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Blurty for Turpentine Chaser.
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| Thursday, January 22nd, 2004 |
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Hey....I broke down to peer pressure and got myself an lj. so basically...my new journal is www.livejournal.com/users/tasteslikewater Yeah...bye. Ya'll should get one...its much easier and better to use than blurty. |
| Monday, January 5th, 2004 |
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 Your soul is bound to the Rose Petals: The Wronged. "'I've come undone and all hopes of mending me are gone because the pain took my soul. Can't you see? The only one who can put me back together again is me." The Rose Petals are associated with sorrow, reflection, and wisdom. They are governed by the goddess Persephone and their sign is The Teardrop, or Broken Love. As a Rose Petal, you are always self-reflective and may be hard on yourself. You probably have been hurt in the past by other people and can sometimes distance yourself, as a result. You don't usually let other get too close to you, but you are very good at mending your spirits back together by yourself. What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To? brought to you by Quizilla I didnt go to school today. Luckily my mom caught me last night before i got to my room, so nothing drastic happened but I did have a nervous breakdown. Yeah.....mom is gonna find me a different psychiatrist, and look into finding me some meds... I had a sonogram today.....yeah....there might be complications for me....well....I'm gonna go now cause I'm not allowed online. |
| Sunday, January 4th, 2004 |
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| I hate myself. I dont care about anything anymore. And I dont want anyone to care about me, or maybe I do want them to? Oh well, who fucking gives a shit. I'm gonna find a razor and maybe if I do enough damage my mom will send me somewhere, so I can get some time away from life. If i could just fast forward my life.....I would. Then I would be older and not have to go to school and deal with people always watching me and judging me. Maybe when I'm older I wont be depressed anymore, I might actually be happy. 5 years is too long, I want to be normal and be able to be happy and yah.....bye. |
| Saturday, January 3rd, 2004 |
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| Look out the window today. You can practically see the depression floating in the air like a fog. Everything has a slight blue-ish tint, and there are no shadows. The lack of shadows is what really gets to me. Without seeing the contrast that shadows cause....whats to say that this particular day isnt a shadow? Just one big shadow. And then all the rooms in the house are dark....because there is no light coming in through the windows. No one turns on lights during the day, so your just sitting in the dark untill the sun sets and it is safe to turn on the light. Well....the room I'm in has been invaded by family so I'll go now. bye. |
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Hmm...i like this song.... hmm..... Nothingthats whats up. I ranted to David earlier today and pissed him off, so i dont want to bitch anymore and make anyone else mad. |
| Monday, December 22nd, 2003 |
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| I think I have a hernia. My stomach really really hurts in this one spot. Ouchies. I'm gonna go try to feel better now. Bye. |
| Sunday, December 21st, 2003 |
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| Last night I saw LOTR: The Return of The King with Josh. It was really good, considering that I haven't read the books. There are 2 other movies that I really want to see; Mona Lisa Smile & Peter Pan. My life goal is to see those movies. Well, I have to get ready to go to Medieval Times now....bye. |
| Saturday, December 20th, 2003 |
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| Amazon.com is awsome, kind of. While researching authors I like and topics that interest me, I will find literally 20 other books that I really want to read while on this site. And the sad part is that I most likely wont even be able to read half of the books. Some of the books are on topics that my mother would get suspicious of if she knew about them. I wish I could just immerse myself in some books forever. Become part of the story, and live in the world that is played out in the words of the author. When I think of it tho, maybe the only reason I wish I lived in one of those books is that when the story is over....there is nothing after that. No more adventures to go on, no more pain to go through, and when it ends; no feeling of guilt. Hopefully I'll be able to get one more person to add to my application as a reference (I have a feeling that I used the wrong word right there). Maybe if I had a job at the library I would be able to read any book there that I wanted, and I wouldnt have to worry about my mom finding out and thinking that I have a problem. I have always been into books on mental disorders and depression, but lately I have really been into books on EDs...the idea of that right now fascinates me. Maybe thats because