David's reality's Blurty
 
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Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in David's reality's Blurty:

    Friday, August 12th, 2005
    6:09 pm
    Man life is ironic
    Well, it's been a while since the last update...idk just have felt up to it lately but hey I wuz bored and thougt why not?! But yeah schools in now and the first week went by soooo slow for me. The first day I had a little trouble cuz they put me in a class I already had like my sophomore year. Mrs. Riley read me off the available electives for third period and the only one that sounded at leat half way interesting wuz introduction to teaching with Ms. Harding.. so yeah now i'm in there and i'm the only guy.....literally. I'm still doing cross country and it's getting better. after school started about five more people started and now we have enough people so that the guys can have an official team. My other classes are IB biology,IB english, 20th century world history, and math studies. I think i'll be able to handle. I just need to get a handle on the CAS hours. Cross country should knock out quite a bit but after that i'll have to find other things but, I think it'll turn out okay. My classes wear me out and then i go to practice right after them...so i'm exhausted by the time I get home.
    On another subject though... unfortunately i'm stll single. There are some girls that I'm thinkin about asking out and investing some time in but the bad side to that is that I don't think any of them would be interested in the slightest. I don't really people keep telling me to just lay back and let things happen but when i try to do that absolutely nothing happens. It frustrates me so much that I can't get anybody to be interested. I haven't gone out with anybody since Amanda and that was at least three months ago. I hoping something happens soon....

    Current Mood: bored
    Current Music: Until the day I die- Story of the year
    Thursday, July 28th, 2005
    10:04 pm
    Everyone loves a tired man
    Image hosted by TinyPic.com
    This is me at 8 o'clock before I left the house to teach my swim lessons



    Image hosted by TinyPic.com
    And this is me afterwards about an hour and a half later....sorry i'm just not a morning person...but don't you just love my instructor shirt!?


    But yeah anywayz the past few days have been pretty cool...my birthday wuzn't so bad after all! I hung out at Psalmond Road pool all day working...and they were all awesome to me....and then i went to cross country practice with Kayla! Lol.....Kayla is my favorite person! Yeah over the past few days Kayla and I have been talking ALOT more now that she's back....and now i'm reminded of why she's one of my best friends...cuz she's awesome! But yeah we're getting closer now and that's cool. I have three more days of work left so, let's hope I can make it through it! After that it's all smooth sailing for about two weeks until we have to go back to school...i should probably finish the Inferno....i don't have too much left to read. But yeah i'll get to see Gloria and all my friends again when we go back to school! I miss them all sooooo much!!!

    Current Music: U2- "sometimes you can't make it on your own"
    Sunday, July 24th, 2005
    11:16 pm
    Sometimes you just wanna scream...cuz nobody seems to care.
    Well, i had a pretty good weekend. I went to my mom's and we really talked...you know actually talked. She got inside my head and helped me sort things out. She's like the best person ever and I love her so much. She's the only person in this world who can keep me grounded.
    I went to work Saturday and today and went pretty well..i had to sit my ass in one hundred degree weather for hours at a time cuz i wuz short a few lifeguards so there were only three of us. But, we still managed to have somewhut of a good time. Everything wuz good until i came home(my dad's house) and checked the computer. Well first i checked my mail and i got one from Gloria! She's still the same ol' Gloria and that makes me smile. I know once she gets back everything will be good again cuz my best friend in the entire world will be back to make me feel better. The only thing that makes me really wanna scream is that i feel so cut off from everybody at school. I haven't gotten a call from anyone the entire summer. Well, scratch that i went out once with Natalie,David Ali, erin, gloria, ella, and my friend luis. But, after that i haven't heard from anyone. It gets under my skin cuz all these people claim to be my friends yet it seems like to much trouble to even just call. I feel so tired and depressed everyday when i get up because i know i'm about to start the same routine all over again...get up, drive to work, and then come home. I don't really do anything else...... cuz i have no one to do it with. My birthday is Wednesday...and one phone just one phone call from any of my friends would just make my day.....cuz i'm not spending it with anyone else cuz everybody is doing their own thing and is just too "busy".
    Happy birthday to me. :^(

