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Starr's Blurty

Below are the 8 most recent journal entries.

 

 
  2003.04.10  16.48



So i hung out with that boy on tuesday. He said he was gonna call at a lil past eight.....yea well maybe my definition of a lil past eight is wrong but im not sure that 9:45 is a LIL past eight then he talked to me for awhile an was like why dont we meet up i want to introduce crystal to my friend dave i was like ok sure ....... didnt meet him until like 1130 . . .. it was a messed up nite first he was like yea i wanna hang out i wanna stay with u tonite i have something to do in the am but im not gonna do it so it doesnt matter if i stay up........key werd being something not somethings or things just something......then we went here went there an brought his friend home an he was like oh im just gonna stay here tonite im too tired to drive an blah blah blah....he was saying this as he was sipping on a coffee mind u..... so me being upset because i had just gone along for a ride that was like 1/2 hour out of my way because i thought that he was gonna spend the nite...... got in my car an left with crystal...hmmm...i made the 1/2 hour drive home in just over 10 mins. thats how 'happy' i was . . . . then im gettin ready to go to bed an crystals like hey i have a voice mail it was dave saying that jesse changed his mind an that they were coming over so by the time crystal called bak they were like already at the house....i still dont kno why they changed their minds an came bak but what ever i was still agitated an grrrrrrr to say the least ....so i just put on my cutest pajamas just because i could an crawled into bed an went to sleep. Then i wake up like 41/2 hours later to jesse tossin an turnin (keep in mind that this was all happening at like 430 in the am) an he was soo cute i couldnt resist a couple of kisses an just when he restored hisself to cute ness status ....... it went down hill again. He started sayin that he had to get bak to his car an blah blah blah an when i was like what the hell i thought u didnt have anything to do today an he was like well im not gonna do what i had to do at nine but i do have other things to do....well WTF seriously. Dont tell me u dont have anything to do then all of a sudden have things to do again. shit if u cant hang then dont......id like u more if u were like oh i have to go home i have things to do in the am rather than say oh im not doin what i have to do then all of a sudden have things to do....duh. Seriously. So then he did his thangs an we ended up hangin out with him an dave again last nite except i kept gettin attitude from him for no reason he was just being not hisself an i wasnt to thrilled so i cut the visit short an took crystal an left hey if he has to be that way i can ruin it for his friend too. . . . shit. Take that .. .. .. .. so im supposed to see him tonite an well i kno hes gonna wanna come home with me im gonna look hottttt soo well see ~oNe~



Mood: Like WTF?
Music: None
 
 


 
  2003.04.08  12.28
It must be spring


Whats with this crazy weather? Seriously. I mean i kno its New England an all but still i've definatly had enough for one season. And it has to be spring because well ive met the beautiful person i want to keep all for me an that never happens in the winter... they only come out with the nice weather remember??? Everytime i see him go it leaves me calculating the exact seconds to when i can see him again. The exact seconds to when ill see that sabb 9/5 pull up an see him get out smilin like he usually is when he sees me, u know the smile the one that certian person gives that makes u feel like ur the only one around for miles an miles........He gives me that feeling inside that hes the one i want to spend my time with. He makes me feel soo good, so safe when im with him. A feeling that i havent felt in so long. Something that im almost scared of but at the same time something that makes me so incrediably happy that im not sure weather i should run away or right into his strong open arms. He spent the first nite he met me telling my roomate how adorable i was an so-on but still its strange i never thought that i would feel this way ever again never thought that i would be willing to let every thing else around me fall in order to spend time with him, in order to look into his eyes an feel the way he makes me feel. Its crazy and it has me tossing an turning all nite, unless hes by my side then i sleep like a baby its funnie how that werks huh? How there can be so many people in my life that like me, that want to spend time with me, that i might give that feeling to as well, but of all of them its only one that does the same for me. Poor unsuspecting souls. Im afraid to hurt others but in all reality iam "just a friend" to any and all of them so i guess its just fair how that werks. Hes so beautiful. Hes soo hott. Hes so smart. And if i play my cards rite. . . hes soooo mine. Wish me luck. :op



