| I am as dead now, as I'll ever be.... |
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| 03:35pm 05/08/2003 |
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mood:  exhausted music: Systematic - Deep Colors Bleed
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Hey, just thought an update was in order here. I've been pretty shitty, with not having a job, to not having any money, to not having a car. It really fucking sucks man. Well, ozzfest thursday.....I'm really looking forward to that. Finally, something fucking fun. I mean, really.....what do I do.....I wake up, smoke a cigarette, piss, talk to ceitlin, smoke another cigarette. I'm fuckin' boring! lol....Oh well......I can still wallow in my music. oooo.....I projected last night......But that's besides the point, and something I would like to talk about in a more experianced time in my life. Well....that's it.....some lyrics for the day, then some quizzes, and I'm out. >-+--+-<
Regress - Posession - No Likeness - Impress - No virtue - In humbling In room beyond the view you choose to tremble in. Drawn and quartered institution. This place is set. No feeling stronger than numbing. Blankest expressions - Your calling
Hands down.....This haunts you....So dopesick.....I'll remain..... Could never tell by the whites of their eyes......
I think your just like about 80% of the people out there. You don't really have a purpose, you just exist and are genrally happier then those of us with reasons to live. Lucky.
What is the meaning of your life? brought to you by Quizilla
Who said I was happy!!! I wanna be happy! No fair!!!!
While not completely ditzy and shallow, you do have a certain tendency toward boring-ness.
How Boring Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Yay, I'm boring
 You represent... anger. Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to... freak out easily. Overly emotional about everything, you're most prone to bouts of cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be afraid of the fact that you explode so easily, but at least you're honest... even if you're honest about not liking anything.
What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla
I think I've taken this one before....But I don't remember, so It's been taken again
Okay.....my computer's about to freeze.....So I'm done now. |
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| Elimate the right, eliminate the wrong.... |
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| 03:52am 20/07/2003 |
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mood:  sore music: Overkill - Elimination
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Hey, haven't updated in a while, but, because ceitlin yelled at me so much, I'm updating....lol...love ya cate. But anyway, I just got back from Overkill in Brooklyn. FUCKING AWESOME LIVE BAND!!!! Old, but fucking good. I got to hang around with Derrick for a while (Overkill guitarist) and he was sure to toss a guitar pick my way during their set ;-) So now I have something more to add to my concert memory collection. Weee, now songs written for Bleedapart. I don't post that shit here, I post it on Bleedapart.com, so check that shit out. Tired as fuck, asslots tomorrow.....asslots tuesday.....asslots thursday.....does it ever end. No, it doesn't. At least I finally found someone to buy my fucking extra KISS ticket. Weee KISS in august, can't wait. Okay, I should sleep now, asslots in the AM. Farewell from the gutter...
Terminal, what disease?? You told me too late, what's this cough and wheeze? Fatal?! You're shittin' me!!!
If I had just one more day, to turn it back around, I'd eliminate the suffering... |
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| This Is Your One Chance at my One Thing.... |
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| 04:24pm 14/07/2003 |
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mood:  aggravated music: Nothingface - Lipsdick
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Quizzes.....joy.
LMFAO!!! AWESOME!!! You are a Vampire! You are probably the offspring of a demon and a mortal, you drain the blood from your mortal victims. You hate sunlight and you've no reflection. You despise crucifixes and you love black. You are solitary and you are driven by a thirst you can never quench, a thirst for blood, and you despise Humans.
(Pictures in results)What Mythical Being are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Looky, I'm a female vampire, yay
 what warning label are you?
Spiffy, I like being toxic
What did I say before? ? These quizzie things nail it

How BLACK are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
You damn rite, nigga

How MEXICAN are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
I love being white....

How WHITE are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
Bill Clinton is my idol....
Brace yourselves, many more quizzes to go

What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
Okay, big deal, I like money, doesn't everyone?!

How FAT are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
I'm a fat pig....dammit....

How DUMB are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
Yay, I'm smart

Are you RACIST?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
I guess that's...ok?
I am the Night Stalker.

