And I thought dealing with e-groupies was bad! If you are a regular reader of the chronicles of my life, you will we aware of a current struggle of mine: dealing with the reality of being a rock star's girlfriend, as opposed to the fantasy of it. You see, in the fantasy, the rock star's girlfriend gets to hang out with a nice rock band, and the lead singer always dedicates songs to her. She is always at her rock boy's gigs, she's sociable and adorable, she has a kick-ass rock chick wardrobe, and she preferably looks like Kate Hudson or one of The Donnas. Of course, there is a little bit of the fantasy in the reality. But there are also the icky things, like not being into heavy metal (it is growing on me, though), not getting to spend heaps of time with your man because he is busy rehearsing, having to deal with groupies in eyeliner and push-up bras throwing themselves at your boyfriend, not looking like Kate Hudson or any of The Donnas, and not being able to go to all of your boyfriend's gigs beacuse you have a crappy cold and because you spent too much time at uni dreaming about rock stars so now you have to work in a department store on weekends. Or maybe that's just me. Anyway, the most recent salt in the rock tattoo wound is this: I have been the victim of an e-meanie who calls himself Duckguy. Which, if you ask me, is a pretty unfortunate choice of a moniker, because if you swap the "u" in "Duck" for an "i", well, you get a name which is much less flattering, but of course, much more descriptive of the e-meanie's personality.
What, I hear you ask, is an e-meanie? Well, an e-meanie is someone who uses electronic mediums to be mean to people. An e-meanie is a person who sends nasty text messages, who uses their camera phone to take photos up a girl's skirt while on a crowded train, who starts hate blogs, and, in my recent experience, who writes nasty comments on web pages.
My encounter with the e-meanie known as Duckguy occurred when I posted a review on the Triple J Unearthed website. Like a good rock star's girlfriend, I was voting for my boyfriend's band Passive Escape. As you know, I'm not the biggest metal fan that ever lived. But I do like my boyfriend's band. So, I voted for their song
Blind to Reason, and under the nickname of Donna G, I wrote the following comment:
"This is THE BEST prog metal I've EVER heard! So intricate, so engaging, so thoughtful. And the lead singer is HOT! Donna G."
A pretty tame comment, don't you think? Friendly, sweet and complimentary. I will admit that I have no idea what prog metal is. But, there I was, trying to support my lead singer boyfriend and an unsigned Aussie band. Then, a few days later, Duckguy wrote this charming comment:
"To Donna G: This is not even prog metal. Its just REALLY badly done pop metal. Have you even heard of bands like Isis, Neurosis or Pelican? The idea of prog is that the song structure is PROGRESSIVE and UNFOLDS. This is just plain chorus verse outro whatever. Learn your facts before you blindly make huge statements like that. Duckguy."
First of all, his grammar, syntax and spelling sucks. Secondly: what an e-meanie! I was a bit hurt. It's one thing to be nasty to a band; it's another thing to abuse their fans. What sort of a person spends their time attacking people for writing a tiny review on an unsigned band? What sort of a person is boring enough to obsess over niche definitions of music? And so, I could not resist replying with this:
"Hey Duckguy, loosen up, dude! Maybe you're just jealous because I said the lead singer guy is good looking. Passive Escape are a band who are out there making music, and giving things a go- good on them. At least they're not sitting around typing up mean things about other bands. Who cares if they are prog metal, pop or just a bunch of Aussie blokes bashing out sounds? I like them because they sound great, and it seems like lots of other voters do, too! Donna G."
I'm shocked that some people take time out of their day to be awful to other people. I think that there's enough icky stuff in our world right now- there's no need to make other people feel bad! I believe that the Internet is already full of negative comments, whining and bitching, so I've always wanted to contribute in a positive way instead. The Internet is such a powerful thing- why not use it for good, rather than e-mean behaviour? I know that I make the occasional sarcastic joke about certain celebrities or people who irritate me, and I have to say that I do feel hypocritical writing about Duckguy. But I feel that the things I say are quite tame and for the sake of entertainment; besides, I like to think that anything I write is what I would say to someone's face, anyway. Duckguy, on the other hand, was being petty, cruel and just plain unkind. I did feel initially uncomfortable about writing that response comment to Duckguy on the Unearthed site. I mean, what if Duckguy finds me and attacks me and makes me listen to Isis etc for 24 hours? What if I, too, had become an e-meanie? I discussed it with Geoff, and he said, "I think that your comment to Duckguy was quite objective." And I was like, "Objective?! I've PASHED the lead singer! How objective can I be?"
So anyway, if you are brave enough, please vote for Geoff's band Passive Escape in the Triple J Unearthed competion! Vote for their song
Blind to Reason, which is currently number 3 on the metal charts! Put in a good word for your faithful correspondent, Donna G (ie, me!)! But don't reveal my true identity- I so do not want a confrontation with an angry, prog-metal enthusist and e-meanie like Duckguy!
Here's the link:
http://www.triplejunearthed.com/passiveescapeThanks, guys!
Lots of love,
Carla Gypsygirlps. I just checked, and the Triple J Unearthed competition doesn't end for quite awhile (around a month)- so vote away, if you can (please)!