Blurty for Melissa.
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Sunday, September 28th, 2003

Time:10:59 am.
Mood: depressed.
Music:reel big fish - scotts a dork.
yeah.. my life lately.. has just been a huge ball of depression. it not even interesting depression. its just low self esteeem + being a loser + the never ending search for love = me. i duno.. i guess theres more than that really going on in my mind. but those are the main reasons. not very exciting. yeah. i didnt think so. i duno, i was talking to joe last night and he was like, 'you worry to much.' and i realized that really is the truth. i mean. i oworry about fucking everything. i worry about like 600 different people. and i act like what people say about me dosent faze me. but really it kills me more inside... and i dont even realize it anymore. i seem to have a way of twisting everythign around for the bad too. kims like you should try not to worry so much. and i duno.. i cant stop worrying... i'll go insane. i have to worry. then id have to worry about not worrying. god i need something to slap me every time i worry. but anyways. lately i have been really into scott. we went to the mall on ?thursday? and and thats when i realized i liked him... i mean... not only is he sexy as shit. but i duno.. we agreed on alot.. then when i went home and talked to him on the computer, i found out that he was a virgin.. i duno.. he dosent SEEM like one but i asked joe and he said he was too... so i guess he is. a hot virgin.. oyu dont find to many of those around anymore. but yeah, he said something else that i really liked but at this moment, i have a headache and i cant remember. so i went tto blazers friday. that was fun. me and kim and raelyn and shawna and eryn had grind trains goin evey ten seconds. and this black kid are like... are you lesbians?????!!!?!?!! and we all said yeah. and hes like your tooo good lookin to be lesbians. but anyways, kim likes tim and she convinced tim to go there that night, well what do ya know, he broght his girlfriend. thats like the epipany of an asshole. but yeaH... thats really all that happen---- wait no!!! i got a hgole in my pants at the croch when i was dancin and i went around showing people my lips. hahahhahaha.. that was some funny shit. okok.. that was all that happenmed there. thwen i got home.... and just started balling my eyes out... eric got me through it... hes one of the very few i can still... trust i guess... yeah so then kim called me the next day pleading for either an exuse not to go to blazers with this.. what i would like to think of as a rapist. and so she decided to go, but i had to come too. so i did... eric scottt and james were there. !YAY! nothing really interesting happened. just rapist kissed kim. i was all depressed. eric yelled when i said i was fat. everyone was throwing shit down kims shirt. ARRRG! ERIC GAVE THE RAPIST HALF POWER OVER KIM! dude.. that was so mean. i would have killed eric. kim dosent even like him. she liked james. :X and i touched scotts ass :O thats pretty much it. oh yeah.. i rememberd how to skate backwards all pretty too... :D! i felt special. hah.. i can stilldo an axle. but not with blades on. maybe i'll whip out some skates sometime. yeah so. i thiknk im done... peace.
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Blurty for Melissa.

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