I was born into a world you may not understand.
~Identification.................... ~ (x)
~Aquaintances..................... ~ (x)
~Archives........................ ~ (x)



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12:30:07:11:55:P
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mood -:- busy

Minor update.
(x)So I have been waiting for my photobucket to open now for about 15 minutes... No, theres nothing wrong with the site, or my internet, but since I have so many fucking pictures in one folder it takes a while... If I am not mistaken, haha, I almost said: mistanken, hehehe, mk... I have about 82 pages of pics in this one folder and my dumbass clicked on the *view all*... So now I am waiting... Oh there it goes.

Anywhos, BEEN A WHILE EH? If I had written in this thing as many time as I was somewhere thinking, 'I wish I could sit down and write an entry', my absence probably wouldnt have been as long... Sorry guys................ Plus, I think it is fucked up that a person who used to nearly write every single day has such a writers block that you dont see nothing from them in months. Its just sad. For me. I am sure there is a slew of reasons that prevent me from being able to come here and write, but I dont want to make a post about that... Considering, this might be the only thing you will see from me in a long while... And I really wish I could change that. I really really do.

I miss writing.

So yeah, another year is coming to an end... And boy, this one seemed to have gone quick... Alot, and I mean ALOT, of changes... Was it a good year? Yes. And honestly, I believe next year will be just as good, if not better.

I plan on trying to come on more and write... Although, I am not sure if it will be here or not... I let my account go on LJ and I thought I might start it back up instead of here because, well, it seems to be not-so-fucking-dead over there... But then GJ doesnt require a dammed fee, but same as here, I dont have many peeps to talk to there... And I reckon my life isnt so private that I need to sit and constantly write to myself!

Heres to a wonderful New Year kiddos! And maybe I will get to sit and write more often... I will write here until I make a decision where I want to plant myself o0k? Well, talk soon! (off to finish shit on photobucket) Love yalls.


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10:15:07:04:54:P
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mood -:- pleased

So, I felt like writin a bit...
(x)I miss writing here in my journals... *sigh* But, I have had to take a much needed break to live life a while to obviously have something great enough to write about... You know, let some thoughts and events accumulate up in my mind?

Well, alot has changed...

The scenery:
I am back in Alabama now... To the place I was born and raised, and its weird... Weird in a good way of course... I was nervous about how I would feel being back here after some time and its turned out that I dont feel as much as the stranger I thought I would be... I mean, you leave one place that you knew your whole life, then you return and so much has changed and you almost feel like you havent changed at all.. But the reality of it is, is that I have changed... This place has changed right along with the years too... Those faces are all just as much older as mine has got... Children are grown into teens and young adults... Spots of land that were just fields, now have big new schools, Wal-Marts, and car dealerships occupying the spaces... And then theres places where old houses used to stand are now parking lots... More people, more cars, more traffic...

The people:
What was once a small hick town set back in the mountains, with old time people, is now a rapidly growing "small" city, with people rushing around trying to get to work, and to get their children to and from school... The children of the people whom I went to high school with... Many new faces, but every once in a while I spot someone whos familiar to me.. That never happened to me in Indiana... Everywhere I went when I lived there, there was new faces... Here, I cant go into WalMart without recognizing someone, or them recognizing me... Its odd... I feel like such a different person now, but yet, there is a person who lives inside me who never left and who never changed.

The names:
The last thing I ever thought I would do in my life would be to move back down here and get married... So I have been married for 2 months and 3 days today... Its great really, I mean, I have a guy who is great to me... Hes the image of the man that I always asked for to have in my life... Someone nice, who isnt mean to Jeremy or myself... What more can I say about that! I finally feel like I am on the path that I am supposed to be following... I feel good about myself and I am content with my life.

Family:
I have contacted all my family who lives here... I have contacted most of my *close* friends who lived here, except one... I know where her mom and dad lives, but times have been too busy right now to go and make contact with them... Hopefully I will get to do that soon... But I have gotten to speak to all my uncles and my aunt, and some cousins, one way or another... ... ... ... Its great to be home.

Some of the things I miss about Indiana though, are my friends... My parents... Thankfully my mom and dad are moving back down here in a couple years... Its been hard being away from them all this time... I was happy to see them in July when they came down for a weeks vacation! And I was terribly sad when they left...

Jeremys dad hasnt had much contact since we have been gone... For me its a relief... For Jeremy it may be something else, although he doesnt show it... He seems to like being here and l am so glad for that... Greg is a wonderful *Dad*... I was suprised the first time he called Greg *dad*... So was Greg LOL! But they get along great and have become good friends... They have alot in common and Jeremy seems to look up to Greg in way he never could with his real father...

