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Rachel

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[29 May 2003|05:38pm]
everyones making a giant deal about the dance..its pissing me off. it seems like everyone has a goddamn date..im not complaining about not having one, id much rather go alone..it just seems..blah. i was 7 lessons behind in math, today i stayed after and now im only 3 behind. i kind of have an idea somewhat of what's going on. six flags is tuesday, great...im NOT wearing my bathing suit HAHA. in science i got this thing stuck in mine and leah's beaker...so i tried to get it out with my teeth...which was a really stupid idea; it cracked in my mouth, and leah quoted i was "spitting blood" yuck.

[27 May 2003|08:46pm]
[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | hash pipe- weezer ]

XFRIDAYnight
caroline came over..then cassandra showed up..she was trying to scare me and caroline..i kicked her, soda went all over us, i stood up and lunged at her and smashed her against she wall/kicked her. she started crying and saying give me the phone i want to go home. but it was down my pants ahaha needless to say she didnt get it. caroline and i held a seance...we are pretty sure it worked, gonna try again this friday.
XSATURDAY
me and caroline walked to the gas station and got food :) and went to WAL MART yeah. then my cousins came over...me and caroline went outside and i danced in the rain and rolled in the grass. i got my pants that i wear everyday dirty :( caroline left at like 10
XSUNDAY
went to carolines..lauryn tony and nick came. i met a monster child named jessica? clawed the hell out of everyone; wow. tony kept attacking us. blerg.
XMONDAY
i was lazy

[19 May 2003|09:26pm]
i might turn this into a friends only journal, and put hardly no one on it. But only if caroline changes her password? but she said she will :P yay
i have a sore throat and a cough and a field trip tomorrow.
byeye

UGH. [19 May 2003|09:20pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | MAN ON THE MOON. ]

why the fuck does everyone get so worked up about labels? they even get worked up about getting rid of them wow...
you suck bitch.

caroline, we need to shoot up the world; WE NEED TO DO IT SOON

[19 May 2003|09:01pm]
by the way.
there is a reason i dont allow comments, no one has any right to make any, or ask me questions, these are my thoughts. thanks

YO HOMIE. [19 May 2003|08:55pm]
MONDAY_ excellent day. dont wanna get into it

Message to caroline:::
what the fuck. why the hell does everyone say VIOLENT FEELINGS and RABBIT. did they make it up, did they have ANY TINY PART IN IT WHATSOEVER/ no / \ please make it stop
*scratches head* why doesnt anyone do anything on their own?
seeya

[18 May 2003|06:43pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

I have received good news, not for myself. for lauryn. but im gonna tell her cause its nice to make someone happy. i was thinking of how things used to be in the 'hood. lmao. but it was fucking different. I never hang out with my neighbors anymore, we used to all be best friends and hang out, but now were all diffreent from eachother, and we all clash, some of us drive now. this summer we can maybe hang out again *sighs*

all i wanna do is ride bikes with you
and stay up late
and watch cartoons


Lebby1229 [6:47 PM]: AWESOME!!!!!


wish i could say the same, lauryn. :) but BE HAPPY.

[18 May 2003|06:07pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | o girlfriend- weezer ]

Pouring over photographs.
I'm living in your letters.
Breathe deeply from this envelope
it smells like you & I can't be
without that scent. It's filling me
with all you mean to me.


CONTINUED

x snow days
x couches
x cozy rooms
x unexpected phonecalls
x eye contact
x laughing so hard your stomach hurts
x biting someone
x getting bit
x smiles
x staying up all night with someone
x crossing rivers by foot
x i love you
x words ending in "ack"
x people coming to my window
x goldfish
x making cookies with someone :P
x gray days
x rain
x the sound of rain on the window
x hide and seek and tag at night
x making prank calls

i want someone to come to my window on my birthday, at midnight, that would be fucking awesome. i am going to make someone. 22 days until my birthday (june 9) and i am exciteddddddd.

