GLOBAL_HEAD<= A Jet Black New Year's Journal
[Insert random but meaningful title here]   
07:19pm 03/02/2004
 
mood: nostalgic
music: My Chemical Romance - Drowing Lessons
These battered walls and shattered windows,
will both scream a story at charcoaled epiphanies.
A melodic serenade to remind the inanamiate,
of their origin and their descent.
Let me whisper lyrics to this awkward song,
in hopes of a breaking the awkward silence.
-In hopes of separating love from aspersion.
Let's swim backward through tears and apologies,
and run against the ocean currents-
-I challenge these vitriolic days to a battle of wits,
and stare them in the face,
grasping nostalgia in my fist.
-Days of petulance; days where the past gets no revival.
The broken angels haunt daydreams,
and twist my wishes inside out.
-I wish things were how they were.
-They sprinkle my hopes,
over charred fields of snow like pixie dust,
and pull my halo down over my eyes.
A smile is only a fused group of tears,
turned inside out.
-All there needs to be,
is an ear to listen to me breathe.
-Overdosing on oxygen,
and drawing faint stick figures like times from youth.
-Laying on circular portraits of angels,
that once stole me from doubt.
-Rescued me from question and the shallows.
The paint of the oval portraits,
now runs like streams over a flame,
as they inhale sulfur and feel a spark.
...Tell me why hope is so empty...

{stel tsuj ekam ti eht yaw ti desu ot eb}		  
     

(2 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...Artist's Rendering of Me   
10:36am 01/02/2004
 
mood: nostalgic
music: A Static Lullaby - Charred Fields of Snow
With all my said unsaids,
Never swallow the idea of a happy ending.
Another day's memory dies, as I'm MADE to smile.
These lifeless days have left me empty,
and another wounded memory dies.
I could never swallow the lifeless,
false ideals of a happy ending.
How could words slit wrists and how can doors,
close present-day heart-felt moments?
...Killed by a slap to the hand...
Another wounded memory dies.
Poisonous screams with messages,
not thought of when released.
...Another day HERE without you...
Another wounded memory dies.		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
..."Above Me" - Rufio   
07:05pm 31/01/2004
 
mood: nostalgic
If I were to walk till time saw no end.
If I were to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.
As perfect as you.

You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Yet you're so above me.
I'll take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and I cannot fly.
To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.

To look at the mountains vast and great.
Is one step above in seeing your face.
To look at the stars for they lead the way.
To the angel above.

If I were to walk till time saw no end.
If I were to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.
As perfect as you.

You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Yet you're so above me.
I'll take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and I cannot fly.
To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
..."Above Me" - Rufio   
07:05pm 31/01/2004
 
mood: nostalgic
If I were to walk till time saw no end.
If I were to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.
As perfect as you.

You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Yet you're so above me.
I'll take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and I cannot fly.
To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.

To look at the mountains vast and great.
Is one step above in seeing your face.
To look at the stars for they lead the way.
To the angel above.

If I were to walk till time saw no end.
If I were to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.
As perfect as you.

You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Yet you're so above me.
I'll take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and I cannot fly.
To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
..."Above Me" - Rufio   
07:05pm 31/01/2004
 
mood: nostalgic
If I were to walk till time saw no end.
If I were to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.
As perfect as you.

You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Yet you're so above me.
I'll take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and I cannot fly.
To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.

To look at the mountains vast and great.
Is one step above in seeing your face.
To look at the stars for they lead the way.
To the angel above.

If I were to walk till time saw no end.
If I were to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.
As perfect as you.

You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Yet you're so above me.
I'll take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and I cannot fly.
To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
...The Not-So-Happy Entry with a Storybook Happy Ending   
09:25am 31/01/2004
 
mood: indifferent
music: Cross My Heart - The Hypnotist
well, its 9:25 in the morning, and i really dont have that much to be happy about. i was having some really crazy dreams all nite, undoubtedly due to the fact that i went to bed with all kinds of shit on my mind. yesterday as i was walking through the mall with paul i received a phone call that was from my house, and when i picked up there was a hang-up. i called back, and no one answered. so i had no idea what was going on, so i called me mom. she informed me that my grandfather had been rushed to the hospital again, due to severe pain and the incapability to walk. the way im looking at this is that there is nothing i can do about it, because he's been sick for a long time. if there was in fact something i could do for him, it would surely be done though.