my best friend has one, or maybe because I want to learn more about it so that I can find out if I fit the profile of someone with one. I mean, now that I'm under watch so that I can't cut myself anymore (as well as not wanting to do that anymore either), the idea of punishing myself that way is very appealing. I'm very insecure about the way I look, and I have done what some may see as minor changes in the way I present myself. I don't wear ridiculously baggy shirts nor pants anymore, I wear clothes that fit me and I actually wear jeans now. Some may think that I have sold myself out by conforming to society's views on how a girl should dress, but the only way I dressed the way I did before was to not attract attention to myself. But by being different than other people I was attracting attention, so I figure that I will sacrifice my comfort and safeness for more acceptable attire. But with this comes of the pressures of tight clothes. My current goal is to have all of the, "tight" as I refer to them, clothes that I own be too big for me. I want to get a lower pant size by at least 2 sizes. But I'm not sure if i'll be able to do that without compromising my athletic performance, or lately, lackthereof. Wow, enough rambling for me. I just needed to get a few things out, there is more I could say, especially about a very disturbing dream I had, but I'll save that for some other time. Also, the light I have on in this room and the sound of me typing could wake my mom up and have her in here to yell at me at any time. So, time for bed/watching Real World: Las Vegas on TV. I love watching other people's dramas, it gives me a break form my own. Bye. |
| Monday, December 15th, 2003 |
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What Is BDD? Those who have BDD are abnormally preoccupied with a real or imagined defect in their physical appearance. For example, they may worry endlessly that their skin is pale, their hair is too curly, their nose is too long, or something else is wrong with the way they look. When others tell them they look fine or that the flaw isn't noticeable, people with this disorder don't hear or believe it. The person with BDD may also experience periods of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts because of their preoccupation with their perceived flaw. "Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. The disorder is different from eating disorders because it involves other factors besides one's weight or body size. Physical features or attributes are what provokes the person's anxiety and negative beliefs. Those with BDD have several 'cognitive distortions' about how they look. Cognitive distortions are distorted beliefs about a perceived flaw," explains Steven Pittman, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist. Ok....I want to say I have this but....it cant be true if you seriously ARE the ugly thing you see in the mirror... |
| Sunday, December 14th, 2003 |
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SURVEY 1111111111 What time is it: 6:55pm THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR( things you can't live without) Something important on your desk:my computer? When you sleep you wear: lax Jerseys & flannel/sweatpants If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: gamecube Something you don't have a lot of: money If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: My gameboy box (has all my games/gameboys in it), My dresser (it contains my clothes, dont wanna be nude post fire), and my backpack (dont want to be behind in school) MORALS If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: alchohol? A time when you purposly hurt someone emotionally: When I got mad at David for being suicidal A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: My sister during her whole life? One person you have killed in your thoughts: Genetta FRIENDS: Three traits you look for in a friend: are interested in me, funny, and trustworthy Who makes you laugh most often: Jeremy, Amanda, and Whitney A friend who you can tell anything: Sabrina A friend you can go to for advice: Any of them The best piece of advice you had been given: Dont kill [myself] Two closest friends: Amanda &.....I dunno The friend who uses most of your energy: Sabrina EGO Your 3 best qualities: I'm semi-smart, I really like lacrosse, when I'm motivated to do something; it gets done. Your 3 worst qualities: personality, physical appearance, and lazyness Describe your Ideal self: Taller, skinnier, stronger, faster, more motivated, better skin, better sense of humor, smarter, black hair, more confidence, prettier, better fashion sense, more articulate...I can prolly think of more if I tried A comliment that makes you blush: any You are embarassed when: Anytime being singled out The greatest physical pain you ever endured: Getting the tip of my left index finger chopped off prolly, even tho I cant remember it. The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: this depression I'm going through, and realizing that Xxxx will never like me Moment you are most ashamed of: Trying out for the talent show in 3rd-ish grade Your best physical feature: I like my triceps? Who/What makes you happy: