||my name is jonas- weezer
i felt fucking shitty this morning, didnt go to school. ive been thinking about someone a lot lately, my feelings for them are changing? im not sure how i feel about them, but i cannot get them out of my head, and i think i might..like them? *crys* this sucks.
i have this fuckin short story for miss g's and i lost my disk,
ill be rewriting it...and also i have this big poetry project, with poetry but we can use songs and shit.
i think im gonna do something by sylvia plath, in bloom(nirvana), the world has turned and left me here(weezer), and either screaming infidelities or the hint of these new tears are sharp (dashboard confessional) and maybe something by trevin if hes up for it. yeah. im looking forward to school being out, staying home today made me realize i miss summer.
but there are things that will change what with school ending, things that will be bad.
im hoping to go to ngw this summer, but what i really need is a fucking band man. *sighs* im serious about it now...
my birthdays coming up, i might be getting a new guitar. hmph. i dont want a new drumset even though its old because the sound is killer. im gonna be 14 :)
im also getting my haircut thursday? maybe ill cancel it......if not, i will be dyeng it this summer. caroline, do you remember at this time last year, LA? with chris and jason. *sighs* everything went bad this year. and do you remember when in social studies for about a week, there was some odd banging in the pipes? and my birthday in 6th grade...with that tape me you and jessica made :P good days
the thought of going back to school makes me sick, im really behind in everything except LA...i didnt hand in my permission slip for some lame field trip, and i think most of the team is going, and my moms probably going to make me go to school, great.
i really cannot get this person out of my head...its like he is, i dont know, making me a better person through another? shouldnt you, at our age, get ecstatic over simply just, a regular kiss, from the guy you like? not when you are so wrapped up in the shittiness they give you, when you always want more from them, when, no matter how much you two do together, your still not convinced he returns your feelings. well im thinking maybe this person could help me forget about the person who makes me never feel satisfied. but maybe its nothing to do with them, maybe its just me, maybe i will always feel like i need more from whoever i am with. but see, i can just be happy to hang out with this person.. he is cool :P yeah. but he has absolutely no feelings for me..at all.
blahhhh. maybe someday.
everything at home is...shall i say declining?
something happened to my sister, im getting worse, and everythings so ...tense. theres so many things i want but i wonder would i even be happy with these things? probably not. im really selfish. there was this...semi attractive kid, maybe 15? in the waiting room friday...i dont know what was wrong with him, but he was getting medicine too and then the next day, surprise surprise, i saw him at the mall? ha. im gonna feel lame next time i see him .....ah. but i suppose ill live.
i am gonna go play drums i need to practice