i got up today and received glares from my parents because i left a pen in my pocket last nite and it exploded in the drier, and got ink all over their clothes...yes guys, i did it AGAIN. this is the second time this happend and they aren't happy...

last nite was the Grace Avenue show, and i took a walk to go check it out. after hearing a few songs i took off. pretty decent turnout though for a house show. lots of people. basically the entire goth/metal/"punk rock" population of the school.

yesterday while at the mall, my covert (hey, that's a vocab. word) operation took place. i picked up some stuff that i needed to get, which was good, because it made me feel like the day wasn't a total waste. but then again, sometimes when we feel like the day is waste it really isn't. its probably not even possible for a day to be a waste, because no matter what good or bad occurrences take place, something is always learned. to bad for me it takes these lessons lots of time to sink in...

...The blue skies today remind me of a smile that I haven't seen in what seems like forever...		  
     

(1 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...The Opposite of December   
11:53am 28/01/2004
 
mood: contemplative
music: Thrice - The Beltsville Crucible
happy fucking snow day...

last nite i ended up studying for my english final for 3 hours, and then a few more hours after that...and what do i get? i get a fucking snow day, and end up not having to take the test. oh well...tomorrow i'll take the stupid test. i just got inside from shovelling outside for 2 hours, because i didnt want to see my mother have to do it. she got the day off from work, and she deserves a break, so i offered to do it. after taking care of our house and the cars, i went down the street and shoveled for gramps and cleaned off his cars as well. my cold is going away pretty fast, which is good. im gradually beginning to be able to breathe again, and thank god i didnt get that horrible cough that i usually get. i cant wait for the winter to end, and for SPRING to come. spring means warmer weather, no sickness, sun, no sun, and most importantly: VANS TRIPLE CROWN! so yesterday was rather interesting. i auditioned for some TV show with Lenny, Nichelle, and Adam. they ask you all kinds of personal questions relating to your friendships, relationships, and other stuff like that. they no doubt ask these questions so they can exploit your love life in hopes of getting more viewers, because it seems that EVERYONE in this world is addicted to drama, almost as addicted as they are to the PROM...haha. and no...i am not PROM CRAZY...lol. i just realized that i never wrote about the gong show. me and LMH busted out the "Party Boy" from Jackass. people are still telling me how hilarious we were. it was a lot fun. ive been listening to Thrice all day. The Illusion of Safety is by far my favorite cd at the moment. to describe the album in a single word, i would have to use the word Spectacular. every single song on the cd is amazing, the lyrics are poetic, deep, and well thought out, and the instrumentation is mind-blowing. this is why Thrice is one of my favorite bands, because they NEVER cease to disappoint me. they are one of the few bands, besides Thursday, that i can listen to a say "It feels like this guy knows me," because his songs can describe my life. so yesterday i took my math final, and i got an 82...weird huh? thats one of the highest grades ive gotten this half in that class. sucks rite? and its not even like i wasn't trying, its actually the total opposite. ive been working my ass off, and unfortunately it was with no avail...but oh well. friday nite was supposed to be the Supersitions of the Sky show, but due to snow, it doesnt look like i'll be going. =( oh well, no big deal rite? instead im gonna fundraise for the washington dc trip with steph at the basketball game, and saturday im in high hopes for getting over to Garden State Plaza, because there's some stuff i gotta pick up.

this is sure to be another boredom-filled, snow-covered, pissed off, no good, depressing, Raab filled, skating free =(, lenny filled, frost-covered, cold-weather filled, poetry-filled, guitar-filled, Superstitions of the Sky-free, mall-filled, money-spending, Syl free =( , guitar-filled, asshole-filled, Raab's stupidity-filled, retard-filled, CVS bastard smart ass employee-filled, Torrid Dominatrix nasty bitch-filled, and everything else that sucks-filled weekend.		  
     

