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Schwarze Fee

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its monday woo-fukin-hoo [11 Aug 2003|06:41pm]
[ mood | devious ]
[ music | reuben - doll fin ]

argh!! work is suckin soo much ass today.. its so nice and sunny outside i want to go out for a walk... poor me:o( ive spent the morning trying to figure out what the hell to get for joanne for her birthday... its frekin impossible i have no money and i dont want to end up getting something crap for her so i might leave it untill after i get paid coz i need money for next weekend and for slane too(woohoo dave grohl!!). im sure she wont mind too much. my supervisor is back off her holidays on wednesday or thursday, and as far as i know the guy who has to finalise the whole piercing policy thingy is back the same week as her so they better let me get my lip done soon.. im kindof getting a bit pissed coz its taking so long.

i might be goin to see a white witch to get my forture read. i think shes down in cobh though so it better be good if i have to travel all the way down there. would be cool though:o)

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hmmmm [10 Aug 2003|02:44am]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | evanescence - Tourniquet ]

ok so tonite was kinda boring as i had expected. but interesting at the same time!! me and jo met the girls in the kazbar round ten and as we were walkin in a cute guy sitting outside smiled at me so i smiled back and kept on going thinkin nothin of it. we had our few drinks in there then headed on to the next pub.. when we were waitin for everyone to come out of the kazbar some dude grabed my ass so i turned round and it turned out to be the cute guys brother. so the cute guys brother says to me do you think he shud get his hair cut and pointed at the cute guy(he had pretty brandon boyd type hair and his lip pierced!! my perfect man!!!:o) so i said no i loved his hair. then he said to the guy who was sittin beside where i was standin to get up and let me sit down.. i was gettin kinda scared at this point.. but it got worse!! cute guys brother lifted me up and put me on the chair!!! i was soooo embarrased!!! then linda came to drag me away from them and cute guys brother was all no were keeping her go away!! it was soo goddamn funny! but then we went to the next pub and i didnt see my blond brandon boyd look alike again:'( noooooo....

we went to rubys.. was piss poor asusual!! cara the american girlie got hit on by sooo many men!! how fair is that she dont even like them!! people being gay dont bother me but she kept touchin me which was kinda weird.. when we were in the pub she held my arm for ages.. she had a reason i think but i cant remember what that was rite now.. and when we were dancing in rubys she held my hand!!!!! maybe there just really friendly in america.. i dunno..

i hella hungry now so gona go put on some toast or somit:o)

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meh.. [09 Aug 2003|05:25pm]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | damien rice - insane ]

im very bored.. today has been very meaningless so far. only woke up at two and was gona sit out in the sun but of course seeing thats is my day off there is no frekin sun!!! its all cloudy and theres even a breeze goddammit:o( so i sat in and watched more of the lord of the rings. but got bored of that so i decided to go read somit. ended up reading two chapters of harry potter and one of lotr and got bored with both of them. everyones working so im stuck sitting on my own going insane!!!!

going out tonite though..woo-the fuck-hoo!! im very tempted to start getting ready now.. just so i have something to do. i dont even want to go out anymore.. but i promised so now i have to. it sucks ass. i dont really have any money so i cant even drink tonite. and also drinking anything causes my tummy ALOT of pain so its best that i steer clear of it:o(

i dont even have a lift into town yet.. gona have to be super nice to anne so hopefully she'll bring me in. im feeling very depressed and sorry for myself rite now... would really like to snap out of it sometime.. think il go out and talk to seymour for awhile.. see if he has anything interesting going on:o(

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yay!! [07 Aug 2003|06:50pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

our supervisor just gave everyone icecream!!! how bitchin is my job:O)

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im melting.....:o( [07 Aug 2003|01:50pm]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | queens of the stoneage - rated r ]

oh my god it is soooo goddamn warm. im not likin it very much. why cant it be cold like normal. especially if im working:o( ive had a very productive day so far anyway.. got my slane bus tickets this morning(dave grohl baby!!!).. which cost €120.. i have fuck all money left in the bank now. but il be getting most of it back tomorrow so it aint too bad. i even got the digital camera cds for nic.. she was only waiting about 5years for them!! bought new clothes for work too.. im frekin great!!!

