this is babylon's journal

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
2:10 pm - on the subject of dying
my wela has become a frail little woman. she needs help getting up off of the couch. she needs a "food guard" ( really a bib) when she eats. i hate every time i go home now because i know she's slipping closer and closer to death. and that thought produces this huge ball of discomfort in my throat all the way down to my stomach. deep and further spreading throughout my entire body. i dont want to lose her. i know that the body is temporary. you can seperate the person from the body. she's ready to die. i don't think that she even wants to live anymore. it'll take her ten minutes or more to even recognize me. me, the granddaughter how spent most of my life in her house. i can't take this. it's like she's already gone. she's just wasting away. her hands are cold. soft and frail. if i hug her too hard i might bruise her, like ripe fruit. i want her strong and tired. yelling at me from the kitchen to do my homework or to help her make dinner as my welo mocks her out of sight. her putting me to be on nights that my father was out. reassuring me that yes, you daddy will be back soon. go to sleep, sara. go to sleep. wrapping me tight in the blankets. i would hear her wobble down the stairs as i fought sleep.

(comment on this)

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
9:17 pm - oh oh oh oh i dont wanna go
so i got an email from an old friend. i havent talked to her in forever. i haven't wanted to talk to forever. it's so strange because.. i dont know.
at that point when were friends i really did love her. i loved her so much that i could ever imagine having closer relationship with someone EVER. but i have absolutely no motivation to even respond to her. I have absolutely no motivation or desire to have a relationship with her. i know that she could never, never understand why. she'll never understand that with each awful action so took to hurt others, and my lord there were so so so many, i saw what she would do to me eventually. eventually she would treat me like i was a worthless piece of shit and i meant nothing to her. eventually she would completely betray all the trust i ever had in her and of course tell everything thar i confided in her to a meaningless boy and a meaningless relationship. she could never understand that i knew her better than herself and that i would be, despite all of her well intentioned words, one of her greatest VICTIMS.

sometimes i think about her, and everything that we shared and how truely truely i loved her, because we shared so much in common and i thought she was true.

it is inevitable that in a deep loving relationship you will eventually see the worst of a person. and i have and i am still friends with most.but what i have seen is beyond the worst.....and i have seen it in two people. and although they never directed their awful actions towards me i certainly wasnt going to stick and around to find out if they really did "love me more".

(comment on this)

Sunday, October 9th, 2005
11:46 pm - can i save myself first?
oh oh oh, whats going on now?
its official. i can't remember your smell. relief, victory, strength. yes strength. i made sure that i grabbed on and went through it. i think the reason why i gave you so much attnetion was because it was easier and didnt mean as much with my family in the total disarray it is in, it is less painful to focus on you. but now thats over and i can focus on whats important. my mom, my wela.
my sister.

my mom thinks that your ex fucked you up so much. she told me you were a risk while everyone else said no, you're safe. you are good. you are trustworthy. my mom didnt have to say told you so.

i dont think you know how much, how very very much you hurt me. i don't hold it against you. i don't think you can really consider other people, truely consider how YOUR actions do deeply effect those around you. and perhaps in your opinion you really did come out of this situation unscathed. but i didnt. i got burned. and i got burned bad. and you arent this evil ex boyfriend. you are just so very very human. like me. and if we did stay together maybe it would've been i that broke you, and i who was selfish and completely compassionless. i can't be around you to often though, i know that. its like poking the wound open....eventually i will bleed again. i am not sorry that any of this happened. it made me realize how much i truely value myself above anyone one else. i will always love me more. i dont love you. you werent the worst thing to happen to me. in reality this whole situation is a small bump. its actually kinda sad because as sick and crazy as it sounds all the fights and drama was exiciting but so....wasteful.

(comment on this)

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
3:39 pm - i scored 149...damn!
Put an X by the films you've seen.
If you get more than 70, you're a film whore.
Copy and repost. Place your score in the subject line.

