| 5:05p |
I'm in love
Yesterday I had a hand in breaking my some of my students' hearts. We had our deliberations...we decided as to who would pass, who would take summer classes and who would have to go and look for another school. As a subject teacher you'd have a very easy time judging students...but being a class moderator the entire process of making a decision that would greatly affect the future of my kids is heart wrenching. Imagine, I had 17 students who had failing marks at the end of the school year only one of them was spared from taking the summer, 15 are required to take summer classes and one student will be asked to leave the school. What makes this worse is that I've witnessed how my boys worked their butts off just to pass all their subjects...it's just sad to know that it was not enough:( Sometimes I wonder are grades really valid measurements of what students learn in school?
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One reason why I didn't want to become a teacher because ever since I was a kid the people around have always had this notion that teachers never marry. PEople say that teachers fall in love with their students that's why they tend to forget about themselves and it's usually too late before they find out that they've missed out on a lot of things in life. They say teachers grow old alone. Who would want to become a teacher with that kind of impression??? I'm starting to get scared because with the way things are going now in my life it looks like everything they've been saying is actually true. In my first year of teaching I told everyone that teaching is just going to be a temporary thing for me...I figured it'd be a good way to earn money...but I don't know what happened between then and now...right now I get this really unexplainable pleasurable feeling of fulfillment in what I'm doing. I've fallen in love with my students:(
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I badly need a boyfriend! I spend most of my life at work...it's kinda ironic I'm surrounded by boys howcome I don't have a boyfriend...hehe...the answer is easy...I won't be finding my boyfriend at my work place because the boys around me are 9-10 years younger than I am!!! I feel so wretched sometimes...since their is a scarcity of boys my age in my work place I sometimes find myself being attracted to some of my students...it's pathetic really...and very dangerous...I can go to jail for this but man...can you blame me??? There are some guys in the faculty who are around my age but it's kinda sad that sometimes i meet students who are a lot younger these guys but are more matured than these co teachers of mine...man it really sucks!
I have a dream student. He's not really good looking but he's very intelligent. Whenever he speaks people really listen to him...sometimes I think he's more matured than I am. There was one time when I was in panic and he was the one acted like an adult...he calmed me down and told me that everything is going to be fine...he's 9 years younger than me but he has the mind of a guy who's 9 years older than me. We spoke once about his love life and he told me that he no longer wants to fall in love because he knows that he'll only get hurt...I don't know what happened to him that made him say that. It's sad...girls his age don't see the gold mine in him. You know what makes it more sad... girls like me spend their whole lives looking for gold mines like him. I envy the girl who'll win his heart. |