I am as dead now, as I'll ever be....   
03:35pm 05/08/2003
mood: exhausted
music: Systematic - Deep Colors Bleed
Hey, just thought an update was in order here. I've been pretty shitty, with not having a job, to not having any money, to not having a car. It really fucking sucks man. Well, ozzfest thursday.....I'm really looking forward to that. Finally, something fucking fun. I mean, really.....what do I do.....I wake up, smoke a cigarette, piss, talk to ceitlin, smoke another cigarette. I'm fuckin' boring! lol....Oh well......I can still wallow in my music. oooo.....I projected last night......But that's besides the point, and something I would like to talk about in a more experianced time in my life. Well....that's it.....some lyrics for the day, then some quizzes, and I'm out.


Regress - Posession - No Likeness - Impress - No virtue - In humbling
In room beyond the view you choose to tremble in. Drawn and quartered institution.
This place is set. No feeling stronger than numbing. Blankest expressions - Your calling

Hands down.....This haunts you....So dopesick.....I'll remain.....
Could never tell by the whites of their eyes......

I think your just like about 80% of the people out
there. You don't really have a purpose, you
just exist and are genrally happier then those
of us with reasons to live. Lucky.

What is the meaning of your life?
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Who said I was happy!!! I wanna be happy! No fair!!!!

While not completely ditzy and shallow, you do have
a certain tendency toward boring-ness.

How Boring Are You?
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Yay, I'm boring

You represent... anger.
You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

I think I've taken this one before....But I don't remember, so It's been taken again

Okay.....my computer's about to freeze.....So I'm done now.

(5 Shed Blood | Breed My Pain)

Elimate the right, eliminate the wrong....   
03:52am 20/07/2003
mood: sore
music: Overkill - Elimination
Hey, haven't updated in a while, but, because ceitlin yelled at me so much, I'm updating....lol...love ya cate. But anyway, I just got back from Overkill in Brooklyn. FUCKING AWESOME LIVE BAND!!!! Old, but fucking good. I got to hang around with Derrick for a while (Overkill guitarist) and he was sure to toss a guitar pick my way during their set ;-) So now I have something more to add to my concert memory collection. Weee, now songs written for Bleedapart. I don't post that shit here, I post it on Bleedapart.com, so check that shit out. Tired as fuck, asslots tomorrow.....asslots tuesday.....asslots thursday.....does it ever end. No, it doesn't. At least I finally found someone to buy my fucking extra KISS ticket. Weee KISS in august, can't wait. Okay, I should sleep now, asslots in the AM. Farewell from the gutter...

Terminal, what disease??
You told me too late, what's this cough and wheeze?
Fatal?! You're shittin' me!!!

If I had just one more day, to turn it back around, I'd eliminate the suffering...

(5 Shed Blood | Breed My Pain)

This Is Your One Chance at my One Thing....   
04:24pm 14/07/2003
mood: aggravated
music: Nothingface - Lipsdick

golden shower

Your Orgasms are Like a Golden Shower!

Wet, streaming, and totally out of control.

What Firework are Your Orgasms Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

LMFAO!!! AWESOME!!!Vampire
You are a Vampire! You are probably the offspring
of a demon and a mortal, you drain the blood
from your mortal victims. You hate sunlight and
you've no reflection. You despise crucifixes
and you love black. You are solitary and you
are driven by a thirst you can never quench, a
thirst for blood, and you despise Humans.

(Pictures in results)What Mythical Being are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Looky, I'm a female vampire, yay

click here to take more tests like this at internet junk!
what warning label are you?

Spiffy, I like being toxic

My Favorite Female Part Is:

The Ass: Soft, smooth, and perky!

Just don't remind me where food goes when you're done with it!

Find out your favorite female body part!

What did I say before? ? These quizzie things nail it

How BLACK are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

You damn rite, nigga

How MEXICAN are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

I love being white....

How WHITE are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

Bill Clinton is my idol....

Brace yourselves, many more quizzes to go

What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

Okay, big deal, I like money, doesn't everyone?!

How FAT are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

I'm a fat pig....dammit....

