| 2:49p |
Aging, banking and a chocoholic's dream
I am doing a bit of a Miro at the moment. Explanation: famed artist Miro would not eat for ages and ages, in the hope that it would make his art more fluid and natural. I have just been too busy to eat my lunch yet, and now that it's past 3pm, I'm feeling my mind begin to blur over. But let's just pretend that it's all an artistic experiment to make my writing better.
So, when it rains it pours, and equally, when it's a desert, it's all dry and crappy with no oasis in sight. Can both of these weather types exist at once? In Carla Gypsygirl Land, they do. Okay, so the desert thing: my current work really sucks right now. Inga, the lady I work with, made me cry the other day, and I had to flee Ye Olde Department Store with my red eyes hidden behind dark glasses. I took refuge in a nearby Starbucks and whimpered to my fiance on the phone. I hoped that some rich executive would turn around and say, "You know, I am looking for a new employee, and you, little lady, are just who I am looking for!" But alas, that did not happen. Basically, at Ye Olde Department Store (YODS), Inga does not like the fact that I am not her actual, physical, workaholic clone, and also, I lack the ability to read her mind. So, with the humiliation of tears at YODS ever-fresh in my mind, I embarked on an attempt to find more work. And, don't laugh, but this hunt for work resulted in me trying to get a job at a bank. I really admire bank workers, but I am not a banky person myself. I think I am a bit too silly for that type of serious work. But I wanted to get out of Ye Olde Department Store any way that I could. So, for this bank job, I did an epic online application, 2 phone interviews, plus the 2 ridiculous online tests. One of the tests was a maths test, and the other was a personality test. The personality test asked questions like this: "Which of the following statements do you agree with more: 'I try to get even with others if they put me down', or, 'I work better when I have set goals'?" I mean, hello, why not just ask me point blank: "Are you a psycho? Are you controlling? Do you lie? Do you steal?" I mean, I prefer honesty to psychological mumbo-jumbo. Anyway, I failed one or both of those tests, because the next day, a girl from the bank called to say that I didn't get the job. And you know what ? I burst into tears and couldn't do anything else productive for the rest of the day. You see, the day before that rejection, I also didn't get this fashion design job that I knew I could do. I could have done that fashion job standing on my head, underwater and in a paper bag. You know what I mean. When I face so much rejection, I start to think, "How could that company do this to me? Don't they know how much this breaks my heart and crushes my spirit?"
Okay, now onto the rain. So, Carla Gypsygirl might not be able to get a job behind a desk. But will that stop her from earning a living? I say NO! My agent Dhebbii (her name is actually Debbie, but she likes alternate spellings) called me last Wednesday and said those magic words: "I have an audition for you." But then, some complications emerged- it was an audition for a chocolate ad, where I would be playing SOMEONE'S MOTHER. As you will know, people often assume that I am actually 10 years younger than my true age (which is 25, in case you were wondering). Like, the other day, when my sister and I went to vote, the guy at the desk asked me, "Have you voted before?" And I wanted to shout, "I AM 25! I am old enough to remember who Bob Hawke is, you fool!" So, while I would relish the opportunity to have a fake child and fake husband, I did not believe that I could pull off being someone's mum. But Dhebbii reassured me: "Don't worry- just make sure you don't go in there looking like your usual, youthful self. Wear something sensible. Do your hair and makeup differently." So I thought long and hard how I could age myself. You can buy fake eyelashes at M.A.C, but can you buy fake wrinkles anywhere? What do mums these days wear? I mean, all mums are different. On the day of the audition, I settled for wearing more makeup and dressing less like a rock star and more like someone with a mortgage. I slathered foundation all over my face, put on tons of blusher and eyeshadow and wore a long, flowy skirt. My face felt like a brick wall and my long skirt kept getting in the rain puddles, but I was convinced I looked at least 30. The audition was much better than that stupid drug awareness audition, and yesterday, I found out that I have been short-listed for the ad. Hurrah! I also asked the casting people if I would get to eat chocolate, even though my character in the ad doesn't. And they assured me that there would be loads of chocolate lying around on the set. Woo hoo!
As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But as I say, when you get lemons, throw them back, run away and drink a good hot chocolate instead. I have also started to paint again, which is very scary for me, but also fulfilling and engaging. I am also auditioning for something else this week- a short film that has a hint of The Rocky Horror Picture Show about it. My life may not be raking in the bucks, but at least I can say that I am feeling more creatively stimulated than usual. And I have nice friends, too.
Carla Gypsygirl xxx |