survey says (by Jorge the Gaytacular Interior Designer)
here's some shit i did the other day but since blurty was down i have to do it now.
~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
1. What color are your sheets? what color is my urine?
2. What color are your bedroom walls? that depends on the color of my shit. varies day to day.
3. Do you have posters on your wall? indeed i do
4. If so of what? you
5. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? like totally
6. How many pillows are on your bed? one for every child
7. What do you normally sleep in? Karl
8. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: footsies, back door, clouds and hearts
9. What size bed do you have? Twin(s)
10. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? it can be bunked
11. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? its the red phone i tapped into the oval office
12. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? the techno of Karl's beating heart and breathing
13. Describe the last nightmare you had: OMG the po-pos totally raided my domicile
14. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? people are animals...
15. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? we can usually cram in about 12 kids
16. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? missionary
17. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? oh god yes............
18. Do you snore? ask Danny
19. How about drool? i dont usually like the taste, but it hits the spot sometimes
20. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? yeah, i call it "Warren eating potato chips in bed at 4AM"
21. What color is the carpet in your room? shit, piss and period camouflage
22. What's under your bed? whoever dies from the massive fornication ritual on every Dyer's Eve
~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~
23. Eminem: melts in your mouth, not in your hand....
24. Virgins: i like to sit back and pop one open every now and then
25. God: whoo????????????????
26. The Osbournes: isnt their daughter the one that sang "what if god was one of us?"
27. Reality TV: stop coming to my house!
28. J.Lo: J-E-L-L-O? bill cosby is da maaaaaannnnn hey hey hey
29. Religion: i got an a in dat class
30. Emo music: check out my group Wednesday Never an August
31. Valentine's Day: just another day i have to spend alone...
32. Christina Aguilera's comeback: i'll come on her back
33. Homosexuals: Karl, you lynx....growr....
34. Abortion: been there, done that (27 times...and im a guy)
35. Inter-racial relationships: got sucked into the black hole more than once
36. Murder: i like to pronounce it "whoopsies!"
37. Death: what makes mommy and daddy go away...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
38. Obesity: you know it nigga
39. Pre-marital sex: psssh
40. Terrorism: the cream in the middle of this twinkie world. hostess...thats the stuff!
41. Pornography: the children don't listen, but once you train them its not so bad.
42. Fortune tellers: tellers of fortune
43. Threesomes: lonely...not e-nuff
44. Prostitution: chuh, my occupation
45. Country music: george strait is my sk8er boi
46. George W. Bush: who dat
47. Cloning: would make my job ALOT easier
48. Britney's boobs: a little salty
49. Gas prices in America: Karl has all the gas i need
~Have You Ever....~
50. Mooned anyone? full moon...and it's still waxing.
51. Been on a diet? an all-Karl diet. 100% USDA ground chuck.
52. Been to a foreign country? Warren's Anusopolis
53. Broken a bone? ohh, yeah.....(in my mouth)
54. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? not one of my own
55. Swear at a teacher? learn me, Gert. i wanna go to school...
56. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant messages? duhh im totaly doin it rite now
57. Got in a fight? over flesh...
58. Dated a teacher? ...
59. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? i peed so hard i laughed my pants
60. Thought about killing your enemy? thought?
61. Gone skinny dipping? like Jim Morrison in his final hour?
62. Met another LJ member in the flesh? too easy
63. Told a little white lie? i told my parents a big burly black lie for 10 years
64. Told a secret you swore not to tell? never
65. where's the question? i dont understand this one
66. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? my cuntface no
67. Been on tv? does VHS count?
68. Been on the radio? yeah, and on the kitchen table, the counter, the floor........
69. Been in a mosh pit? at Barry Manilow concert
70. Been to a concert? see above
71. Dated one of your best friends? "dated" is such a strong word
72. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? in the physical sense, yes.
73. Decieved somebody close to you? no...never....who would do sucha thing?
74. Broken the law? "law is german for Karl's hymen
75. Been to a rodeo? flesh rodeo
76. Been on a talk show? Richard Karn is so hot in the sack. he has flannel sheets.
77. Been on a game show? see above.
78. Been on an airplane? mile high club member #235783992
79. Got to ride on a firetruck? ;-)
80. Came close to dying? yeah one time i almost dyed it pink but Bruce helped me see im a natural blue
81. Cheated on a bf/gf? well they knew about it, so its not really cheating. cheating is something you do in monopoly, not hardcore anal sex
82. Gave someone a piggy back ride? i dont think i need to answer that
83. Terrorized a babysitter? no, i terrorize the baby
84. Made a mud pie? made and ate one...
85. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff? who's Cliff?
86. Snuck out of the house at night? tiptoe through the tulips to give Karl, my only love, an up up and away bouquet
87. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? been so drunk i dont remember alot of things...
88. Had an eating disorder? yeah, too much cock
89. Felt like you didn't belong? being the only white man is hard
90. Felt like the 3rd wheel? see above
91. Smoked? i only smoke pole
92. Done drugs? endorphins
93. Stolen money from a poor person begging on the street? oopsies
94. Had your tonsils removed? i had to
95. Gone to camp? that's where it all started...
96. Won a bet? with my friends, even losing is winning
97. Written a love letter? in blood on Gavin's back
98. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? Karl's right here
99. Written a love poem? to Karl my darling
100. Kissed in the rain? the golden rain!
101. Slow danced with someone you love? only horizontally
102. Participated in cyber sex? no
103. Stolen a kiss? from Wal Mart
104. Asked a friend for relationship advice? hard and often
105. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? i am soooo over that
106. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? watch my sunset over your horizon
107. Gotten a speeding ticket? doing 900 in an anal zone
108. Done jail time? yeah
109. Had to wear a uniform to work? yeah but i need a new french maid outfit
110. Won a trophy? really just a gold spraypainted dildo
111. Thrown up in public? thrown down in private
112. Bowled a perfect game? if thats what you wanna call it. set em up and ill knock em down
113. Failed/got held back? the teacher often held me after class
114. Got perfect attendance in grade school? i sat behind the cutest boy in math so i couldnt miss it.
115. Roasted pumpkin seeds? my seed is everywhere
116. Taken ballet lessons? but of course!
117. Attempted suicide? my playstations broken, so yeah
118. Cut yourself? on karl's nipple hair
~Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!~
119. Pink: The only thing that keeps me from being a man is pink hair
120. Aerosmith: Pink is my favorite CRAYON
121. Madonna: my name is Mae; and that's more than a name, that's an attitude
122. Korn: i find pieces of them in my poop and subsequently karl's mouth
123. Backstreet Boys: ooh girl oooh love girl
124. The Beatles: it's been like a dog day's night and i've been working hard
125. Sublime: daddy's got a new .45...
126. J.Lo: bill cosby's voice is like chocolate puddin'
127. *Nsync: girl girl promise love girl
128. Limp Bizkit: all too common a name
129. Britney Spears: oops i did it again
130. Creed: with legs wide open
131. Enrique Iglesias: mmmmmmole moly moly moly
132. Good Charlotte: lifestyles of the bitch and the anus
133. Christina Aguilera: i'm a genie in a bottle baby come come come on in my mouth
134. Eminem: find my color
135. New Found Glory: who?
136. Kelly Clarkson: miss independent
137. Kelly Osbourne: what if god wuz 1 of us
138. Mandy Moore: oops i did it again and got caught this time
139. Eve: put a 6 after that and maybe
140. Aaliyah: dead..just the way i like it
141. Nelly: im like a bird
142. Alicia Keys: im a faggot homo who sucks at the piano
143. Incubus: take the wheel and steer my body into ecstasy Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: Pearl Jam - Alone