maestra's Blurty

I'm not speaking as a teacher here...I'm speaking as a bum who does nothing but eat, sleep and watch TV...I'm on my summer vacation right now and I feel really guilty for having the kind of life that I have right now...hehe...I promise to be more productive next week...well I'll try:)

Things here at home are really crazy. I feel really awful cause I'm caught in the middle of things. I know I used to complain about having a very predictable and boring life so now God really shook things up...well actually he didn't just shake things up, he turned my world upside down...threw it around a couple of times perhaps and dipped it in cow crap...my world's a mess. My two sisters and my mom have been fighting for the past few days...my younger sister's pissed with my elder sister and vice versa....younger sis asked for mum's help ended up being reprimanded by mum...now she thinks mum hates her...mum thinks younger sister hates her...BLAH!!!! This morning I went to church alone just because they were all burning with hatred in their hearts...then I felt really awful for appearing all perfect and fine when in fact I've also burning with hatred in my heart since I discovered that my dad's having an affair with my god mother. He doesn't know I know...I know I should confront him tell him that I know but i'm really scared. I wouldn't want to listen to him explain things to me...I may have to face things that I can't deal with right now...it would make me more miserable...but I know I should talk to him about it before he sinks deeper into the hole he's been digging for himself.

CAN SOMEBODY TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS PLACE???

...well actually somebody offered me an all expense paid escape to texas but I'm too scared to actually accept the offer. I'm hopeless...I guess I'll never be able to leave this hell hole I'm in right now. I'm just thankful cause this hell hole isn't really that much of hell...it's really strange cause come to think of it I think I'm actually handling things well. I guess I've finally accepted that life sucks sometimes and all you have to do is wait for it to stop being sucky (is there such a word???)

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Somewhere Out There (Our Lady Peace)