| 11:19p |
The plight of the actress continues...
I swear, I have been so out of control with my temper this week. Like, today, after only being at work for 5 minutes, I got SO MAD that I considered just walking out! I toyed with the idea of resigning- it would be dramatic and fun. But, ya know, drama and fun don't pay the bills, people. And then, that dude Nutella (see my last post) was getting in my way again by literally trying to snuggle up to me. I mean, why would he do that? He doesn't like girls! Anyway, I ended up telling him tersely, "Get outta my way before I kick your arse!" Which, as you might recall, was the exact same thing that I told him to do last week. This explosion of mine was accompanied by a chorus of my friends saying, "Oooooh!" This lady Inga who I work with was annoying me SO MUCH today, to the point where I just said to her, point blank, "I don't actually have any idea what you are talking about." I did heaps of work for her on the weekend, and then she came in and said I did ALL of it wrong, and so she spent a whole two days doing it AGAIN, and then lecturing me on it! And, finally, I got so furious and frustrated with all of those boring rich customers with their Gucci/Louis Vuitton/Chanel/Chloe etc etc bags being rude and generally irritating, that I literally had to keep repeating to myself, "Do not hit anyone. Do not hit anyone." Like, just before we were about to close on Saturday night, this lady came up to me and started to tell me about her opinions about all of the latest It bags. Like, not in a friendly-conversation way, but in an I'm-a-little-crazy-but-also-rich-and-I-can-waste-so-much-of-your-time kinda way. I mean, why would I be interested in her knowledge of designer bags? Just because someone is wealthy, it doesn't make them instantly interesting. On the weekend, I served so many girls who are probably still teenagers, who spend all of their time shopping for designer things using their parents' money. Great way to help the world, girls- I'm glad to see where the feminist revolution has brought us!
Whew!
So tonight, when I was hanging out at my friend Jamie's place for a Bible study, I asked everyone to pray that I would be patient and not so cranky. Because, obviously, that is something that I need to work on. I think that I am just feeling majorly frustrated with life at the moment. Even though I am constantly applying for jobs, it is still hard to get employed. And, even though I said I wasn't feeling Sunset Boulevard before, that Sunsetty feeling is definitely sinking in now. I mean, one moment, I am on set with celebrities and up-and-coming actors. The next, I'm back at work with one colleague telling me that I am fat, and the other telling me that my shoes are ugly and "chunk-a-rama". It's hard not to feel a bit lost and let down.
The acting opportunities have been looking a bit more promising than usual, but it seems like it's all opportunities but no action. My agent called and asked if I wanted a non-speaking role in a local hospital drama, and all I did was scream in reply. I spent the next few days wondering what sort of non-speaking it role would be. Would I be playing a distraught girlfriend? A dead person? A nurse who just nods and passes things to the surgeon? A refugee who can't speak English? But alas, that particular job didn't come through.
But then on Friday, my agent called and said that I had an audition for an ad. The ad was one that warned people about the dangers of using drugs. I had to play an office girl who is concerned for her drug-addled colleague. I got really excited about this, too, because ads are worth LOTS of money for us actors- thousands! Unfortunately, I don't think that I got that role, either. This is what happened at the audition on Monday...
Carla walks into a small room where a video camera is set up. The director asks her to stand facing the camera, and then turn to the side, and then look over her shoulder, and then do it all again but in reverse. Carla stuffs it up the second time, and feels like a moron. She thinks, "Damn! And this is only basic gross motor stuff!"
Director: Okay, so your colleague is sitting in front of you. He's just taken some illegal drugs. He's rubbing his hands together and just looking weird. You're concerned for him, and you're chatting with your boss about it. You're saying, "Oh, he looks bad...I think I should get him a drink of water."
Carla: (nodding vigorously) Okay.
Director: Okay...(he steps behind camera) and, action!
Carla: (screws up face and whimpers) Oh my gosh...look at him! I can't believe it...Andrew is acting so weird lately! I don't know what to do! (Carla sobs a bit)
Director: Just take it back a bit.
Carla: What?
Director: I mean, you look like you're crying. Just act concerned. And don't talk.
Carla: Okay. Sorry.
Director: Okay, here we go again...action!
Carla: (Looks worried but does not do any wrinkle-inducing faces. Looks at her invisible collegue and then back to her invisible boss a few times. Takes a few deep breaths.)
Director: (after 20 seconds) Thanks, that'll do.
Carla: Do I need to sign anything else?
Director: No, you can go now.
And that was it! I took 3 hours off work (and caught a $15 taxi!) for an audition that went for less than 5 minutes, for a role I probably won't get! I felt so sad after this...I really feel like I didn't get that role.
So, poo poo. I can't think of anything else to write today, so hopefully next time I write it will be more cheerful news. I'm going to bed to sulk now, and, more importantly, to pray.
Lala |