| [[::its like, whoa::]] |
[05 Dec 2003|11:50pm] |
:: yea tonite wasent to exciting...yea at like 830 zack calls telling me joeys gunna com pick me up and yea an HOUR passes THEY WERE IN WEST VALLEY...yea so they pick me up (ALL DRUNK) i mite add..yea so we go to wendys and then i get into DJs truck with lindsey cuz it is effin cold! and she was the only sober one... so we sat there while dj, well he was drunk...and like left the keys in the car so then Sydney came in and try to fuckin drive...drunk and brant came running and took the keys away. then me lindsey erin zack and i piled into criegs car weee... he wasent drunk and drove all th way down by the airport! and went to some guys house ..hes like 17 and has his own apt. and the i just sat on the couch with zack and watched DJ be an idiot, he smoke cilantro...he thought it was weed...so thn i had to go home but zack didnt want to drive me cuz he was to drunk, so criege drove me back home... yea drunk people,wee?::
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[04 Dec 2003|09:49pm] |
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music |
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MATCHBOOK ROMANCE |
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have i ever mentioned how incrediably GREAT matchbook romance is? well they ARE
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[04 Dec 2003|06:12pm] |
hyde:they should of X-rayed your head at the hospital!
Kelso: THEY DID!........and for YOU information they found NOTHING
LOL i love that 70s show! MY FAVORITEEE!!
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| [[::crying stars helps the soul::]] |
[04 Dec 2003|05:08pm] |
Giving Up Hurts The Most-underoath
angels mourn crying, praying for your soul
as my eyes open from their state of sleep i feel my blood
turn into a frozen river
nightmares so close death was in the air
my heart locked shut, and i gave you the key
promise never to leave
as lies hold me emptiness fills my broken heart
screaming your name hoping for a response, silence summer
drowned by winter
to look in your face and realized the time we spent the chances i
had have drifted away from my fingertips
your life, your thoughts, your dreams, your love
never tried my hardest and now i cray as the hurt enters
i love you and i still love you
even though i never showed it
a piece of me is gone forever
clutching memories held so close
repeating words of love spoken to late
my eyes look all around but all they can focus on is you
for in you i find me
days past by and thy death still lingers
this coldness will never satisfy me
i want to be surrounded by angels in a place
where the sun is so warm it burns my insides
surrounded by angels
where love takes my darkest depressions
and throws it into the deepest of sea
a place i can call home, i'm crying to you Jesus
mend me, break me, make me
you're all i've got now
my eyes look all around but all they can focus on is you
for in you i find me
farewell my friend your time has come
and never will i be able to tell you i love you again
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[03 Dec 2003|03:00pm] |
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| [[:: you said it, but do you mean it?::]] |
[02 Dec 2003|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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understanding in a car crash-thursday |
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::o my younge children how are you... yea well im cool u know stole some milk today, it was cool...o yea chocolate too! you know what i've noticed....THEY DONT HAVE CHERRY COKE IN UTAH! i can not find any effin cherry coke WAT THE HELL!!!! i dont understand...hahayea so anyways im in total :*:LUST:*: feels good hehe not only to like have someone but tonot feel lonely as much, not as scared, i feel like more of me... i onno its haard to explain... anyways...yea thats pretty much it::
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| [[:: i like this song...so effin shot me..::]] |
[02 Dec 2003|03:34pm] |
Love can be a many splendid thing
Has another joy you bring
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you’ll just want the world to see
But like a drunk that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all
Now I was just a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all
Every time I turn around
I think I’ve got it all
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)
It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up in side)
Make your heart believe a lie (Make your heart believe a lie)
Gets stronger then your pride
(The trouble with love is) See your heart its in your soul
(It doesn’t care how fast you fall) You wont remember control (?)
(And you can’t refuse the call)
See you’ve got no say at all
The trouble with love is (Oooo….ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)
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[01 Dec 2003|09:49pm] |
today i woke up at 9
with so much on my mind
so much to say
there was not enough time
you're cute and you're swell
and everyone can tell
that i've fallen head over heels over you
and they all get tired
when i sit and talk about you
they say that they've heard it all
and you're the one i should tell
so i'll write it
and seal it with a kiss just for you
seal it with a kiss just for you
it's hard to know where to start
so hard to open my heart
not knowing what my words may impart
you're the guy i adore
and i just can't ignore
that each day i like you
more than the day before
rewrite and revise it
there's no way to deny it
and hope this message comes through
that i'm crazy about you
so i'll write it
and seal it with a kiss just for you
seal it with a kiss just for you
so, i'll rewrite and revise it
there's no way to deny it
as i bring this letter to a close
with love, xoxo
and i'll sign it
and seal it with a kiss just for you
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[01 Dec 2003|09:47pm] |
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| [[:: give a lil::]] |
[01 Dec 2003|08:16pm] |
:: today is nation AIDS day, i havent really been like into like putting my voice out for AIDS but ever since i've watched a program, MTV Fight for you're rights:AIDS, it hit me so hard of all the people who are dieing not only in America but countries all over the WORLD. I first really heard about the deaths of AIDS when i was watching one of my favorite bands lead singer, Bono, talking about it. i dont know when i watched the show and i couldnt stop crying... i felt so selfish...i dont know i just felt like crying and like...people saying that its a gay disease mad me feel worse because i thought that most gays had it and now it isnt true and i feel bad, and like i dont know i just feel bad...i dont knoe and like in africia it ISNT a gay disease its happening to CHILDREN its like every 2 hours 30 kids DIE in africa from AIDS and 2 people are affected in america i feel bad...but at least we know now that AIDS is not a death sentance , in america that is. man i feel bad...
