||Natalie Merchant - Golden Boy
I spent time with 3 very cool people yesterday. I feel like I wasn't the best company though. So sorry, if I acted strangely. I'm just...trying to deal with this empty feeling in my chest.
Girl With A Pearl Earring is heavenly. It is the art I've been trying to create all my life. As I may have said before, the movie is the best screen adaptation of a book I've ever read/seen. Just gorgeous.
Words have been filling my head recently:
i beg to be fucked up and fucked over,
just so i will have been fucked.
i wish to flirt and tease,
hook and break,
in the sway of my hips,
in the glint of my eyes,
in the knowledge
that my lips can make you fall
and my bite can make you cry.
wouldn't heartache be delicious?
longing glances, fevered stares,
wistful desires, envious glares,
craving those touches,
wishing to see,
that pure adoraton
directed at me...
i want to be wanted.
pensive eyes, sauntering confidence,
a sex god walking by,
but she haunts you.
tempt me with that scent,
that hair, that mind,
those clothes, seeming to hug just right,
all reserved for her.
i am a waning crescent moon,
so pale in comparison.
she is the brilliant sun,
a radiance that will never warm your brooding distance.
you are every frowning pretty boy,
every hesitantly smirking escort of a fake-blonde beauty.
god, how i ache to kiss that arrogant mouth,
still bitter from the sins of your nights.
i could silence that sharp, unrefined tongue,
twist you into the man you're meant to be,
or maybe i'll just steal your breath,
let our bodies render us speechless.
i lust for a taste of the darkness you hold,
for a tangle in the nightshade of your skin,
but you are hopelessly drawn to her brilliance.
she's just a shadow of a dream, this sweet coy mirage,
a guileless gold enchantment,
half angel, half seductress, all allure,
branding you with a wink and a smile,
the muse for such bad poetry,
just as you inspire mine.
pity, this fantasy love you seek,
because i'd wager you're a revelation in bed.
i demand no white lace, no down pillows,
don't be fooled by an innocent face,
just give me the passion, the pain, the sweat,
the blood that stole my dreams.
i held you, in a distant world of exotic parades,
death and enthrallment and mourning,
we lived without masks, yet with unfamiliar faces,
but most importantly, you were mine.
I think ice is magical. I feel like I'm always praying for snow. Maybe its good fortune will rub off on me.