jade's Blurty

No pilates certification. I decided I didn't have the money or the time since my final exam is this week. Gah!

I figure I'll do the next class that comes through.

Dan's dad is apparently having some issues with stress and depression, and he's talking about quitting his job, which means they may not be able to help us with the wedding. Obviously that would have been too easy.

I don't want to take this final, although I'm sure I'll do well. I'm just really sick of school, and the prospect of continuing for another two years makes me want to shoot myself. In the end though, I suppose it will be worth it, and like everything else it seems, I'll remember the good and what the results were, and I will pretty much forget the process, just like high school, just like undergrad, just like pretty much everything. So I'll stick with it just for that.

Dan says he doesn't want me to lose more weight. He keeps saying that, but each time I lose weight he says I look better...how fit I am, how hot I am. I don't think he knows, but sometimes I think he suspects.

I have to lose a few more before I see everyone. The last weekend in July I think I'm going down to the city/ Long Island. I want my teensy tiny NYC friends to say I've lost weight. We may go to the beach, and I want to be tiny in my bikini. My best friend will be up the first week of August maybe, and my ex's sister and his friend's wife will be up as well, and I want them ALL to say how great I look and how much weight I've lost. I don't even know exactly why, but that doesn't change things.

I got so much sleep last night. It was amaaazing. Mmmmm sleep. I also did a facial mask, gave myself a pedi, did my eyebrows. I feel HOT. lol....I've been trying to take care of myself a little better.

I've decided to take my iron pills two or three days a week. I don't think I need them every day anymore, but since I never eat red meat, it would probably be a good idea to take them sometimes. I'm staying on top of my multi, b's, and calc +d as well. It's strange to take so many pills. It's like being sick, except in reverse.

Current Mood: determined