this is what i've waited for.

  & Now
  & the coffee shop behind it all
  & cappuccino
  & expresso
  & morning coffee
  & croissants
  & discarded grinds

/& 57th Street

places to go

  & dailycandy
  & page six
  & magnets
  & chanel
  & berlin wall
  & fraggles
  & trixie + peanut
  & maddox
  & fluoescent
  & neopets
  & 5,000,000,000
  & smoking gun
  & death cab
  & nice guys
  & thursday
  & phone numbers
  & growabrain
  & wholefoods
  & NYSD
  & newyorker
  & papermag
  & urban outfitters
  & third eye blind
  & ted leo
  & brand new
  & soco
  & fuse
  & mini coopers
  & nirvana


  & email:
  & yahoo:
  & aim: live from soho, sneckersindebt


hello. I am Holly, a sad-but-kind-of-pretty girl. I'm 14.7 years, I love Bloomingdales and newyorkcity-related things. SECONDCUP is a coffee shop in Montreal. they have excellent cappucino on cold days. I am a freshman at BerlinHighSchool, and am in marching band and drama club, basically the only reasons I go to school. =) I do not watch much television nor listen to the radio, but I listen to Country 92.5 because i'm weird like that, and watch Sex&TheCity and Will&Grace on television, + hockey inseason. I love Boston Bruins hockey, shopping, shoes, books, coffee, photography, collecting all those snapple caps, as well as stealing sweet&low from local restaurants.


Wanting cold weather to come soon, soy milk, whole foods stores, The Body Shop Coconut Lip Butter, White&Green Tea, reading my horoscope, being angry at my iPod, Citizens of Humanity Jeans, Ella Moss shirts, Isabella Fiore handbags, Death Cab For Cutie, GUSTER, old New Found Glory, anti-toxin diets, sleeping only when necessary, Kashi cereal with Vanilla Soymilk, Stila Eye Concealer and Tint, NARS Blush, Philosophy Lotions, Chanel Eye Tonic, Burberry Brit, Fruit2Oh, trying to be vegan but sortof failing.

/& LAST:

  • book: Balzac
  • rented: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
  • dvd: Love Actually
  • album: Death Cab; The Photo Album

    /& NEEDS TO:

  • get a new cell phone!
  • go to Barnes&Noble, buy books, drink coffee
  • meet new people
  • stop hating people so much
  • stop talking in Spanglish
  • sort out my life a little more
  • stop eating so much sugar
  • decide on a college
  • indepently study french

    i like toast.  pink duckie! =)  lucky charms are tasty.  yay. confetti! =D  blue star!  red star!  

    translate stuff

  • Monday, December 6th, 2004
    10:04 pm
    it's fun
    spilling secrets, that is.
    isn't it?
    i think it is.
    his tongue holds

    2  think coffee is good | !!!

    Sunday, December 5th, 2004
    10:17 pm - odd.
    In the past few seconds I had a weird forrunning inside me that told me to go to to look for my news article for W&P instead of, or, etc. It was almost like my fingers moved to the keys while in my head I was thinking, 'u-s-a-t-o-d-a-y-dot-c-o-m'. Hmm.


    1:56 am
    You know what? It's bloody late (or early). I'm bloody tired.
    But all I can seem to do is think about this one person.


    Saturday, December 4th, 2004
    12:10 am - Vermont.
    Do you remember? (you, hopefully know who you are, if you are indeed reading this.)

    Remember when we walked around the park thing and the Faeries? (Pagans!)
    And then we played tennis, or tried to. Then it rained like mad and started thundering and lightning in the sky and we kept playing, and screamed out the names of the people we truely loved at the top of our lungs during that great downpour? And it made us feel crazy and drunk and high although we weren't any of those but the first. And then we realized that we both really sucked at tennis (not that we didn't know already), and had to keep checking to make sure my phone was staying somewhat dry even though your hoodie was already past drenched. You know what?


    current mood: happier.
    current music: Spectacular Views//Rilo Kiley


    Thursday, November 25th, 2004
    9:46 pm - Pre-Holiday Shopping
    I find it no better a day to make my holiday wishlist then today, seeing as tomorrow is the official start of the Christmas shopping season.
    A few things that I absolutely love:

  • Novacheck PJs! Hmm. I do believe I like the pink ones better.