parents are coming home on sunday which means i mightn't be able to go out on saturday nite. i dont want to leave laura alone in the house.. she wouldnt like it. i left her alone for five mins last nite and she got into a raging fight with danny.. was very funny.. funnily enough there not talkin to each other now. go marky for stickin up for my little sis.. was very entertaining to watch;o) if your readin this laudies gona buy you a cake:O)
damn its hot.. im melting.... nooooooo.. and luckily for me im sittin by the window so i have to watch everyone sitting out side at the picnic tables in the sun.. i hate them all!! i wana be at the beach.....only six more hours of work to go!! woohoo...

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[03 Aug 2003|08:12pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | the frames - Pavement Tune ]

im sooooo pissed off!!! my mother is a fuckin bitch!!!!!!!!! i think im goin to go into the corner and cry:'( i just want to go frekin home!! i feel like i havent slept in about a week. today sucked ass!!!

This situation's killing me
It's got me right under the thumb
I don't know where I want to be
This doesn't make no sense at all
You're quoting every single line
I spoke too much but I was old before my time, you told me

I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make amends
I want my life to make more sense to me

This road is crooked cracked and wrong
They got the odds staked nice and high
I don't know how they get along
me, I just internaize
You can imagine what they'd say
Given the choice if I could fight or walk away, I'm walking

You see I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make amends
I want my life to make more sense to me

I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make more sense to me

So let me take you by the hand
And lead you through this troubled mind
You said yourself we had a plan
To get us all back to the line
We talk anout it everyday
But we keep forgetting what it was we Came to say
Now don't we

I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make amends
I want my life to make more sense to me
My life to make amends

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[03 Aug 2003|02:56pm]
[ mood | listless ]
[ music | the darkness - growing on me ]

woohoo for me im stuck in work on a lovely sunny sunday.. the joys of it all. been sat here an hour and only taken two calls. really dont see the point in me being here at all. im feelin a tad crap too which makes it alot worse. went out last nite coz its spraoi weekend and all, went to the kazbar at ten to met the girls. their such a goddamn click.. spent the nite cursin joanne for leaving me alone with them. court got an irish man for herself and she was waaay to happy about it.. they must really be deprived over in florida.. we ended up in rubys which was kinda packed had a shit time in there. couldnt drink anything coz of my stomach so had to suffer it all completely sober:'( then we went back to aoifes to wait for a taxi and her sisters lickle puppy was in the kitchen, hes so frekin cute!! emma was playing with him and put him up on her lap and he pissed on her!! hahaha was so fuckin funny.. it was the only enjoyable thing that happened all nite!! poor em:(

parents are goin to the parade and the fireworks and crap tonite so im gona have to spend €20 gettin a taxi home.. damn them there soo inconsiderate. but their goin on hols on monday so we have a free house!! woohoo!! its highly unlikely that there will be any mad parties or anything but im still glad that they'll be gone.

aoifes girlfriend carra is comin over next week.. gona go out with them on sat nite. it shud be very interesting considering we met her new boyfriend for the first time last nite. hes very cute but hes only 19 so its a bit weird.

havent had the chance to talk to jo properly for awhile. shes goin to carrigh tonite so il have to wait till monday evening to talk to her:( i wana try and get some sort of a holiday sorted out. really dont like the idea of goin somewhere with em and them. they'd just wreck my head. so gona try convince jo to go to galway for a few days. hopefully darragh will be back in college by then so we could accidently run into him or something;) its so crap that he lives at the other end of the country. why did he have to be so goddamn nice!! its a pity that brian is coming home soon coz otherwise i could prob convince jo to go to sligo to see jimmy. then me being the desperate bitch that i am wouldnt be so obvious... *sigh* everything sucks ass!!

i feel incredibly hung over today.. which is just frekin amazing since i had one baileys all nite!! i think im gettin a cold:( i think il go to sleep on my desk again...

