cannot wait until June or July...I can't remember exactly. But that is when Dave will be moving in with me. Yes! Moving in! As long as fucking blacky(terrance) is gone. Which he better be. Because Dave's parents are leaving and he wont have anywheres to go. So he's coming with me. Things will be much better then. Our main problem is we miss each other so much so we react in wierd ways and get angry to easily. So if we see each other often we wont be like that. Hehe! I cannot wait!

I'm going to go now. I'll update some other time. Good day sir!!

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Ehh..more cold weather?! [16 Jan 2004|12:11pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | crappy commercial shit ]

Well hello! It's friday and it's another 'snow day' because of the really cold weather. Every skool in Connecticut was like closed today except for a few like Brookfield for example. Which really really pissed off Dave, but he talked his mom into letting him stay home for the day. It really scares me to hear me say this but I actually wanted to go to skool today, because I really wanna get my midterms over with and get my new schedule of classes. But I guess now Midterms will be pushed back 2 days. Whooohaaa lol. So Dave works at 3 today til 10, and I'm hanging out with Sydney going to the mall and such, then we are picking up Dave at Stew's at 10 to hang out. I think we are going back to Sydneys house and watching a movie or some shit like that. Not bad. Then the Linkin Park concert is tomorrow night. Yay! I'm excited about that, but I really wish my Davey could come with me, but I know there will be another Linkin Park concert him and I will attend together. And it wont be so bad for him because he will be with Chris and the rest of the crew, they are going bowling then Chris is sleeping over Daves house. Then Dave, Chris, Sydney and I are hanging out on Sunday. Then I think I'm sleeping over Daves Sunday night. Lol. Fun packed weekend ehh?

I've realized today, I'm such a little kid still. And I am terrified of growing up. I really don't wanna grow up. I just wanna stay 17 for the rest of my life and not have to do anything! Or worry about taking care of myself. It really sucks.

I NEED A GODDAMN JOB. SERIOUSLY! What is wrong with me? I wish I had the ability to stay focused and do stuff. I'm just so damn lazy. Ugh I hate it. I'm expecting everyone to cater to my every need BUT I know its definately not gonna work like that. I'm such a sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttt! lol...Dave and Sydney know what thats all about haha. Alright I'm outta here. Talk to you guys lata! Cya! Byebye!!

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hehehe... [10 Jan 2004|07:13pm]
You represent... desire.
You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

I just thought I should put this in here because I enjoy that picture very much...mwuahahahha!
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-throws confetti-...thats my favorite line [10 Jan 2004|04:46pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | Adema-Unstable ]

Heylo everyone! What's going on?! I'm just hanging around my house waiting for the clock to strike 7:30 because thats when I'm leaving to go to Daves house. He doesn't get outta work until 8:30 but I'm gonna arrive to his house early to clean his room and all that fun crap. Then when he gets home I will be in his room waiting for him. I feel like its been a long time since I seen his gorgeous smiling face but its only been 3 days. But in our minds, 3 days is too long of a time. Hehe. I love him so fucking much. Today is our 4 months, but you know what it seems way way WAY much longer than that. I feel like I've known him for my entire life. Which is definately a good thing. He was told yesterday at work that he wont be working on Thursday anymore for a while because business is slow, which means we can see each other more often I guess. Yay! And I guess it has its ups and downs like seeing me and shit, but also he wont be making as much money. But Dave thought up this great quote : "Money is just a possession, it comes and goes, but love is forever." Yeah, Dave made that up and it really made me smile. It's the good times like this that make this relationship so damn wonderful. I love us. We are such a cute couple, I mean yes we are corny as hell. But who cares it makes things fun!

I was talking to Christopher in skool yesterday and he told me that he was going to be going to night skool instead of Bridgestreet. Which still saddens me because I mean I am pretty sure that means we are gonna lose touch of each other. And I mean thats gonna be hard because hes been one of my good friends for a really really long time, even if we dont talk all the time, you know?! Skool was the only way we really got to talk and like discuss shit. But now hes leaving that. What a bummer. He also told me that something has been up with Garrett like no one likes him anymore, that hes changed a lot. It's prolly the whole I'm in high skool now so I'm better than everyone phase or some shit like that. I knew that was gonna happen with him. Hes not friends with Christian anymore, and I guess he treated his girlfriend really bad so they broke up and shit. Oh well. Theres nothing I can do about it right?!

I guess Mid-Terms are coming up real soon. Which I'm glad about because I wanna get this semester over with and begin with my new classes. I just am praying I do good on the Civics final because I need to get a good grade because that class is required to graduate and I'm not looking forward to retaking that class next semester. So I guess I'm gonna stay after next week and study with Mr. Holmes. Oh geez, I hate studing I can't remember the last time I did that. Haha. Skool is really stressful. But there isnt much of it left. Thank the lord.

