| 11:01p |
can it, christina!
So, dear friends, what has your Spacegirl learnt from working at Grace Bros for three years? Here, in today's hot blog entry, you'll learn the Tips and Tricks of a Christmas Retail Elf. Hold your breath, it's gonna be good...
FOR THE CHECK-OUT CHICK
Whether you're a boy or a girl, if you spend your weekends asking "Hi, how are you?" and "Do you have a Fly Buys card?" and standing up all day, you will be referred to as a "check-out chick". The more scientific terminology for such a person is "transaction centre operator". Here, Spacegirl Princess Carla will tell you the secrets of survival in this ancient trade.
1. Transaction centres are dangerous
Picture this scenario. You're at work, wandering amongst the Christmas food goodies on a Saturday morning. Suddenly, you hear many frantic women calling your name. You look over at the transaction centre to see your colleagues fretful and frantic, desperate for a simple tea-break, as the queues grow longer and longer. You try to escape, but before you know it, you find yourself behind a register, listening to how long it took your customer to find a parking spot. Be warned, dear friends: the transaction centre is really just a Spangled Black Hole, waiting to suck you up.
2. Accessorise...but forget the nail polish
Is the black and white monotony getting you down? Feel like a chessboard, a penguin, or a try-hard goth? Invent a few "looks" to amuse the customers! There's the Twiggy look (black mini-dress over a black long-sleeved t-shirt and black tights), the Punk Rocker look (straight black pencil skirt, black v-neck t-shirt, bright pink sash and pink reptilian wristbands), the Charlie's Angels look (black bootleg pants, black t-shirt and black boots), and the I've Run Out of Clean Tights, Just Leave Me Alone look(weird 80's lacey floral tights that you don't know why you bought). If you're a boy, make sure that you wear the same tie, day-in and day-out. It'll really amuse the ladies. But remember: the check-out chick's nail polish is always destined to chip.
3. Work with people who resemble celebrities
I used to work with the funky girl at Grace Bros called Kate, who was this sweet punk rocker. Back in 2000, she was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and a tie with a fat Windsor knot in it. Then along came a snotty-nosed little girl called Avril Lavigne, and boy, did we have a lot of funny things to say to Kate about her tie after that! I also used to work with this boy called Senthu, who used to say funny things like "What's crackin'?" and "aiight", just like they do in R&B music. One day, Selwyn came to perform in our shopping complex, and from then on, we always called Senthu "Selwyn", and asked him how come he wasn't going out with Delta yet.
4. Work with great people, full stop
I love the Books team. They rock! It always gets interesting when someone gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend or love interest, because then we have very important things to discuss, such as: Is it wrong if the boy you like keeps you waiting for over three hours?
5. What to do when the District Manager comes in
This dude called the District Manager came into our work during my last shift. I was working in the Christmas food department that day, and I figured that he must have been important, because when I got back from my break, Bruce was all a-flutter and greeted me with: "He's here!" What was a girl to do apart from conspire? Michael and I came up with this plan to impress the District dude: we would carefully push over a fixture of Christmas food to land on Marcus (Ian Chong's little brother), who would take off his name badge to make himself look like a customer. Michael would then do a superhero dive thingy and rescue Marcus, and I would then offer Marcus all of these Christmas hampers. In a fit of gratefulness to our Grace Bros heroics, Marcus would then spend thousands of dollars in the Christmas food department. And then we'd all be heroes!
6. Oh yeah...and customers
So many customers are really lovely, and they can leave a smile on your face just from their sweet manners. It amazes me how open and generous people can be with what they say if they like you. The other day, though, I had a mean customer. I was a bit upset already, and he kept asking me questions that I didn't know the answer to. Usually I'd listen to what he was saying and try to help, but he started to get really mean. So I just ran away and hid from him in the Books storeroom! After having a little cry, I then ventured into the Spangled Black Hole, until I thought he went away. He found me again, though. But this time I had someone with me, so I ran away and hid again, and let him work it out with my colleague. Running away is my new Plan B.
7. Smile and have fun
The team at Empire Records had the right idea. Don't be afraid to smile and dance and be yourself- it makes work a better place for yourself and everyone else.
FOR THE CUSTOMER
I think working at Grace Bros has taught me how to be a good customer as well. After reading this article, not only will you be a good customer, you would also have done all of your shopping much more quickly! Here are Spacegirl Princess Carla's tips on how to be a better shopper.
1. During Christmas time, catch the bus
Driving to the shops during Christmas is horrible, because it takes ages to find a parking spot. Do yourself (and the environment!) a favour by catching public transport.
2. Don't freak out
I serve so many customers who get all grumpy doing the Christmast shopping. And I think that that's sad, because finding and giving gifts is supposed to be a happy thing! So remember why you're doing it- because you love the person you're giving the present to. And with so many shops open til midnight, you've got plenty of shopping time to go!
3. Be nice
I think that manners are such a lovely thing. A customer with good manners always brightens up my day. I love it when people say "please" and "thank you" and look you in the eye when you ask them something. Surprisingly, a lot of people don't. So get out there and spread the word on manners through a simple smile!
4. Bring a discman (or an iPod, if you're lucky!)
Oh golly, the pain of walking around a shopping centre, listening to Christina Aguilera mangle another Christmas carol! Save yourself from getting the grumps by bringing along a discman or something similar. Suggested shopping music: Kylie Minogue, Britney Spears (before she did those panty duets with Madonna) and Frente.
5. Converse hi-tops are a good idea
I'm always nagging my sister to get her to stop wearing those pointy-toed heels of hers. Just think: comfortable shoes mean more shopping time!
***
The moral to the story, dear readers? Trying to relax during the Silly Season is a bit tricky. And being nice is always worth it- you can make someone's day without even realising it.
Spacegirl Princess Carla signing out without having really started her Christmas shopping, but definitely not stressing over it. |