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[01 Aug 2003|02:03pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

havent had time to update this in awhile but since im sitting here with nothing to do i might aswell update it now.
work is begining to get a bit boring, it was ok at the start but its getting a bit repetative(sp?). it just seems pointless. but atleast i have money so it will
do for the time being. might have to look for something a little more stimuliating. argh work sucks so il shut up bout it.
ive had a very interesting past week. the guy workin with joanne was finishing up and goin home to galway last saturday so jo asked us to go out with him on friday nite. emma, being the annoyin bitch that she is, refused to go out for some stupid reason, so it was just jo, lucy and me. but darraghs mate jimmy was down for a few days so it wasnt so bad. i spent the whole nite talkin to darragh.. because the girls left us in the club, but hes really sound and hella pretty so i
wont bitch bout it. jo was with jimmy sometime during the nite so lucy ended up feelin like a bit of a spare tit. we ended up wandering round the city till around 5am then lucy drove home and we tried to get a taxi to vegas.. which was frekin impossible.. so we stayed at the hotel with the guys.. anne was less than impressed when i rang her the next day to let her know that i hadnt actually come home.. she didnt really believe my taxi excuse. felt a bit of a knacker sneekin out of the hotel the next day, didnt really say goodbye to darragh, not because i was being rude but he was kinda asleep so i just left with jo when she was heading to work. on sunday we were trying to arrange our holidays and our plan was to go to galway on a really cheap weekend but now it would kinda seem like i want to go up to see darragh.. i wouldnt be against seeing him again but i think it would just be kinda weird. especially coz the girls would be in the backround makin little comments... damn them!! joannes dying to see jimmy again anyway so who knows what will happen:o)

had to have my scope on monday which kinda ruined my little high from the weekend. it was the worst thing i have ever had to go through in my whole entire life. all i can remember from it is someone trying to hold me down when they were taking the tube out and then waking up crying.. i just felt really depressed for the whole evening and coz of the stupid drugs i was given i had no idea why i was depressed which made it a hell of a lot harder to get over it. i have to go back to the hospital in two weeks but hopefully they'll just give me tablets or something, i dont want them goin poking around in me again...

i have to work all weekend which is gona suck.. but im goin out on saturday nite for the spraoi so it should be fun, and my parents are going away next week so were going to have to plan something to do then. hopefully it will be nice and sunny so we can head out to the beach for awhile on my days off. anyway have to go back and do some work now:'(

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...... [13 Jul 2003|11:58pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | rammstein - sonne ]

today was cool.. felt rather sick when i woke up so i stayed in bed till about 2. anne got home at 4 so we headed to the beach then.. havent been there in about 5yrs.. and today i kinda realised why.. screaming little kids everywhere.. not my idea of fun!! hung around the arcade for a bit with laura and her mates. then went and met niamh for a min... kinda had to explain why we ditched her in rubys.. wasnt my fault anyways.. it was so packed in there... but she was over it so no harm done. met back up with laura and went for a walk down the beach.. which was cool.. would perfer if there had been less people around but what did i expect on a pretty sunday only thousands of ppl piling onto the beach!! and the mtv thingy was on too so there were loads of wanabe skangers round too which was just bloody marvelous!! aisling got her lip pierced!! damn her.. gona have to ask in work what piercing they'll let me get away with.. hopefully gona get my eyebrow done again.. and my lip if they'll let me..

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[13 Jul 2003|04:05am]
[ mood | drunk ]
[ music | foo fighters - low ]

went out tonite with the girls... first time in ages that all three of us have been out.. started out alrite.. got free drink and food from work.. woohoo i love my job sooo much more now. met niamh and ian and had a drink with them too.. which was cool coz i havent seen them in ages either.. but things got a bit shit when we headed to rubys (which it always fuckin does!! damn merlins for being closed) em ended up god knows where with the dodgy minger dude and jo sortof was with the cute blonde dude who had been chatting us all up all nite.. which she so regrets now.. hahahaha serves her rite!! i feel like shit so must go get some sleep if im going to the beach tomorrow:(

