| 11:44a |
monday....
Monday finds me in Albany. Ahhhhhhh...*sigh of relief*
I have class today, and I'm not too mmmrry about it for once.
I'm glad to be home, and I'm tiiiiired.
I can't wait for tomorrow, because after five, I'm not doing anything at all!
I just found out that one of the jobs that I almost got last year is going to be available again. Hmmmmmm.....*raises eyebrow* I need to follow up about that ap. I submitted like two weeks ago.
This weekend was super bad food-wise. Not a fruit, vegetable, or whole grain in sight! Of course I didn't get to work out at all, except for about 20 minutes of pilates and yoga that I snuck in out of pure desparation.The weekend was alright otherwise, except that I find being around his family every day to be somewhat exhausting because I feel like I always have to be "on." His family is super nice though.
I didn't go to that party, and not just because I felt too fat to go. Honestly, I felt like my friend didn't give a shit if I went or not, and it wasn't a party as much as it was a get together at a bar/club, and D and I would have spent like $200 each that night, and she probably wouldn't have paid us any mind anyways. Plus, we would have had to drive all the way from LI, then there's the whole drinking and driving thing, or we would have needed somewhere to stay over night, and blah, blah, blah...and she wouldn't have cared. And we were broke. And I felt fat. And I was tired. Sooooo we didn't go.
Apparently we are doing better on money than we thought, so I was able to keep this paycheck and pay down that card I was worried about, and I had some money left over, so....I shopped. I got a tailored light blue oxford, a black silk trendy top, a light grey merino V neck, a light grey short sleeve merino cowl neck sweater, and a tannish flannel/wool A-line skirt...all 50% off, and I have the money to pay for it, so it's OKAY!
I started taking green tea pills again. I figured the metabolic boost might make the difference, and I'm all about little things that make big differences.
I can fit into my size 2s and my big 0s, but they're too snug for my liking. Getting into the clothes is not enough for me. If my clothes feel tight, I feel like everyone else is looking at my fat, and I can't deal. Plus, I associate the feeling of tightness as fatness, which just freaks me out. My hip bones were popping out a bit this morning, and that is a good sign. Hopefully all the period bloat is gone, and I'll start losing throughout the region, and I'll be back down to my old size in no time. I'm starting to feel more toned, so now it's just a matter of shrinkage!
Today:
Calories: 1274, Fat: 27g (21%), Carbs: 133 g (35%), Fiber: 31g, Protein: 130g (44%)
Bfat: low fat cottage cheese (1/2 cup)
Lunch: veggie pattie and diet wrap
Snack: orange
Snack: low fat string cheese & v8
Dinner: barilla plus pasta, grilled chicken, refried bean+diced tomato+low fat cheesey sauce type thing
Today is all about mega water.
Current Mood: caffeinated
Current Music: no iPod today.. |
| 4:40p |
Really trying
I'm really working it hardcore.
Jobs:
Hoyt's office: I interviewed there last year, and I lost the job to this awesome guy who had like twenty years experience on me. Well, he's leaving...I've already called on this one. I would have a way better schedule, and I'd make more money, and classes would be easier.
WAM: Ways and Means Social services analyst..my friend there might be getting promoted, and I'd be a good candidate for her job if she left. My degree would really be an asset there, and the money would be way better, and in some ways the job would be easier.
P&C: Analyst for social services committee....I put in my resume, and I'm waiting and calling and following up. It's hard though because the boss is NEVER there, which would obviously be good if I got the job. This job is most similar to my current job, but it would be easer ( no hearings, no annual report, only one committee, no overbearing boss..) and would pay more. There are two people on the team who might get it though.
Soooo...I'm not just whining about my job to no avail; I am actively applying! I just have to try to not get so excited and let down about my job prospects when they don't work out. It would be really great to get another job though...the extra 10k or so that I'd make would make all the difference financially. It would mean being able to go out, shop, whatever, and not worry, and as much as I worry about money, that would be huge.
And now, it's time to go to class.
<3 N |