Jeremy, Lacrosse, Videogames, friends, books Who/what makes you sad: Austin, friends, grades, people, myself EMOTIONS Emotion you hide most: Right now, I've been trying to hide my depressed-ness, but it comes out in bursts The emotion you tend to experience most: depression The emotion you are feeling most lately: lack of motivation You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: my lazyness and how much I eat When you are angry you need: my gameboy When you are sentimental you need: my gameboy When you are in love you need: my gameboy MEMORIES One of your most peaceful memories: Almost anytime hanging out with Josh One of your most tragic memories: Being a MAJOR bitch to Josh on Halloween... One of you angriest memories: When Genetta said those things to me and my friend in gym, and then my other friend repeating what was said as a joke A memory that makes you laugh: lol, not being able to see the moon because of the "tree without leaves" at the mall with Jeremy and Josh a memory that makes you happy: hanging out with Josh, hanging out with Amanda, what David used to say to me when we were first getting to know eachother LOVE Something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive: Compliment me, get piercings, talk in a deep voice Something someone can say or do that you find unattractive: let themselves go, give up on themselves, be controlled by addictions, smoke, any racist/sexist comments, be extremely close minded Two things appealing about people: How everyone thinks and sees things differently, and their weaknesses A personality trait you find appealing: Intelligent humor Your secret passion: my gameboy, lol What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship: Knowing that no matter what that person still cares for you RELATING DO you have a bf/gf if yes who? no What do you find sexy about them: n/a A place where you want to have sex: I dunno...another country might be nice A strange place where you have had sex: n/a What drives you crazy (in a good way) about this person: n/a What music is on when you have sex, or is it the tv? n/a Favorite song to have sex to : n/a Describe your mate physicaly: n/a Describle your mate's personality: n/a You feel most attractive when: I'm hungry, and when complimented Favorite thing you like to see your mate wear (clothing wise don't say naked): n/a What would you like your mate to do more of: n/a FINALLY>>>>>> If you had more time alone you would: Read or play more gameboy If you had more patience you would: Read my entire collection of Poe's writings, my guide to Buddhism, a clockwork orange, and some more of Shakespear's plays If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be: my face If you had no committments what would you be doing: playing my gameboy If you could have one super power what would it be: mind powers If you could start all over.... I would SURVEY 2222 Time: 7:25 About You 1. First Name: 2. Middle Name: Brown 3. Do you like your name?: No 4. Nicknames: 5. Age: 15 6. Birthday: March 2nd 7. Where do you live?: Maryland 8. Do you like it where you live?: I guess 9. Where were you born?: Holy Cross Hospital 10. Height: 5'3 11. Do you wish you were a different height?: Yes, 5'7 Favorites 12. Food: seafood; crab or shrimp 13. Number: 4 14. Date: 1987 15. Day of the Week: Saturday 16. Day of the Year: August 11-Vacation or March 1-1st day of lax try-outs 17. Candy: starbursts 18. Ice Cream: coffee 19. Place to shop: pacsun or best buy 20. Place to shop for clothes: pacsun 21. Song: "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades" -Brand New 22. Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You 23. Band/Group: No Doubt 24. Sport: Lacrosse 25. Subject in School: World Civ. 26. Holiday: Labor Day 27. Color: Gray 28. Color of clothes to wear: gray or dark blue 29. Type of clothes to wear: sweatshirt & jeans 30. Shoes: vans....puma....airwalk 31. Fruit: Starfruit 32. Veggie: Carrots 33. Animal: Hedgehog! 34. Magazine: Teen People? 35. Game: uh....Zelda 64, Monopoly, Clue Least Faveorites 36. Food: Snack Cakes 37. Number: 1 38. Date: 1988 39. Day of the Week: Thursday 40. Day of the Year: January 27th 41. Candy: Gozetes? & any with nuts 42. Ice Cream: any with nuts 43. Place to shop: any place that doesnt sell video games or lacrosse equipment 44. Place to shop for clothes: all 45. Song: anything by Justin Timberlake 46. Movie: The Hulk 47. Band/Group: I cant name them all 48. Sport: any type of hockey 49. Subject in school: Art 50. Holiday: all 51. Color: pink 52. Color of clothes to wear: any bright colors 53. Type of clothes to wear: anything tight, revealing, basically.....everything besides sweatshirts, jeans, and long sleaved blank shirts 54. Shoes: anything I dont already wear 55. Fruit: tomatoe 56. Veggie: anything cooked 57. Animal: bugs/insects 58. Magazine: all? 59. Game: tic tak toe, anything I suck at More About You 60. Shoe size: 8 1/2 61. Hair color: Brown 62. Do you or have you ever dyed your hair?: no 63. Hair length: just below shoulder 64. Most embarrassing moment: already mentioned 65. Are you getting bored or annoyed yet?: no 66. What time is it?: 7:40 67. What do you want to be when you grow up?: I'd like to be a mom and a Physical Therapist Have you Ever... 68. Hiked a mountain?: I dont think so 69. Walked a mile?: lol, yes 70. Really walked a mile in someone elses shoes?: a mile's worth of sprinting, prolly 71. Ate a whole box of oreos?: yes... 72. Been in love?: no 73. Stayed up all night?: yes 74. Broken a bone?: not really... 