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[09 Jul 2003|03:07pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | damien rice - me my yoke and i ]

im soooo pissed off. its bad enough that i had to go to work today when everyone else was heading to the cinema and then the pub but then laura had the cheek of blaming me for taking €80 out of her fuckin account!! she is so dead when i get home. im so not in the mood to be dealin with her right now. my stomach hurts so much today and i badly need sleep. i ended staying up until 3am reading harry potter. but ive actually finished it now... bout frekin time!!
laura finially decided that shes gona get the bus to slane with her mates instead which is bloody brilliant, at least we wont be stuck with all her mates for the day, leighannes goin too but i havent spoken to her since school so it would be really uncomfortable if we had to get the bus up with them. but now we can just go drinkin in nics for the weekend instead:) might even go out in dub on the sat nite... linda doesnt realy want to go now so she will prob end up selling her ticket to aoife.. would be hella fun if she went..
i prob wont get home untill 11 again tonite, jo isnt finished untill 10:30 so we'll have to wait for her.... im sooo knackered.. cant wait till i get home to bed:'(

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moody mooday [08 Jul 2003|12:57am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | InMe - May(as well kiss me) ]

just spent ages writing up my days events only to have them all deleted coz i got cut of the damn internet:(

I can’t ignore it
It’s always there
Taunting me
Hitting me hard
When I need it least
When I need it most
Is it the reason im still here?
Or is it the reason exiting is never far from my mind?
I don’t know how to deal and I never will
I never knew you
Never saw your face
But I miss you more than you could ever know
You’ve hurt me more than you could ever know
Is this what you wanted when you held the knife?
Is this what you planned when you tied that noose?
Is this what you needed when you pulled the trigger?
Was the pain so hard to bear?

didnt go to niamhs coz i slept till one and missed the bus, was looking forward to our chat.. its a pity im such a lazy bitch i suppose. instead i had to listen to anne going on bout the same old crap, ended up spending most of my day hangin round my room which was rather boring, jo called round for a min but she had to be in work for 5 so she couldnt stay long. were gona try go for a meal or something on thursday nite just the three of us, and then head out drinking for the rest of the night. havent been out with the girls in ages so hopefully em will have the night off. InMe are on re:covered now... woohoo!! mmmm dave:)

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silver and cold [07 Jul 2003|12:13am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | afi - sing the sorrow ]

today was pretty uneventful. spent most of it reading harry potter. im still on the third book, god how slow am i!! il get there eventually. then i stop reading for a bit and watched harry potter and the philosophers stone on sky. i need to get a life methinks. then i headed over to emma and lindas for a min to (surprise surprise) give linda the 5th harry potter book. at least it meant getting out of the house for a min. and linda got a job. woohoo go her. and in a bar noless. i sence many nights of free drink in my future:) speaking of future i read my tarot cards this morning and it dont look good. apparently im gona be very unhappy. i keep getting the same bastarding card!! gona have to do somit about it!! not that i really believe in it but still. was talkin to tony for ages in work today. hes so goddamn funny, damn him having a girlfriend. il prob just have to go after david instead. hopefully he'll be at the work night out thingy so i can have a good chat with him.;)
have to but up early to head over to niamhs tomorrow so im going to bed to get a well deserved sleep. sooooo sleepy:(

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first entry [06 Jul 2003|05:21pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | damien rice - eskimo ]

oohh very exciting stuff!! my very first entry. but now that ive set up this little journal ive realised that i have nothing to say...... im stuck in work with nothing better to do than ramble on so thats what im goin to do. the kilkenny match is on in the back ground but ive no idea whats happening.. if they lose il cry:'( ralf won the grand prix.. woohoo!! i didnt get to watch it though coz i was stuck in work. il have to stay up tonite and watch the match and the gp i suppose. got invited to head over to niamhs for a chat tomorrow. havent talked to her in soooo long im really looking forward to it. hopefully ian wont be over there coz i wana talk to her properly and as much as i like ian he'll just get in the way. im starting to feel a bit stressed again lately which is my main reason for starting up a journal again. i just need somewhere to dump all my crap. annes still going on about the usual bullshit and she has no idea how much she is stressing my out. i wouldnt be surprised if i ended up sicker coz of it. but at least this time i have work to focus on so i wont be getting any more dodgy thoughts into my head, well hopefully i wont anyway.

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