Carla Gypsygirl's Blurty

How can you say "No, thanks" without being a biyatch?
Good gracious me, what a busy week! And it's almost me bedtime, so bullet-less bullet points it is...

The Magic Hat

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the Magic Hat, being worn by a handsome man named Geoff and yours truly! Why, I hear you ask, is the hat magic? Well, it is magic because whoever wears this hat is instantly transformed into a chic, fashion-forward babe slash hunk! I swear, this hat looks good on everyone! And it was only 50 cents! I encourage you to find a magic hat of your own!

"He's saying, 'Yeah, can I take your digits?' And you're like, 'No, not in a million years. You're nasty, please leave me alone...I've gotta go, cos my house is on fire.'" Lily Allen, "Ldn"
Oh, why can't I be as eloquent as Lily Allen? A customer asked me out at work yesterday, and I just didn't know what to say. I always feel so mortified when a boy makes a move on me. I think that maybe it's a result of having gone to an all-girl's school and not having any boy ask me out until I was 19. Anyway, for once, the guy who asked me out yesterday was under 35 and not a nutter, but still, I've got a boyfriend who I'm madly in love with, and I'm not going to go out with a guy who's spoken to me for under five minutes, am I? Anyway, the end of the conversation went like this:

Suitor: "Would you like to have a drink or coffee with me sometime?"
Carla: (not hearing, because of the annoying Christmas music in the store) "Pardon?"
Suitor: (poor geezer, having to repeat himself!) "Would you like to have a drink or coffee with me sometime?"
Carla: "Oh, thank you so much, you are very sweet and I'm very flattered, but I already have a boyfriend."
Suitor: "Well, he's a very lucky guy."
Carla: (embarrassed silence) "Well, you're lucky, too."

Excuse me? You're lucky, too?! I meant to say something like, "You're a catch, you'll find someone, you're so nice! It takes guts to ask out a chick in a posh department store!" But instead, I said that weird thing about luck! I mean, it didn't even make sense! I later relayed my comment to a colleague, and this esteemed friend of mine said, "Maybe it could mean that he's lucky he's not going out with you." And I thought, yeah, she has a point. I mean, I AM very high maintenance. There's the usual girl stuff- I cry a lot, I fuss over clothes and makeup, and I take long showers. Plus, Geoff and I have been going out for almost two years now, and I have only gone to ONE football game with him, even though he would prefer it if I went every single Saturday. I am a bad girlfriend! But at least Geoff and I BOTH think we're lucky to have each other...I don't think there's any confusion there.

HOLLYWOOOOOOD!
My agent called me back about that film, and I have a second audition next Tuesday! Woo! I am so excited. This is totally the break I have been waiting for. I hope I get it. And that is all I'm going to say, because more and more bloggers get sued for leaking confidential information EVERY SINGLE DAY. Poo! It's interesting, too! Damn secrets!

Health vibes
Okay, so don't tell anyone this, but: I have joined a gym. And, what is worse, I ACTUALLY LIKE IT! Yes, me! Me, who always ridiculed people who wake up at 5am to get all sweaty before work while wearing shiny tight clothes and running on a treadmill that goes NOWHERE! This totally wrecks my reputation as a junk food-loving, TV-watching, outdoorsy lazy girl! But, when your grandpa has a heart attack and you find yourself puffing after cleaning the bathroom, you think, "Mmmm, a little working out here and there won't go astray." I joined this all-female gym, and it's just fab. There's women of all different shapes and sizes there, calmly working out while watching TV. They have no fear of boys seeing their cellulite, and they have no fears of a stray booby popping out during aerobics. Straight after I signed up with this gym, I walked out of that gym sipping water and feeling as though I'd become healthier just from osmosis. I now do yoga, and yes, I do pedal on bikes that don't go anywhere, and I row when I am not on water. But each machine has its own TV with Foxtel, so I can work out and watch Futurama at the same time. I feel really good- like Britney says, I feel stronger than yesterday, and nothing's gonna get in my way!

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Okay peeps, until next time! Let's hope I'll be a movie star next time I write...or at least, not nearly as sleepy and puffed out!

Carla Gypsygirl