    Current Mood: frustrated
    Current Music: Burning Bright by Shinedown
    Friday, July 22nd, 2005
    8:41 pm
    Wow i hate monotony
    I just hate it when nothing good happens the whole day but, at the same time nothing bad happens. It's just one of those...blahh days. But, yeah i went to work today and, overall it wuz a good day. I got a paycheck of 207 dollars....my biggest one yet...i guess the big boss Brian thought i wuz doing a good job managing my pool so he decided to throw in a little more money. He hasn't bothered me lately so I guess i'm doing okay...I just have to keep it up for another week and then i'll get my 500 dollar bonus. A little money never hurt right?
    But yeah, I've been thinkin alot these days (I've had a lot of time these days) and I think a new change of attitude is in order. I kind of realized just how clingy I am when it comes to attentiojn especially from the opposite sex. So i've decided to just mellow out and chill and just let things happen. It's a move i'm reluctant to make but i realize that i needs to happen....but i always get done wut needs to be done....it's something being a manger of a city pool has taught me. Hopefully some of these habits i've picked up being a manager you know being responsible and doing stuff on time will carry over to my school work. But yeah i hope to be a whole new me on the inside.....I'm still a depressed about whut i wrote about yesterday but, i give it a little while and maybe once i see gloria again i'll feel better.

    Current Music: Atreyu "You give love a bad name"
    Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
    10:03 pm
    Why do I even bother?
    Why is that everytime i try to be a nice person it ends up backfiring in my face? From now on i'm just gonna keep to myself...cuz everytime i try to be nice it ends up going the exact opposite direction than whut i would've wanted to.
    On another note i'm exhausted! I have swim lessons that i teach every morning at 10 am. and then straight from that i have to head straight to my pool(I say that cuz i'm assistant manager) to work from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. and then every day i have cross country practice and it's usually at 9 o'clock in the morning or 7 o'clock in the evening. And sometimes i just feels like nobody cares anymore. Nobody calls me, e-mails me or even thinks anything about me.....my birthday in a week(July 27) and i don't really think anybody really cares.....i bet wut's going to end up happening on my b-day is i'll work all day and come home to an empty house where i'll spend the rest of the evening alone. I'll prolly feel even worse cuz i know i won't get one present or even a happy birthday from anyone. Everyone is either to "busy" or just forgets about me.....I miss Gloria...she always makes me feel so much better when I'm down......and she's the only who understands me in the slightest cuz she's always there for me... and i haven't heard anything from her in so long.
    Sometimes i wonder if i'm even appreciated in the slightest for all the things i do for people...i bend over backwards to be nice to people all the time and i can't even get one damn phone call from anyone the entire summer.
    Well, i'm tired and exhausted and just wanna pass out on my bed and forget everthing...though i prolly won't...
    Maybe i'll update l8er.

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: La Camisa Negra by Juanes
    Thursday, June 16th, 2005
    9:57 pm
    I'm here and i'm blonde!
    Man it's been a long few weeks since school let out...here's the update..well i've been working at Rigdon Park and i've got a car now so i live out of it working seven days a week. I do come home at about eight o'clock cuz i get off everyday at about 7:30. The real thing on my mind though is the recent rejection i just went through.... i work with a girl named tabitha and i liked her alot...so we flirted and stuff and things were great but the days between us had our ups and downs....some days she would ignore me and i would get pissed and other days things would be great....well she got word from the other people i work with that i had said "she needs to tell me how she feels so i can know if she's leading me on or not cuz i feel like she is"....well then she confronted me about it and i asked her if she liked me at all....and i got the all to familiar line...."i just think we should be friends"...so now i'm back to the way i wuz be4 i wuz going with Amanda.......lonely...i sit alone at night doing absolutely nothing with myself...and i have to see tabitha at work everyday...and it hurts it really does cuz i know she doesn't want me and i can't have her because of that. I hope things get better for me in the department of girls...i guess i've always imagined myself having that classic "summer fling"...oh well.

    On a much lighter note....I GOT HIGHTLIGHTS AND THEY'RE BLONDE!!! i got my hair highlighted blonde and i think it turned out really well.. no one from school has me but i hope to get a picture up soon....
    I pray things get better cuz i'm exhausted.