Also, I miss my brother and my nephews... Big James and I havent been on speaking terms as of the last few months due to a dumb mistake I made, and even though I have tried to make it right, he wont have no contact with me... So I have just went on with my life... Im sure when hes ready to be my brother/friend again, he will let me know... And sometimes, I miss April too... I mean, I always wanted to have her as a sis-in-law and become good friends with her... We are two different people and didnt get along at times, but we are the same in alot of ways... I guess I am trying to say that I miss what I could have had with her...

You spend enough time away from people you care about, all those bad things that come in between seem so small...

Lets talk about my job! lol... I work at a factory... Oh the life huh? GREAT money... Long hours... Sore feet... But GREAT MONEY!!! haha!!! I inspect the products before they get shipped to the warehouse and what not... The products being, rugs and such... Mainly they are colorful rugs... The kind you would buy at WalMart or Target, or Kohl's and such... Bathroom rugs and potty seat covers... I dont make them, I just inspect them to make sure they are done right and that there is nothing wrong with them... Its a pretty cool job really... Maybe some other time I will get into more detail about it, but as of right now, my feet are killing me and my husband is on his way home from work... So I will get off here and catch back up to yall laters...

If anyone is still around here, drop me a line will ya? I miss yas!!
Toods for now.

PS// a small rant// The TUBE has went off the air :(( Go here to see why: http://www.thetubetv.com/ And if you loved it as much as I do, please go to the site and leave an email to show your support! Tell them to give us back our videos!!!!!!!


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07:13:07:03:04:P
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Random stuffs.
(x)Wow... An exclusive Blurty-only post from me. This is something that hasnt happened for probably years? But I am drawn back here, not because of the depth of history I have written in this thing, but because I have history in the making right now and I need to talk about it. oops, I mean write about it.

I would really like to change my info page too... I have changed, of course, since I created that nonsense. lol.. Some stuff I know I will not change, but like, that show Related- Hell, it was cancelled after the first season... *boo*... So, I will always lurve that season and all, but not enough to keep that damn thing up there... Plus, I can begin this makeover by organising my 30 billion pic/icons in my 3 fucking Photobuckets... Damn, its going to be alot of shitty work =(

But speaking of great seasons of shows... WEEDS! starts August! House and Heroes this fall!! Fuck Jericho in it disappointing ass show... I might watch the *new episodes when they air, but Im not watching the encore epps... No way. I cant wait the most for House. I cant wait to see whats going to happen!!! AHH! Its going to be great =)

And I dont know who all still checks their blurtys or anything anymore, mabye a few of you still do Im sure, but some very crazy stuff has been happening to me this year... Ive been hella busy with life and just havent had the best opportunity, or need, or something, to come on here and write, write, write! I bought a journal book to handwrite some entrys, cause I miss doing that too. But some very interesting things have or are happening to me...

Last month, my best guy friend, Mark (whom I have referred to as Mizzark, or the Miz) and whom I have known for the last 12 years told me he was gay... I mean, you think you know somebody, but really sometimes they are hiding something soo deep, that you never see it coming... I am glad for him that now he can live freely and openly as WHO he is. And I think that is very wonderful... And believe me, it answers some of my questions that I have had in the past. Like, why does he not ever want a girlfriend, or to have kids or get married! And other people as well had hints that he was gay... But I didnt... I just didnt ever imagine it possible I guess, and now its possible, its weird... He dont call me anymore, hes always busy... Hes been going to the gay bars and like partying really hard... I understand he wants to explore and stuff, but I feel as if the friend I have always known and loved is gone... And its mainly my fault because I left Indiana... I left him and Trish and my family.

The thing of it all is, they all know why I left and its so Jeremy and I would have a better life where we would be happy! So as with Mark, I can sit back and smile and know that I have made a difference in my future and him too for himself, and remember the good times. I really miss him and Trish and all the kids, and I hope that what we have left doesnt fade away too soon. =(

Ok. Im going outside for a smoke... Gregorys dad has been over here *fixing our bathroom and hes gone to the store or something right now.. Well...... we are hiding out the new kitten because Gregs mom does not like animals! =(( She knows about Evel and stuff, but she doesnt know about the baby, Egypt... Jeremy has been hiding him out in his bedroom... So incase I want to be caught by dad-in-law, I better get on the move.


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06:07:07:07:38:P
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mood -:- tired

Howdy.
(x)Watch your step because everybody else is! )

One can write out of love or hate. Hate tells one a great deal about a person. Love makes one become the person. Love, contrary to legend, is not half as blind, at least for writing purposes, as hate. Love can see the evil and not cease to be love. Hate cannot see the good and remain hate. The writer, writing out of hatred, will, thus, paint a far more partial picture than if he had written out of love.

- Jessamyn West, "To See the Dream, part 3", 1956



Not much for an update right now really... Im really tired from working today and Pirate Master is on and I am ready to go to bed anytime now... So maybe this weekend I will come back here and give ya'll a proper update, k? k. Nite now.