I also need to get a fucking job. I need to stop being a lazy ass bitch and look around for places that are hiring. Dave wants me to realize how much working sucks. lol. I guess I just dont want to have to grow up. Ya know..? Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Well, I'm gonna go. I'll update some other time. Talk to you later. Cyyyyyya!! Oh and I love Dave.

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Cheesecake is yummy. [02 Jan 2004|07:05pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Well, it is now 2004. Exciting huh?! A lotta different things are going to be happening this year. Dave said to me on Jan. 1st, "Today feels like the first day to our new life". Which is really true. It's a brand new year and tons of things are going to change. I'm graduating, which is a really big step in my life. I need a job, I need to gain some goddamn responsiblity. So I can get a job and keep it, and get money. I need to learn to fucking grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around me! I mean I know that, but sometimes I act like it does. Anyways, so New Years was good. I hung out with Dave and Sydney. Then Dave slept over, we didn't do anything too extreme, but I was just happy to have Dave sleep at my house for the night. We have been spending a lot of time together due to the vacation, and its really gonna suck having to get back to the normal schedule of seeing each other only 2 times a week. Oh god! Going back to skool really is gonna be horrible, I am NOT excited about that one bit.
It's funny how I've been spending so much time with Dave and I haven't really gotten bored of him, I mean I USUALLY don't like hanging out with the same person ALL THE TIME, but with Dave, it's different. Which is definately a good thing lol. I really miss him a lot right now. And I just say him earlier today, call me pathetic, I guess it sorta is. But that's what happens when your in love. There's only one thing that really bothers me about our relationship...he doesn't trust me with other guys. He claims he doesn't trust the guys, but I think it's me. Hes so damn worried about loosing me, he doesn't want me hanging out with any other guys without him around. And that sorta frustrates me. I mean I know he gets worried that I'm gonna leave him for someone else, which is normal I guess. But he needs to know that I love him and no other guy can replace him, ever. Even if we were to get into a horrible fight, I wouldn't have to think twice about leaving him. I would stay with him forever. I mean come on, we've been through so much FUCKING BULLSHIT together, you think I would throw it all away due to a stupid fight, hell no! I wanna be able to go out with my friends and not have to worry about him being sad and thinking I'm out fucking around. I'm a tough girl and I can say no if any guy trys anything. I'm not a fucking idiot, you know?! That's the only one thing that I just can't stand, not just with him, but if Dan or any of my exboyfriends questioned the trust, it would bother me. Now that I have successfully bitched about it, I'm done with that lol. Oh and I'm not bringing any of that up because I'm upset or mad or anything, I was just being random with the entire thing. But I'm gonna go now, I'll talk to you later! Bye bye now!

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wooo hooo!!! [27 Dec 2003|12:51pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | nothing at all ]

Hey EVERYONE! Whats up? Not much here, this years Christmas has got to be one of the best ones I've ever had. I got a lotta cool shit from my family and Dave, and my sister and Aaron came over, then Dave showed up. We did all the presents and just hung out, then I slept over Dave's house that night. I had the greatest Christmas ever. Thanks to Dave. I love that kid! lol. We didn't really fight much, and that made the night even better. So all together Christmas day was GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!

On Sunday, I'm going to the mall with Sydney and Daryle around 12ish, then we are picking Dave up at work at 4:30. Then we are just going to be hanging out. Sydney's Christmas Party starts at 7pm until 11pm I think. Its going to be a good time, and then I will be able to meet the famous Aaron shes always talking about. He better be there. Or hes dog shit! lol.

I'm not planning on doing anything today. Maybe straighten out my room and finish reading "God-Shaped Hole", so I can give it back to Sydney on Sunday. Todays gonna be a hang out with myself sort of day lol...

Alright, I'm gonna go now because I really dont have anything else to interesting to talk about. Cya lattttttttttters!

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Where has all the time gone? [23 Dec 2003|10:35pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Christmas Carols on TV ]

Well, I've been a real CUNT about writing in here. My apologies once again. In 1 hour and 35 minutes, it will be Christmas Eve! Yay! Sydney and I are going to the mall once again tomorrow for our last minute shopping. Have I ever told you how much I love her?! She is the best! Other than Dave, of course. But yeah, shes like the coolest girl around here. I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be a good one. I love this time of year, but I'm sure you already knew that. The only bad thing about it, is that we have no real, big Christmas Tree. I mean we have a little fake on in the living room and I have my little one in my room, but it's just not the same you know? But other than that, it's going well. And I have Dave to enjoy it with. Which makes me extremely happy! My sister will be coming over around 12ish on Christmas with Aaron. Which is around the same time Dave will be arriving to.