Which Serial Killer are you? Take the Serial Killer Test
I'm a night stalker, awesome |
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| Machinaries of Breath.... |
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| 08:25am 13/07/2003 |
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mood:  drunk music: Closer Than Kin - The Euphoria of Strangulation
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Ahhhh, good morning world. Got nice n shitfaced last night with Tim. The mother and sister went to Atlantic City, so they had their fun, we had ours. Probably the most fun I've had in a while. I don't really even get out anymore, it sucks. Only to asslots. And Cate....sorry I didn't get to talk to ya last night.....love you :-D |
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| Vacant heart....Embodied Mind.... |
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| 01:01am 12/07/2003 |
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mood:  accomplished music: Bleedapart - Tears of Pain
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New look...yay....Finally figured out how to do this shit...Thanks Abs!!!
And so you watch me fade.... Ticking clocks, the insides rust. I'm yearning joy and needing trust the. Idle hands, command me to, kill everything. And so I fade....
I cannot break this shell and I can't escape this living hell. I close my eyes to keep me sane....
The blood I cry, my tears of pain.... |
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| There's No Determination.... |
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| 11:37pm 11/07/2003 |
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mood:  numb music: Soilwork - Overload
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Hello to the empty nothingness of nobody that reads my journal. Tonight I guess I had fun. Got out of the house at least. Went with myself to see Pirates of the Carribean while certain people laughed at me for being by myself. Oh well, although....Damn good movie, I might say. Had fun at least, saw 8 thousand people who think they're awesome because they hang out in front of a movie theater. But anyway. Life is so boring lately. I work ,I sleep, I go online, I play my guitar. Boring. Maybe I need to find a hobby of some sort. Idk. Biglots tomorrow, godammit. I hate work. Especially weekend, tough shit. It sucks ass holes. But at least I'm getting paid, right????
Trusting the ways of my vulnerable heart. A million times until I get things right. So fragile it hurts when I just fall apart..... |
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| Black Blood.....Black Tears |
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| 04:42pm 11/07/2003 |
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mood:  busy music: Edge of Sanity - Losing Myself
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 You Are a Goth!You're so gothically outrageous, and you aren't afraid to flaunt it. Whether you dress up like Robert Smith or a tragic Little Bo Peep, chances are that you'll be parading around with the rest of the goths at Yoyogi Park on Sunday. Don't forget your white makeup and blue lipstick! Who knows? You may just get picked up by one of the seedy photographers. What's *Your* Japanese Subculture?
Yippee, I'm goth.....I guess, labels suck.
 You represent... angst. You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about everything. It's okay to sulk and be depressed, but life is short, and you only get one. It's only what you make it, and only you can make it improve.
What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla
Alright, I guess they have a point.
 Threat rating: extremely low. You may think you can subvert the government, but if you should try you will be smited mightily because God likes us best.
What threat to the Bush administration are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Who would've thought?? Awesome!!!
 The Lost Soul
What sign of the Black Zodiac are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Isn't that pathetic?? |
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| I Have Seen You On The Edge of Dawn..... |
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| 03:52pm 11/07/2003 |
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mood:  impressed music: Savatage - Edge of Thorns
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.....My beautiful new guitar.....It finally fucking came today. I am so fucking happy for once. It plays like all hell and it's an amazing guitar....I've decided to name him Damien.....$900 of pure Gibson Sg Voodoo Beautiful glory...
An offering of reason.....We put them all in play A covering of treasons....That one by one we let slip away A solitary dancer....So lost upon her stage. I have seen you on the edge of dawn Felt you near before you were born. Balanced your dreams upon the edge of thorns....
""**""But I don't think about you anymore""**"" |
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| Sad sorry excuse..... |
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| 12:34pm 11/07/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: Alkaline Trio - Keep 'Em Coming
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12 fucking pm. Too early. I should be sleeping, but I woke up, because my little boy is supposed to be coming today. Damien!!! My brand new guitar.....Gibson Sg Voodoo. $900 of pure beauty. Everybody's fucking IMing me.....I want it to stop dammit. Except for Ceitlin :-D Why does she have to be so goddamned far away?? She looks so beautiful all the damned time......and gah, i definatly love her......Yet.....she's in colorado.......Shoot me, now, please.
14 hours ahead, a head that's heavier than lead. I've got toothpicks in my eyes, a smile more yellow than the sky I've got a song stuck in my head, one that I miss, more than my bed It's a song sung from a fallen milkman who's drinkin' bleach instead, I'm much like it. 14 hours unfed, spend the last sence in my head. Worth much less than pennies now, food for one's thoughts shared with the crowd. I've got a painting in my head, a deeper blue, bled thicker red. More than bloodie mary's coast to coast, I hate flying I said, that's what I said
Sad sorry excuse.....Just like everything that made her smile. And everything I use.....I won't go back, to the way it was.
""**""Well I'm now huffin' gas and sniffin paint, to take away this buzz that I call you......""**"" |
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| Dream a good one tonight..... |
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| 12:56am 11/07/2003 |
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mood:  blank music: Alkaline Trio - All On Black
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Well, looks like I've become what I love to laugh at. One of those strange losers who sits here and puts their stupid problems on display. But with the recent leave of all friends and love, what else is to be done? Well, this is my first entry, so let me introduce myself. My name is William, I'm in a band, called Bleedapart. I live alone with my mother, and I'm a straight up metalhead. Doesn't sound too bad right?? Yeah, well, fuck you. It sucks.
I put it all in back, of my mind where I hold you I'm just trying to keep track, how far back it really goes. And I'm living in lack, of the blood sent from the heavens, I'm just tryin' to relax, as the killer's waiting right outside my door
What's black and white was....red all over. this tired book, this.....organ donor
Sweet blasphemy my giving tree it hasn't rained in years. I bring to you this sacrificial offering, of virgin ears. Leave it to me, I remain free from all the comforts of home.... ""**""And where that is I'm pleased as pissed to say....I'll never really know""**"" |
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