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06:01:07:09:45:A
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From GJ Friday5...
(x)1. favorite cereal and why? Honey Nut Cheerios! They taste great AND good for you!

2. what is the best thing about summer? family vacations; cookouts; being barefoot in the grass; riding with the windows down

3. would you rather have a slurpee or a milkshake? hell yeah- milkshake!

4. If you could be a member of any band/musical group, past or present, what band would it be and why? I would have to say... ? and the Mysterians; because I think being a Mysterian would be kind of mysterious... yeah.

5. Who is your idol? What are they famous for? Eva Cassidy... she is famous for touching the hearts of many with her beautiful music.


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06:01:07:09:37:A
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(x)I dont understand this...

How in the world can I be still on the top10? I havent updated for months... No one even seems to be around here anymore... wth?...

hmm... its like a ghost town, only more in the interweb sense. o_O


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05:31:07:09:53:P
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mood -:- tired

Horoscope + Update! YAY!
(x)Turn around, and you will see that happiness is the shadow right behind you. )
[Full Moon in Sagittarius, Blue Moon for the Western hemisphere]


Hey everyone... Everyone whos anyone whos still around these here parts... I thought I would gleem my presence and to dust the cobwebs off my journals... I STILL miss writing and all that stuff... Life has had me pretty occupied though... I was lucky enough that I got the day off work tomorrow, as our quota is through the roof and everyone got the day off luckily... Money wise it sucks but for peace of mind reasons and REST its GREAT!

First of all, my kittypoo Evel is in the hospital =( He got really sick two days ago and they have kept him there and on fluids to make sure he does ok... Apparently he has pancreantitis (spelling?)... Its not life threatening but if it were to get really bad, then it could be... But I am hoping he is going to be be able to come home tomorrow... Which is also why I am glad of the suprise day off work tomorrow...

Working 7am to 3:45 Mon - Fri is awesome and thats if you can literally squeeze in all the things you need to do in an hour and 15 minutes... So I dont have alot of time to do many things after work... I get home and I have about an hour before my hunny biscuit gets home and then my time is given to my guys *grins*...

I got lucky with tomorrows day off because I can get my kitty from the doctor... I can get out to the University and pick up some admission forms... I can get my house cleaned up before the weekend comes... And I can sit here and get some quality time in on the computer! *YAY*

So I really miss all you peeps out there in bloggy land... I am going to make it a point to come on at LEAST once a week and update... I cant promise that I can get on here everyday like I used to, which would be nice, but I would run out of things to talk about I think... And I think thats what happened before, and before I moved... I was boring myself with my own words... I am sure quite a few of you can relate?!

Anywhoo, its bedtime... Even though I am off work tomorrow and can stay up all night if I wanted to, Im not going to... hehe... I have been up since 6am and I am pretty tired and have been stressed today over my kittygoose... But really the main reason, since you guys are going to twist my arm and wring it out of me, I cant allow my sweetie to go to bed without me... Plus, HE WONT HAVE IT. muahahaha!!! So I got to get my butt in bed... But I will most likely be back tomorrow for some more writin... *hehe* You like that southern typin do ya? ooh yea.

Oh yeah...
Ps... May 17th... Gregory proposed... So those of you who did not catch the news on M'space... I will give more details laterzzz!

*HUGS2ALL*

~x-posted~
kitten/sats/butterphly


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04:04:07:03:07:P
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mood -:- nostalgic
music -:- Jeremy playing PS2

Long time no write!
(x)HI KIDS!!!!

I thought it would be awesome to come here and write a bit... I really miss my Blurty and my LJ so I am officially opening them back up to record my thoughts... But dont worry, I know with keeping up with THREE journals now, it will be almost impossible to write every single day like I used to, but what the hell... I miss some of you guys here and I miss keeping up with your lives... Not many of yous have GreatestJournal, and I really only had a private journal there until I met Gregory... Now he has a GJ and I belong to a fabulous Heroes community there, so I will continue to be active there as well...

So lets see... How can I make an update that can fill you all in on whats been going on without making it a 100 part novel? Lets do a list Mkay? Mkay!

1. I have uprooted and moved myself and Jeremy to Alabama! I quit my wondermous job with Steve and the all famous Ferry St. to begin a family with Gregory and Jeremy in the place I was borned and raised, sweet home Alabama. And to add, I am happier than I have been in many many years =) Now, I just cant wait for my parents to get their asses back here!