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x ) Boondock Saints
(x ) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) The Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Garden State
(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x ) Saw
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
Total here: 10 My Total: 14

(x) 50 First Dates
( ) Jason X
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Resident Evil I
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
Total here: 11 My Total: 29

( ) The Village
(x) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) 13 Ghosts
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going On 30
( ) I Robot
(x) Dodgeball
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came A Spider
( ) Deep Impact
Total here: 4 My Total: 38

(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Identity
Total here: 19 My Total: 58

( ) Lone Star
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) Independence day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty
( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
Total here: 4 My Total: 69

( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) X-Men 1
(x) X-Men 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
() Ring of Fire
( ) The Hot Chick
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
(x) Ray
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
Total here: 5 My Total: 80

(x) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
( ) Hitch
( ) Back Door Sluts 9
( ) Anal Acres 1
( ) Anal Acres 2
( ) B-Cup Divas
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
(x) Air Force One
( ) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(x) The People Under the Stairs
(x) Blue Velvet
(x) The Sound of Music
(x) The Parent Trap (the original)
(x) The Burbs
(x) The Terminator
(x) Empire Records
() SLC Punk
() Meet Joe Black
( ) Wild Things
(x) A Clockwork Orange
( ) The Order
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Amelie
Total here: 21 My Total: 104

(x) Mean Girls
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) The Incredibles
() Collateral
() The Fast & The Furious
( ) 2 Fast 2 Furious
( ) Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
() Closer
Total here: 7 My Total: 108

(x) Titanic
(x) Saved!
(x) Bowling For Columbine
(x) Farenheit 9/11
(x) The Sixth Sense
() Artificial intelligence (AI)
() Love Actually
( ) Shutter
( ) Ella Enchanted
(x) Princess diaries 1
( ) Princess diaries 2
( ) Constantine
(x) Million Dollar Baby
( ) Envy
(x) Eurotrip
( ) Malibu's Most wanted
(x) Big Daddy
( ) Black Sheep
(x) The Breakfast Club
(x) West Side Story
Total here: 12 My Total: 119

(x) A Christmas Story
( ) Spanglish
(x) Pulp Fiction
( ) Sleepover
(x) The Evil Dead
(x) Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( ) The Seed of Chucky
(x) Vanilla Sky
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
(x) Interview With The Vampire
(x) The Crow
(x) Purple Rain
(x) Reservoir Dogs
(x) Wayne's World
Total here: 9 My Total: 131

(x) Wayne's World 2
() 21 Grams
(x) Blow
(x) Edward Scissorhands
(x) Clerks
(x) Beauty and the Beast
(x) Guess who
( ) Monster In-Law
(x) Elf
(x) Stuart Little
(x) Stuart Little 2
(x) Mall Rats
(x) Chasing Amy
(x) Dogma
(x) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
(x) The Big Lebowski
(x) Tommy Boy
Total here: 13 My Total: 145

(x) Beetlejuice
() The Last Samurai
(x) The Amityville Horror
() The Aviator
(x) Romeo + Juliet
( ) Barbershop
( ) Beauty Shop
(x) Legally Blonde
( ) Legally Blonde 2
( ) The Forgotten
( ) Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen
() The Grudge

my total: 149

(comment on this)

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
5:59 pm - it'll only get better
oh i am weak. i gave in to it. i did not give into him, or the stupid idea that he would say " i was stupid and wrong and i didn't mean anything that i said. i want you back. it hurts to be without you." i gave into the idea of love, the idea of being back again. laying there in his bed, having him hold me, it meant nothing. i knew it didnt to him or me. i just so dearly wanted that warmth. that indescribable comfort that surrounded me when we slept together. ok i'm lying. i wanted it back for a second. i wanted him back for a second. i shouldnt have. and because i still love him a little, that love is letting me be too kind, too loving still. he doesn't deserve it. he broke my heart. so we had that one night.maybe it was the setting. maybe it was the fact we were two lovers for a moment, and he was crying. why did he cry? he told me he missed me and he still loves me. how dare he. what words to say to me when i've been drinking to long and thinking enough to fill whole years up.such a dangerous situation. and then the fury that came, the saltiness on his lips as a kissed him....

now its out of my system. at least that is what i keep on telling myself. i'm moving on. but it's so painful knowing that with all these boys around me, i still want him. it'll pass, and then i wont be so kind to him anymore. because i won't love him. then the hurt is suppose to stop, i'm told. well i'll have to see about that.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
12:40 am - at least it was...
yea i'm trying to see the good in this. I've seen worse shit. i've been through worse. it can't believe that i love him. i dont know if he loves me anymore or if he ever did. its just the sheer unexpectedness of it all. he acts like he loves me, we even make plans in the future and then at 4am he just lets me go. no more relationship. and oh god it hurts. it hurts so much i stop breathing every so often. i have the worst luck. why did he break up with me? did i not see what was going on? was it not going to work out because i couldn't see it coming? why doesnt he want to stay with ME?! i'm trying so hard to understand but i know it won't stop the incredible hurt. and as much as i try to stay constantly angry i swing down and remeber his smell. how good it was to be in the same bed. i never slept better. why doesnt he want me?i will get over him. i will. i will not love him. it'll happen. i wont love you anymore the hurt will go away. do you even love me?did you?i've been tricked and hurt so many times. everyone told me you were true and loyal and decent.and now it is you who has cut me the deepest.NO I AM NOT OKAY AND NO I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR FRIEND. i cannot wait until the day comes when i think of you and it doesnt even make me twinge inside. if today is the worst it'll get then this broken heart thing has nothing on me. i've been through worse. i'll go through worse. the only thing you had on me was the element of surprise. i dont forgive you and no i dont want to be friends. i'm not friends with someone i am in love with. i deem you responsible for my broken heart. you dont deserve anything from me. and it's so awful because as much as i wish i could simply hate you i cannot. because i still love you. i do. but the day will come that i wont love you anymore, and that - that will be the best day.