How DUMB are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

Yay, I'm smart

Are you RACIST?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com

I guess that's...ok?

I am the Night Stalker.

Which Serial Killer are you? Take the Serial Killer Test

I'm a night stalker, awesome

(Breed My Pain)

Machinaries of Breath....   
08:25am 13/07/2003
mood: drunk
music: Closer Than Kin - The Euphoria of Strangulation
Ahhhh, good morning world. Got nice n shitfaced last night with Tim. The mother and sister went to Atlantic City, so they had their fun, we had ours. Probably the most fun I've had in a while. I don't really even get out anymore, it sucks. Only to asslots. And Cate....sorry I didn't get to talk to ya last night.....love you :-D

(5 Shed Blood | Breed My Pain)

Kill Me With a Beat....   
01:20am 12/07/2003
mood: awake
music: Ra - On My Side
More quizzes to ease my boredom....

You would make them suffer

How would you kill someone
brought to you by Quizilla

Torture is GOOD!!!

Your soul came from the Bowels of HELL! You're a
demon preying on the mortals of Earth. BACK TO

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

B-b-b-but I dun wanna be from hell....

I'm going to Hell because I am a pervert! But shh! Don't tell anyone.
You're one of those perverts. You know what I'm
talking about.

Clean yourself up, and
get outside more! Fucker.

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh c'mon now, I'm not THAT bad....right ceitlin?!?!?! ;-)

Angry Goth
Angry Goth

What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This quizilla stuff really fucking nails it


You see the world in Black
SOAKS IN BLOOD. Well, you're angry at the
world. For reasons who knows, but you
definately hate life.
href=http://www.saradover.com>Made by

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Once again....nailed

It sounds like a whisper, it seems like a dream
It breaks and it falls, it tears at the seams,
Suppose that it happened...Suppose that it's real
Suppose that you're right, suppose it won't heal forever....
And I will be cold and tired...
And nothing will get to me....
No one will want to have it....
Longing to be set free....

If only the sun would take me....If only the wind was on my side....

(1 Shed Blood | Breed My Pain)

Vacant heart....Embodied Mind....   
01:01am 12/07/2003
mood: accomplished
music: Bleedapart - Tears of Pain
New look...yay....Finally figured out how to do this shit...Thanks Abs!!!

And so you watch me fade....
Ticking clocks, the insides rust.
I'm yearning joy and needing trust the.
Idle hands, command me to, kill everything.
And so I fade....

I cannot break this shell and I can't escape this living hell.
I close my eyes to keep me sane....

The blood I cry, my tears of pain....

(Breed My Pain)

There's No Determination....   
11:37pm 11/07/2003
mood: numb
music: Soilwork - Overload
Hello to the empty nothingness of nobody that reads my journal. Tonight I guess I had fun. Got out of the house at least. Went with myself to see Pirates of the Carribean while certain people laughed at me for being by myself. Oh well, although....Damn good movie, I might say. Had fun at least, saw 8 thousand people who think they're awesome because they hang out in front of a movie theater. But anyway. Life is so boring lately. I work ,I sleep, I go online, I play my guitar. Boring. Maybe I need to find a hobby of some sort. Idk. Biglots tomorrow, godammit. I hate work. Especially weekend, tough shit. It sucks ass holes. But at least I'm getting paid, right????

Trusting the ways of my vulnerable heart.
A million times until I get things right.
So fragile it hurts when I just fall apart.....

(Breed My Pain)

Black Blood.....Black Tears   
04:42pm 11/07/2003
mood: busy
music: Edge of Sanity - Losing Myself

You Are a Goth!

You're so gothically outrageous, and you aren't afraid to flaunt it.

Whether you dress up like Robert Smith or a tragic Little Bo Peep,

chances are that you'll be parading around with the rest of the goths at Yoyogi Park on Sunday.

Don't forget your white makeup and blue lipstick! Who knows?

You may just get picked up by one of the seedy photographers.

What's *Your* Japanese Subculture?

Yippee, I'm goth.....I guess, labels suck.

You represent... angst.
You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

Alright, I guess they have a point.

