maestra's Blurty

"Am I living it right?"
All the worries about war and death has got me thinking...am I living my life the way I should live it...am I making a difference in this world...am I just this insignificant speck of dust in this face of the earth? That was a lot of questions I know but I'm really wondering...if I die today would I be able to say that I've lived my life well?

For the past years I've been obssessed with this delusional thought that someday I'd be someone great...someone famous...a pop icon like Britney Spears perhaps or a singer/songwriter like Sheryl Crow....or maybe a witty writer like Jessica Zafra or an angsty poet like Emily Dickinson...I have all these dreams of greatness, no wonder I'm depressive cause looking at the rate I'm working towards this greatness it looks like the fulfillment of my dreams won't happen in this lifetime. I'm turning 25 this year...I'm a quarter of a century old and yet sometimes I feel as if I haven't really lived my life yet. Am I living this life right? If not, when and how will I start living?

I've been teaching for three years now. I've had around 350 students and I wonder...did they learn anything from me? I think the answer to this question is the basis of the answer to the previous question I brought up. I'm thinking...if only a quarter of my students would come up to me and tell me that I've made a difference in their lives and somehow I've taught them a lesson or two that's when I can finally say that I'm living my life right. IT'd mean that everything I've been working for is actually worth something. Am I making sense? Well now that the war has begun I think at a time like this making sense isn't really that important anymore...hehe.