i dont know why you would want to talk anymore. you dont want to end things on a bad note. you dont get to decide anymore. the thought of talking to you makes me want to puke and cry. a part of me wants to hear you say you fucked up and you dont mean it and you take it all back. oh god that would be wonderful. but as much as i love you, and i i do love you something wicked, i love me more. I LOVE ME MORE. you cheapened what we had by ending drunk and stupid. you didnt even have enough respect for me to be sober. i could never be with you.

I will get over you. I will. and I never regret loving you. But remeber this there will be a day when I do not love you anymore. and what a great loss that is to a soul, to have one less person love them.

current mood: indescribable

(comment on this)

Saturday, July 16th, 2005
12:15 am
i thought that i was pregnant today. the chances were so incredibly thin, but i was convinced for 5 hours i was. i wasn't panicked. nor was i scared. i had made my decision. and i was to buy a pregnancy test tomorrow morning. and then 9 months later i would have a baby.
in my mind it was as simple as that.
it was a matter of getting through the first 9 months, and then everything else happens.
but now,
there is no need for such thoughts. my body said no. and i am still calm.
around a year ago i first kissed bob ellis.
now he's just an idea. existing in europe.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
12:58 am - is this really love?
is love blind? or should it be love makes you blind? i try to invision what could possibley make someone subject themself to constant hurt and abuse with the small possiblity of a moments happiness. no scratch that

it's awful now that i look back on this whole situation. i'm sitting in the cold in front on the library wondering how it got this far. i can hear what she's saying, and i know its total and complete crap. "PLEASE listen to yourself" - i'm screaming it over and over in my head, hoping in vain that she will actually hear me. she stopped listening to me a long time ago. how i lost her....what a tragedy. it's strange to think that a friend could break your heart. all the moments we shared, breaking off bits of ourselves and feeding it to each other. no one knew more. the secrets told with our blood on fire. i was cut and she didnt try to stop the bleeding. she knew better. all that blood was bad, poisoned, acid. she knew more than anyone that i needed to bleed and be dry, dry to the bone. then she filled me up. the same hurt, the same terror, the same deseperate need to appease - appease anyone, just to have the satisfaction of knowing we please someone finally. she let me drain myself of everyone else and filled my drained skin with the truth, with myself.

and to think that when i tried to do the same, tried to let her be clean of all the parasites, all the shit and garbage poured into her porcelain skin, she left me. was i blind? was i blind to think a friends love was stronger than......stronger than......stronger than a liars vow?

(comment on this)

Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
7:32 pm
i'm gonna start writing love letters. maybe then i'll fall in love. no fuck that. i really dislike that pharse "fall in love". fuck that shit. how does one fall into it? its not possible.

back to my idea. i'm gonna writie love letters. facebook will help me in this endeavor. everyone wants an illusion. i'll give a few that. i'll give myself that. and the thing its, i'm half serious. i'll do it becuase i always wanted that secret admirer shit. i wanted to know that someone wants me without me knowing it.
and everyone wants that when they watch the movies. but in real life that shit creeps people out and is called "stalking"
more evidence of how movies are not reflections of life
they are reflections of human desire and fantasy.

current music: postal service - recycled air

(comment on this)

Monday, May 16th, 2005
1:36 am - "Nobody knows anyone. You will never ever know me. "
i find myself impossible.
i can't believe how things have crumbled.apart.torn into pieces.
coming into college i had higher expectations...i'd know more, read more, developeinto this worldly person. i thought i would be more. someone better, smarter, more eloquent....just this different. what do i do?waste everything. waste time, money, brain cells. when did i become so plain? am i a drone? drinking, fucking, smoking so greedily.