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| [[:: this is a good thing::]] |
[30 Nov 2003|11:25pm] |
:: yea well i had a very interesting talk with ricky... i will ALWAYS love him... but i guess people move on, and now im glad that when i think of him i dont cry i smile
so fuck me sally... this quote workss dispite all my ....bad thoughts about it..
yea so goodnite::
i <3 the O.C, just u know thought id add that
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| [[:: the world is not enough::]] |
[30 Nov 2003|10:08pm] |
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::today was enjoyable i went out shopping with my mommie and got me new t shirt and jacket that rocks o mandoooss and then i got home and zack came and resucced ..i mean picked me up from my house then we went to syds and dj was thurr and we hung out with sydney and her 3 sisters and i watched zack n dj play with them lol it was so cute i loved it! then brant came over .... yea but hes cool... i guess lol so yea then we left and zack took dj home I GOT SHOTGUN...yea thats rite... lol then zack drove me home... sadness yea well its 37 degrees, ekk lol yea well nitneite
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| [[::i grew up on wishful thinking::]] |
[29 Nov 2003|11:52pm] |
Save yourself.
Because the only thing that matters
is that you get away from the pain
and the thought of losing your mind.
Don't blame yourself.
It was everyone around you who made you act this way.
There's the stage and your chance to watch it go down.
Don't fake yourself into ever, ever thinking about yesterday.
That was then, this is now. Don't call it undone.
Don't take what you've been dealt.
You can exit out the back and make your getaway
before anyone can see the damage you have done.
This time is the last time so be here, here now.
This time is the last time. Somehow make it through.
State your case. You've got everyone's attention.
What can you say? Thanks or forget what you've been given.
Take your place. Do you think that you deserve the best of everything?
We don't get why you're here. Can you figure it out?
This time is the last time so be here, here now.
You've got to get away.
Oh, I get lost in the thought of losing you.
You've got to get away. I know it's a dream but it must be true.
Wave now goodbye. It's the lesson that you've been given.
You can always move on to better things.
This time is the last time so be here, but be here now.
This time is the last time somehow.
This time is the last time so be here, but be here now.
This time is the last time. Somehow make it through.
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[29 Nov 2003|11:22pm] |
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mood |
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anger |
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music |
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wish you a merry christmas |
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why is it always me that regrets things
i wish so bad that i waited for zack to call...
i miss him so bad
i called him cuzlandon and went to landons friends after the show
i dont really....relate to his friends.. [popular one track minded selfish type]
not to be rude
but i wanted so much to be with him
i called DJ and they said they might not do anything and that theyd call me
5 minutes they said
never called
do i try to hurt myself
whats wrong with me
its not fun when you think your hearts looking for pain, without consolting ur head first
does pain come from your heart , mines does, i can fel it sink deeper every 5 minutes
this is bull shit
LIFE is bull shit
Life is the biggest stress maker in the universe
i want to crumble up and die...
its all my fault i know, i should learn not to fall for guys... for lies, friendship...my heart
my heart always gets me in trouble...causes me pain... god if only my brain was in control, if only my freakin COMMON SENSE had control....CAUTION: you've been here before...BOY WILL BREAK YOUR HEART... step
away from the boy... step away
thats all my fuckin self pity for tonight...tune in next time
FEATURES GIRL FINDING LONELINESS...again
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| [[::yea, cuz im rediculious like that::]] |
[29 Nov 2003|06:53pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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the greatest fall of all time-matchbook...1 of my favs!! |
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::yea well my b/fs gay and doesnt call 'til 6:46 CORRECTION by DJ 6:49 to ask to do something... SORRY hunnie i got plans, so yea me n landon are going down to provo to some show its gunna be funno ...riffic lol well i was going to by a card for shiva that said...when u smile.. i smile when u laugh i laugh, now lets see what happeneds when you take ur clothes off LOL i still mite haha... i love shiva and i love kate!!! <33 well im gunna go now... i have a craving for shrimp... lol well buh byee
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| ::credit:: |
[28 Nov 2003|10:51pm] |
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credit to lindsay_x3 for the icon!!!
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| [[:: If I k i s s e d your neck,would you slit my throat::]] |
[26 Nov 2003|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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missing him err... |
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music |
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man i listen to matchbook to much lol |
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:: yea well today was melias lazy day...got up put on a spiffy outfit ..lil makeup then put my hair up got my slippers and rann out the door.. im sicky sucky sucky... im angry i hate holiday cuz now i cant see zack for a long time... and i was suppose to see him tonite but i came home to late...and like tomorrows thanksgiving... then my breothers last day here... so i onno... *sadness*...:(..i need him to rub my back.. im sicky!!! yea well dave drove me home and he took like for ever!!! cuz peter n him lol... were trying to be ghetto.. o my white friends lol yea so it snowed like a bunch today... it was depressing but i look at it now and it isnt to much... the snow reminds me of zack, cuz the first time it snowed he drove me home hehe i onno just like i feel so much more excepting that im in utah instead of torrance... like im not lonely anymore and it feels good. it makes me happy, he makes me happy. well yea thats it...::
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[26 Nov 2003|11:30pm] |
I make up excuses just to touch you and I can't stop, I can't stop
You're as welcome as cancer, but my door is always unlocked
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| [[::anything to keep me breathing::]] |
[26 Nov 2003|11:25pm] |
speak to me
tell me something so typical
a lullaby or something miserable
that will keep me up at night
cross out my eyes
i know you planned it
you know i love you
and i can't stand it
we just lost control
(we just lost control)
lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth fighting for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth fighting for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
go lie to me
tell me stories so beautiful
an epic of something so terrible
that it makes me weep
cross out these days
on the calendar
it hurts me so much
and im not quite sure
i care anymore
(i care anymore)
lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth fighting for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
lie to me
give me something worth living for
tell me a reason worth dying for
give me anything, anything to keep me breathing
anything to keep me breathing
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