(2 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...All kinds of random shit   
04:31pm 26/01/2004
 
mood: content
music: The Bled - You Know Who's Seatbelt
:: sigh :: i did nothing in school today. everyone is in a frenzy over their finals, which is sort of upsetting. i dunno guys..just dont get too crazy over it. its only a test. anyway, today i delivered my community presentation with Brian and Jason, and the teacher didnt really say much, but what can you do? she was upset because we didnt know our community's acreage, so me and brian made it up, and said it was 2 x 3 miles...lol.
she later seemed somewhat impressed either at the overall presentation or our uncanny lying skills. today in bio i walked in with 39 more cans for extra credit...haha. i ended up laying my head down for the entire class, falling into and out of short periods of sleep, and listening to people droning over DNA configuration. i thought i'd be learning about animals...not this stuff. among other things, i have a cold, which thankfully isnt too bad. my right nostril is stuffy, but the left one isn't...yea, i know im a weirdo...lol. i also now have a date for el promo thanks to a certain person named Syl =) . tomorrow is the math final that i am actually feeling slightly confident about...i think i mite actually do well. but who knows rite? we'll see. so yea... i dunno guys. i came home today after waiting for my ride for AN HOUR, and found my package on my front steps! yes! Bad Blood Clothing Co. finally sent me my super-awesome hoodie! anyone wants to buy some shit, go to http://www.freewebs.com/bbskateboarding.		  
     

(2 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...Random   
04:18pm 23/01/2004
 
mood: blah
today was pretty crazy. me, jason, and brian hung out in the library with the Enviro. class, and drew up our "community" for our final. it was hilarious. we had some in depth conversations on music and stuff. MTV came in, and the usual swarms of people wanting to pretend to be Adam's friends came over in hopes of being on that disgusting excuse for a TV network. so when the camerman came, that my excuse to take off, because i dont want to be associated with shit like that, and being labeled as a person who only talks to adam because of his new show. i dunno...maybe im being bitchy...but most likely not. enough said there.

anyway...a certain math teacher exploded on me today because i said i was doing poorly in her class. i dunno, she seemed to be listening in on my conversation and went nuts, and accused me of "not being honest with myself" and "not taking enough time for her work." she continued to wave her fists and yell until i kindly asked her to lower her voice, and told her that i was not going to argue with her.

..more later...im not done.		  
     

(1 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...(Insert Appropriate Title Here)   
08:16pm 22/01/2004
 
mood: cheerful
music: A Static Lullaby - Lipgloss and Letdown
...hey guys. loooong time since an entry that was actually an entry, and not song lyrics...so here it goes...

everyone is so prom crazy around school its not even funny. i dont get it. they're probably more excited about getting loaded after than they are about the actualy prom. be smart guys, and watch yourselves. alcohol can NEVER be a substitute for happiness, nor will it make your problems go away. you can have fun other ways.
that's all im going to say about the whole alcohol thing...

anyway...a week from tomorrow is the Superstitions of the Sky show, which is going to be amazing. if you dont know, they're members from This Day Forward and Hot Cross. thats rite, i said this day forward. i managed to catch their last NJ show back in december, and now im gonna check out the side project.

Also, ive been informed that im going to DC with some of you, and im looking forward to it. it should be pretty cool.

i know it was a really short entry, but Headbanger's Ball comes on in a few, and we all know that I gotta see Poison the Well and Atreyu on there...haha.

...peace out spaaffey's...		  
     

(1 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...Look For Some Blue Skies   
03:06pm 18/01/2004
 
mood: contemplative
music: Poison the Well - Artist's Rendering of me
In this blackout inertia will hold our thoughts
And the exit sign offers no light to see by
Can we cast our shadows alone in the dark?
I can't see without you

When the world comes crashing down
Part with it
Start again
When the world comes crashing down
These notes will fold themselves
Standing at the margin's edge to see where the daybreak ends
You can find compassion here
But the page turns too fast

We fell in this hole that opened up
Giving up on hope
Living without love
And we still type black lines
When the world comes crashing down
These notes will fold themselves

Adjust the aperture to focus on the negative
Like phosphors in the darkroom ignite
Like dodging faces in the corner of the print
Frame by frame this hole is opening and we fall in

There is no such thing as whole
There is a hole in the world
______________________________________________________________

you know...sometimes it feels like things have never started, while others feel like they will never end. "we all sing the songs of separation, and watch our lives bleed out through our hands."		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
   
