| 9:32p |
An explanation
Well, I planned to write a terribly witty post today, but suddenly, it's night time and I'm sleepy and a day at work is looming on the horizon. The witty post will have to wait until next time.
So, the explanation of my weirdness of late. My grandfather had a heart attack two weeks ago, and I felt like my world was falling apart. I spent the night with him and my grandmother in the emergency ward. There were people there who looked so sick and so old that I was scared that they might die at any moment. I held my grandfather's hand a lot, and tried not to panic. I tried to get my grandmother to sleep. Two days later, I packed up and moved out to my grandmother's place, so that she wouldn't be alone. Before my grandfather went to hospital, he had only been apart from my grandmother for five weeks since they got married. A week ago, my grandfather had a six-way bypass done on his heart. He's heaps better now. After the surgery, my grandmother hugged the heart surgeon and said, "I love you!" I saw my grandfather today, and I heard him laugh for the first time in ages. I also made him a little red sock monkey called Ghin Hong, which is Cantonese for "Healthy".
I've spent the past two weeks totally freaking out. It made me so sad to see my grandfather so sick. My family's really close. I have been surprised at how upset I've been, though. I mean, I know lots of other people who have had family members who have been really sick, but most of them didn't lose it like I did. Well, I didn't LOSE it- there was no crazy behaviour or anything. I just felt this sadness and fear that enveloped me. I couldn't concentrate on anything. At work, I'd just been standing there and then I'd get teary all of a sudden. I didn't want to be happy, but I also didn't want to be so sad.
But everything is getting better. My grandfather is improving every day, and hopefully he will come home in the next few weeks. All the things that I was working on before, like my amazing career plan, have been put on hold. I just want to help my grandparents out. I cleaned the house today, and it felt good to be able to help them a little. I don't know what's in store for me with my future. I told my mum about how nice the neighbours are here. Like, the guy across the road carried my shopping home for me! I told her how no-one here brandishes Machetes if you get on their bad side. And then she said, "Wasn't it a hacksaw? No, it was an axe. It was definitely an axe." And that's WITHOUT mentioning the tree-poisoning, the bin-filling and the screaming matches!
Hopefully, I will have better news in my next post! But isn't it nice to be all de-mystified?
Much love,
Carla Gypsygirl xxx |