Carla Gypsygirl's Blurty

The Penguin Plan

The above photograph shows me at work. I do work in an office with a nice computer, but the photograph shows where I hide when I want to call Geoff, or when I just need to escape for a bit. I feel that the photograph captures how I feel about my job.

Big news, my friends: I resigned from my job today! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah! It was something that I was planning to do for months. I felt really nervous about resigning- I thought that my boss would be angry. Instead, he was surprisingly calm. At first, I was happy with that reaction, because hey, at least he didn't make me cry. He did, after all, make another girl cry yesterday. But then I realised that after my resignation, he hadn't really said anything nice like, "Thanks for all of your hard work," or "We'll miss having you around." Immediately after I told Barry, I went and told everyone in my office. For a short moment, I felt like a very exciting person. I felt revolutionary. Pretty much everyone who works at my company hates it there. So I felt good to be doing something about it. I felt really happy- it was fantastic to finally know that I would be leaving my miserable job. I am constantly surprised by how unhappy I became while I was working there. However, my mood was then dampened when I found out that a few mere hours after I had resigned, an advertisement for my position had already been posted on a job site- even though I am not leaving my job for another whole month. And then, an interview was organised with the very first applicant. I wish that my boss was a little more sensitive and nice about the whole thing. But I guess that's why I'm leaving.

When I was in the throes of sadness over my icky job, I took my little brother to see Madagascar. Immediately, I felt a sense of kinship with the evil penguin characters. You see, just like me, these penguins were scheming their way out of their dullsville environment. They craved adventure. They used what they had- wit, brawn and a plastic spoon- to get where they needed to go. And so, my Penguin Plan was born. Whenever I needed to mention my plans to leave my job, or my ill-feelings towards my job, I talked about penguins. This was so that no-one at work would guess what I was talking about. Whenever I was on the phone to Geoff, I would say something like, "The penguins are really sad today." I also wrote a lot about penguins in the e-mails I sent to my friends while I was work. For example, last week I wrote to my friend Grace that my penguins were looking for a new igloo, but they decided that they didn't like igloos anymore. I wrote that my penguins were going to hop onto a speedboat and drive away, making big, crazy waves. Then Grace drew me this really funny computer sketch with these penguins in a boat that were saying, "So looooooong, suckers!" My goodness, that girl has such a great sense of humour! Here is a picture of the Madagascar penguins.

So. In four weeks' time, I will be free of pyjama designs, deliriously long commutes, boring sandwiches, old-lady shirts and many more detestable things. Hopefully, I will also be studying advertising, with a very nice and interesting part-time job on the side. And, of course, I will attempt to spend much time with my love. Penguins rule!

In other news, dear readers, I came face-to-face with my stalker again! He has started to catch my bus, which is totally frightening! I catch a bus and then a train to work everyday, and I used to only see him at the train station. But now, I have discovered that he LIVES NEAR ME! I was pretty creeped out after I saw him, but I think that I have been successfully blunt with him. You can read our conversation to see if you agree.

[It is 8am in the morning. Carla sees the Scary Stalker Guy at the train platform. She walks far away from him, but he follows her. The train arrives, and Carla gets on the carriage furthest away from the Scary Stalker Guy. But, to Carla's dismay, the Scary Stalker Guy follows Carla onto the carriage. When Carla gets onto the despairingly empty carriage, all of the chairs are facing the wrong way. She flips a seat so that it faces the direction of travel, and then sits down and stares out the window. She does not remove her sunglasses. Unfortunately, Scary Stalker Guy (SSG) then sits directly opposite her. He drapes one of his arms across the chair, and sits with his legs wide apart.]

SSG: So, do you recall me?
Carla: Yes.
SSG: Where did you say you live again?
Carla: I don't want to tell you.
SSG: Why?
Carla: It's a secret.
SSG: Why?
Carla: Because I love secrets.

[Silence]

SSG (trying really hard to make conversation, while Carla stares resolutely out of the window, even though there is nothing to see in a black tunnel): So, you love secrets?
Carla: Yes.
SSG: Why won't you tell me where you live? Why do you hide yourself?
Carla: Because I don't know you.
SSG: But...what about when you first came to Australia?
Carla: I was born here.
SSG: Well, wasn't everyone you first met a stranger? Do you not tell anyone where you live? Are they all weirdos?
Carla: Some of them are.

[More silence]

Carla (remembering that it might be good to dob this guy into the police): So, what's your name again?
SSG: Mustafa.
[Carla thinks about how this name is similar to the name of the lion in The Lion King who dies a grisly death.]
SSG: And what is yours?
Carla: Carol.
[Please note, dear readers, that it is VERY BAD TO LIE, but when a Scary Stalker Guy is talking to you, well, what's a girl to do?]
SSG (looking relieved): I thought you were going to say that it was a secret.
Carla: Well, I was going to, but I changed my mind.

[Amidst many silences, SSG tries desperately to create more conversation by asking Carla if she has finished her studies, and telling her about his boring job. Finally, after another silence, Carla cracks under the pressure.]

Carla [staring SSG in the eye through her sunglasses]: Look, didn't I tell you that I have a boyfriend?
SSG: Why is that important?
Carla: Well, aren't you interested in me?
SSG: Actually, I am not.
[Um, HELLO, one of the first things this dude ever said to me was, "I think you are beautiful." And, can I note, that he was a COMPLETE STRANGER.]

[More stupid silence. Carla wrings her hands and stares out the window more.]

SSG: You look scared. Why?
Carla: Well, I don't know you, and I don't like talking to you.
SSG: I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.

[Silence]

SSG: Would you like me to sit somewhere else?
Carla: Yes.

[SSG then moves to sit behind her, which DOES NOT count as 'somewhere else'. A suitable 'somewhere else' would be on a completely different carriage. But of course, SSG does not realise this. Finally, their stop comes. SSG and Carla get off at separate exits. SSG then walks away really, really fast, so as to avoid Carla. He even runs across the road to avoid her. Yessssssssss! Another stalker bites the dust!]

And so, dear readers, there ends yet another action-packed day in the life of Carla Gypsygirl, who is a stalker-extinguisher extraordinaire. But seriously, thank you for continuing to read about my life. Thanks also for your love and support.

Stay tuned for what I hope will be some happier stories.

Carla Gypsygirl xxx