10:10am 15/01/2004
 
mood: crappy
music: Snapcase - Coagulate
In this room I'm sitting by your side.
It rains for hours and the phone is off its hook.
Standing on the edge, casting lots to set me up before everything knocks me down,
off the summer's edge and drown me.
We're betting on our own lives, making up for all the time we lost.
In this house of cards we're all holding hearts and spades
(one breath, one step could knock it all down)
but you lead with your eyes and you give it away
(decide, design to cut from the clouds).
When the people you love get lost in the shuffle,
(when you leave, you leave nothing but broken heart)
you let it go and then you fold.
So we stay on the open road.
We drive for hours and still no end in sight at all.
Driving in your car, miss the stop sign, fall in love, just to get knocked out.
It is these days that you have to pull your punches and burn with your cigarettes.
...Forever...		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
...How Long is the Night - Thursday   
09:40pm 14/01/2004
 
mood: cold
music: Thursday - A Hole In The World
If we run far away do you think it will ever die?
We'll throw these books in the fire
Can you stop the train?
Cause it some delay?
The change machine lied
And it's too late to scream

How long is the night?
It's never over
The ribbon was tied
But the card was never read
The ribbon was crimson
The color of the night

Can you see the handwriting on the walls
And on the autumn leaves that fall?
"What are we gonna do?"
The trees are giving up on us
The needle and the thread
Won't stitch us to the branch
And the night never ends

I will never sleep again
(I will never even close my eyes)

If the sun is on its way
Then what we have will never die
And we'll follow these tracks to the sight
Now the lungs collapse
And the air is getting thin
All breath expired
Is it too late to heal?

How long is the night?

It's all I ever see anymore
But the day was so bright in the pictures
In the photo album that you gave me
It's all I have to live for

I'm falling down
I'm falling down
And you're there to break my fall
I shut my eyes when you're not around
I hold my breath to kill the sound
I'm falling down
I'm falling down
And now you're not here to catch my fall
I shut my eyes when you're around
I hold my breath to kill the sound
I'm falling down
I'm falling down
And you're not here to catch my fall		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
...Tell Me Why This Still Hurts...   
09:07pm 14/01/2004
 
mood: blah
music: Atreyu - Ain't Love Grand?
i've been sitting here just to think about,
how it drives me crazy just to see you smile.
-How it makes me feel alive,
when your hand is in mine.
I once had a habit of saying no to hope,
but now i seek it.
I sit here to look at our picture,
and I can get lost in it.
-My own smile often reflects back at me.
i now know, that time never lends itself to love,
because i miss you terribly.
and all i would like, is the will to get out of bed.
the hours pass by like minutes when i'm with you,
now, the minutes pass by like hours in the rain.
i wish i could just stand in the sun forever.
i've learned so much in so little time...
the sun can be shining, and I just won't see it.
realizations of the blackening suburb, and the pain it brings,
but yet i remain, because you're here with me.
...i would rather get away from here, and watch the ocean waves all day long...
and see the sun shine on your smile.
now, i just sit here to stencil my name in the sand,
and watch the water run over it.
its the present that has proven best to overwhelm me.
with my head up, i can see the dunes in the distance,
the mirrored-surface of the water,
and i know that we're almost there.
-and the breeze will take us in with open arms.
the tops of trees are on fire,
and tonight these torches will give us light to see by.		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
...what a day   
05:03pm 13/01/2004
 
mood: crappy
music: The Foo Fighters - Times Like These
To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that you make
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know what’s going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here


Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
...Check This Out   
05:58pm 12/01/2004
 
music: Sublime - No Woman No Cry (cover)
hey guys. i know none of you are reading this, and if you are, you probably don't care. but if you're bored, check out some of these sites. Me and the guys would appreciate it:

Immortal Skateboarding - http://www.immortalskateboarding.2ya.com (skate team)

Bad Blood Clothing Co. - http://www.freewebs.com/bbskateboarding (owned by Dale Backus)

SkaterDudeMan Productions - http://www.freewebs.com/skaterdudeman (owned be Leo Hanlon)

UnderGround Network - http://www.prr.2ya.com (owned by Leo Hanlon)		  
     

( In A Crash )
 