2. Even though I thought that a few of my friends would not accept me moving 7 hours away and would never come close to understanding why, they really suprised me and are wholeheartedly accepting of the decisions that I have made the last couple of months... Especially TCream... Her and I hit a rough spot there for a while, but we have come to new terms and a new, more honest and deeper friendship has been born... Miz was a little hurt about the way it came to the surface about my relocating plans, but I am sure in time he will understand why I did what I did. Now, I have great relationships with ALL my friends, near and far, and look forward to many great times to share in the future with them all.

3. I am not working yet, but I am looking... I hope I get the job that I want, but I have to remind myself to be patient and not rush into anything that I am going to hate later on. I know I am a hard worker and Im not liking being unemployed at the moment, but I will find something soon and then all will be well in that area.

4. Jeremy loves it down here... He speaks to his dad occationally on the phone and thats great, but in my own personal opinion, I feel good to know that hes not around his dad as much to make things hard, or to influence him in the way that arent healthy... I will leave it at that.

5. Gregory. There isnt many words in the english language that can define exactly how much this man means to me... Hes kind, hes sweet, hes my every dream come true... And I could sit here all day saying how wonderful he is, so I will copy and paste a little journal entry from his GJ for anyone interested in reading so you can see for yourself. He loves me. )

Finally, I must close for now... I have laundry to finish up and then I am going out to sit on the porch for a while... But you know I will be back as soon as I get another chance to and write...

I would love to hear from anyone whos still hanging around these parts, so drop a bitch a line will ya?!?! (hehehe)
Much love, misses and kisses.♥



~xposted~
kitten/sats/butterphly


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02:15:07:02:02:A
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HELLO EVERYBODY!!!
(x)Well, its important that I come here and make an update...

I never really thought I would be coming here to do this... Well, I assumed one day I would get tired of updating two journals and just minimize and decide on one or the other... Well I really cant do that... There is alot of history contained in my journals [blurty&LJ]... And also, I even quit doing my astrology simply because it was only coming out robotic anymore... I was too busy working and living my life, well, FIXING my life, that I have lost contact with who these journals represent... I have went through substantial changes, and Im continuing to change and better myself every single day... Anyways, the point of this post is to conclude my writings here and to pass on the link to my new active journal -link-http://-kitten-.greatestjournal.com/... I may still come in and see those of you here who dont have Greatest Journal, so you dont have to delete me or anything! =) Also, if you have a MySpace feel free to add me there as well!!! -link-http://www.myspace.com/devilxcake

I love you guys and hope to see some of you at GJ or MySpace!!!



TOODLES!!!


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02:06:07:04:44:A
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(x)"The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or to say a new thing in an old way."

- Richard Harding Davis


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02:04:07:06:17:A
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Word of the day.
(x)roseate \ROH-zee-it; -ayt\, adjective:

1. Overly optimistic; bright or cheerful.
2. Resembling a rose especially in color.

Roseate comes from Latin roseus, "rosy," from rosa, "rose."


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01:29:07:04:17:A
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music -:- Groove Armada - My Friend

(x)I have so much restless energy right now... Its one of those feelings like I know I am supposed to be doing something but Im not sure what exactly... I mean, I have been putting away the laundry thats accumulated in my room... That helps me feel alot better when my room is clean and organised... The past two weeks I have just let things go... Ive been extremely busy and doing things... Planning my trip(s) south and all...

Well, all of a sudden I feel like I cant sit here on my arse and write all night cause I have things to do! Until February 9th I will be hitting the gym 5 days a week... *huge grin* Oh heyell yeah... Then after that I will go only 3 times a week... Spring is coming up and around the corner so I want to be ready for it... I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired and I am hell bent on getting healthier this year... Last year, it was fixing myself mentally... And I honestly believe I succeeded! For once, I used self control and broke free of alot of bad habits, and internally I feel happier... And it seems to be getting better day by day... So now I am going to work on the outside me for a while =) hehe.

Have I told you guys yet that I have found my high school sweetheart over the internet? We have been talking nearly two months now... Its been about 16 years or more since we had seen each other... I will have to talk more about this later *evil grin*

So! Its almost 4:20... You know what that means...


Nite.


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01:23:07:01:24:A
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Word.
(x)censure \SEN-shur\, noun:

1. The act of blaming or finding fault with and condemning as wrong; reprehension; blame.
2. An official reprimand or of disapproval.
3. To find fault with and condemn as wrong; to blame; to criticize severely.
4. To express official disapproval of.


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01:23:07:01:15:A
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(x)"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."

- Thomas Paine, "The Crisis", 1776


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01:19:07:10:16:A
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Royal Bitch: v. 3.0
(x)You know? I was just sitting here and going over my friends page (I miss all you guys here) and of course one of the first things I see is a post from James ex. April... And shes saying how shes left James and shit... Well, read the actual comment here ) and then I will break it down for you... WITH THE TRUTH of the whole matter...

