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Hey Love by Jason Mraz |
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This morning I had the most wonderful surprise:) Someone proposed to me...well it's a really long story and since I'm a bum and as of this moment I have all the time in the world to babble about this strange relationship I'm in I'll narrate this long story...hehe.
I know it's going to sound really stupid...pathetic even...lol...well I'm in a cyber relationship. I met him around four year ago. I didn't really intend to get involved since at that time I thought that only stupid people fall in love with people they haven't even seen before...well it turned out that I'm actually one stupid girl...lol. We started out as each other's sounding board...we talked about anything and everything...then we became each other's confidante...I know the idea of having a stranger as a confidante sounds really silly but it was actually a good thing for me...I got to vent out my frustrations in life, my problems regarding my loved ones, my crazy plans and my dark secrets without having to worry about being laughed at and ridiculed...oh well maybe he laughed at my crazy ideas but he didn't get to laugh at my face...and it was a also good because he didn't get to judge me...he looked at my issues objectively. It didn't take long 'til we became good friends. We'd talk for hours...I told him things I can never tell my friends and my family. After around six months he disappeared...I was thinking he probably got tired of chatting so he ditched me...I didn't see him for almost a month and it drove me crazy...I was so worried cause I was afraid something bad might have happened to him or something so I kept on sending him emails...I know it was crazy of me to actually wait but I did...even I don't know what happened to me when I allowed myself to be subjected to the torture of waiting for nothing. Well after a month of waiting I got an email from his mom...at first I thought it was kinda weird...then I got scared…why the heck would his mom send me an email? Apparently he got into a car accident...he broke his legs and he had to go through rehabilitation. After a couple of weeks I got an email from him, that's when I realized that something was actually happening between us...he told me he met Christ. I never told him I’m a Christian and I never told him that from the start I knew that one thing that wouldn’t allow us to be involved romantically, aside from the fact that we’re like poles apart, is the fact that we don’t share the same faith, he’s Catholic and I’m Protestant. He told me that I somehow led him to Christ, when he saw the emails I sent him he was overwhelmed by the concern I showed him and it convinced him that we met for a reason…he thinks I’m God sent. It scared me, I used to have all these excuses but when the time came when it was obvious that God was the one working in us, it terrified me. He said he’s in love with me and I finally had enough courage to admit that I was also starting to fall for him.
So we’ve been in this “relationship” for around three years and in those three years there have been a number of times when I wanted to call it quits because being in a long distance relationship is like not being a relationship at all since you never see each other, all you have are words exchanged through email, chat or phone conversations. Well these past few weeks have been like those times, we haven’t spoken in a couple of weeks, I’ve been sending him emails but he always claims he’s too busy to check his email, so I was quite sure that our end is getting nearer. Last week we spoke and he said we needed to talk about something I wrote him on one of my emails, to tell you frankly I couldn’t even remember what I’ve been writing but he sounded serious so I figured he probably wants to end this stupid relationship we’re in. This morning I called him to ask when we can have time to talk about important things, before I even got the chance to ask him about it he started talking about quitting his job, flying over to the Philippines, meeting up with me, marrying me, getting a house by the beach and living a peaceful life with me and our kids. I didn’t know what to say, he caught me by surprise. I asked him whether he’s sure he’d want to do that, he said “yes”. He asked me whether I’m up to it, I said “yes” so we’re getting married.
He wants to marry me, can you believe that??? I can’t, but I’m happy he does! He said he just has to wait ‘til his lease on his apartment expires four months from now, after that he’d be free to do everything he said he’d want to do. I need a sound mind to figure things out, I don’t have one right now being excited and scared at the same time LOL, should I believe him? Should I take him seriously? Nobody knows me the way he does, he’s the only person in this world who really understands me and knows who I really am. I’ve been praying for this moment but now that it is here I’m scared to death. Why does life have to be this complicated???
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