| 11:57p |
"that's you and me, and that's the new technology..." (waikiki, 'new technology')
Looking out the window this morning was such a joy- the light seemed white, and everything looked so crisp and clean and clear. I ate my breakfast this morning in the sun, on the porch of my cubby house, while wearing my purple spotty pyjamas, pink woolly hat and the stripey scarf that I knitted myself. I was writing in my new pink journal (I finished my purple one the other day and started the new one on Sunday). That's my idea of bliss, and something I haven't done in a while.
I was racing around Macquarie shopping centre today saying "Argh! Argh! Argh!" in my head this afternoon! Uni is still really stressy. It turns out that there is so much more work to do on my dissertation than I realised. Because I ended up writing a play, I placed more emphasis on the characters instead of on the research component. So now I have to read a lot more and bug my friends to fill in surveys for me. I think that Jeremy is somewhat under the impression that I just went to a whole lot of parties to "research" for my dissertation. Which is a completely plausible argument- I mean, I was trying so hard to work the research into the dialogue in a subtle way that in the end, maybe it didn't come through at all.
You know how I've been writing that I like a certain boy? Well, I realised the other day that I needed to stop focussing on him so much. Because, I am ashamed to admit, that I was starting to think about this boy more than I was thinking about God and about serving others. And I don't want things to be like that- I want my relationship with God to be my number one priority. And so, I've been trying not to daydream so much about the boy. Which is quite hard, because I daydream so much about everything. And it's nice to think about your own love story instead of someone else's (like Mia and Mike from "The Princess Diaries"!). But I really want to leave this up to God. If we're meant to be together, then we'll be together. I've been asking God that we'll be together if it's His will, but if it's not, can He take away my feelings for the boy? I think that I need to be patient with both options, and learn what God is teaching me from this experience. Another thing is that I know it's not the right time- I'm really too busy to have a relationship, and I need to sort myself out a bit, too. I want to wait for God's perfect timing. I'm really blessed to be single at the moment- many people don't have a long period of singleness in their lives. I am lucky enough to be able to drop what I'm doing to support a friend, and I can really concentrate on uni work, and most importantly of all, I get to really focus on my relationship with God. And, you know, this boy is going to have to be someone really, really special if I'm going to be loving him for the rest of my life. |