First of all, my brother was never physically abusive to her... I seen her smack him and shit and he would ask her not to do that but she would keep on doing it until she pissed him off to the point he didnt want to be in the same room with her... And if I was him I would have surely wanted to knock her obnoxious ass right out, but thats just me...

And then if you look at the opening sentence, "I've left James".... "IVE LEFT JAMES"... How can some one kick you out if YOU left THEM??? Yeah, strange huh. She says she left him, but then a couple sentences later, he kicked HER and Jacob out in the cold and he didnt have clothes that didnt fit??? Well, why the hell were there clothes on him that didnt fit in the first fucking place??? If it had of been me, the fucking entire United States Army couldnt have gotten me out that door until I had my baby dressed in clothes that fit him for one, and I wouldnt have even stepped out of the house until my ride showed up... Besides, I was here that day (two fucking days before Xmas) and she had been saying all day, "Thats it, Im leaving... Im leaving here... blah blah"... And then saying that she was going to wait until Saturday??? So oh hell no, James wasnt going to allow her to stay here for three more fucking days to torture everyone elseuntil she decided she was going to leave! So he told her that if shes leaving him then he wanted her gone THAT DAY, to not waste no fucking time... If she didnt want to be here then LEAVE... No hanging around making everyone miserable while you sit on your fat ass and do nothing at all... But in NO WAY did he force her or Jacob out the door...

Second, no one EVER blamed her for causing little James problems... But she definitely made matters worse when she would do nothing but yell and scream at little James and then in front of his face love all over Jacob... That wasnt right...

And then comes the comment, "while shoving us out the door he smashed Jacobs toe in the door"....?????????????.... Ok, all you mommies out there... In this kind of situation, if your man; husband; etc. was 'shoving' you out the door and he smashed your ONE YEAR OLD's toe in the door, what would have been your next reaction? A) Laugh B) Ignore it or C) kick their fucking ass for hurting your baby... Um yeah, I would have been jumping on someones head and going straight off... They would have had no eyes left after I had got done with them, so the bitch is lying about that........... obviously...

Sooooo, did she leave James? Or did James kick her out? Did Jacobs toe get smashed in a door purposely by a 250+ lbs. guy, or did it happen due to an incompetent mom who let her one year old run all over the house, fall down a flight of about 15 stairs, and let him play with a broken lamp with pieces of a broken bulb STILL IN THE FUCKING LAMP???

You put the fucking tiny pieces together of this blown out situation and you get a bunch of exaggeration and "feel sorry for me" bullshit... I wanted so bad to comment to her post about this, especially after all these people on her friends list replying and saying oh how sorry they are for her and Jacob and thank god they got out of a bad situation... Well you know, she made shit hard on herself here... She was dirty and never cleaned up after herself... And from what I am told about the way her Grandma is and the rest of her family, they are one big(literally) family of slobs... They love to live in filth up to their necks and dont care who sees it...

Anyway, my family is not like that... She speaks so horribly of my mom and my brother, when if you turned the magnifying glass around on her, you would see that she is no Mary fucking Poppins... She had my mom upset all the time because they would get home from working 9-10 hours and the kitchen would be filled with dirty dishes, trash overflowing, food all over the floor and mushed into the carpet where she would just let Jacob run around and she would never clean up after him... And all this time screaming saying she wasnt going to clean up after no one cause she wasnt nobodys bitch... Well, fuck she would never clean up after HERSELF much less anyone else in the damn house... But yet all of us had to clean up after HER? Uh. UH.

She knows shes lying about all that she said... And my brother never got anymore physically or mentally abusive with her than she did him... I mean come on! She weighs probably 400+ and that is NOT exaggerating!!! Shes bigger than my brother!!! And he was mentally and PHYSICALLY abusing her??? Not only that but she could raise her voice to such a piercing volume that would scare animals from their home in the trees ten miles away for Christs sake...

And all those people who commented to her post saying, "oh Im so glad you got away from that dysfunctional family, rah rah" SHE was the reason we were dysfunctional, because she made everyone fucking miserable... Since she has been gone the air is lighter in this house... People dont wake up to that piercing scream of hers... People dont come home from work anymore and see a filthy house/kitchen... Its alot more pleasant around here... BUT.... We all miss Jacob something aweful... I mean, hes my nephew and always will be... That bitch cant take that away from me... And just like when little James' real mom wouldnt let no one around him the first few years of his life, I will probably not ever get the chance to see Jacob grow up... And he will grow up with a brother that he will never get to know... Jacob will never know his "other" family thats out here in the world that loves him unconditionally... We will all always worry about him because of April and her carelessness...

