Janushka's Pudding Pie's Blurty

I hate my life....
Where is the happy? I go through all this hell through five days of a week and then I have like two hours of happy. Its not worth it, damnit!

Downstairs I hear the lonesome strum of an old guitar, in the hands of an middle aged woman. Her fingers are calloused from years of playing her heart out, and the wrinkles on her forgotten face express what life has taken her through. The song she plays is powerful, and deep. Profound, and motivating. Her blue eyes moisten, and she seals her eyes shut, as if sealing her emotions inside of her. Alone she sits, in a corner on a cold hard wooden stool, while the lights and laughter of the merry people swirl around her. The gayous laughing of the Latin people puts a smile to her face. A young woman sits next to her, and gazes up in admiration. Little does she know, this is to be the senoritas fate....

Sorry, jsut felt a surge of writing come upon me. It did happen though....like, ten minutes ago, except for the fate part. I want to learn to play guitar so badly. That, and speak Spanish fluently. Those are my dreams. I yearn for it more than anything in the world. More than love, more than friendship, more than companionship.....

My life is shit. I feel like dying. What hurts the most, is that no one can make it better. I know of no such person who can.......well, theres one person......but he jsut doesn't know it yet.....or prolly ever will.....DAMNIT.

I jsut went down again, and learned some stuff about guitars. I really really want to play, so badly. But not like the hard stuff, and the American stuff. I want the classic stuff, the good stuff.

Well, that was the highlight of my day.

Amy's right, I do pour myself out on these stupid little blurties. LOL My new friend Kira was randomnly reading blurties and she read mine. She told me that she felt like she already knew me, and was close to me. : )

I hate myself. I left my Biology book on the bus. I'm so stupid. I also lost my purse today.

I had a good time in Biology. I'm starting to like Darryl more and more each day, but nothing more than a friend. Mrs. Berry is awesome! We learned the photosynthesis song. Its funny. Heh.

Homeroom was ok. I saw Carrie, which was good. I got my report card, which was bad. You don't want to know what my grades are. My mom saw them, and started crying.

Lit was alright. I felt really disorganized, as usual.

Lunch SUCKED. Band SUCKED. Spanish SUCKED. Anthropology SUCKED. The six minutes between it and Geometry were pretty good though. I just wonder why Andrew is acting all friendly to me all of a sudden, when two weeks earlier, he hated my guts.

The bus ride home was fun, that was also good.

I couldn't reach anyone all day long except for Yari. No one loves me. : (

My blurty looks pretty cool. I just wish I knew how to make it all cool and stuff like other ppls. I asked, but no one would tell me. : (

Well, thats about it. My life sucks, and no one cares.

Love Always (even tho i know ya'll dont love me back......)

Jessica

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Tonight Not Again -- Jason Mraz