Today was the last day of skool until January 5th. That is such a relief. It makes me so happy knowing that I can sleep in and enjoy myself without worrying about waking up early in the morning. I have started to read "God-Shaped Hole", for those of you who don't know, it was highly recommended to me by Sydney and Sara. And I am glad I listened to them, it is a remarkable book and I can't seem to put it down. Which is very rare for me. LoL. I usually hate reading, but give me a book that has to do with love or tragedy or depression and I wont be able to put it down. Sorta sad isnt it? oh well. I must be going...I will update later, if I remember. Cya later!

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Sorry I've been neglective... [18 Dec 2003|03:08pm]
[ mood | Anxious for Christmas ]

Well, hello there. Yeah, so I've been neglecting this damn journal a lot lately. MY APOLOGIES! I just haven't been in the mood to write lately. Christmas is in 1 WEEK exactly! Yay! I love Christmas. And not even because I get presents, because of the atmosphere and shit you know? The things that come along with Christmas time. And having a boyfriend for Christmas, is the greatest! This skool year is almost half way over. THANK THE LORD. I had to do this debate in skool today, we didn't win, but we did a good job as a team, trying to defend our side. Oh well. We were up against like the smartest kids in the class, so I wasn't expecting victory on our side. Me and Dave are doing well. Fights now and then, but hey, we are still together. And to this day, I still won't ever want to replace him. He is my pride and joy. LOL! I burnt and am still burning my tounge on these damn mash potatoes, but they are sooo unbelieveably good! Yum! This Chinese kid started a fight with Tom in Civics today, it was great! Really funny! I have been stressing about my skool work a lot lately. I have like 3 projects due before the vacation. And we only have like 3 days left. Oh gee! Oh well... But I'm bored and I bet you are to, so I'm gonna go. Good Day!

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WoW! It's been a while! [13 Dec 2003|01:17pm]
[ music | nothing ]

I haven't written in here in a while. Well, nothing interesting has really happened lately. Except the fact that me and Dave have gotten in 2 really bad fights in the past fews days. It was horrible. I hate fighting with him. Its definately not fun at all. Alright Christmas is in 12 days. That is really soon. It really upsets me that my family has like NO christmas cheer at all. Christmas has got to be one of my favorite holidays besides Halloween of course. And we have no lights or a Christmas tree or anything. It's really depressing. I mean this time of year gets me in such a good mood and everything, and the fact that its not here, makes me sad! I feel like it's in the middle of the summer or something, besides the weather obviously. I'm going to ask my dad if I can put Christmas lights up in my room or something, and I wanted to get a little Christmas tree to put in my room, but I dont see that happening..I'm gonna go because I dont have much to say, and I dont wanna you to be bored reading this boring entry. GOOD DAY!

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Let it snow!! [05 Dec 2003|09:03pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | -*Staind*- ]

Hey! It's snowing like a mofo outside right now. Hehe yay! I cannot wait to sleep over Dave's tomorrow night. It's gonna be such a great weekend for the two of us. Tons of time together, which nothing but happiness! Yes, that's how it will be. I can't wait to see him. Omg, I'm so damn excited...
So I was talking online today, and Phil was talking to me, and hes like "You must be doing something right because I've never seen Dave love someone as much he does with you," and I was like, "You just made my day!" I was so happy he said that. Someone actually realized the love we have for each other. I mean I bet others do, like Sydney and people, and I mean I KNOW Sydney knows but one of his guy friends did, and that is really cool. It made me happy.

Things are pretty hard right now. And I don't mean in me and Dave's relationship, things are fine there. But like other things, they suck. It is yet another thing I can't/dont wanna discuss in here. But my close friends know what I'm talking about. I have one question though. Why does everything that can possibly go wrong with a person, happen to me?! Honestly, I have so many problems. I don't understand why Dave thinks I'm like perfect because I've got so many imperfections, its not even funny.

But. Boy, do I love him. Dave is such a wonderful person. And I really don't care what others think of him because I know him better than half the people in the world, and he is a great person. So many people don't see him the way I do. Barely anyone does. He is so great. In my eyes, he is PERFECT. I mean I know he isn't no one is. But he is so close to being perfect, its scary.

galaxyofemotions: im in such a cheerful mood its scary....
galaxyofemotions: lol
foxracing0441: yes
foxracing0441: lol

It's funny when I get these random bursts of like hyper/happiness. I'm just like ahhhhh lol *bursts with excitement* haha! I'm so weird sometimes, but thats alright. It's the weather I swear!!

I think I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to all you motherfuckers later! Bye for now!

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Dave is my Immortal [04 Dec 2003|03:47pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | Ludicris- Stand up! DONT FUCKING ASK LOL ]

Hey. I saw the video for "My Immortal", by Evanescence. It's a good video, Amy Lee is soo damn pretty. I envy her sooo much. The song is good too. For all of you, that don't know it is...
"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

I like it a lot. I mean it has a lotta meaning behind it. I'm really starting to like Evanescence. Dave says Amy sorta looks like me, I don't see it though. The song is sorta sad, but I really really like it...