Threat rating: extremely low. You may think you can
subvert the government, but if you should try
you will be smited mightily because God likes
us best.

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who would've thought?? Awesome!!!

The Lost Soul
The Lost Soul

What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Isn't that pathetic??

(Breed My Pain)

I Have Seen You On The Edge of Dawn.....   
03:52pm 11/07/2003
mood: impressed
music: Savatage - Edge of Thorns
.....My beautiful new guitar.....It finally fucking came today. I am so fucking happy for once. It plays like all hell and it's an amazing guitar....I've decided to name him Damien.....$900 of pure Gibson Sg Voodoo Beautiful glory...

An offering of reason.....We put them all in play
A covering of treasons....That one by one we let slip away
A solitary dancer....So lost upon her stage.
I have seen you on the edge of dawn
Felt you near before you were born.
Balanced your dreams upon the edge of thorns....

""**""But I don't think about you anymore""**""

(1 Shed Blood | Breed My Pain)

And I Will Keep You Warm in Hell....   
12:46pm 11/07/2003
mood: bored
music: Alkaline Trio - Sleepyhead

How evil are you?

Pure evil.....yay.

I took the What Mythological Creature Are you? test by
peacefulchaos !

Ok, well, apparently I'm a dragon.....interesting....

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?

Such truth.....

What Video Game Character Are You? I am a Breakout Bat.I am a Breakout Bat.

I am an abstract sort of creature, who dislikes any sort of restraint. If you try to pigeonhole me, I'll break the box, and come back for more. I don't have any particular ambitions, I just drift, but I am adept at keeping life going along. What Video Game Character Are You?

Yay....I'm a bat..like...thing. wtf....I wanna die.

(Breed My Pain)

Sad sorry excuse.....   
12:34pm 11/07/2003
mood: tired
music: Alkaline Trio - Keep 'Em Coming
12 fucking pm. Too early. I should be sleeping, but I woke up, because my little boy is supposed to be coming today. Damien!!! My brand new guitar.....Gibson Sg Voodoo. $900 of pure beauty. Everybody's fucking IMing me.....I want it to stop dammit. Except for Ceitlin :-D Why does she have to be so goddamned far away?? She looks so beautiful all the damned time......and gah, i definatly love her......Yet.....she's in colorado.......Shoot me, now, please.

14 hours ahead, a head that's heavier than lead.
I've got toothpicks in my eyes, a smile more yellow than the sky
I've got a song stuck in my head, one that I miss, more than my bed
It's a song sung from a fallen milkman who's drinkin' bleach instead,
I'm much like it.
14 hours unfed, spend the last sence in my head.
Worth much less than pennies now, food for one's thoughts shared with the crowd.
I've got a painting in my head, a deeper blue, bled thicker red.
More than bloodie mary's coast to coast, I hate flying I said, that's what I said

Sad sorry excuse.....Just like everything that made her smile.
And everything I use.....I won't go back, to the way it was.

""**""Well I'm now huffin' gas and sniffin paint, to take away this buzz that I call you......""**""

(Breed My Pain)

Dream a good one tonight.....   
12:56am 11/07/2003
mood: blank
music: Alkaline Trio - All On Black
Well, looks like I've become what I love to laugh at. One of those strange losers who sits here and puts their stupid problems on display. But with the recent leave of all friends and love, what else is to be done? Well, this is my first entry, so let me introduce myself. My name is William, I'm in a band, called Bleedapart. I live alone with my mother, and I'm a straight up metalhead. Doesn't sound too bad right?? Yeah, well, fuck you. It sucks.

I put it all in back, of my mind where I hold you
I'm just trying to keep track, how far back it really goes.
And I'm living in lack, of the blood sent from the heavens,
I'm just tryin' to relax, as the killer's waiting right outside my door

What's black and white was....red all over.
this tired book, this.....organ donor

Sweet blasphemy my giving tree it hasn't rained in years.
I bring to you this sacrificial offering, of virgin ears.
Leave it to me, I remain free from all the comforts of home....

""**""And where that is I'm pleased as pissed to say....I'll never really know""**""

(Breed My Pain)