75. Pulled a muscle?: no 76. Fractured something?: yes 77. Sprained something?: yes 78. Watched the show Happy Days?: yes 79. Cried because you've missed someone?: yes 80. Had a party?: birthday parties when I was younger 81. Been on a boat?: yes 82. Been on a plane?: yes 83. If you were on a plane, was it scary?: no 84. Done the chicken dance?: sadly yes....I ALWAYS HATED IT 85. Been on a train?: kinda, fake ones in theme parks 86. Ate so much chocolate and/or candy that you puked?: yeah 87. Had a food fight?: kinda, nothing major 88. Jumped on a trampoline?: yes 89. Played spin the bottle?: no 90. Been in a fist fight?: kinda 91. Been in a hospital?: yes... 92. Been in a hospital(not to visit someone but as a patient)?: yes... 93. Had a falling dream?: all the time 94. Been out of the country?: no 95. Played baseball with a bunch of friends?: yeah 96. Took a Bubble Bath?: when I was really young 97. Made a web page?: yes 98. Been in a car accident?: no 99. Driven a Car?: kinda 100. Woo hoo This is 100, how do you feel?: my forearm hurts 101. Tried smoking or drugs?: smoking when I was like...2 102. Laughed so Hard that you peed in your pants?: no 103. Lied? yes 104. Fallen asleep in class?: no 105. Played with Barbies?: yes This or That 106. Campfire or fireplace?: campfire 107. MMs or Skittles?: skittles 108. MTV or VH1?: MTV 109. Movies or Music?: Music 110. Stay up late or sleep in?: sleep in 111. Sun or Moon?: moon 112. How sick are you of this survey?: not very...but its making my forearm sore 113. What Time is it now?: 7:46 114. 10 acquaintances or 1 bestfriend?: 1 bestfriend 115. Short or Tall?: tall 116. Vanilla or chocolate?: depends, mostly vanilla, but sometimes I get cravings 117. Cat or dog?: dog 118. Newspaper or Magazine?: magazine 119. Is the glass half empty or half full?: empty 120. McDonalds or Burger King?: bk 121. Fish or Mice?: both? 123. Happy or Sad?: sad 124. Serious or funny?: funny 125. Happy or sad ending?: I like variety 126. Scary movie or Funny movie?: either 127. Scary movie or sad movie?: either 128. Funny movie or a sad movie?: either 129. Brother or sister?: brother 130. Barbie or Skipper?: ??? 131. Bikini or one piece?: one peice 132. Snow or rain?: snow 133. Candy or Fruit?: fruit 134. Plane or car?: car 135. Run or walk?: run 136. Swim or skate?: swim 137. Pepsi or Coke?: neither 138. A house in the woods or a house in the City?: depends... 139. The dark or light?: dark? 140. Rainy or Sunny?: sunny 141. Duct tape or scotch tape?: duct 142. sneakers or sandals?: sneakers 143. Lions or Tigers?: tigers 144. Mustard or ketchup?: ketchup 145. Rap or Rock?: depends on if it sucks or not 146. Party or stay home?: stay home 147. Skates or Bike?: bike Other Random Stuff 148. How many siblings do you have?: 1 149. Do you like your siblings?: at times 150. Do you have any pets?: yes 151. Do you like your pets?: of course 152. Who is your favorite family member?: my mom or cousin trisha 153. How are you liking this survey?: kinda long, but good 154. What time is it?: 7:51 155. What's the last thing you ate?: bread 156. Are you hungry right now?: kinda 157. What would you like to eat right now?: more bread 158. Have you ever went on a diet?: not really 159. Do you believe in God?: no 160. What do you think about Diet Coke?: sodas suck 161. How are you feeling today?: lazy When was the last time that you've... 162. Cried?: i dunno 163. Laughed?: yesterday 164. Danced?: never 165. Watched TV?: 2 hours ago? 166. Hugged someone?: my mommy hugged me earlier today 167. Stayed up past midnight?: last night 168. Jumped on a bed?: i dunno 169. Been happy?: yesterday 170. Been sad?: today 171. Drank bottled water?: i am drinking some as i type this...literally, ha ha, one handed typing 172. Went swimming in a lake?: i dunno 173. Been to the beach?: last summer 174. Hung out with some friends?: hung out with 1 friend yesterday/friday night, multiple friends....thursday 175. Took a shower?: lol....thursday...yucky me 176. Took a bath?: I forget 177. Went for a walk?: I dunno...halloween? 178. Went for a bike ride?: i dunno 179. Played a board game?: last time Josh came over 180. Been bored?: currently am 181. Eaten Birthday cake?: yuck In your opinion 182. Do fish have feelings too?: no 183. What do you think of diet coke?: you already asked me 184. Should ants be kept in ant farms?: if thats where they wanna be 185. What time is it?: 7:56 186. What do you think of black nail polish?: its ok I guess 187. What do you think of pink nail polish?: yucky 188. What do you think of no nail polish?: its what I do 189. What do you think of shopping?: overrated, plus it makes me lose my money 190. Are people who talk to Animals crazy?: no.... 191. Are you a good person?: no 192. Are you funny?: no 193. Are mice cute?: yes 194. Are snakes scary?: no 195. Does jelly taste good?: some 196. Is the color black beautiful?: it can be 197. Is black even a color? it is the comnination of all colors 198. Is pink pretty?: no 199. What do you feel about the color blue?: its cool 200. Woo hoo This is 200, how do you feel? bored 201. Are you getting sick of the color questions?: nope 202. How many chocolate chips should a cookie have?: 0 203. Is Nintendo better than Playstation?: It has ZELDA!! 