Tuesday, September 9th, 2003

Time	Event
5:57p	Sick of it! Yeah. Ok, I'm pissed. I think this time I ain't apologizing. Nor do I think I'll give amensty. I'm kind of sick of it, you know. I mean, when I do it, its awful, and I'm a bitch. I'm a whore now. Oh, yeah, let me tell ya. I'm seriously thinking of ending this. I mean, at some times, its wonderful. But at other times, it pisses me off. If I do end it, things will change. I've always been scared of change. But not this time. I mean, maybe, later on, I'll feel better about it, and I'll keep it going. And then to say that its all in my hands? No! I'm not the one in control! Don't put that responsibility on my hands! What more do you want from me?! Besides. I miss how it was before. I miss the freedom. seamonkeyswrath: hey The15thTemplar: hi seamonkeyswrath: sup seamonkeyswrath: ? The15thTemplar: nm u? seamonkeyswrath: i'm thinking about breaking up with eric seamonkeyswrath: but if i dont, dont tell him i said this The15thTemplar: y? The15thTemplar: i wont seamonkeyswrath: well, first off, when i get all pissed off when he irritates me with the same old stuff, its hilarious. yeah, when roles are reversed, I'm the one who's wrong. I'm the one who should apologize. seamonkeyswrath: second off, the fact that he pisses me off and thinks its funny! seamonkeyswrath: third, his jokes aren't funny! yeah, its really funny when he acts all jealous and mean and evil and stuff. seamonkeyswrath: hilarious i say The15thTemplar: o seamonkeyswrath: and i have like, no freedom! seamonkeyswrath: i talk to a friend more, he gets jealous The15thTemplar: im sorry seamonkeyswrath: i talk to him more, my friend gets jealous The15thTemplar: ask for some seamonkeyswrath: its ok, its not ur fault seamonkeyswrath: not to mention he's immature The15thTemplar: yea...and? seamonkeyswrath: he lays all the responsibilty on me seamonkeyswrath: lazy ass seamonkeyswrath: half the time he treats me like royalty, the other half like crap seamonkeyswrath: then he goes and says that i'm spoiled and ask too much of him The15thTemplar: ... The15thTemplar: o seamonkeyswrath: and i'm sick of it! What more can I say? but I'll probably forgive and forget anyways, me being the person I am. I'm not a bitch, I'm not a whore. <3 Alweiz Jessica Current Mood: infuriated Current Music: FOX 5 news in background (2 Comments | Comment on this)
10:36p	Thank Yous and Goodbyes Liz. I thank you. Your kind words are helping me through this. I've been stupid, but I try not to think that way. I apologize profusely for what I've done, and I hope I haven't done anything permanent. You'll get over me, I know it. I'm no one special. One day, you'll forget all about me, and you'll be a rich millionaire with a beautiful wife, watching me on the local news channel, still single and poor. You'll be rolling in a pile of money, thinking to yourself, "Jessica...Sfintu? Name sounds familiar........*shrug* Oh well," and continue rolling while your sexy wife does to you what I didn't do at the beach. Thank you Liz. You're there when I needed you. I can't thank you enough. Thank you Jason, for cheering me up. Thank you Hugo, for putting a smile on my face. Thank you Eric, for showing me what a bitch I am. Thank you everybody else, for being you and not me. It saved you a LOT of trouble. Thank you God, for not existing in my life. Where are you??? I'm going to go, and like, do something now.....something that will get my mind off of this. Good bye. <3 Alweiz, Jessica Current Mood: distressed Current Music: You Make Me High -- Jason Mraz (2 Comments | Comment on this)

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