  • Adorable kate spade! The black one, of course. I've been needing a black hangbag for ages.

  • Little Pucci Scarf. Gahh. Am getting tired of asking for one. If I don't get one this year I think I might just go out and buy one myself.

  • Sephora Gift Cards, $25+ Any amount would be just fine, thankyou. =)

  • Anything Holiday-Scented by PHILOSOPHY I ♥ their shower gels & lotions, they smell sooo good. Especially the Gingerbread & Pina Colada! *drool

  • Urban Decay's Pistol Fragrance.

  • I do believe thats all for now.
    Will maybe add things later if feel like doing so.
    But now am tired.

    current mood: contenta.
    current music: Everyone//Socialburn


    Monday, November 22nd, 2004
    11:47 pm
    I love winter.

    current mood: tired.
    current music: Everyone//Socialburn


    8:14 pm
    I hate Spanish. 78! On a test. Test! Time to do a billion extra credit homework things.
    If I were only in Spanish 1 (like the rest of my freshman class) than I would so be getting the highest grade en el clase.

    In Algebra I wrote the world problems in my notebook en espanol por que muy aburrida en el clase y es muy facil.

    I ate soup for dinner because family was eating hamburgers.
    Was happy because my mum asked me first if I wanted something else, I didn't have to plead on my part.
    I ate organic, low-sodium soup.
    I put salt and cheese in it because I have no taste buds right now.
    That's some real low-sodium soup for yah there. Salt and cheese.

    today was better.
    but still has the awfulness suspended in the distance.


    Sunday, November 21st, 2004
    5:10 pm - horrid.
    Dearest Today,

    I'm writing you on account of how completely terrible you've been to me. I thought I was always being nice and appreciative of you, but apparently not enough for your satisfaction and therefore I am deeply sorry. But why, today? Why? Why must you take my somewhat-decent day and turn it into the worst day I can remember in 5 years? (I only say 5 years because I don't remember anything beyond that too well, although I'm sure that this might be the worst day in 14.7 years.) Yes, yes, I suppose that I brought it upon myself. I knew there were going to be happy couples there. Happy people holding hands and sitting on couches together for hours, just sitting. I knew it. I went anyway to the last place on earth I would ever want to be. I just didn't expect him to be part of a happy couple, you see? I didn't expect him to come, even. Not in the least. It wouldn't of bothered me if he ignored me like he did, but wasn't part of a happy couple. But the hc thing is a big part.
    I hate happy couples. Only because they represent something I don't think i'll ever be able to be a part of. Why? I suck at relationships. I suck at life.
    If I had normal clothes, and a normal car, and a less-than-stellar room, I would not be able to live.
    I have just realized how much my life sucks.
    That the balance of everything lies in the outcome of the thoughts and actions of but one person.
    Who doesn't

    With Most Sincerity and No Regret in Writing This,
    the girl who used to like you and her life but really doesn't at the moment and wants to go buy shoes.

    current mood: shitty.
    current music: Shimmer//Fuel


    Saturday, November 20th, 2004
    12:02 am
    and we lie at 3am on a bed that was never made.
    not quite awake, not quite conscious.
    listening to the same four chords
    broadcast live
    & newyork city.

    current mood: tiredddd.
    current music: Across the Universe//Rufus Wainwright


    Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
    10:46 pm - reminders to self.
    You know what's the worse thing? Last night (or possibly a few nights ago, can't be sure) I had a dream that I got a 50 in both Algebra & Spanish. A 50! I know why I had the odd dream though, I got back a Spanish quiz that I recieved a 70 on, and an Algebra quiz that I DIDN'T GET TO FINISH so I only got a 68. Fucking 68. (Everything I did get to finish was correct, by the way.) Also, am quite scared of what I am to recieve on the project for Scannell, because I'm not really sure if he believes that Amy and I spent 6 hours on the baking, and my papers aren't exactly an entire page long. Ergh. My notes are v. good though, but I doubt that it will make much a difference.

