[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Wednesday, November 12th, 2003|
WHOA I havnt updated this in forever... but uh, I've got a LJ now, i'll se if I can dig it up.
|Friday, August 22nd, 2003|
|The Good The bad and The Meh
Well The Past weeks been alright, nothing special. I've been doing alot of Work, housework, and yardwork. got stuf inthe foot twice, but its not that bad. I really miss my friend Gavin, Miss hanging out for a few hours just throwing football, but some good news is he'll get to come for christmas, and thats really cool, just got an email from him today so thats cool too. I also got my Game Informers magazine today, very good.But Still I'm not in my great moods, I watched Riding in cars with boys today (dunno why) and it sturred up some emotions. and i been thking of quitting smoking adn drinking, since my mother did that and it ruined the family herself and me...so Maybe I should stop before I ruin peoples lives...thats all i really feel like saying right now... Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: Hurt - Johnny Cash
|Sunday, August 10th, 2003|
|Hard as Rock and twice as cold
Well This is Like my 5th day of not feeling well. stomach ache, headache, and just all around not feeling good. I'll meantion it just in case someone see's me nodding off, or something like that, but I make it seem like a passing cold.. but I really hurt, not to mention a cut on my leg, that dosent exactly feel the best... I only got a couple hours sleep (tops) and I feel like freezing myself in a block of ice because its so damn hot, and dont turn on the air conditioning so we can cut back on bills. On top of everything I like this one girl... its odd... but another one of my friends liked her, he had a feeling I liked herm but he asked her out, she said yes and she liked him... After hes talkin and I tell him I liked her, but dont sweat it because he's more suited for her.. blah blah blah.. Just shit so he wouldnt feel bad. I do like her... but I'm not gonna be an asshole like a couple of teh friends I had, and move in on her. they're happy, and Since I dont matter I guess that means me bein happy isnt either, but oh well, Like I say Shit happens... I'll just stick this back inside me like I do with everything, put on my smile and be nice like I always am.I think I'm just gonna be what they'd call a Lone cowboy, Just travel from town to town, living, never attached to anyone, Never bothing anyone Just a wondering soul, a leaf floating in the wind. That or just buy myself a boat and Set sail.. anywhere I could be just run, and get far away from this place I hate... the memories... I know you cant run forever, but I'd only need a lifetime. I'd really like to settle down, have a family and kids, Wouldnt mind being a desk jocky to come home to a wife, help make dinner.. it'd be nice, But Theres no way I can open myself that much... so Its gonna be Road Rebel Alex, or Sea Captain Alex... not Mr. & Mrs. Alex. The even remotely close thing to that I would have is if I were to get to move in with Jes and Ben, Ben's a cool guy, reminds me of who's I'd like to be when I'm older in a ways heh, and jes.. well she's just totally cool, I love her(like my big sistor), and I'm glad she found a guy she can be happy with. But He, with my luck It'll never happen. I know I should be in a good mood since Sarah should be back today... but I'm not. Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry poppin' Daddys
|Tuesday, August 5th, 2003|
|After a long long time
well I've not updated most of summer no time. I've been hanging with my friend Gavin, and stephen the most. Just hanging out at hte mall, renting video games, movies, going to hte movies, swimming, playing football just a bunch of diffrent stuff. Got to meet Gavins cousin, natalie, whoa She's nice, good looking, but not too girly, though shes a bit clean and tidy (everything int eh right spot) but other then that shes totally great. Possiably date.. maybe? dunno. Then On the tenth Sarah, should be coming back, Who's a 19 yr old modle who lives down teh street, but goes out of state for shoots and what not. SO when she gets back i'll try and hang out with her, and I'll hit on her, though What'd you expect? As a whole this summers been great, i've done a whole lot of stuff, but latly I've been going back to my normal self, well really coming back outta my illusions and fun back to reality. I found out my father was adopted, so all of my heritage I thought was mine isn't mine, and it explains why he always says he'd never give me up. Money's still tight, really the past year and a half we've been on edge... not knowning if we were gonna be able to pay the next bill. Now we dont know if we'll even be here another 30 days. This may be one of my last entries. All the people I know here all the memories, everything left behind, though i dont really mind it all that much, since I planed on moving away as soon as I can. Just everything, I dealed with, and no one knows a thing. All my friends.. my closest friends, even my friends I call family dont know about some of my problems...well any of them. I shrug everything off, I laugh and joke and do all of this stuff, to keep people from knowing somehting wrong, I dont want sympathy, i dont want pitty, and I dont want help, I just want...well, I dont want to burdon people with my problems. I Like to keep myself locked up, and never let anyone see me, I'm probably repeating things I've already said before, but someitmes i just have to keep saying them, just keep getting it out . I love people, my closets friends, I never say anything, Just makes it harder when I might have to go. thats another reason I dont wanna get close.. not that i might get hurt, but because of things like this, and I might have to leave them and if I really do bond then its just much worse on myself when I have to go. I'm just gonna stop rambling Current Mood: drainedCurrent Music: Other World
|Tuesday, May 20th, 2003|
had another good weekend, Hung out with my friend all day saturday, went to a movie, I dont even remember what it was cz we joked around through the whole thing (pretty sure it was X2) then spent the rest of the day Playin games, watchin movies, adn just walking around, BUT while i was gone hangin out , My sister and neice came over, adn my neice destroyed a couple of my cd's.
