Blurty for hana.

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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004

Time:11:30 pm.
what the fuck??? [Mar. 16th, 2004|10:53 pm] (this is the actual date and time of the event)
[ humor | confused ]
[ musica | christina aguilera hahaha ]

Ohhhhh man today was actually.....okay...i guess. So i guess Aaron likes me? according to Jordan he's basically "inlove" with me or something...i dunno, i feel so confused, i mean i have Tarik. And i dont wanna hurt him but i mean jordan told me he does it to everyone, and he's always inlove with everyone so i mean what can you really do...nothing so i wont. I dyed my hair today, it's dark dark brown how it use to be before the pink/red/blue/purple thing happend haha, can't wait to show tarik YES! So i guess that dirty little whore angel hates me? and called me a 13 year old ooooh 13, hey slutbag i look older than you so dont talk shit bc your jealous, bc tarik doesn't like you anymore and he never did love you so i dont know what the fuck your talking about. oh well whores will be whores. well kiddos im out.

this is me and jordan's conversation about aaron

jdogg182punk: HOLA!
sExXxyhana: Hola jordan
jdogg182punk: haha whats up
sExXxyhana: not mucho, you?
jdogg182punk: nothin just getting my folders ready for the new 9 weeks
sExXxyhana: hahahahahahahahahaha
sExXxyhana: jk
sExXxyhana: im sorry
jdogg182punk: huh?
jdogg182punk: ohh man im so lost
sExXxyhana: i don tknow
jdogg182punk: lol ok
jdogg182punk: hahaha man your crazy
sExXxyhana: i know
sExXxyhana: i talked to aaron for like 3hours today!
sExXxyhana: it was crazy
jdogg182punk: i heard...he really likes you
sExXxyhana: really?
jdogg182punk: yup
sExXxyhana: thats crazy
sExXxyhana: i did not know that
jdogg182punk: welp you do know
jdogg182punk: and just an side note : any guy who talks on aim for 3 hrs. has to want something
sExXxyhana: heh
sExXxyhana: well i didn't know i just thought him saying we connect well was him being nice
sExXxyhana: im a lil slow you must remember
jdogg182punk: its otay
sExXxyhana: ya but i seriously did know that
jdogg182punk: did or didnt?
sExXxyhana: ddn't*
sExXxyhana: my bad
sExXxyhana: you can read my mind
jdogg182punk: lol ok
jdogg182punk: yea its ok
jdogg182punk: but im about to go to bed
sExXxyhana: okey
jdogg182punk: just givin you the update with aaron....expect him to ask to hang out in the near future.....its the next move in the written rule book of aaron
sExXxyhana: what
sExXxyhana: well he did
sExXxyhana: he wants to this weekend
jdogg182punk: haha nevermind
jdogg182punk: im behind
sExXxyhana: o man now i dont know what to do
sExXxyhana: o qwell
jdogg182punk: just look at your cards......(you will be aarons first dated)
sExXxyhana: i thought he liked sarah vinall too or whatever ohhh boy
jdogg182punk: date*
jdogg182punk: lol
jdogg182punk: he did but she didnt like him
jdogg182punk: so he gave up
sExXxyhana: o i see
sExXxyhana: so are you saying he's bad lol
jdogg182punk: no
jdogg182punk: im saying he is going to be all over you though
sExXxyhana: o i see
sExXxyhana: nice
sExXxyhana: i honestly didn't think he would find me attractive
sExXxyhana: man this so CRAYZY
jdogg182punk: aaron finds any girl who is his age attractive dont get me wrong
jdogg182punk: but if you got an ass he likes ya
sExXxyhana: haha
jdogg182punk: if you have a kinda big ass he is going to LOVE YOU
sExXxyhana: lol
sExXxyhana: well i'll let ya get to bed
sExXxyhana: i dont want tp hurt his felings though
jdogg182punk: umm lets just say he is extremely happy
sExXxyhana: really?
jdogg182punk: ohh dear god yes
sExXxyhana: omg this is getting weirder and weirer
sExXxyhana: i swear
jdogg182punk: aaron basically loves you cuz he has a slight chance
jdogg182punk: he already is like in love
sExXxyhana: what?
sExXxyhana: no your lying
jdogg182punk: nope
jdogg182punk: sorry to tell you but no
sExXxyhana: he's not in actually love he thinks im cute i guess
jdogg182punk: ha!!!!
sExXxyhana: he did tell me though he wished i werent taken
jdogg182punk: no no he thinks your hot...he likes you a lot.....and if you like him he is going to flip!!!
sExXxyhana: but i have a boyfriend..........thats why i dont wanna hurt him.............i feel so bad
jdogg182punk: all he has wanted for the past 2 years is a girlfriend and every night i get calls on why doesnt he have a girl right now
sExXxyhana: if i didn' have tarik i would go out with him but i eman
jdogg182punk: i know... i know
sExXxyhana: aww
sExXxyhana: i feel so awful
jdogg182punk: he does this to everyone
jdogg182punk: you could give him a whore off ridgewood and he would think she is great
jdogg182punk: and love her
sExXxyhana: lol
sExXxyhana: thats kinda sad
sExXxyhana: i mean really
jdogg182punk: i know
sExXxyhana: he's great guy though
jdogg182punk: but its true though
jdogg182punk: if you like him....he basically likes you
sExXxyhana: aww
jdogg182punk: cuz he is so desperate right now
jdogg182punk: he is going at anything he can find
sExXxyhana: awww
sExXxyhana: i should find him someone
jdogg182punk: i told him i dont want mo cuz i have christie and he was like oohhhh hook me up
jdogg182punk: so i tried
sExXxyhana: o
jdogg182punk: yea anyone!
jdogg182punk: just so i dont have to hear him cry about this anymore
sExXxyhana: aww
sExXxyhana: i feel so HORRIBLE
sExXxyhana: man
jdogg182punk: kinda mean but its been goin on for so long i just dont care anymore
jdogg182punk: i hate the annoying phone calls
sExXxyhana: o man
jdogg182punk: but no dont feel bad he does it to everyone
sExXxyhana: im sorry jordan
jdogg182punk: hahaha its ok
sExXxyhana: but still
jdogg182punk: i only thought girls cried to me on the phone but aaron did to
jdogg182punk: so meh
sExXxyhana: i would seriously go with him if i didn't have tarik
sExXxyhana: he's really great
jdogg182punk: i know you would
sExXxyhana: aww lol
jdogg182punk: he is in some ways
sExXxyhana: ya
jdogg182punk: but not to be mean......if another girl came along who was more beautiful than you in his eyes and she liked him he would probably go with her
sExXxyhana: ya
sExXxyhana: that might be good
jdogg182punk: great guy but cant handle relationships worth shit
sExXxyhana: that would be good*
sExXxyhana: yea
sExXxyhana: that does seem true
jdogg182punk: really he cant deal with his one hormones and things
sExXxyhana: like if we dated or whatever and some hot girl came along dump me go with her
jdogg182punk: just something kinda odd but he masturbated almost 2 times a day over the summer
jdogg182punk: and some days more
jdogg182punk: he said that and if you ever went over.........took like an hr. to answer the door
jdogg182punk: anyways im goin to bed lol
jdogg182punk: night
sExXxyhana: goodnight
sExXxyhana: thanks for the info
sExXxyhana: have a good sleep
jdogg182punk: i try