    On another note, this is me typing out a reminder to myself to remind my mum later tonight to give me money so I can buy tickets for STAGE DOOR for them from Sarah.

    Several Other Reminders to Self:
    -Stop eating candycorn because it is making us sick, giving us these awful sore throats and such. If you feel the desire to eat anything of the candycorn nature within the next month, do throw it out your window or pour dishwashing detergent onto it.
    -Am to drink 4 cups of tea tomorrow, at the least. The tea is to be in this order: White, Dandelion, Chamomile, White. Repeat if necessary.
    -Heed: De-Tox starts tomorrow.

    Think that will be all that I need to remind myself of.
    Now, to continue in my procrastination of writing my essays for Great Expectations.

    current mood: chipper
    current music: Hanging on for Hope//The New Amsterdams

    2  think coffee is good | !!!

    Sunday, November 14th, 2004
    11:49 pm - why am I doing this again?
    random thing. )

    what a wonderful waste of time!

    current mood: tired.
    current music: Poison in the Ink//The New Amsterdams

    1  think coffee is good | !!!

    8:55 pm - 4 Hours.
    Today for four hours Amy & I baked a medley of cookies, frosted them; and a cake, which was also frosted. The cake is entirely animal friendly and organic, which makes me happy. The cookies are made from a stick of sugar cookie dough that we flattened out and cut out in shapes of things that relate to the book 'The Snow Goose,' which I have not yet read or done any of the papers even though the report is due tomorrow. Lovely.

    Then we made crumpets!

    Accomplishments of today:
  • Succesfully made cake & cookes & crumpets, as well as frosting for the afformentioned.

  • Took a shower in under 35 minutes!! (13 to be exact.)

  • Managed to get a good amount of sleep, albeit having gone to sleep around 3.15a this morning. (9 hours of sleep!)

  • Hey, I think thats pretty good for it being a Sunday.

    But now I have to sit down, type notes, read book, and type 2 one-page essays.
    What fun!

    current mood: strangely fine.
    current music: Two Points For Honesty//Guster


    1:32 am - 'Twas a good day indeed.
    Yes Today, you were lovely as well. Sleeping 'til 11.00a, not having to eat breakfast, going off to pick up my dad's new Cadillac SRX (with a sunroof that covers 2/3 the roof, XM radio, and this super-cool nav system), eating chicken chili & rice pudding for lunch, plus diet grapefruit soda & diet snapple green tea w/ lime, then getting candy at CVS thats 75% off (reeses, kitkats, mounds & 2 bags candy corn for 25 cents each), not having to eat meat for dinner and eating mac&cheese instead, getting my first issue of 'Lucky' in the mail, going to Borders with Kate at 8.30p and buying two books on French and 501 Spanish Verbs plus 'Cousin Bette' by Balzac, some tasty buttered rum coffee, not leaving until closing time at 11.00p, plus a good 3-hours catching up and stories of comparing my BHS-public-school-life to her MPS-private-school-life, and finally getting home and talking to Todd & Robert a bit, printing out things to take notes on for a project that is due on Monday for a book I haven't yet read and a cake that I haven't yet baked and am somehow not at all worried about at all, and listening to The Decemberists at 1.00a with a feeling of extreme peace and invincibility.

    and that, mes amis was my simply wonderful day.

    current mood: great.
    current music: California One/Youth And Beauty Brigade//The Decemberists


    Friday, November 12th, 2004
    11:24 pm - snow.
    loverly, loverly day today.