Sunday we went ot the book store, looked at some WWII books, and looked for a few new Taoism books. Then we were off to teh CD Store, I was gonna get a new CD But i bought Master Of Puppets again to replace the one my neice destroyed... rest fo the day was hangin out with friends Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: Sumpin' New - Coolio
|Tuesday, May 13th, 2003|
|Yard work Sucks!
Well today consisted of.. yard work... yard work.. OH and yard work. Cutting the grass, Getting the wedwacker out, Watering the flowers, Laying down mulch and even having to plant a few things.. all i can say is Yard Work Blows Dogs For Quarters. Though i did get some sun and freah air so it wasn't all bad. Plus i even wrote a hiku.
I love to love
I hate to hate
I hate to love to Masturbait Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: All Along the Watch Tower - Jimi Hendrix
|Wednesday, May 7th, 2003|
Ahh nice weekend, relaxing outside, drawing and listing to music a choice weekend! then monday and tuesday and today, nothing really happened at all excapt me goin to blockbuster and renting Medal Of Honor Frontline. strangl Se7en was check out AGAIN! but no matter when i take it back i'll try lookin again, and if its sitll gone i'll have em reserve it for me! Current Mood: cheerfulCurrent Music: Time - Pink Floyd
|Saturday, May 3rd, 2003|
|Good past few days
AHH even though i was really depressed a few days ago, i been REALLY happy. I've been losing weight! YAY, Diets adn excersize may suck and be hard but it works! and i've had fun today with the derby, none of hte horses i picked did well but i still had fun, and didn't make any bets so i'm not in the hole! and thats winning for me! no now i'm just relax for the weekend, and takin a break from my usual hangin out to relax at home! And Maybe work on some of my sketchings a bit. Current Mood: artisticCurrent Music: Low Rider - War
|Wednesday, April 30th, 2003|
*sigh* Ou Power got cut off yesterday. I learned my father has been having trouble paying the bills and was a litlte late on the electric bill so everything was shut off till just a few minutes ago. I also found out We might get evicted anytime since my fathers behind on the house payments about 21,000 big ones!I can feel it. My Life's Crumbling apart. We might lose our house, I know my fathers getting old and doesn't have too much longer left. My sisters are having troubles of their own. I've got nothing left in this world... I almost wish i had drown in that pool when i was 2. But my friends are still by my side so i guess even if my life crumbles apart i can try to stick em back togeather bit by bit. though i'm still extremly depressed. Current Mood: crappyCurrent Music: Nothing else Matters - Metallica
|Tuesday, April 29th, 2003|
Well today wasn't really bad but i'm in one of my Depression slumps now for no reason... Damn i think i'm growin a Vagina and PMSin cuz i go through this at least once a month *sigh* Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: Of a Broken Heart - Zwan
|Sunday, April 27th, 2003|
Oh, what a GREAT weekend. I spent all concious hours hanging with my Best friend in the universe since before we were one, Stephen. Saturday, We went To see House Of 1000 Corpses... good movie i'd recomend it, Rob Zombie did a good job *thumbs up*. normall when seeing movies like that we'll take steaks and take a bit outta it when someones eaten by a zombie or moster, but we were out so beef jerky had to Sub for it (and did a nice job). Then We went to Blockbuster. We were gonna rent Se7en, but it was already out (Curse who ever rented it before me!) But since we were still a little freaked out by the movie we decided to get jacka*s the movie... the freakin funniest thing in the world. everyone should see it.. The Sand Vagina is CLASSIC! we also rented Starwars Bounty hunter... basically just because he's a SUPER starwars fan and i didn't see any harm in it so we got it also. So we went home, then went on a cool walk up to this little supermarket and got 3 six bottle packs of Ale-8-one. (a Local Ginger ale drink, and its superb!) so since he was roller blading and i was walking. i was forced to carry them. but me it was only a couple miles.so we get home and watch the movie. Then spend the rest of the day outside. He roller bladed, and i skateboarded (though i can really only balance myself on it) while listening to seom music. After that we spent the night playin the game and watching some Tv, just hangin out.
