| 8:43p |
The hunt continues...S.O.S!
Sometimes, I wish that I had a special calculator that could tell me exactly what percentage of emotions I have experienced throughout this week. Then I wish that I could make lots of money from it (look, I've been unemployed for awhile now). Since I don't have a magical calculator, I can't give you a nice pie graph. What I CAN do is describe and explain. I feel like I have experienced every single emotion this week. It leaves a girl a bit exhausted.
Okay, so for most of this week, I was TOTALLY FREAKED OUT. As you may recall, I have been doing a trawl through Sydney's finest retailers in the hope of finding myself a snazzy part-time job. For the record, I have been rejected by two large jeans companies. Like I care, anyway. I hate jeans! (Ahem...sour grapes, anyone?). Anyway, just as I was getting excited about working at a very poshy department store, I got an email from a publishing company! This was a company I had been interviewed by a few months ago. I was sort of offered a junior photographer role there, but I decided not to do it because I had my heart set on being a graphic designer. The CEO lady told me that she thought I was lovely, and she said that she would let me know when a graphic design position was available. And she kept to her word! So for the past few days, I have been doing trial work at this magazine publishing company.
I got SO excited- I felt like this new potential job was the answer to everything. I stayed home for two days straight and learned all of InDesign (a layout program which you use to design multi-page things, like magazines). It was easier than I thought. So, on a tangent, if there are any designers out there who are scared to take the plunge to learn InDesign, JUST LEARN IT! You won't regret it...it's so nice to feel smug sometimes. The past few days have had nice moments. The office of the publishing company is in a very trendy suburb where I have always wanted to live. The office itself is a large, airy converted warehouse space. The people who I worked with were all boy-crazy girls, which of course means lots of interesting and fun conversations.
But. But, but, but. When it rains, it POURS. The day I found out about the job trial, I got a call back from the posh department store. They called to offer me a part-time position, which was very nice of them. But instead of being happy, I kinda panicked. I accepted the department store job, but I was also been thinking, "What if I get the magazine job? Then I'll have to bail out on the department store people, and they will hate me!"
My very first day at the publishing place was really weird. I was so freaked out about using that new program. And yet, when I got there, the work was so much easier than I thought. People were really nice to me, and there was no weird boss who came up behind me to ask if I had an eating disorder, or if I had worms, or if it was true that in China people even eat grasshoppers. But when I got home, I felt so confused. My family was being so sweet to me- they were so excited that I might have a new job. But I went into my room and cried! I felt so strange- the day had been so good, but I wanted that job SO BADLY. I felt so lost. It was also strange to be around so many girls my own age who had things that I didn't have- cars, nice shoes, jobs. Like, the girl who managed the design department was my age! And also, while being unemployed CAN be fun, mostly it's a huge strain. I feel like I have to constantly motivate myself to learn more and do more. Oh, and make money on the side. I do worry that I will never find work.
So anyway, on the weekend, I was really stressed about what I should do. I felt like I had this publishing job in the bag. I was planning to call up the department store and fake a few coughs and say, "Oh, I have glandular fever- can I sign my contract next week?" But I have noticed that I have been lying A LOT lately. Like, when I was at my old crummy job, I would turn up late and say, "I had to avoid my stalker, so I caught a different bus," when REALLY, I was going to job interviews at rival companies.
I decided to pray and ask God for guidance. So I opened up the Bible, and all of the bits that I read basically said, "DO NOT LIE!" I felt as confused as ever today. But thankfully, God provided a way for me to avoid lying. It turns out that the publishing people don't know if they want to hire me, anyway. I mean, they have asked me to work the rest of the week, but they are still going to interview more people. I told the publishing company that I have a part-time job, and they said to go for it, because they want me to "keep my options open". Plus, today, one of the bosses was acting like my EX-BOSS, which of course, is extremely undesirable. I mean, the last thing I want is to work for someone who will make a million changes to my designs AND constantly tell me how much it will cost to print in colour. Like, I am happy to make ten thousand changes, but a million is always pushing it.
So. Tomorrow, I am going to go to the department store to SIGN MY LIFE AWAY! The thing is, the department store people have been really nice. I feel really slack for almost dissing them. They keep saying how they think I would make a great manager, and how they will support me if I pursue a career with them. It's nice to have an employer believe in me, for once. And I do miss serving people face-to-face. The funny thing is that they have put me in one of their most super-poshy departments. Like, it's more posh than most of the store. They are under the impression that I am a very refined, sophisticated woman, and I don't want to destroy that illusion. I mean, I don't know how they would react if they knew that I think Kate Moss is cool and that one of my favourite songs has lyrics that go, "I just wanna borrow you/And a box of cereal too/ Don't have a heart attack, she can have you back/ I just want you for a midnight snack!" So on Wednesday, I am going to buy a whole heap of elegant black clothes. Hey, that new 25% discount better go a long way...
But I am going to paint my nails black tomorrow. It's a special occasion, this contract-signing thing, and a girl should allow herself SOME self-expression.
Lots of love,
Carla Gypsygirl
ps. I am still totally obsessed with Rihanna and that S.O.S. song. It is AWESOME! I have even put up with listening to Nova's stupid promotions about The Di Nova Code so that I can hear it more! I mean, is it so bad that I want to be a Caribbean girl in a green dress? Is it strange to want a mirror box I can sit in? La la la, la la la, la la la, la la oooooh! |