THINGS I DONT LIKE
x soda
x ketchup
x mustard
x any kind of meat type things, except for chicken nuggets and hot dogs
x stupid people
x people that get annoyed by me
x ice skating
x mean people
x wet grass
x people copying me
x kim possible
x the proud family
x shoes that dont fit right
x untied shoelaces
x getting ditched/ignored
x getting talked about behind my back
x getting talked about, period.
x rumors
x guys leaving girls and then making fun of them
x people trying to relate to me, unless they can
x family get togethers
x the president
x religion
x war
x bad smelling perfume
x long nails
x school
x humidity
x anxiety
x shitty songs that *somehow* get played on the radio
x receiving prank calls
x mtv
x cd stores that completely blow
x rap
x spider bites
x SCISSORS, MUCUS, MEAL, DALLOP, all words i despise.

[18 May 2003|04:18pm]
[ mood | Laughy ]
[ music | dillio- mest ]

XFRIDAY
mall with cassie, trevin, caroline, lauryn, erik, chase. saw colin (JERRY) and mike hes cool. paid steve for gas, bet he didnt even need it. cassie signed some hogmans hat. haha. saw kurt look alike I GOT A PICTURE YO. took lots of pictures. trevin tripped and fell flat on his face. i laughed. he proceeded to stand up as if nothing happened but it did. me and caroline put our arms around eachother and SKIPPED GODDAMMIT the entire length of the mall :P fun. cassie got asked out by a girl at hot topic. all in all the night was..fun. i saw a bully , trevin called his name. boy oh boy did i LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR. mr rags is closing, trevin wanted to buy the naked woman. uhh. bye.

SATURDAYX
GOT mah black and whites developed. abners party. i got upset no one saved me any pizza but i got over it. haeh. took pictures again. cassie cried in the little girls room. i skated somewhat but im not to great. some man kept watching me and caroline. *crys*

XSUNDAY
went to wal mart with cassie ha. got pictures developed. i think i need a life.

NOW.
i sit here with cassinda at my side (she always is)
she has some kind of list ocd. ha.
once steven let us read his LA notebook and he had a list of shit he liked (or was it didnt like?) so here goes


rachel and cassies list of things they love
x corduroy
x long hugs
x long car rides w/ headphones
x friends defending you
x hand holding (well...it all depends)
x warm nights
x walks
x the new car smell
x new cds
x swimming at night
x nice smelling hair
x days without ..the problem
x red and purple skittles
x non carbonated drinkers. yeah (that only goes to rachel)
x neato rooms
x chuck taylors
x softness
x plaid
x pictures
x kisses (without trying to fucking get them in bed cough cough)
x piercings
x the smell of the YMCA, or any heavily chlorined area
x being thrown into the pool
x black eyeliner
x ilovefuzzysocks (carolines screename)
x bubblebaths. preferably with jets in the bath
x trevins glasses
x trevins hair...and your not cutting it
x hotels
x cassies telly
x Bryans voice
x crazy legs
x falling asleep with someone you love..and just sleeping :P
x thespark
x quizilla
x old mr rogers t shirts
x old disney movies (peter pan, alice in wonderland, snow white, etc)
x getting IMed first
x long, productive conversations
x polka dots
x stripes
x short lines
x the norwich movie theartre
x hair dye
x thigh high socks
x dreads
x water after ice cream
x stars
x thunderstorms in the summer
x random thoughts
x men secure with their masculinity..but not too secure.


yo son i gotta go get in my car. but this will surely be continued.

uhm [18 May 2003|04:04pm]
[ mood | *sighs* ]
[ music | uh...cassies beastly breathing? ]

I sit in the park where i dwell
for this boy i love so well
he took my heart away from me
now he wants to set me free
I see a girl on his lap
he says things to her he never said to me
i ran home to cry on my bed
not a word to mother was said
father came home late that night
he looked at me from left to right
he saw me hanging from a rope
he took his knife to cut me down
and on my dress a note was found
dig my grave and dig it deep
dig my grave from head to feet
and on the top place a dove
and remember this, i died for love


cassie was write. he changed it around a bit, changed girl to boy, dress to shirt, etc, etc,,,,and claimed he wrote it. wtf? that takes some real originality, guys.

