herbert west....'s journal

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Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
2:18a - Well, I got one, now what?
I guess I write in it. There have been a myriad of things that have recently, or almost recently sent my life in to a tizzy. I will begin from the top, and not digress really. I might touch on a few points later on but this is a brief history :

Age :
8 - Went vegetarian.
12- Puberty I think. Unsure.
14 - Parents split up, move in with dad.
14-15 - Figure out dad is a shitbag who has odd porn and grows his own weed since he is unemployed.
14-15 - Moved several times, finally ending with mother in Buffalo. Father is in Syracuse.
16-19 - Figure out I am a lazy SOB, but manage to finish highschool. Mother is unstable, but we all deal.
18-19 - Lost virginity, I think.
19-20 - Join the army, they said. See the world, they said. I did. 31F.
19-20 - Buys a nice laptop!!!
20 - Went AWOL for many a reason, and father steals computer (sent to him, he does not give back)
20 - Did the AWOL shuffle. Found a simple loophole, and got out under general conditions. No dishonorable.
20 - Stayed with my wonderful girlfriend until I got kicked out of her house.
20 - Grovelled while homeless for a month, and moved back in with mother. Ah, good times.
20 - Pulled life out of gutter, got good job, bought nice car.
20 1/2 - And here we are. Promoted to Ast. Manager of a store, driving a nice car, new computer.... depressed.
20 1/2 - Still with love of my life, although she does scare me sometimes. Still vegetarian.

Now, you know me. Let's begin, shall we?

current mood: crappy
current music: Switchfoot - Meant to live

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2:29a - fighting words
Got in to another idiotic match with my girlfriend, over AIM this time. I did not take off from work as I was unable to, to attend an art show we both really wanted to go to on Lockport. Market Street Art Gallery. Fantastic place with many budding artist. Anyhow....

I did manage to secure today off, to go to a computer show... I need a video card.

The thing is, I had warned my boo that I would not be able to switch, as it was impossible, and she seemed alright with it. The problem arose when she read an IM I made to a friend inviting him to the comp show (she does not dig those), and she complained that she thought I didn't even try to go to the art show, but could go to my show. She expressed how sad she was, and I got supremely frustrated.

I can admit, I did get frustrated easy, but essentially, she accused me after I told her I couldnt go no matter what.

I think I just need to somehow express that my life, although existing within her universe quite closely, does not revolve solely around her. I just can't say that, or she will be upset.

The fight ended with her throwing up an away message. I love her to death, but she does hurt me sometimes.

current mood: cranky
current music: This chaaaaaaaaarming maaaaaaan.

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