204. Is bottled water really better than tap water?: yes 205. What pizza place has the best pizza?: I dunno More About You 206. Okay, what's the time right now?: 7:58 207. How are you feeling right now?: annoyed 208. How many cookies do you think you could eat?: a million 209. How many pieces of pizza can you eat?: 4 210. How much chocolate can you eat?: 2 bars 211. What kind of shoes do you wear the most?: my pumas, vans or my nike sneakers 212. What kind of clothes do you wear the most?: PJs 213. What color are your nails painted right now?: they arent 214. What are you listening to?: Incubus on my radiostation on Launchcast 215. Do you like ironing your clothes?: yes 216. Do you like to read?: yes 217. Do you like school?: yeah 218. What grade are you in?: 10 219. What's the best part of the school day?: learning 220. Why?: cause that is the purpose of school The Last Section 221. This is the last section of the survey, how do you feel?: yay 222. Did you like this survey?: yup 223. Was it the longest one that you have ever completed?: almost a 1000 question one 224. Do you like filling these surveys out?: yes 225. What do you want to do now that you are done with this?: play my agmeboy or shower 226. Any last words?: no 227. That's nice, but we're still not done: ok 228. How many people did you send this to?: 0 229. How many of those people do you think will send it back to you?: 0 230. Who is most likely to send it back?: n/a 231. Who is least likely to send it back?: n/a 232. Do you care if anyone sends it back?: nope 233. Do you like the person who sent this to you?: no one did 234. Okay, what's the time now?: 8:01 235. So, how long did it take you to finish this?: too lazy to check what time I started 236. Was it a waste of your time?: of course :) |
| Monday, December 8th, 2003 |
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| People kind of confuse me. I wish I could see what I looked like through other people's eyes. I feel like I'm falling into a depression again? I just....don't care about school much anymore. It just seems all too...out of reach and pointless.... I feel like I'm drowning right now...I wish everyone had their own personal life guard. Right now....I'd rather play video games then do anything. I havent picked up a lacrosse stick in over a month and I just want to cry. Everything just needs to get easier, but in life, it only gets harder. |
| Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003 |
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Sylvia PlathThe life of Sylvia Plath is very closely related to her book, The Bell Jar. Once you have learned read this book and learned about Plath’s life, one might wonder if the book was in fact an autobiography. There are many instances where the book uses parts of Plath’s life. Sylvia Plath was born on October 27, 1932 in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts. Her father was sick most of her life, he thought that he had cancer so decided to leave it untreated because there was no cure at the time. It turned out that he didn’t have cancer, but instead, diabetes which after being left untreated for so long caused his death; 10 days after Sylvia’s 8th birthday. She attended Gamaliel Bradford Senior High School and was always at the top of her class. Sylvia was always striving to be perfect, and would sink into deep depressions. Her academics scored her a scholarship to Smith College in 1950. In 1952 she wrote “Sunday at the Minton’s” which earned her a $500 prize from Mademoiselle magazine. In the following year she was a guest editor for Mademoiselle in their New York office. This is where the setting of The Bell Jar takes place, the whole experience of New York and the trip’s aftereffects on her self is written as the life of another person in the book. Over that same summer, Sylvia was planning on being accepted into a prestigious writing course held at Harvard by Frank O’Connor. When she was not accepted into the class she went into a state of withdrawal. On August 24, she attempted suicide. Surviving her previous suicide attempt, Plath was institutionalized at MacLean Hospital, where she was treated with insulin therapy and shock treatments. This is where The Bell Jar when compared to her life, ends. After being released from MacLean, Sylvia attended Newnham College at Cambridge University on a Fulbright scholarship. In 1956 she met Ted Hughes at a party on February 25. Less than 4 months later, Plath and Hughes were married in London. Soon afterwards she was invited to teach an English class at Smith College. She did not feel satisfied with her teaching abilities, and quit teaching after a year. She then took a job as a receptionist in the psychiatric clinic of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. That year she began seeing her therapist from MacLean in private. Sylvia also started