Cassinda_ says_
hello. i want to die and i want to kill myself when i get home. but im not gonna cause im the cowardly lion.

ok then. back to Rachie, i suspect shell be playing
without you here - finch
as soon as shes back in her humble abode. i bet you dont get it

xTO YOU

i like you. im sorry if ive ever been mean to you in the past (i know i have been, there is no denying it.) i dont even think you like me anymore; and i do not blame you (i can be at times, a huge bitch.) I LOVE YOU THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new topic::
ricky

x you are really nice, and they shouldnt have taken you out of school (even though i bet your happier now that you dont have to come here) it makes me sad because on your last day i was crying and you helped me. i miss you :P have fun

WELL BYE NOW i am gonna find GINGERSNAP.

[15 May 2003|07:38pm]
just had a x long x
discussion with steven about bands. no one appreciates their older stuff, in example: good charlotte. they were around before, and then lifestyles of the rich and the famous came out. they completely blew up, and look at them now. it seems like they are all about their image. ahh. im getting angry, i need to change the subject.

I need to get out of this house, goddamit! someone invite me somewhere...now.

today on the bus my cd player went dead, and bethany gave me her batteries. which was really nice, considering were not really friends. which is odd, because she practically lives next to me. hm.

[15 May 2003|07:21pm]
the boys mean she's protected
and she wants someone to see her
she needs to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful
- something corporate

your useless to me





xcome over tonight because im bored :) and it would be fun

[15 May 2003|06:59pm]
[ mood | list making mood ]
[ music | stay with me- finch ]

yo. today was a shitty day..i dont even want to think about it.
blah. tomorrow night i might go to the mall...also caroline, cassie, trevin, lauryn, abby, chase(?) and who knows.

THINGS I LOVE
x corduroy
x fuzzy sweaters
x nice nights
x long talks (ones which actually produce something)
x those white long john t shirts
x converse hightops
x long hair
x carolines screenname
x acoustic guitars
x twister (the game, not the juice)
x cassie's phone
x thigh high socks
x long car rides with my cd player
x long walks
x camoflauge
x tongues
x mr rogers
x late nights with friends


ahh
a break is in order

i never thought it would come to this, now i can never go home [13 May 2003|08:58pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | surf wax america ]

ahh. yes kids, i have realized i dont really like that mystery guy. and yes, my feelings did go crashing back to that certain someone. fuck me, this sucks. my head hurts so bad...i saw tony at the mall today..through the window of a store, so i didnt get to say hi. i bought this book of poems by sylvia plath, i want this cool skirt but its not gonna be in til the 19th? camo :P yay. abbys birthday party is on saturday at the rollerrink, i guess i will be going, im not sure what to get her? Maybe ill just give her some money. i dont feel like typing i just want to sleep

[12 May 2003|08:22pm]
The frosty air is fading,
And coming is the warm glow.
I ache for our talks on
payphones, completely covered in snow,
Nights I never wanted to go home
Without your words in my hand.
Everything sometimes seemed so together
Is all of this already planned?
Holding you as our cold breath mingled
The snow falling on us was icy and tingled
We would laugh and sing
All while hurting ourselves
We were slowly but surely
Moving from our cozy shelves

So now will everything be the same?
Will our moods still be influenced
by the rain?
All of the things that made us laugh and shake,
Will they crack smiles?
Am I still yours to break?
You’ve probably stayed up and asked yourself too
Are we falling apart or
Are we already through?
You broke my heart but I am here for you.
Sleep dominated by phone calls
Tongues and I love you’s
I remember your arms
And as winter is leaving,
Are we open to harm?

It’s warm outside, everything’s clear
But my head is clouded
I’m taken over by fear
My stomach is aching and
Nature feels sick
I think nature is faking
We both know we can’t stop these constant thinks
And I think this summer will be comforted by drinks
Movies and thrift shops,
Shows and jam sessions
Are all part of it but now I have a question.
Are you going to be there,
To watch me grow up?