...A Rather Profound Entry   
05:56pm 10/01/2004
 
mood: contemplative
music: Blink182 - anthem prt II
this is going to be another one of my heartfelt entries, even though I doubt that anyone reads this thing anymore. as i sit around with lots and lots of time to think, i'm looking back not only on 2003, but on most of my life. as i proceed to do this, i realize what i used to be, and compare it to what i have become. after spending several years as children, we don't have the discipline or the consideration to look upon what we have and to appreciate it. at that young of an age, appreciation really isn't a factor in life, simply because there hasn't been enough life experience. as we grow older, our once childish personalities shift into a new one, and depending on the person, this can either be good or bad. in most cases, i've noticed, the changes are for the worse. most people i've noticed, seem to live their lives like they're a race. a constant fast-paced sprint through life. how can this give you an opportunity to enjoy life? the answer is simple...it can't. while these people rush through their lives, others decide to risk their lives on a regular basis. whether it be dabbling in alcohol, drugs, etc. etc. sooner or later, everyone will have a bad experience with any of the above, because the fun (or what seems like fun) will not last forever. all it takes is a small oversight, and its all over. a life can be thrown away FASTER than the blink of an eye. so, my question to these people: "why?" why ruin your life, possibly risk losing it, possibly risk losing a friend, for something as senseless as these things? what does it get you? you feel goofy for a few hours, but guess what guys: your problems are still gonna be there when you come down. i'm sure half of you; maybe even all of you are reading this and saying "this kid's an idiot. what does he know?" well guys, all i know is that 2003 was possibly the greatest and most imformative year of my life. 2003 helped me to realize all of the wonderful things, wonderful people, great friends, loved ones, and people that care about me that i have in my life. it also helped to realize how much i truly care about some of the other people in my life. i have agreed with myself that not another thing in my life will be taken for granted, because i have now realized how quickly you can lose or risk losing what, or even who is important to you. i now take all the time i need to appreciate my life, and those who are in it. remember guys, life is a gift, not a right. so why ruin it? just have fun, be yourself, and appreciate all that you have.		  
     

(3 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...the question thing that i stole from annette and syl   
03:55pm 10/01/2004
 
mood: content
music: Bad Religion - the new america
The Rules:

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.


1. My outlook on life was once negative, but i now live it to the fullest. appreciate every moment kids.
2. i like to daydream, especially in school.
3. I think Hot Topic kinda sucks, especially that bitch that works there.
4. I miss someone at the moment.
5. I'm eating burritos.
6. i have two dogs, Andy and Tucker.
7. I find this very true.. nobody dies a vigin: life screws us all

8. when i print, my handwriting is nice.
9. my favorite color is black...well its really a shade.
10. i don't hate. i dislike. hate is a very strong word.
11. i love california rolls
12. i love skateboarding and music.
13. I want to drive to California.
14. I haven't seen the sun set in ages.
15. I dislike lonliness and boredom.
16. i dislike the smell of Raab's gas.
17. I like chewing like a cow on purpose.
18. is syl's favorite number.
19. there are several people that i could have gotten to know better, and i regret not doing it.
20. once everything settles down, something comes along to tear it up again.
21. i never feel sorry for myself.
22. I have spoken with Steve Caballero.
23. Stress sucks.
24. i always wear a t-shirt and jeans..i guess i'm simple.
25. I'm glad i remembered how to smile.

26. I write a lot of music. havent written any poetry in a while. it depresses me.
27. I like my group of friends just the way it is, but there is always room for others.
28. i'm a hopeless romantic (Bouncing Souls...haha)
29. i want to take a road trip to Cali. after senior year.

30. i play drums and guitar.

31. My school is full of hypociritcal and stereotypical assholes who like to judge and pry into the business of others.
32. i'm a band geek.
33. my room is sort of messy.
34. If i could go back in time, some things would definitely be changed.
35. I have a very approachable personality.

36. I love nothing more than to laugh and have fun.
37. The world is a scary place.
38. I wanna get to triple crown on may 29th.
39. I don't mind walking, just not in the cold.
40. I Taco Bell.
41. i like comedies.
42. I live in a suburban area, and dont mind it.
43. Jim Carey is hilarious.
44. I have too many good things in my life to live it the way others do.
45. I've never had a one-night stand.
46. I love laughing with others.

47. I fell for my best friend.
48. i love driving, even though its a permit..haha
49. I have an obsession with Spongebob.
50. I love Arizona Ginseng Iced Tea
51. I like Chai Tea
52. whole foods and whip lash kick ass.
53. I'm easily disgusted by those at school.
54. my mom knows my friends too well (Raab and Lenny)
55. I love peach ice cream from Applegate Farms.

