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[22 Sep 2009|10:11am] |
There are small moments that mean more than entire weeks. They are so simple and seem so insignificant that while you're living them, they don't seem to be anything more than just another moment, but as you look back they are special. They are something that you will hold onto and treasure because in them there was a strange stillness - your heartbeat slows down from the frantic pace it has been at and you get the chance to speak those thoughts that have been trapped away in the shadows for too long.
Yesterday by a half dried up creek I sat on a rock with a friend and we expressed wearyness and loneliness and somewhere in there those feelings weren't as prominent and a strange pang of hope showed up. I'm not sure if she felt it too, but I know it was there. How do I know? A weight was lifted from me. That isn't to say that all my problems disappeared, but a chance to feel understood is rare. I'm getting them a lot lately and sometimes that is all I need.
"You know, I know exactly how you feel." and I knew how she felt and I'm pretty sure there are more people who understand than I think about because it takes a lot to share the things that I don't truly understand myself, the things that are merely feelings that cannot be justified by reason.
Throwing rocks at a tree was how that moment ended. The moment of stillness where bandages were taken off and wounds were exposed ended with giggling and making marks on a tree by throwing rocks at it because put simply, it felt good.
And that moment meant more to me than most of the last week. Maybe they are possible all the more if I'm willing to expose my weakness to those who will not run away from them. Maybe there are those around me who I understand more than they know and all they need is for me to speak the same words of understanding that mean so much to me. Maybe when we fall, we must trust that someone will catch us... and just... let it happen.
There as small moments that mean more than entire weeks.
And I am grateful for all of them.
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