Mood: Wishful bliss
Music: Makeover story on tlc
 
 


 
  2003.04.06  03.04
Im bak not for long


basically it goes like this.....
wednesday nite--->illegal things in legal places with old friends....worth the risk.....
thursday nite---->club. frankie was over my illegal things in legal places risk by the end of the nite....
friday nite----->drove around with no windshield wipers...
saturday nite---->did it up at the club with tha boys.......never made it to keene weather sux ass
wednesday nite---->met the hottest guy.....ummmmmyumjesseummmm....
thursday nite----->did it up crazy style with the hottie from wednesday...
friday nite---->ate wendys.....
saturday nite---->went home alone ...as opposed to wednesday nite an thursday nite when i went
home with the hottie....ummyum cant wait until tommorrow nite when hes home from drill an we can
hang out ...again..... any guy that tells me that my hair sticking out in every possible direction but the
rite one first thing in the am is cute is definatly one that ima try an keep fo sheezy. lol lol lol im out ~oNe~



Mood: tired
Music: Mtv, it sux
 
 


 
  2003.04.02  14.19
Um I love mee (for now anyhow)


So yea i jus hooked myself up with an incrediably awesome job.....im gonna be a promoter....which means im gonna get into any club i want to anywhere for freeeeeeeee any time i want to ......ummm hello so awesome..... an im so f*n excited rite now i can barley type.... next weekend, not this one cuz im goin to keene, but next weekend i get to be guest in a strech hummer to the Roxy, VIP!!!, i dont have to wait in line dont have to pay a damn thing an i get drinks all nite long for nothin... im so damn excited! I love myself. I really really love myself. This is sooo great. Im going shoppin i need a new outfit i wanna look hot................Its so great to be mee.
Anyhow jeff came over last nite he ended up staying because i wasnt about to let him drive home with all the alchol he had in his system. Seriously jeffs a big big guy hes atleast twice my 56-120lb frame at least an he had enough alchol to kill two of me last nite so he certianly wasnt goin anywhere at all last nite.....
I still hate this alone thing but with the nice weather an all ppl are starting to come out of their hibernations which is real nice....b.c i have this theroy that beautiful ppl only come out with the nice weather...and well i only hang out with beautiful ppl. Let me explain myself before i begin to sound even more superfical than i already do "beautiful" to me exists in everyone ... so when i say that i only hang out with beautiful ppl it means that everyone i hang out with is beautiful in one way or another...they all have something about them that makes them beautiful, an whatever it is that is their beauty is why i hang out with them. I have friends from just about every different aspect of life. U name it im proally friends with someone like that. I love ppl. Which is why im so EXSTATIC about this promoter thing. Go mee gomee gomee. Ok enough MJ parade. Mj is my real name. Someday ill tell yall.Ima let u all go before i drive u all crazy ill write more lata.....one.....lol



Mood: jubilant
Music: Hum of the hard drive...good tune..lol
 
 


 
  2003.03.31  15.22
Drivin, Drivin an more DrIvIn


So lets see ..... sat nite i guess i called crystal an talked to her before she got home...dont remember...i was sleeping it was like 130 in the am..... then she came home with dave an tiffy an i wus suddenly awaken by a crazy shakin feeling an pressure on my stomach.....aparently tiffy felt the need to wake me by humping me like a crazy woman.....why couldnt they have sent dave downstairs to do that?????(dave=yum!) Which ment at 2 am i was driving to saugus to see badboybill spin (an desil boy) yet when we got there yea they had both canceled. WTF!! We went in anyway an stayed till like 6am then of course i drove home an went to beddy bye man was i tired.....Sunday i went over to hang out with the mah dukes before i went to fanuiel hall for the Brian Reegan show...it was sooo funnie.....the whole nite was funnie......i had to drive ofcourse with joe, frankie, and scott all in my car....dude i dont think i ever want them all in such a small place together ever again...it was like i was running a damn daycare ..... the funniest daycare known to man.....on the way home i had to add ryan to that equation....ohmigod.....i had to drive all the way bak to manch with 4 of the funniest guys in the world in my lil saturn coop....crazy. And as if that wasnt enough driving i had to drive out to keene to drop off joe....oh my head.....