    well, yes & no. today started off ugly and terrible.
    I had to wake up at 5.30a to type my article for World&People and I was tired as hell. made some Tazo 'Awake' tea, ate some bread with non-gmo soy butter (hahaha) and made up lies about how Islam radicalism somehow relates to our study of Buddhism and Hinduism.
    arrived at school around 7.20a (because people can't drive properly in the morning), which gave me only 5 minutes to bring my stuff to the band room, drop it off, go to my locker and take out my Spanish things, and run off to Spanish. it's needless to say that didn't happen. when I came to the band room, it was locked so Nieman 'nominated' Matt to go 'round and open the door from the right side. when he was en route to leaving, the 2-minute bell rang, and then soon after the late bell. luckily, Lamson gave us passes. went to Spanish, got back a fucking 70 on a test. but, am not quite worried as recieved a 64 on that test last marking period and somehow managed to pull off a 80 on my Q1 report card. hmm.
    went to Algebra, took a really easy test but didn't finish 5 problems because we have shorter classes today, and she bloody won't let me come back to finish it! fuck. am going to fail Algebra now. ugh.
    rest of classes were normal, Amy took pictures of things in English with my new camera phone (!) that I got yesterday, as I switched service from Cingular to Verizon, which rocks because now I can actually call people from certain parts of my house. not all, but some. see, I live in the middle of nowhere, and the only way i'd ever be able to get really great service is if they were to build a tower in my yard. anyway.

    (nobody likes you, everyone left you, they're all out without you, having fun.)


    band was cancelled! woot woot. actually, it was an optional attendance. the 8th graders backed out because of the wonderous sleeting/hailing/snowing weather to be had today. lovely, lovely weather it was.
    Chris called me after school, asking where John was. who calls to ask if someone else is there? why not call them?
    when I arrived at mi casa, I ate a clementine, which was tasty. then I the UPS guy came with my orange Converse! woot woot. they rawk. then I went to sleep until 5.45p because I was tired. I still am, but that's beyond the point.
    woke up, ate an apple, went to the drop-in to work.
    Christine came! =D
    the co-ordinators gave us armbands that said 'Floor Monitor' or... something like that, on them. does this not remind anyone of the Holocaust? geez. the nerve!
    I called Kate around 8.00p because I haven't talked to her in about a week in a half and I felt really bad for not doing so. gave Christine a ride home so she wouldn't have to wait in the 31º weather and snowing/sleeting/hailing weather. went home, slid around on the iciness of my driveway for a bit, made tea, came here to type this. woot.

    dear today,
    you made up for your awful morning with an awesome afternoon and evening.
    thank you for not sucking.

    that girl who always tells you that you suck.
    except now.

    current mood: loverly.
    current music: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams//Green Day


    Sunday, November 7th, 2004
    9:59 pm
    more things about me that you didn't/might have/might not have known about me!

    yay! )

    current mood: doot doot doot...


    Thursday, November 4th, 2004
    11:12 pm - Thursday
    (as posted at, yet another branch of me with a dismal, late-autumn-when-the-trees-are-grey layout.)

    Went to cafe, but Amy stole my phone and went outside to talk to her bloody boyfriend for nearly an hour. This left me inside, running my finger around the rim of my coffee mug, pondering and crunching numbers in my head for what felt like years. I was the youngest one there by at least 20 years, since AJ and Carly left and Amy was outside, Robert just wasn't there. I sent him a text message asking where he was, got one back saying that he was watching 'the oc damit lol.'
    Cracks me up and pisses me off at the same time, bad grammar.
    Also, failed today as a non-sugar dieter, ate ice cream and like 4 oatmeal cookies. I was doing fine until 4.00p though! It's okay, I'll make it up for tomorrow in which am eating yogurt (sweetened with splenda) and a veggie burger and thats... it. And must remember to have tea for breakfast to cleanse self of sugar consumed today.
    Right. So, that was basically my day.
    These are my averages for Quarter One; estimates are marked with asteriks(possibly one less or higher than said number):
    English9Accel: 95*
    World&People1: 92*
    EarthScienceAccel: 95.02 (heh)
    Spanish2: 80 (eww.)
    Algebra1Accel: 90* (eww.)
    Band: 95
    Gym: 95