Now Today, we got up early and spent the morning playnig more games. Then at around 12:45 We went out to the fairgrounds, and spent the day checkin out the Old Flea Market... sure its full of rednecks with john deer hats but theres some prety cool stuff. we left at around 2:30 and went to Ear X-tacy where we spent the next few hours hanging out there, listening to music and lookin at posters and whatnot. I ended up gettin Zwan's Mary Star of the Sea. a kicka*s album that if anyone reading this dosent have... i command you to get it now.... NOW!( if you still reading this you better have it *shakes fist*)so after that we spent the rest of te day relaxing outside with our Ale-8-one, and listening ot music till he had to go. so all in all a good weekend, though i spent like 40 bux lol Current Mood: cheerfulCurrent Music: Endless Summer - Zwan
|Friday, April 25th, 2003|
ah today was pretty good day. Go to go to the book store, but didn't buy anyhting yet. Saw some cool Taoism Meditation sones, but didn't quite have enough. i did get to call my friend today though only for ....3 seconds. i was gonna call back but a jerkoff stole the pone before i could get another change. I took my dog to teh groomers and she looks FRIGGIN hilarious all shaved! then after that i came home pretty much spend the rest of the day ont he computer. Current Mood: sleepyCurrent Music: none
|Thursday, April 24th, 2003|
well this truly has been quite a day... a friends having some emotion troubles in her relations ships, i just wish i could be more help to here... though i am having some interesting relationship things myself. Today I got asked out.. 2nd girl in the past 3 or 4 days. I said no but honestly i'm not even sure why, i mean she's cool and fun to hangout with.. i guess its just that chemisty's not there *sigh*
anyway while outside today and looking at all the little helicopter seeds... i came up wit a good little analogy of life (well it is to me)
Some People in life are like the seeds in apples.. dont fall far form the tree they root themselves deep and grow.. while others like me get caught in the wind and drift far far away.. getting to see things the other never dreams of.. but dies before he can finally land and root... Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: Dream on - Aerosmith
|DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!
OH DAMN IT I"M PISSED OFF!!! Turns out the traffics to bad so i'm not gonna get to go anywhere.... grrrrr what a fuckin PISSER!! Current Mood: angryCurrent Music: The Struggle Within - Metallica
|up an At 'em!
Well Today's started out a good day except i woke up at 8 Am... which is bad when i go to sleep at 4. but its a beautiful day out and i'll probably hang out with friends today.... oops nevermind i'm gonna be spending most of the day at the book store and Cd store, and get to call jes today so tripple SCORE! Current Mood: excitedCurrent Music: Paradice City - Guns N' Roses
|Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003|
Turns out to be a ok day
Well Today Stared out pretty crappy, but it turned out ot be cool. Went over My Best Friend Stephens house with some other buddys, Watched some hocky ( Even though i missed half of it cuz they were all horseing around) and just talkin doin our normal sh*t. Though since i was feeling lazy for dinner I had some Baked Beans ( And since i'm a bachleri eat it outta the can.. ITS LAW!) but 2/3rds of hte way through it... i realize i hate baked beans.. meh oh well
|Bad start to a day!
Grr, what a piss poor day so far. away till 7 Am again.. wake up at 9 am. Cut myself shaving, thanks alot to my friggin loud mouth dog. Plus my diets GOTTA be shot to hell. But Cadbury eggs are so damn good... CURSE EASTER! and on top of that its still raining grr.. oh well the rest of the days GOTTA get better... Current Mood: discontentCurrent Music: Parallel Universe - Red Hot Chili peppers
|Monday, April 21st, 2003|
What a day!
Oy, What a day/night... Its been raining for a long time now.. even hailing. Was up REALLY late, Couldn't sleep , and noody i knew was up or anyhting so i spent the early morning 1-6 Playing WC3... and maybe a little tequila. and so far todays just been a boring day...
and My Saying of Today is : " Tequila, Have You Hugged your Toilet Today?"
Current Mood: Odd
Current Music: Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd