| 8:17p |
What are they gonna do- fire me?
The following rhetorical question has been popping up frequently in my mind: "What are they gonna do- fire me?" Yesterday, I actually RAN AWAY from my office so that I could attend a job interview. I had told Hana (my manager) that I would be going to an interview, but I hadn't told Barry (my boss). I just couldn't do it tell him. I didn't want to let him down, and also, he's scary when he's mad. And, as irony would have it, twenty minutes before I had to make my getaway, Barry summoned me to our showroom. He asked me to dismantle our current display of last season's clothing. which was pinned up on a board in the showroom. After I feverishly yanked the clothes off the boards, I was about to dash off. But then, Barry came waltzing into the showroom, flanked by Robert (our sales manager) and Melissa (our production girl). He began discussing the new display with them. I knew that at any moment, Barry would turn to me and ask me to do something. And so, what did I do? I slipped out the door, grabbed my stuff and ran out the back door. I felt so guilty, but sometimes, a girl's just gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
The interview was in a trendy inner-city suburb. It was a really hot day, so hot that I could feel my purple eyeshadow melting into the creases of my eyelids, and my high heels were giving me blisters. All the little kids were finishing school, and they were eating gelato. As I have now gone into damage control with my money (who knows when I will next find a job?), I did not buy a gelato for myself. On a tangent, I am quite proud of my damage control efforts at the moment...for example, the other day, instead of buying a chocolate croissant for breakfast, I bought a loaf of bread and a jar of Nutella. And the Nutella and bread provided me breakfast for A WHOLE WEEK! And I still got my daily (okay, twice-daily) chocolate hit!
Anyway: back to the interview. The magazine headquarters were in a converted warehouse. It had an open plan, and lots of girls around my age were working there. Everything seemed quite peaceful and feminine. I had to wait for about 15 minutes before the editor interviewed me, and it was an excruciating wait. I didn't know if I should get a book out to read- would that make me look impatient? And if I didn't do anything, then would I look unproductive? I took to sitting quietly and staring at things, while also avoiding extended eye contact with anyone. I got quite a few kind smiles.
Finally, I was ushered into the editor's office. It was a dim, mahogany haven with photographs on the wall and international magazines on the floor. The editor was very nice and professional. She said very positive things to me. She even liked the secret (yet cool!) craft that I showed her. And yet, when I left the office, I felt really sad. I felt like a bit of an idiot, because the role was for a junior photographer, and I'm not really a photographer. Also, I'd had a bad day at work. It was the new girl's first day. I'd fluctuated between freaking out that I wasn't teaching her properly, to wanting to be her best friend, to being violently jealous of her (she is very pretty and also very good at design).
My family was very sympathetic and sweet when I got home. I knew that I had to get out of the house and stop sulking. I drove to Geoff's place, and we went to Krispy Kreme's. We both agreed that Krispy Kreme's is trying to make everyone as fat as possible. You see, you can order a donut sundae, which is a donut with a scoop of icecream in the hole. Geoff referred to it as "ordering a heart attack". At Krispy Kreme's, you cannot order ONE scoop of icecream- you have to order TWO. AND, you can now get donuts delivered TO YOUR DOOR! This theory, of course, did not stop us from ordering hot chocolate and coffee and a chocolate custard donut to share. "Can you BELIEVE they don't have these in Melbourne?" I marvelled with my mouth full.
When we got out of the car that night, Geoff gave me a big hug. "What's wrong?" he asked me. I said quietly, "I'm sad," and I felt a few little tears in my eyes. It's just been a bit too much lately- applying for one job after another, worrying about the future, not buying chocolate croissants...and also just doing regular life stuff. He hugged he for a little while longer, kissed me on the head and said, "You'll be all right, sweetie. Okay?" Sometimes, I feel like Geoff is a bit magical...I can just hug him, and I feel better.
It comforts me to know that, amongst all of this confusion, God has a plan for me. I know that with all of these jobs and college places that I don't get, He is guiding me towards something. I know that He has loving actions. He also provides me with wonderful people to encourage me. I still wish that I trusted him more. I have a second interview with the magazine this Friday- yay!
Well, I'm going to tinker away at my secret (yet cool!) craft...all craft-related stuff will be revealed soon! Hope you are all finding your own magical things out there in your own lives...
Lots of love,
Carla Gypsygirl
ps. On a Popsugar level, does anyone else think it's weird that Hilary Duff is on the cover of Australian Cosmopolitan? I mean, I love the Duffster. She is cute and perky, and I love that she goes out with the lead singer from Good Charlotte. Although, I do think she is too skinny. Anyway, I dig lil' Duffy, but isn't Hilary Duff too young to even be READING Cosmopolitan? And do the people who work at Cosmo really think that women over 18 (myself included, of course) listen to Hilary Duff's music? I mean, HELLO, we grew up in the grungey 90's! I don't think that Hilary would even REMEMBER Veruca Salt, pork pie hats and Hypercolour t-shirts! Was she even BORN then? |