i'm becoming numb to the world. i am afriad that if i searched deep enough i would be disgusted with myself. i drink to numb myself. i smoke to become aimless. i screw because the physical is so easy to manipulate. fuck the intangible. give me drink, give me something to fade into. give me a man. i'll fade into him. i'm slit my wrist drain my blood and pour it all, IT ALL into him. please let me rub myself thin and transparent. i'll become a shallow reflection of him. it'll be easier to be someone else then be me.

current music: rilo kiley - rest of my life

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, May 2nd, 2005
11:03 pm
with my current voice of reason constantly irrupting me
i am left a little more sure of my decision
and suddenly i realize:
this is sara mari the adult
the doubt is real
the anger is raw
and fuck you: i won't say "i'm sorry"
i am not at all
i regret nothing and i am so surprised
surreal as it is
the comfort knowing that you were wrong
ha, ill laugh
i'll close my eyes
and i am reserved to my position.

i shed my skin and those attatched who have disappointed me one too many times

(comment on this)

Sunday, May 1st, 2005
1:54 pm
its amazing how much people can let you down, cut you so deep, and you just wait until you can get back to good.
this is the change the point where i leave people behind. i know that i have hurt people. have i disappointed people in the same manner.

(comment on this)

Monday, February 21st, 2005
9:21 pm
Stolen iTunes Survey....

How many songs in total? 2972
Sort by Song Title - first and last?
1/2 Full - Pearl Jam
Zurich is Stained - Pavement

Sort by Artist - first and last?
Zoot Sims

Sort by Time - first and last?
Ask For Janice - 0:11 - Beastie Boys
Delirious - 1:38:39 - Eddie Murphy

Sort by Album - first and last?
A night at the Hipopera - The Kleptones
Young Liars - TV On the Radio

Top Ten Played Songs:
10)The Gloating Sun - The Shins
9) House of the Rising Sun - The Rollong Stones
8) Painted Black - The Rolling Stones
7) Cowboys - Portishead
6) Seven Years - Norah Jones
5) Anger Management - Lovage
4) Let Go - Frou Frou
3) Snake Charmer - Rage Against the Machine
2) Times like these - Jack Johnson
1) I'll be there - Jackson Five

Find "sex" - how many songs show up? 9
i wanna be a homosexual- Atom and his Package; Sexual Healing - Ben Harper; No Sex - Chris Rock; Sexyplexy - Jack Johnson; Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye; Man-Size Sextet - PJ Harvey; Superfunkycalifragisexy - Prince;Sex Supreme- Tenacious D; Sex Drive - Tricky

Find "death" - how many songs show up? 4
Death of Seasons - AFI; Death or Glory - the Clash; Death Scream - Death Cab for Cutie; Tomorrow's Dead - Portishead

Find "love" - how many songs show up? 148

Ten Recently Played Songs:
10) Sarabande - Yo Yo Ma
9) Self Titl 8 - Rage Against The Machine
8) Break Ya Kneck -Busta Rhymes
7)Grey Gardens - Rufus Wainwright
6) Lee - Tenacious D
5) Three Easy Payments - Mitch Hedberg
4) The Beautiful People - Marilyn MansoN
3) Smoke Two Joints- Sublime
2) Sonic Infusion (radio edit) - Mudhoney
1) Let Go - Frou Frou

(comment on this)

Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
11:28 pm
i think that i am gonna stop using blurty soon
i hardyly ever use it
and its kinda pointless now
i wanted to be able to use it for writing it but little good that has done

so this is where everything lays
i am mediocore
everything i do is half assed
something happened this year
all the air, the motivation was sucked right out of me,
i have nothing to show for for years and one quarter in college except for mediocore grades and not enough credits to graduate in anyone major.
i am tired of myself
i feel like i left myself out to pasture and forgot to bring myself back in
i feel alone very alone
it's all my doing
i find myself constantly disappointed in my friends angry with them for not helping
not holding me up
because it seems like now days i am doing everything in mypower to fall down
and fall down hard
i am stuck at home with my emotionally akward father.
i get angry with him too
when i was little he wasn't so distant when it came to emotions
he was so supportive and he knew what to do
and then it was BAM 13 father doesnt know how to deal with me
and i am mess
right now i am as close to being a total mess as i have ever been in my life
i know that beth is willing to help me in any way possible but its not right in my head to ask her for help
i dont even know what help i need
sometimes i just lay in bed
ill watch the sun chase the hours
and i wish to just be shallowed up by something bigger and more hungry than i
and maybe i can be okay, maybe then everything will be alright
i know that if i could be with my mom right now i would be better getting though all this this
oh shit i dont know what exactly is going on in my head
im just so self destructive and irresponisible and angry
i am so angry
i have all these words stopping in my throat
i dont know what they are
my mind is not processing them
they just stay stuck in my throat choking me
somedays i am so choked that hours fly by me and i feel nothing
nothing at all

