| 1:36p |
Ick.
Ok. So, I'm going to give the unvarnished truth here, because no one told me, and because I find it to be annoying.
In addition to nausea and weight gain and overwhelming fatigue, pregnancy also causes burping, flatulence, constipation, and heart burn. Indignity! Obviously I can't drink or eat sushi or undercooked meat or soft cheese or buy cute clothes or take motrin or take hot baths or workout strenuously or use 80% of skin products on the market....All that was left for me was my one cup of coffee, and now I don't even have that because now my stomach is burning, and I feel even grosser.
With the five pounds I've gained and with all the bloating and the above-listed wonders, I feel like the most disgusting, vile creature to ever walk the earth. I just want to hide in my house for the next several months and emerge when this is over.
I want to feel cute, and I want to go home.
I just can't do this today. I can't be here pretending to do something when I'm doing nothing. There is nothing to do today, and I don't feel like making things up. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm about to vom. My stomach burns. I want to go home.
I want to buy a million dollars worth of expensive cosmetics I can't afford. I want to have a skinny day. I want to go home, put on yoga pants and a t shirt, cuddle in bed with my dog, and read a book, and that is exactly what I intend to do....as soon as those jerks at the computer help desk finally reset my password to "Assembly," which is what they always reset it to...so that I can complete my fucking time sheet so the secretary will leave me alone....seriously, how long can it take to do that? Also, why can't I reset my password, and why does it expire every month? |