maestra's Blurty

It's gonna be a bumpy ride
Things will become really rough these coming days...I didn't think that things can actually get more rough that it already is...I don't know whether I'll actually survive this. Last night I decided to end my suffering...I decided to confront my dad about his affair. Well I didn't speak to him about it yet but I sent him an email telling him that I know all about it...he hasn't checked his email so I'm waiting for his reaction. I'm scared, I don't know what to expect. All these negative thoughts have been going around my head...what if he gets a heart attack after reading my email...what if he decides to commit suicide...what if he decides tok ill me...what if he denies it...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...I don't know what to do...what will I tell him???? Please pray for me, I'm really scared:(

THere is a God...it's amazing how He works through the most unlikely beings. This afternoon I spoke with my boss..my boss...remember? the one who's planning on making my life miserable to punish me for messing with her two years ago...well apparently she really wasn't planning on punishing me...she changed my load...she's giving me two preps instead of the original three preps. I also told her about my problem...it was a good thing I spoke with her...I was able to vent out what I was feeling. i've been keeping this to myself for more than a month now and it has been eating me up inside...talking to her did me good. I couldn't help but cry...for once I actually felt someone who's actually going to be there for me. It's strange..I know I've been saying mean things about her but this afternoon I saw a different side of her...and I thank God for using her.

I'm really scared...I don't know what'll happen. I don't know whether I'll actually survive after this:(

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: The MAn Who Sold the World