jade's Blurty

keepin' up with it.
Food and workout stuff
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Ugh. I haaaave to start drinking more water. I'm seriously dehydrated, and it's annoying. I'm also annoyed because there are a ziilllllion sales on cute, adorable clothes for non-pregnant people, and I WANT THEM. I miss feeling cute and little. I miss buying cute clothes, and NO, maternity clothes aren't cute. It is very hard to feel cute when you are mega large, and the heat is getting to you, and you feel like a hot, sweaty pig. (seriously, extra weight + hormonal heat sensitivity + extra blood flow+ July heat=grossness) I also want to buy all sorts of fabulous skin-care products, but all the good ones have all sorts of things (retinoids, salicylic acid, hyllauronic spheres and whatever, etc.) that prego people aren't supposed to use, so I'm banned from all of that too. I feel like I have been pregnant forever, and I still have about 3 months left. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable. I feel like I'm inhabiting someone else's body entirely. I would like a baked brie and a glass of wine. I miss sushi..if I eat cooked sushi one more time while trying to convince myself that it's the same, I will scream. It...is...not...the...same. I want to reclaim my clothes, most of which seem like an art exhibit: dusty and untouchable.

I already feel so big, and I just keep wondering how much bigger I'm going to get!

I want to go on a diet and workout like crazy. Summer is soooo....motivating. I'm ready to go, but unable to go. I feel like I'm sitting in a Ferari with no gasoline. Boooo.

I'm saving my money though. I'm setting aside a bit every paycheck for one of two things: either a cardio machine or the world's biggest shopping spree for post delivery awesomeness. I'm honestly hoping for the former. I'm hoping I can get a treadmill, put it in the bedroom, and walk, walk, walk. I figure the basinette will be right there, and if I want, I could even put her in the baby bjorn while I walk on the treadmill for like 7 hours a day. Perfect! *sigh*

Of course, this whole treadmill fantasy will only pan out if we actually close on this house that we've been trying to buy for like....ever. I'm getting nervous. If everything keeps getting delayed, the deal may fall through, because the seller's purchase of her new house is contingent on her selling us her house, and the bank and SONYMA are just being evil. And then there's also the whole baby thing. I don't want to have to be moving when I'm huge and tired, and I need to get in the house to get the nursery together and....ugh. I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to think about where we're going to put all that baby stuff in our already crowded one bedroom apartment.

I'm also starting to get nervous about the whole ...labor...delivery....taking care of an infant thing. It's actually kinda scary. I have zero patience, and my experience with infants is....limited at best. That's actually a pretty positive way of spinning it. = / It just all seems so...daunting, exhausting, consuming, and intimidating. I mean, I know people have been rearing children forever, but....I'm getting a wee bit nervous here.

I feel like I have all this...planning to do. I am supposed to schedule and attend lamaze and child birth classes and dog training classes, and I just feel like my brain is made of oatmeal. Wooo hoooo pregnancy brain fog. I think I need a personal assistant. Seriously.

D is super sweet and nice and awesome though. Seriously, he's amazing, and he's been wonderful throughout all of it, and he'll be the cutest dad ever. It's just me I'm worried about.

Current Mood: okay