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i'm sorta pissed at my computer.last night i stayed on to type up a really long post, but when i pressed the "update journal" button..it all got deleted.pftt, that hasnt happened to me for a while.but moving on..i guess i should just post what i wouldve posted last night..
let's see, nothing new lately.of course not, that's been my whole summer.a long line of monotonous days.no different yesterday.i sat around and rotted my brain by watching too much tv.i'm not even sure what i was watching, now that i think about it.i was just staring at the screen.i got online quite early because my mom wanted me to look up someone on the white pages website.my mom's friend is suspicious that her husband is cheating on her.*sigh*.so of course i get stuck being the one to have to look up everything.my mom is going over there next sunday so they can call the supposed lover.lol.it's like some cheesy tv show gone wrong.
hell, yesterday i even read some of my harry potter book.i'll admit it, when it comes to harry potter, my dorky side takes over.i wouldnt be dumb enough to go around collecting the trading cards, or buying the little action sets..but i love the books.for some reason, i just love the books.
somewhere around 3 in the afternoon i saw garvin and robert walking past my house.my heart skipped a beat, to tell you the truth.i guess i wasnt as over garvin as i thought i was.i got all shaky, and clumsy just at the mere sight of him.i started sitting on the couch next to the window with hopes that i might catch him walking by again.he never did.i felt dissapointed.of course i wouldve given anything to have them come visit me, instead of someone else for a change.crystal lives right next door, why couldnt they just swing by on their way over to her house?at 8 i assumed garvin had left crystal's house, so i called her.carolyn, her sister answered the phone and told me that crystal was jumping on the trampoline..with garvin..she said it in a cocky little voice.ok, so it's no secret i like the boy.i slumped down in front of the computer and decided it'd be best just to try and forget about him because he obviously didnt want to come over.not long after, both garvin and crystal, along with carolyn and coleen, showed up at my door.i went from depressed to ecstatic in seconds, just because they were standing there (garvin in particular).they came inside for drinks and i couldnt have been happier.at around 9 we set out to walk around the neighborhood.my brother wanted to come, but he was obviously shooed away.we were a few houses down the block when crystal pulled out a pack of cigaretts.garvin kept offering me some, because he saw me eyeing them curiously.he said it took a strong-willed person to actually keep saying no..guess i wasnt as strong-willed as he thought, because i smoked one eventually.heh.peer pressure's a bitch.
when we got back my mom was driving quickly out of the driveway.the three of us ran to my house.my mom went driving around the block, searching for us.when she got back she started yelling at me.we all lied and said we had been at crystal's and not walking around the block.i got to sit there and take in the yelling, while garvin and crystal laughed.i realized later how much worse it couldve been if my mom had caught us smoking.phew.
waiting outside for garvin's dad to pick him up was the best 20 minutes of my whole summer.he sat next to me and we talked about various things.crystal was on the phone, on the other side of the car, so she wasnt bugging us.he now knows i still like him.i think a little hint he took was when he said one day he was going to rape me, and i replied with "it's not called rape if i'm willing".lol.after a while of a sort of soothing silence, he asked a question that really startled me.apparently, crystal told garvin that i had asked her out.that wasnt at all the case, she was asking me the night before, if i'd ever go out with her and i told her that no, i probably wouldnt.i wasnt going to lie to her.but she turned the story around.after i explained that much to garvin he asked if i was bi.i had told him before, but he's obviously a little forgetful.he didnt seem shocked or disgusted, he remained the same.i shouldve asked him what he thought of it (not that his opinion would have any influence,but just to know how he felt about the situation).when garvin's dad showed up, garvin surprised me and leaned in for a hug.i havent felt his arms around me in so long.i was happy, i think i really was.it just sucked that he had to leave.i guess i wasnt as sure as i thought i was about being over garvin.but i think now i can understand him and the relationship i have with him with more maturity.and if we dont end up together..eventually..i'll find someone.
so that was my day.i wish it would turn out the same today, but by the looks of it, garvin will be spending his day with tia, his ex-girlfriend.*sigh* i never stay happy for longer than a few hours.
so, today..i might as well get comfortable at home because it's where i'm staying.unless i go to crystal's and jump on the trampoline or something..maybe go swimming.eh.
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crushed
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