I will tell you guys that there is no fear to experience that compares to hearing a one year old falling TUMBLING down a flight of stairs right outside your door, and THENNNNN hearing its mother screaming, "OH GOD NO, OH GOD, OH GOD"... That morning I swear to you guys that after I had ran outside my bedroom door and seen MY BROTHER, not APRIL, picking my nephew up off the bottom of the stair case with him screaming, I broke down... I came back in my room and just collapsed beacuse HE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED BECAUSE OF THAT CARELESS FUCKING STUPID BITCH... He could have broken his neck, and I dont know what I would have done if something bad like that (or worse) had of happened that day... And the time I found the broken lamp in her room with a broken light bulb still in the fucker was bad... But him falling down the staircase was a million times worse to me... And this broken light bulb had this huge shard sticking out of it... And where was the lamp sitting? On the floor, next to her bed... Um, hello. And she would lay in there asleep and let him roam all over the room playing??? Itd be a miracle if that poor child lives to see his 5th birthday...

Well, I am really tired of talking about this now... It frustrates me with just the thought of how things were when she was here... And she can sit around and make up all the lies she wants... And she can make a million posts about it if she wants, and all those friends of hers who have no clue about the OTHER side of the story can comment to her and feel sorry for her all day long, but it wont change the fact that behind all those words she writes and behind the closed doors of whoever lives with her that shes fucking dirty, shes a careless mother to her baby, and she has a terrible obsession with food... I give it ten years and you will be seeing her on Maury where they will be going in and cutting a wall out her of house to get her out because shes so obese. End of story.


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01:16:07:03:28:A
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(x)"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

- Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windemere's Fan"


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01:08:07:11:49:P
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(x)"Creating a family in this turbulent world is an act of faith, a wager that against all odds there will be a future, that love can last, that the heart can triumph against all adversities and even against the grinding wheel of time."

- Dean Koontz, "From the Corner of His Eye"


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01:07:07:11:16:P
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music -:- *Early Winter - Gwen Stefani*

(x)Do not fight with those who cannot deliver what you want.-- my horoscope today(Sunday) Those words ring true for me these days... I choose not to confront an issue with a couple of friends of mine because it just seems like it would all be a waste of time... I would never in a million years get my point across, much less be understood by these people...

Lucy and I went to see a psychic yesterday... It was definitely an unusual experience... I believe most of what she said is true, but some of it I am pretty iffy on... I dont know... I believe that being given hints of your future gives you all the more power to change something if you dont like it right? Who knows... Well, she told me right away that I have had a very long line of bad relationships... True... Then she told me that my love chakra is dead... That maybe somewhere along the way, someone hurt me so bad and I put my walls up so hugely that it drained all the love out of me... To a point that it would be impossible to give or recieve love properly... Which in turn, causes my relationships to never work out... So I have been kind of researching how to fix this... Even though she told me I could come in and she can help me balance my chakras, I wanted to begin doing something about it before that... *sigh* And she said that I might be smiling alot or whatever, but behind all of that is an incredible sadness that I supress without even know its really happening... And you know, shes totally right... For a long time I have believed that there was something wrong with me... She was pretty cool overall... Lucys reading was pretty good too... We are planning going back soon.

Well, at least I have alot to look forward to... I am going to be doing alot of travelling this year and its all going to be so much fun!! Well, I basically wanted to write a little about my experience with the psychic... I have to go for now, but hopefully I will be able to come back later and write more since so much has been going on... Soo-oo-oo-n. =) Love yas!


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01:01:07:05:56:A
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(x)Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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12:31:06:04:28:A
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(x)*peeks head in and looks around*

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12:29:06:04:40:A
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(x)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNNI!!!!


I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU GIRL!!!



ps... James says SUP and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO ;)


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12:25:06:03:33:A
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(x)Have yourselves a merry little Christmas. ♥

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12:21:06:11:49:A
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(x)I really cant stand shit talkers... People who THINK they know you... Or they think they know whats fully going on in a situation where they are mad and just need a reason to bitch at someone... Everyone in the house has been shitty lately... Mainly everyone is stressed out over their own particular reasons, of course, but there is also an underlying crisis happening to this family.

While its still fresh in my mind, I found this: Click here for some brief high school drama )
This was written by my brothers girlfriend on the 14th... FIRST OF ALL, it was 7:45 pm... It wasnt even 8 oclock yet and I had no clue Jacob was already in bed... I was having a conversation with Jeremy about something and of course he started backsassing me and I raised my voice... She rings my phone and starts yelling at me that I woke up the baby... The mood I was in, I just hung up on her... I wont put up with her big fucking mouth... Anyway, I could hear her scream so loudly down there that Im sure the neighbors 3 blocks away could hear her... ALSO, she yells at my nephew CONSTANTLY and shes louder than ANYONE in this house... And shes usually yelling at 7 and 8 in the morning when EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING HOUSE IS ASLEEP.. Oh, but she dont care about that...