man o man aaron is one crazy mothafucka!
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Tuesday, May 18th, 2004

Time:1:17 pm.
Mood: irritated.
Music:shakira!! !.
hey, look at me i updated!
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Sunday, April 25th, 2004

Subject:i want to change, really i do
Time:12:04 am.
Mood: nauseated.
Music:no doubt.
Hey my lovely journal! hehehe im so funny =p. Well i guess i'll update you on what's been going on in my life since i left you. I still work at cici's, i try to go to church as much as i can, i hangout with tarik wheni can (try to with christy but it never works out) and basically try to get school done. I've been thinking alot about my life lately and what kind of person i am, or want to be, and i really want to change from what i am. I want to be different than how i am now. I want to be holier (i think thats how you spell it) i want to be more kind, i want i want. I want to start going to church more, like i use to. I mean last summer was so great, i felt great, i think i had more self esteem. I was different then. Im different now...and i don't think i like it. I feel like whenever i go to the UB church everyone stares at me, it's like i got this "bad girl" type of image..and i hate it, they all judge me of how i look or what color my hair is at times, or what clothes i wear, or because im from holly hill and i don't look like holly mode or brittany at church. Well sorry i wasn't brought up that way, or i dont dress that way. Holly mode, brittany, and i were all brought up differently..jeez sorry...Anywho, it just pisses me off and i had to get that off my shoulders. tonight was fun. I didn't wake up until 11 today. Me and tarik went to the mall and then to cici's (yes cici's) to meet up with kelly, billy, and mary, and jason. I was supossed to hangout with christy....but she was at the mall hangingout with jordan and spencer? ya i think so. So i just hungout with my boo tarik YAY!. Tarik took me to the mall tonight to get the jeans i've been looking at for months and i finally got them!! yes! i like them soo mucho they be so cute! anyways, i got my check yesterday and it was for 169.85! pretty good for two weeks..i guess. I went to the beach yesterday with my tarik, it was so FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! i was pretending to be his slow daughter and i was havin so much fun in the myself, i guess i embarassed him a lil oops, hehehehe. Then we went to his casa to watch his lil brother chad...devil aka the anti christ...well hmmm no more just a brat. THOSE NOODLES BETTER BE CUT UP! haha chad, that's one crazy kid! anyone related to tarik is crazy haha, in a good way of course. We totally watched Resident evil AHHHHHHHHH sooooooo SCARy!!!!!! ekkkkkks zomies are inSANE!!!!! i hurt my nose from that movie one of the scense scared me so bad owww. Well i guess me should get going...more lata
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Tuesday, March 30th, 2004