Mood: amused
Music: Nada
 
 


 
  2003.03.29  03.47
OoOoohhHH THOSE nites!!


Last nite what a nite what a nite. i worked like usual then went home an let frankie finish off the bottle of cicilone while i got ready for the club...we went to the club an had such a good time its soo great to be able to walk rite to the door an not have to wait in line....an not having to pay!!! awwww yea.... The music was alright not as good as it usual is on saturday nites but still it was aight.....i had a pretty good time....had to fight off the twins one at a time of course nither one ot them will hit on me while the other is around lol that would mess up their game...lol....and for some reason frankies friends were askin me what was going on with me an him? Ummm ok.I told them we were just frends but i dunno ...... i did get kinda mad at him last nite..... i paid for his food let him finish off the alchol without asking him to share it with me......gave his friend a ride home and gave him a ride home..... and on the ride home i asked him if he wanted to hang out with us an he was like nahh i have to go home to sleep i have to open the store in the morning......then proceeds to call his friends an is like hey u guys still wanna hang out.....yea just come to my house.....yea i have to open the store in the morning......ummmmmmmhello!!!!!! he jus told me that he was gonna go home an go to sleep umm how does that work?? I was all like what the fuck so because i was mad i was like what the fuck an started driving faster b.c crys wasnt makin the situation any better because she was fighing with him sayin stupid things an i was soo annoyed at the situation that i was like grrrr i just wanted to get him home an out of my car..... well he started rubbing my shoulders (obiviously he was sitting behind me) an was all like why are u soo mad ....whell when we got out of the car i told him an he was like ehhhh hater hater....ehhhh im not hating i dont hate him an he knows that i told him that i cant hate him but i sure as hell can be mad at him.....grrrrr boys why do they have to be so damn difficult......?????? huh why?? so when i got home i felt bad for flipping out on him so i called him an was like u kno i dont hate u rite?? an he was like yea i kno ........any way i dunno i like him an i kno he likes me but still what the hell.....grrrr whatever ill talk later



Mood: moody
Music: Mtv
 
 


 
  2003.03.28  06.22
Really whell then....


So tonite is the typical thursday nite....Work.....till ten.....then off to the club...whoopie whoopie goo mee go mee!!! Cant wait to dance my behind off its gonna be awesome!! I love to dance soosoo much.....i also love music all of it any kind anytime......i think i dance in my sleep.....my roomate says i doo but how would she know she doesnt sleep im my room......hmmmm......in any case i cant wait....maybe tony will be there, an shawn, an dave mmmmmmmmdave soooo hot.....well all my boys are hot but still only some of them get an mmmmm from me.....well il guess ill write later when i have more to share with yall trust me....their will be some serious things to share by the end of my day promise......



Mood: excited
Music: court tv..so boring
 
 


 
  2003.03.27  16.53
Boys who made them so complicated anyway?


I like him soo much. But dont kno if he feels the same. I want to tell all an at the same time i want to hide it all. Some thimes i think maybe but then realize what if its not.....why isnt this easier.....why cant this be like when i was in grade school an i could have my friends find out for me....now i feel dumb doing that like i should know i shouldnt have to have someone investigate for me.........hes soo sweet to me , hes soo someone i want to actually 'waste' my time on someone im actually intrested in...for the first time since all the shit that happened with me a the doodie headed ex whos name i vowed i would never speak again, i want actually put myself out there an risk the pain of getting hurt....its good because im over it finally but its bad cuz well i remember the pain ............sigh guess ill just have to wait it out...well see. . . .



Mood: tired
Music: whatevers on mtv rite now