attending an evening poetry class taught by Robert Lowell, who influenced her poetry style. In 1959 she and her husband, Ted, moved back to England. A year later she gave birth to her first child, Frieda Rebecca. In 1961 she was once again pregnant and due to give birth in the spring, but had a miscarriage. She was depressed for a long time following the loss of her second child. In 1962 she had another child, Nicholas Farrar. During her whole marriage Sylvia had been suspicious of her husband, suspecting that he was having an affair. Sylvia discovered Ted's affair with Assia Wevill, and in the month’s following her discovery she wrote at least 26 of the poems featured in Ariel, the book that she is most well known for writing. In September of the same year, she separated from Ted Hughes. In January of 1963 she published The Bell Jar under the pseudonym of Victoria Lucas. A month later, she attempted suicide for her second, and final time. She died at the age of 31 from toxic gas inhalation. During her life, Plath wrote many books including: Ariel, The Bed Book, The Bell Jar, The Colossus and Other Poems, Collected Poems, Crossing the Water, Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, and Winter Trees. Despite her obvious success in life, Sylvia went through many tragic experiences and sorrowful emotions in during her time. She was able to portray all of her grief very beautifully in her writing, which reflects greatly on The Bell Jar. I <3 Jeremy? |
| Monday, December 1st, 2003 |
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Well, life seems to be going good. I can get my learner's permit today....but I'm not. I'll get it some other time. Over the weekend: went to mall with amanda and she spent the night. We snuck some wine from the recycling bin in the garage, first time I've actually gotten a little drunk in my life. went to the mall and saw elf with jeremy and josh. wow, I really like jeremy. And we were talking and he definately wants to do that again sometime. Yay, we already made plans to see the third lord of the rings together. I Am so excited. Well, I'm gonna go cause I got loads of geometry, english and chemistry to do, with all of the geom & chem being due tomorrow. |
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| Friday, November 28th, 2003 |
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 Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You? Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons damn HW needs doing |
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| Thanksgiving was akward. |
| Wednesday, November 26th, 2003 |
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| My family knows. I can't stand being in this house anymore. |
| Tuesday, November 25th, 2003 |
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| Shit. So much stuff has happened. I dont want to go over it again. Fuck. |
| Friday, November 21st, 2003 |
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JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious. _______________________________________________ FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. _________________________________ MARCH: Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody. _________________________________ APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their luver can see. _________________________________ MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift. _________________________________ JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn. _________________________________ JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. _________________________________ AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends. _________________________________ SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. _________________________________ OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children. _________________________________ NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable. _________________________________ DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical. |
| Wednesday, November 19th, 2003 |
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Yeah....today...track was canceled due to weather...which was non-existant, but whatever. I got to go shopping with my mom and she bought me a ton of stuff. I got: Blood Brothers CD (Burn Piano Island, Burn), new headphones, The Sims: Superstar, new pants, new D&D book, Go Ask Alice, and a book on personality types. Report card today....only 3 Bs....which dissapoints me, I thought I was only getting 2. German, Geometry and Art are my Bs....how retarded is that? Normal people get As in german and art....not me. Buh. I'm gonna ask Degner about my German grade tho, cause I try....more than half the people in the class. I need sleeping pills or something....grrr. !! Since track started (saturday) I have lost 4-5 pounds, I love it. Well....I'm gonna go try to sleep again, bye. |
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Blurty for Turpentine Chaser.
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blank.
discontent.
depressed.
bored.
accomplished.
sore.
frustrated.
groggy.
distressed.
optimistic.
bitchy.
shocked.
bouncy.