So, later on I went downstairs and she had the nerve to tell me that if I ''ever wake her baby up again'' that Im ''going to be in a world of hurt'' LOL This fucking made me laugh because I told her to bring it and she didnt move... And I told her that it was only 730 and it wasnt that big of a deal, he'd go back to sleep... It wasnt fucking like it was 2 in the morning or something... He JUST went to bed... Besides, this is MY FUCKING HOUSE... MY FAMILY lives here... I was disciplining MY son, behind MY closed doors of my room... Shes just being a cunt and trying to run this fucking house and it aint happening! Not only all that, I DID apologise to her about it, and that if I KNEW he was already in bed asleep, I would have tried to refrained from being so loud... But NO, that bitch has got to come on here and run her mouth and start shit... Fishing for rescue from her friends(here) who have NO IDEA the OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING STORY... They dont know how SHE yells at my nephew and complains about him constantly... My brother recently caught a post she made on her LJ about him... Saying how hes controlling and how he treats her like shit... Well dammit, shes up his ass 24 - 7!!! Neither of them work and they are together ALL THE TIME! Thats enough to kill ANY two people!

But yeah, she sits on the computer and talks on the phone (talks shit about me on the phone to her friends-- I caught her once) THAT I PAY THE FUCKING BILLS FOR... And that bitch wants to come in THIS HOUSE and eat all the fucking food and talk on the phone and type on the computer and yell at everyone and think that its all about HER???

Ive tried being friends with her... For the most part, I used to like her as a person alot, until she backstabbed me... I know she gets mad at me sometimes, but I overheard her talking on the phone one day to this chick and she flat out said a bunch of shit she shouldnt have and it really pissed me off... I wont forget it either...

So ok... All this is total bullshit... She made a mountain out of a molehill and has NO CLUE how to act like an adult about any of it... She tattled to my parents when they got home for fucks sake!!!

I just figured since she liked to get on the internet here and talk shit about me and my brother, I have the right to state my opinion about the matter myself... Not sure if she meant for that post to be 'friends only' or not, but I seen it... *shakes head* One of these days maybe she'll grow up.


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12:17:06:04:14:A
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Movie Meme...
(x)Stoleded from kanackering!!!!

The quizzy! )


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12:16:06:03:39:P
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mood -:- drained

Something to blog about...
(x)So my friend Miz and his buddy Kyle are driving to (nearby city) to pick up some goodies and the come upon a line of traffic stopped in the road... (He told me this earlier, but it happened last night) Anyways, they notice that there looked like an accident up ahead, and as they got closer it appeared that this car hit a deer and there was blood everywhere, etc... Ok, so Kyle says as they pass the wrecked car and the police car and this mangled deer, "Hey! Did you see that deer?!" And Mark was like, "NO, but did you see Santa???" LMFAO Im sure Kyle was like WTF? And Mark said that he didnt see the deer because he was looking at the cop talking to the guy in the car, who IRONICALLY was dress up like Santa Claus LMFAOOOOOOOO.... Im still laughing about it... Mark joked and said, "that damn Rudolph finally got what was coming to him" hahaha. I thought that was pretty funny... I guy dressed like Santa hitting a deer LOLOL... (dont get me wrong, I hate the thought of the poor deer, but you know what Im trying to say)

Hmm. So in other news, its been for fucking ever since Ive been here to write... Im am just so busy right now that most of the time I just dont feel like sitting here at the computer... Ive been spending my time off from work in front of the TV though. LOL...

So there has been so much going on that I cant even begin to explain it all... I suppose eventually I will... Holidays, my hours at work are doubling, Jeremy, among other things, I just dont have alot of time on my hands like I used to... I really do miss writing like I used to... Plus, I have been hanging out at MySpace quite a bit... Ive found some old friends, made some new ones, and I have to admit that Im not as anti-MS like I used to be either...

You probably cant tell by what I have just written that I am trying to break out of my shell a bit... Im not getting any younger and I dont want to spend the majority of my time locked up in the house... Ive been going to the bars with my friend Lucy and we have been having a blast... Im one of those people that when I am out in public, I am like a magnet for weird or unusual people... Plus I could say I have always had an odd erray of friends in my life... hehe... Keeps life interesting I suppose...

The Miz and I have been working mornings together at my building... Hes filling in for Kat because she needs the time off... But now thats off cause we start working in the R building Monday night... It will be myself, Miz, Marcella, and Maria (damn that was alot of M's) working 5 days a week at the R... This building is fucking HUGE... Seven stories high (I know that isnt super tall but) the view from the roof is awesome! I cant wait to see what the view is going to look like at night when we are in there... And we are just cleaning the first 3 floors right now in the north half of the building... The other half of the building are condos that over look the westside and Purdue that are going up for sale around the $300K margin... VERY NICE and overwhelmingly expensive building it is! Under the condos on the ground level, they will be putting in some shops... Maybe food shops and so on... Right now, the building is still fairly under construction... And for the most part, this is one of my boss Steve's most important clients and we are going to be eventually taking care of the ENTIRE building... So this means that Steves little business that he started a year ago has grown this much and is growing FAST! I cant even imagine what a year from now is going to be like! Damn.