    ehm. well, aside from my revolting Spanish & Algebra grades, all is relatively fine. Algebra grade will be elevated for GPA though, as is accelerated. Other accelerated classes will be too, but does not matter as have 95 in those classes already. Heh, is rather amusing how am passing accelerated classes better than non-accelerated classes (i.e: world, spanish). Hmm, come to think of it, Spanish2 sort-of is an accelerated class, although does not count as one; most freshman are only in Spanish1. gah. fucking 80 though. did I already rant on about this? Think might have...

    Seriously need to go study for English test tomorrow and read about 574q98798542 of Great Expectations. (Yes, 'q' is a new number.)
    Predictions of grades for Quarter Two:
    English: 90 at best
    World: 95 at best. Class is way too easy to fail.
    Spanish: 93 at best! Have started doing extra credit homework things like maniac.
    Gym: 95. Class is way too easy to fail, especially since is Health class this quarter instead, NO RUNNING FOR TWO MONTHS! =D
    EarthScience: 95. Easiest class on planet.
    Band: 95. 2nd easiest class.
    Algebra: 93 at best. Finally on topic that I actually understood last year, so is complete review.

    Hmmm. Right. Need work on English though, as recieved 55 on short, simple quiz for G. Expectations that would have aced if merely had read up until chapter 21 instead of going to bed. gah. Fuck sleep. Ooh wait, tonight I had coffee and black tea, will not be tired until around 2.00a.
    Wonderous. It shall take me that long to read the rest of G. Expectations and study for Word Wealth. Mmhmm.


    current mood: not tired.
    current music: Home Life//John Mayer


    Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
    12:23 am
    to turn on tv and find out how it fares as of now?
    nooo! need to START ENGLISH HOMEWORK!

    right, so who thinks I would be different if I suddenly won the lottery?
    (outside of the fact that i'd buy myself away from this town and into the City as fast as I could and take those I love with me.)

    ugh. so while I'm sitting here not doing english, you can read some stuff about me.

    56 things that you never thought you knew. or maybe you did... )


    (strange fascination with cap locks...)

    1  think coffee is good | !!!

    Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
    9:42 pm - Freaking out.
    Bush is winning so far... 165 to 112 electorals.
    But who knows for sure?

    If Kerry wins I will surely cry and blantantly refuse to go into school tomorrow.
    Well, maybe not cry.

    Well, at least i'm too nervous to eat any more candy--have eaten like 20 pieces today. Not good for meh teeth, especially since I have to go to the orthodontist tomorrow!

    Ah, in other news, I will hopefully be going to get my new phone really soon! Not a new number though, i'm switching it to Verizon. I like my number--the first three digits are the area code of NYC--way too much for that.
    And BJD: Edge of Reason is in theatres soon! woot woot. Have just read book three times over, which is a total of 5 times read so far. Mmhmm.

    Gahhhh!! Will now proceed to freak out in shower and while doing English homework. Which should have been done by 2.00p today. But alas, it is not.

    current mood: nervous.
    current music: Worse For The Wear//The New Amsterdams


    Sunday, October 31st, 2004
    10:07 pm - Happy Halloween! =D
    Well, its Halloween. I didn't go out for trick-or-treating, but I visited my Gram's and then the home of my parent's very close friends, and my 'f-aunt' (fake-aunt) gave me a load of extra kitkats and mounds that she had left over. So, I will now eat most of them and make myself extremely ill! Yay!

    current mood: so sick, so sick...
    current music: Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect//The Decemberists

    1  think coffee is good | !!!

    Saturday, October 30th, 2004
    5:41 pm - fuuuuuuck.
    Please, remind me to remind myself that I am lactose intolerant, and if I eat more than three slices of pizza w/ CHEESE on them, I will get the most awful stomach aches in the world.
    Ugh. Stupid self. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

    current mood: ill.


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