Carla Gypsygirl's Blurty

Carla's Latest Hollywood and High-Fashion Report!
You know, I should have thought of getting a retail job a long, long time ago. I feel like I have so many more interesting things to write about. Last year, all I did was sit in an office and try to avoid my boss when he was playing "Guess Carla's Bra Size" (true, sad and another long story). And this year, boy! There's celebrities, new people, fashion, handbags, extravagance! The list goes on!

Okay, so, celebrities. I have served one real celebrity- that fashion designer lady- and it was a very intimidating experience. She was very loud and silly, and she bought her $2000 handbag so quickly that it made me dizzy. This past weekend, I sold a $1600 handbag to the First Secretary of a small, Middle Eastern country. Well, it was for his wife, anyway. I felt more flustered serving him than when I served that fashion designer lady. The First Secretary dude was very nice to me, and I got all stammery and stupid, and when I handed his purchase over, I said, "It's been an honour to serve you, sir." Then I felt all confused, because I thought that the country he came from was meant to be really poor. But I have since found out that his country is actually very rich, so now I don't feel guilty about making budget. Wooo!

Today, I was in the city, and I walked past the State Theatre. There were police in fluoro yellow vests, flashing lights and metal barricades. Last time I saw such intense media coverage outside the State Theatre, it was because John Howard was in a press conference next door. I walked past the crowd that was across the street from the State Theatre, and they were standing in the cold, icky rain and waving digital cameras. I knew that our humble PM couldn't cause a reaction like that, and after I questioned a stranger next to me, I found out that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston were across the road for the premiere of their new movie, The Break-Up. I saw Vince's back, and he's very tall. I considered hanging around to gawk, and I reminded myself feverishly that out of all of the celebrities out there, I really do like Jennifer Aniston. I mean, she's a bit too skinny, and her muscley arms spook me, but she seems very real and nice. Plus, she is way cool in Along Came Polly. Anyway, I ended up moving along and leaving. I don't think that Jennifer needed yet ANOTHER person staring at her. Plus, I didn't want to star in my own, real-life The Break-Up by being late for Geoff. Not that he'd break up with me for being late. Hello, that's something that silly old me would do! He is far too nice for that sort of foolish behaviour.

I am so much like Jennifer Aniston's character in Along Came Polly that it's scary. And, for the record, I would TOTALLY choose Ben Stiller over Brad Pitt. I mean, Ben is soooooo funny! And maybe, we could all hang out at Jack Johnson's place in Hawaii, because Ben did a cameo for one of Jack's music videos! Although, I wouldn't want to listen to Jack sing and play all the time, because he gets a bit annoying. So maybe me and Ben could lock Jack in the beach shack while we write our new movie together.

My morning today was so bad that it was comical. I had to stand in the cold rain with a busted umbrella, my bus got caught in traffic, and I was half an hour late to work. And then, this lady who works on my floor spilt coffee all down my skirt. But I have learned that if you are going to have coffee spilt on you, make sure it is the lady who works at a high-end makeup counter! The lady was very very sorry, and offered me a free lipstick. Woo! Gotta love having clumsy friends in shiny, fashionable places.

Yesterday, I was so tired that I felt like I was going to die! Silly me...I stayed out too late at a party the night before. Geoff's friend had a 21st that had a "Superheroes" theme, and I ended up going as The World's Most Cost-Effective Catwoman. My tail and whip were made from a pair of old black stockings, and I made my own cardboard mask. I felt super-trashy, in a fun kind of way. Dressing up in costume is so liberating- you can leave red lipstick marks on your boyfriend's cheek, you can whip the birthday boy on the butt and you can wear a tail, and people will think that you're cute and funny and not a slutty moron!

Meanwhile, I totally want to buy a trench coat at the moment. I think that a trench coat would be a great Wardrobe Solution for me. I think I would feel more pulled-together, and I would be warm and dry. I would imagine that I was Kate Moss in a Burberry ad. Plus, I am working a twelve-hour shift this week, so I gotta get my retail therapy in SOMEHOW!

Much love,
Carla Gypsygirl xxx