Carla Gypsygirl's Blurty

Things that you don't notice

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I took this picture today- I do love a bit of playful graffiti! If someone hadn't doodled a face on this thingy, I would never have noticed that it looked like a little man.

I finally dragged myself off to job interviews this week. I went to some recruitment companies and did typing tests. All of the people there think that I'm a genius- they say, "Don't undersell yourself. You're not like one of those juniorburgers, straight out of a private college." Does that make me the Cheeseburger? One of the ladies looked at my resume and said, "Well, the fact that you have a degree will definitely help you. It shows that you can..." "Concentrate?" I said.

I made a big decision this week: to separate my creative life from my working life. I have decided that I will never again work full-time in a creative role, ESPECIALLY not as a graphic designer. A lot people have found this to be surprising; in fact, if a fifteen-year-old me could approach a present-day me, the teenage me would slap the current me in the face and shout, "BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY? NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE BORING OFFICE PEOPLE, YOU SELL-OUT!" In fact, when I was going to job interviews this week, Teenage Me was following Current Me around and shouting stuff, constantly. It was a bloody pain. Anyway, one thing that I have learnt from my short career as a graphic designer is this: I do not find graphic design to be fun. Actually, to be more specific, I do not find being someone else's graphic designer to be fun. All I did was move pictures and words around on a computer screen and do as I was told. And even if I could get to the stage where I could design as I pleased, I would still be doing way too many late nights for my liking. And what would be the point of getting to that stage, anyway? All I would get would be a stomach ulcer from all of the stress, a few bits of paper to put in my portfolio, and probably a divorce because I wouldn't have any time to spend with my husband. And by the way, let me tell you that being a junior graphic designer pays so badly that there is no way I could move out of home, pay rent and eat.

I have realised that I will never, ever become known for my own creative work while I am working for someone else. It is only the stuff I come up with on my own that I will ever be recognised for. Especially as a lot of the work I did for other people was ugly, because many clients just use you as a computer operator instead of as a designer.

So. I painted my nails a pearly pink and set out to get the best receptionist job I could find. And as soon as I had made that decision, I started to get arty ideas of things to do in my spare time. My mind started buzzing! And let me tell you, over the past few years, whenever I had a creative idea, I would block it out and feel yucky. It is amazing that I actually want to DO creative things now. I have started to draw again, and for the first time in years, it isn't painful. In fact, at times, my fingers itch for a sketchbook and pencil. I feel free all of a sudden.

My first attempt at trying to find an admin job didn't really go well. I called up about a job that I saw in the paper, and this was the conversation.

Girl: Hello, mumblemumblemumble! (unintelligible company name)
Carla: Oh, hello. I'm calling about that junior job? In the paper?
Girl: Um, how old are you?
Carla: I'm 25.
Girl: (horrified pause)
Carla: What? Is that too old?
Girl: It is waaaaaaaay too old. This is a JUNIOR role.
Carla: I thought that "junior" had more to do with the work you do, as opposed to your age. You know, as opposed to being senior in the company?
Girl: Well....like, how do you feel about being paid $8 per hour?
Carla: Um, okay, I see what you mean then. Thank you for being honest with me.
Girl: Yeah, I thought so. See ya.

But stay tuned. Tomorrow, I am hoping that my phone will ring with news of a job.