Anyways, so today was an alright day. I'm really excited for the weekend, 1. It's suppose to snow A LOT and 2. I'm sleeping over Daves on Saturday. I'm going to his house like around 7ish in the morning to eat breakfast than we are going to Danbury High Skool for the SAT's. Then hes going to work and I'm going home. Then I'm going back over to his house when he gets outta work, and I'm sleeping over. I'm so excited. I can't believe my parents said Yes, because like I definately thought my parents would like FORBID it to ever happen. Yay!

Ohhh! I went to guidence today to talk to Mr. Nathan about credits and shit. They have been telling me for like months that I have 16.77 credits. And I wasnt sure if that was including my summer skool courses. And I doesnt, their missing 2 classes. Which means they have to research and find the files, and that means I really have 18.77 credits! Yay! So I'm definately gonna graduate on time! Yay for Shannon! I'm so glad about that...I went to go pick up my Senior Pass today, and I have 3 books I have to bring back to skool before I can get it. Damn, I hope I can find them! I better man! Haha...alrighty I'm gonna go now..

Talk to you later, Good Day!

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Why the fuck does it have to be like this?! [02 Dec 2003|03:34pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | my sniffing ]

Sorry, I haven't written in a few days. I sorta forgot to. Well things have been good, well they were good up until like an hour ago....

Yesterday was good. Me and Dave hung out after skool, his mom came and go me at skool, then we went to the bank to get money for Dave and then she dropped us off at the Mall. Sydney and Daryle were going to be there around 3ish. Dave and I looked around a little while then decided to seperate to do our Christmas shopping for each other..which went well. He spent like 220 bucks in like 45 minutes. WORLD RECORD. lol. We went into Spencers when we were together and saw Sydney and Daryle in there. That's when it became the 4 of us walking around together. It was a good time at the Mall. Then we left at about 5ish. We went back to his house, watched TV, rapped presents and shit like that. It was a good night...

Grandma's still in the hospital. My parents saw her on Sunday, said she look really good. That's good news.

Today..well considering we get out early all this week, that's a plus. Which makes me happy. It was a fine day, have plenty of skool work to do...It was a day which was going pretty well. Until..Dave decides to hang out with Travis. I mean I don't mind if he hangs out with Trav theres nothing wrong with that, but it is a probably when it means Meghans gonna be around. Nope, I don't trust her. I'm sorry. There's not much I can do about it. Yes Trav will be around so nothing will happen. And thats not even the problem. I'm not the least bit worried of him doing something. I just don't wanna hear Meghan's shit. She will make up stupid fucking shit. And it will piss me off. And I don't wanna deal with that. I hate it. And the fact that Dave sees nothing wrong with it. That's what bothers me. It really hurts my feelings. It just does.....And I put up a fight for him not to go, but he still wanted to. And I don't think its that he wanted to hang out with Meghan, I know he wanted to hang out with Travis but still...It just hurts you know...

I'm gonna go before I like cry or something. Cya later.

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ugh... [29 Nov 2003|03:29pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | nothing... ]

Well, today has been a eventful day so far. I woke up at like 9:30 to Dave calling me before his family went to get there Christmas Tree. Everything was fine, besides the fact that I'm really sick. Then I got off the phone and did my morning rituals(go pee and stuff) lol...Then I hear my Dad come storming down stairs and go into my Mom's room and is like "SHEILA, WAKE UP SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH YOUR MOTHER!!" And they both jumped up and ran upstairs. I was just like what the fuck, and went back into my room. Then everything was alright I guess. Then like an hour and a half later, my Mom is upstairs and my Dad is outside and I hear my mom scream "SHANNON, GET YOUR FATHER!" So I was like Oh god, and I got my Dad and sent him upstairs, I guess my Grandma fell down the stairs, and she kept seizuring. So my Dad called 911 and got an ambulance here. They were here for like 25 minutes. Then they left with my Grandma and my parents. They just got home now, and it's 3:30. They were gone for like 4 hours. They are keeping my Grandma at the hospital for a few days, and they think she had a stroke. I have been in like shock for most of the morning now. Like dazed and confused. I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I'm definately not ready to be going to a funeral or anything. I'm not mentally stable enough for this shit. Ya know...honestly. I feel sick to my stomach, and I have butterflies in my stomach, the kind that make you wanna puke. Lol. Not good butterflies, like the ones I get when I kiss Dave. Bad ones.

Besides that I am doing fine. Nothing is wrong. I miss Dave because I havent talked to him since when he called early this morning, he started work at about 1 I think. And I didn't get a chance to talk to him before he had to go into work. So that saddens me, I've been online all morning waiting for him to get on his break, I hope he does soon. I miss my boy. Alright I'm outta here. I'll update later. Bye.

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