(1 comment | comment on this)

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
11:25 am - preparing for a life living under a rock
so news just broke that Kerry conceded.

currently i am packing my civil liberties away because by the time bush is done i wont need them

and to all of you that voted for Bush because of the gay marriage issue:
thanks for hating someone enough to jepordize the rest of mine and my childrens future.
thanks alot.
and also thanks for ruining the education system because its not gonna get better only worse.

i cannt even think, my stomach is wreching.
i put so much in this. fuck

(comment on this)

Thursday, October 28th, 2004
4:41 pm
i dont even know why i bother with this thing. i dont even like to use it.
alas i keep it in hopes of becoming witty
or funny.
not possible i suppose.
recent things:
1. my car towed. the result: i am in considerable debt now and hate the city of athens parking enforcement division.
2. have started to hang out with jeff again.....oh joy *sigh*
3. have been getting creepy crushes on boys 3 years younger than me... inappropriate to the t
4. full fledged "singleton"...
5. completely prepared for the real world but am in no way looking forward to it..

and other witty things sure to come.
those of you at OU should be in awe of my awesome costumes both of kill bill inspiration
go-go yubari :kill bill I
o-ren ishii: kill bill I

(comment on this)

Friday, October 8th, 2004
12:06 pm - this a first time for everything
i got a prefect score in my spanish essay
i have never gotten a prefect score on my test
at any time in my life
so fucking congratulate me cause i'm am motherfucking sweet*-sweet!*

(comment on this)

Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
10:40 am - keep your head up
so i'm trying to not bury myself in worry and grief.
but jesus, what do i do with all this new shit that has happened.
i mostly blame it on my stepdad.
i hate him.
and it is so strange. i loved him very much before all this awful awful shit that happened this summer. i did love him like my stepfather.
and he has ruined everything. my mother, my sister, and me.
how could he be so blind to give into his fucking juvinile rage. what a fucker.
he uses my sister to manipulate my mom. he tries to come back saying he has changed and then when my mom tell him to waits he goes back to the same old shit like before. yea fucking right you have changed.the only thing you have changed, brian, is our family. you have, in one single night, ruined our family. i will never forgive you.
i sincerely dispise you and i hope that you do change. but not as part of my family.
you will never, never regain my trust, and i want you to suffer for your selfish actions.
fuck you.
you havent suffered enough

(comment on this)

Sunday, September 19th, 2004
6:06 pm
about an hour ago i dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft of jersey's apartment complex. i have no spare keys. i am completely sober, and was at the time of the key dropping. am totally baffled.
currently my car is parked in a 24 hour spot. i am hoping and praying that they do not tow me tommorrow.

my luck is hilarious. i cant even feel pissed. i mean who else does this shit happen to? so ridiculous.

life's trying to defeat me. im just laughing back.

(comment on this)

Monday, August 30th, 2004
6:35 pm - dreams of athens
i leave for athens in two days. excitement, hope, joy.home. i love that town. i love my school.

so sunday, not first thing in the morning but 3pm. my dad and i went down to athens to move in a majority of my shit. i say shit because that is what we took down, my shit.
ok not really.
i just have so much junk and things not necessary. at all. so when i go back to athens wednesday i have to go thru all the junk and decided what i do and do not nedd before i get my stuff in order and put away in my neew apartment-----uptown!

in other news robby, the sweet baby, had is birthday party saturday. he was such a good boy. so darling. but jesus mary and joseph there were way too many kids in our tiny split level. like 20 children under the age of seven.

strangely enough maggie didnt come. which she said she would. and hasnt called me at all. i think that she wants me to leave and not see me. how messed up is that.

oh here is a story that distrubed me
what the fuck
anyways, paramedics arrived to a home in florida to a call of a woman having trouble breathing. the paramedics found a 700lb woman sitting on the couch. when they tried to help her sit up they found that she had grown into the couch. Appearently they woman had been sitting on the couch for five years and had not gotten up. As a result her skin had grown into the fibers of the couch. The smell was so bad from her five years worth of shitting on the couch that the paramedics had to wear breathing appratausi to assist in moving her 700lb body along with the couch she had grown into. the paramedics tried to get her out of the house through the door, which they had widen several feet to no avail. eventually they ahd to cut a hole in the wall of the house to get her onto a man-made platform on a semi trailer. she was finally transported to a hospital to have the couch surgically removed, but died during the procedure.

this arises many, many many questions
leave yours

current music: graduation day- kayne west

(comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page