Well my friends, Ive had 12 hours of sleep in 3 days and I am working non stop, everyday until NEXT Friday, so I am going to hop into my warm and comfy, cozy bed and Im going to try and watch the back of my eyelids for as long as the heavens will allow... So I bid you goodnight =)

I promise to come back and write more soon... In the meantime, make me really really happy and leave me a comment! PWEASSSE??? I havent seen a comment in my box for months *sniff* Do I still even have any friends here????? haha just kidding... I miss you guys, I really do... So let me know how things have been! Take care all... BBS!♥


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11:23:06:08:08:A
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Happy Thanksgiving
(x)
Our rural ancestors, with little blest,

Patient of labour when the end was rest,

Indulged the day that housed their annual grain,

With feasts, and off'rings, and a thankful strain.


- Alexander Pope


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11:20:06:09:47:P
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music -:- .Heroes.

(x)If Peter Petrelli dies, I am going to be so very pissed.

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11:13:06:02:06:P
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(x)"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."

- Gene Fowler


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11:13:06:09:37:A
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(x)Well I am going today to Precision Media for an interview and to make a couple of demo cds... Basically its me just reading off some scripts for I dont even know what yet... But yeah, I ran into a guy who used to work for the same radio station I worked at on the westside and he is now the director of operations at PM and told me to come down... He even mentioned giving me copies of my demos so that way if I want to appy again for another station around here somewhere I will have some [recorded] experience... Im just thrilled! I hope it all goes well and hope that I can get some work in soon! xD

More on the job subject... Yesterday was the company photo... G was there, and everyone from work showed up! It was a miracle- haha... But yeah, quite an emotional day for me really... I first had this idea back in September and now it has came and went... G sent me a peek of what its going to look like and OMG... Its is T-Totally freakin awesome... Steve and Janet (my bosses) are going to be soooooooo suprised! And I really dont want to cry in front of all these people, but if Steve cries, Im gonna... lol

And to update a bit on little Tiggy... He finally threw up the last time around 1am... And the milk he'd previously drank didnt settle right in his tummy... Finally I slept next to him all night... I kept waking up and looking at him... I was so scared he was going to stop breathing in the night... But I noticed a couple of times that he had switched positions, and once he was laying right under my elbow... *awwwes* I managed to get him to drink some water and now hes on baby formula... He seems to be doing much much better again...

Ok I need to go and get my shit together... Maybe Ill be back later and report on how my interview went xD


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11:12:06:11:20:P
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mood -:- worried

(x)Well I was going to come on here and make an update but I am not feeling well right now... Jeremy and I found a kitten yesterday, up nearby the railroad tracks and it was so sick and looked so sad I couldnt help but to bring it home... *cries* It would have died if I hadnt of taken it =((

Well it had a pretty rough day yesterday... I am almost certain that the poor little thing has pneumonia but its little eyes were all runny and nearly sealed shut... And the boogies on its nose was all dried and it couldnt breathe! =(( I fucking hate thinking about how aweful of a shape the baby kitty is in...

I have been feeding it milk from a dropper cause I dont even think it was weened yet... But it has no clue what a litter box is because Im sure it cant smell anything due to the congestion... But I have taken a very warm washcloth and have been wiping its little face, as a mother cat would... And Ive nearly got its face cleared up... Its still sneezing alot and he sounds stuffy still, but today there was major improvement in its behaviour...

Well I went down stairs to get some fresh water for it and came back and found it lying in my floor convulsing! =(( It looked like puke and poop both coming out... I instantly thought it was dying right then... I picked it up trying to wipe the stuff from its mouth... I had to take the dropper and suck some stuff out from its mouth... So I called downstairs and Apie came up here... I mean this kitten was limp, looked like what could have been a seizure =((( Is that possible? Now it wont even respond to my voice or anything, but its breathing... And I might add that its breathing alot better than yesterday thats for sure! Plus, its had a good day today... Seemed like it was getting better... It was playing and climbing, and purring *CRIES* And now, hes just laying there looking like hes sleeping... He wont respond to my voice or touch and I am really worried about his fate =((

I am calling this Vet that Ape knows in the morning... I dont want to lose this little guy =(

Does anyone have any idea what could be happening? Could it have been a seizure? Or a reaction because of pnuemonia?

Im so sad. Im going to go.


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+NaViGaTioN+
VieWinG - ~ReCenT EnTrieS~
Go EaRLieR