Time:6:21 pm.
Mood: ditzy.
Music:donde estas corazon.
Hmmmmm long time no write. I have to work tomorrow, that won't be fun, dean hates me i swear. I swear he always gives me death stares like DIE DIE its freaky too. Ohhhhhh well. I can't wait until i can find another job that's not as shitty as Cici's but for now, this will have to do. I can't wait until Tarik get's his car! yeS!! then we wont have to take the SHITTY SHITTY bus or ask for rides anymore, that will be nice. Hopefully we're going to Cornerstone (florida that is) tarik said he doesn't know yet, i hope i hope. Nothing new is happening lately same old shit different day HAHAHAHA. So i guess Angel is scared of me??? i dont know i guess i put fear into her, that could be why she was kissing my ass about all of that tarik bullshit she was saying, i don't hate her but she needs to stop trying to start shit, in which i think she'll stop....if shes sure she is :) ANYWHO i gots to go catch cha lata alligata cha cha cha
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Monday, March 8th, 2004

Time:11:40 pm.
Mood: silly.
Music:your own disaster: taking back sunday.
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah mayyyynnnnnnn.
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Thursday, February 12th, 2004

Time:10:55 pm.
Mood: stressed.
Music:the simpson's.
Today work wasn't that bad, I figured out how to do overings i think!!! YAY!! very important. Tarik came in today to see me i was so surprised almost as surprised as yesterdaY! i was so happy today and yesterday. I have a terrible cough i can't wait to get rid of it...hopefully work will be good nasty cocky horrible old people who are so mean to me. Well i hope jordan's ok, christy too i hope they work out their problems. gosh im super stressed and i have no idea why.....i guess everything? i hate right over Valentine's day =_[ o well.
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Monday, February 2nd, 2004

Subject:fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Time:12:37 am.
Mood: angry.
Music:im with you.
well today has im not saying it was good or anything but it was "alright". Saw tarik we watched that darn cat heh funny movie (if you actually watch it).. not hahaha and then went to this dumb super bowl party thing at the UB church, i swear im really starting to not like that church or any of the people in it, i suppose its the people not the church not god, god's good but the kids are wack and the teen's are stupid and depressing and the adults are like kinda mean and fucking shitty assholes. I swear i cant get away from depression i find myself slipping more and more every day wanting to do "something" about it like i have before and i think its alot caused from my mom she does stuff to cause it i know i probably sound like a brat but still, i know its bad but it does tend to help a little, and as for the people i thought were my friends... i guess i was wrong...i guess i was totally wrong. I guess all i want is for someone to be genuine (christy i know you are if anyone is it would be you boo) but i mean like people at church theyre supossed to be setting this great example and theyre not. I know im not the best girl you could find i mean i've done some stuff i regret yeah but haven't we all? and im not going around being all like look at me i am holy!! im just real im not going to try to be something im not bc i have tried to do that for too long and now im just facing it im not perfect. Well i wont go on for too long i just basically hate life at this point...i tried to quit drinking like i use to every night but lately i have really been wanting some alcohol and to get drunk, not to be cool... bc fuck, getting drunk isn't cool but just so i dont have to think about my sucky life and all of my problems....grr sometimes i just want to die i know i shouldn't talk like i'll go. goodnight

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Friday, January 30th, 2004

Subject:im so sorry my beautiful christy
Time:3:03 pm.
Mood: blank.
Music:not alone: home grown.
Well christy finally read this . . but shes sorry mo's a ho christy it will all be ok i promise. Jordan loves you not her. ttyl
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Thursday, January 8th, 2004

Time:1:35 am.
Mood: sad.
Music:dare you to move =(((.
grr some people just always try to make things so terrible in your life, for one dumb sluts (who are "inlove" with your boyfriend)o its so stupid and someone else too...its just terrible...i hate it, i mean tarik and i are fine i think i hugged him tonight and everything but he never imed me like he usually does before he goes to bed=(poor little el hanito, i hope he still "loves" me=( o well im not going to sit here and bitch about life sucking and stupid whores and mean people who suck dick...o well what caN one do?? oot

i <3 you tarik emhemed
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Tuesday, December 30th, 2003

Time:11:30 am.
Mood: cynical.
yea im going to be a big journal whorrrrrre today. wooo
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Time:11:24 am.
Mood: blah.
Music:riot grrrl: le tigre.
So today is sucky hana just wokeup feeling kind of "under the weather". this journal suxx it's horrible i hate it.....
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Monday, December 29th, 2003

Subject:o hoho
Time:4:43 pm.
Mood:sort of crazzy.
Music:hey ya: outkast.
Well today didn't do mucho but i did dye my hair yay!! this makes for a happy hana, its going to be so beautiful blue and pink oi. well nothing else happend today, hopefully i can see tarik today=( ~hana the cutest latino in the world hahahahahaha (thanks kelly)
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Blurty for hana.

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You're looking at the latest 12 entries.