56. I love the skatepark and the beach.
57. I love the spring.
58. People shouldn't make you do things against your own beliefs.
59. what color are my eyes kids? blue or grey?
60. I have people on my buddylist.
61. there is one person who i can say whatever i want to, and they wouldnt care, because they love me anyway.
62. Judging people by looks is shallow.
63. I love going anywhere as long as i am among friends or loved ones.
64. I believe that Vallely Skateboards should still be in business.
65. I'd rather be anything but upset.
66. I don't give that many shits about Britney Spears, X-Tina or whatever the fuck it is,or Micheal Jackson (sicko)
67. I spend a lot of time thinking. it makes me my own worst enemy.
68. I am tired.
69. i have never had sex on a table
70. I feel bad for anyone who has ever felt lost.
71. While I do enjoy cuddling, I love making out as well.
72. i hate doing my hair.
73. i am constantly wearing Vanilla Mint Chapstick
75. I hate being cold.
76. I am slightly good a spanish.
77. I know a lot of song lyrics that mean something particular to me.
78. i know that certain things shouldn’t be taken for granted.
79. be your own person.
80. I love helping other people.
81. i have several posters on my wall (skating, bands, etc.)
82. I do not have a job.
83. mistakes can always be corrected, sometimes with time.
84. i always eat breakfast
85. I never watched/gave a shit about Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (what the fuck is that?)
86. I no longer wear Dickies pants. i only have the shorts.
87. I hate talking bad about people but i can't help it.
88. I don't get much junk e-mail.
89. My wallet has no pictures in it.
90. i keep in mind that you should never let things pass you by in life.
91. I love getting phone calls from people who want to talk to me for a long time about everything.
92. i have no siblings.
93. i love late night talks.
94. I still miss someone at the moment.
95. I reminisce to myself a lot. I am in a constant state of nostalgia.
96. i now appreciate everything in life. life is a gift kids, not a right.

97. I feel like i have known a certain person in my life..forever.
98. I have learned that life is too precious to live it like everyone else does.
99. There's some stuff I wish I couldn't remember.

100. I seriously don’t know what I would do with out that someone in my life.		  
     

(2 Understand | In A Crash )
 
The List   
02:42pm 01/01/2004
 
mood: Don't Even Know
hello all. i've compiled a list of songs that halped me to survive 2003. maybe they could do something for you too. they are in no particular order, because they all kept me going.

* Stay With Me - Finch
* .44 Caliber Love Letter - AlexisOnFire
* You're The One I Want - Jets to Brazil
* Loved Ones - Poison the Well
* Last Train Home - LostProphets
* Memory (acoustic) - Sugarcult
* All That's Left - Thrice
* Last Year's Nest - BoySetsFire
* Skies So Blue - The Rocket Summer
* Great Romances of the 20th Century - Taking Back Sunday
* Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
* Stare At The Sun - Thrice
* And the Hero Will Drown - Story of the Year
* Until the Day I Die - Story of the Year
* Letters to you - Finch
* Heart of a Broken Story - The Promise Ring
* On Three - Brandtson
* Cherokee Red - Brandtson
* The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows - Brand New		  
     

(1 Understand | In A Crash )
 
...Merry X-mas!   
05:44pm 25/12/2003
 
mood: Spirited
music: Dashboard - letters from further away
hey everyone. just wanted to wish you all a merry christmas! this is one day out of the whole year to let your loved ones know that you appreciate everything that they do for you, and for helping you through all the hard times. despite the turbulence that can occur throughout the year, this is one day to put it all aside, and reflect on it and laugh. without the hard times, there wouldn't be any pleasant ones. so try to spend some time with the ones you love, and those who are important to you.

-enjoy your holiday guys!

this is a poem that i wrote a few weeks ago about winter, and what it means to me. check it out. for more of my poetry check out http://www.poetry.com!

Wither:

The dead of winter nears-
brisk, cold, and unyielding.
Choked, lifeless leaves spill from trees,
like the text pours from my tongue.
Leaves-lost souls, hollow and dry,
like the lives of those around me.
Unforgiving.
Life without reason,
death without reason.
Acceptance of the idea that the time has come.
A fact set by the chronicles nature has etched for us.
The dropping of leaves-
Prophecies of nature's merciless ways.
Foreshadowment of the lifeless cold.
The time has come for life to wither and fall.		  
     

(1 Understand | In A Crash )
 
 
shadowdriven
 
 
skip