Or am I more so wearing away
Fucking each and every day?
Hold my hand and drag me along
Close the door and kiss my tears
And please put on my favorite songs.
I’m waiting for you
Where are you?
I don’t think you’re coming
And I am left here
Humming
The tunes to my favorite ones,
Even though they’re not playing
Why can’t you turn them on?
I think I just realized
That you might be completely gone.
But I can still taste you and I see you
Summer is coming,
Soon it will be over.

I hope your still here
To sit with me and have a beer
Are things going to change
For better or worse?
And will our sentences still be overtaken by
Every goddamn curse?
I hope you want to kiss me
Over and over again
I hope you want it to be like it was
Way back then.

[12 May 2003|01:25pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | my name is jonas- weezer ]

i felt fucking shitty this morning, didnt go to school. ive been thinking about someone a lot lately, my feelings for them are changing? im not sure how i feel about them, but i cannot get them out of my head, and i think i might..like them? *crys* this sucks.
i have this fuckin short story for miss g's and i lost my disk,
ill be rewriting it...and also i have this big poetry project, with poetry but we can use songs and shit.
i think im gonna do something by sylvia plath, in bloom(nirvana), the world has turned and left me here(weezer), and either screaming infidelities or the hint of these new tears are sharp (dashboard confessional) and maybe something by trevin if hes up for it. yeah. im looking forward to school being out, staying home today made me realize i miss summer.
but there are things that will change what with school ending, things that will be bad.
im hoping to go to ngw this summer, but what i really need is a fucking band man. *sighs* im serious about it now...
my birthdays coming up, i might be getting a new guitar. hmph. i dont want a new drumset even though its old because the sound is killer. im gonna be 14 :)
im also getting my haircut thursday? maybe ill cancel it......if not, i will be dyeng it this summer. caroline, do you remember at this time last year, LA? with chris and jason. *sighs* everything went bad this year. and do you remember when in social studies for about a week, there was some odd banging in the pipes? and my birthday in 6th grade...with that tape me you and jessica made :P good days

the thought of going back to school makes me sick, im really behind in everything except LA...i didnt hand in my permission slip for some lame field trip, and i think most of the team is going, and my moms probably going to make me go to school, great.

i really cannot get this person out of my head...its like he is, i dont know, making me a better person through another? shouldnt you, at our age, get ecstatic over simply just, a regular kiss, from the guy you like? not when you are so wrapped up in the shittiness they give you, when you always want more from them, when, no matter how much you two do together, your still not convinced he returns your feelings. well im thinking maybe this person could help me forget about the person who makes me never feel satisfied. but maybe its nothing to do with them, maybe its just me, maybe i will always feel like i need more from whoever i am with. but see, i can just be happy to hang out with this person.. he is cool :P yeah. but he has absolutely no feelings for me..at all.
blahhhh. maybe someday.

everything at home is...shall i say declining?
something happened to my sister, im getting worse, and everythings so ...tense. theres so many things i want but i wonder would i even be happy with these things? probably not. im really selfish. there was this...semi attractive kid, maybe 15? in the waiting room friday...i dont know what was wrong with him, but he was getting medicine too and then the next day, surprise surprise, i saw him at the mall? ha. im gonna feel lame next time i see him .....ah. but i suppose ill live.
i am gonna go play drums i need to practice

[30 Apr 2003|07:29pm]

Hazel Eyes


What Color Eyes Should You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


i guess it's pretty safe to say you're angry, maybe
you turned the gun on a few other people before
painting the wall with the insides of your
skull, who knows? who cares? nobody really
liked you in the first place, better sooner
than later right?


SUICIDE
brought to you by Quizilla

[30 Apr 2003|07:14pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Gay Bear
Gay Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahaha OH YEAH.

[29 Apr 2003|07:22pm]
Lolllipopkid [7:19 PM]: suicides a crime
ilovefuzzysocks [7:19 PM]: and yournot committing it

haha kinda funny.

[29 Apr 2003|07:21pm]
Idealistic Virgin
You are an IDEALISTIC VIRGIN.


What Kind of Virgin Are You?
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