    Current Mood: blah
    Current Music: Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson "Say Say Say"
    Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
    9:11 am
    Winding it all down
    Well the school year is winding down and it's been great i guess....i had a g/f and lost her in a matter of weeks...wow that's a new record for me.I miss her so much i really do. I wish it didn't end the way it did cuz I still have feelings for her and i care so much about her. But she said that's what she wanted....it to end because she didn't have time. I going back to work this summer again as a lifeguard at Rigdon Park. I'll work from 11:30 to 7:30 pretty much every day. No one goes to Rigdon Park to swim from Hardaway so I know I won't see anyone but a bunch of bratty kids everyday. It was the same way last year too. I keep telling people to come see but i don't think that will happen with everyone doing their own thing. All my friends are leaving the state pretty much. I'm gonna miss them all and seeing as how i won't see them till next school year i think they will be surprised how much i'm going to change my image. I won't tell anyone whut i'm going to do just yet, but everyone will be surprised i gaurantee that:^) I'll try to vent as much as i possibly can during the summer and seeing as how i'll have so much free time after work...ya know cuz i don't sleep during the summer....i'll prolly vent pretty much everyday. Well let's just hope that the summer holds good things in store for me.
    Thursday, April 28th, 2005
    9:16 am
    Amor y trabajar
    man work really does suck! especially school work...i'm hating essays alot right about now too seeing as how i have one for TOK and English due soon. I also gotta finish Pedro Paramo by tomorrow which may not be possible seeing as how far behind i am already. Dammit! I'm spending this weekend alone because Amanda is so busy....I know she won't call me because by the way she acts i'm just not important enough to remember to call. She barely calls me during the week two...i get two calls a week max. When you have a b/f or g/f it's just common knowledge to call them during the week....not just when you find it convenient or decide: "Oh yeah he's sitting at home bored on his ass...maybe i should call"...AHHH!! Why is it that she can't just call because she wants to not because she conveniently remebers or wants to go do something. She's leaving for a month in Virginia the day after graduation.....i won't even get to see her graduation day because once again yeah you guessed it SHE'S BUSY! She probably won't remeber to call me from there too. GREAT MORE DAMN TIME I WON'T GET TO SEE HER! I act all calm about it to her on the outside bout this stuff but really it gets under my skin. *sigh* I have a g/f but it feels like i'm alone.....does she even care? I'm feeling depressed again....i hope to god i don't get so depressed i have to go back on those f-ing anti-depressants...i've been almost 6 months without them now but, at this rate i may be back on them again.....not that anyone cares.

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: The music in my head
    Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
    8:32 am
    Sometimes life just sucks
    Ya know sometimes life just sucks alot. I hate it that Amanda and i have to been alone to get any kind of attention from her. Even then she still acts like she doesn't care at all. I feel sometimes that she doesn't like me at all because anytime we're around other people it's like i don't exist at all. Overall it just feels to me like she doesn't care. I've tried to talk to her but I can't get to her because she isn't at home to talk on the phone or she's ignoring me at school. She likes to act like i don't exist and talk to her friends. It's like i'm not even there. I guess she just completely forgot about me Prom night as well...after she took me home she stayed out all night. First time i heard of it wuz Monday....I guess she didn't tell me because it wuzn't important that i be included. I just wish sometimes she would act like she cares....that she would just pay attention..slow down enough in her own life and troubles long enough to notice that i'm still here....because i still like her alot.
    God help me.

    Current Mood: frustrated
    Current Music: none
    Saturday, March 5th, 2005
    11:41 pm
    Ya know.....maybe life isn't so bad
    Well tonight i went on sort of a "date" with Amanda. i paid for the movie tickets and dinner at the Atlanta bread Company for dinner. overall, it wuz a pretty good evening.(Oh yeah, Cursed wuz the movie, and we honestly thought it wuz lame). First, when we went to go eat we talked alot and ate. It's funny, of all the girls i've been interested in she's the first who i feel like i can talk to and be absolutely comfortable. Then in the movie itself we laughed and just had a good time just being there with each other.(Well, i wuz glad:^) ). Then after the movie got out we talked some more and we went to her car to listen to some music. I think her and i connect really well. Through out the whole ordeal i kept debating on whether i should hold her hand or put my arm around her or something......i decided against both. but i got a hug when I left :^) When i looked in her eyes and saw how beautiful she wuz.....i think i knew that maybe life isn't so bad after all.
    On a much sadder note...Justin and Tatum may have sort of a "thing" for each other. i just hope kayla will be alright....but we'll leave that drama for another entry.
    Monday, February 28th, 2005
    9:14 am
    Everything's coming together
    yeah everything's coming together now....i asked Amanda to prom and she said yes! plus i'm gonna see if she wants to go out on Saturday. Maybe if I'm lucky we'll be more than just friends. I've decided to give up on Tatum. It's just not worth it anymore. I think it's time to let an old crush go. I've had one on her since freshman year and I think it's time to just move on. I pray that I make it out of this week alive. *crosses fingers*
    Things are gonna blow up at the house too. My stepdad is and ass and mom just can not see it. She thinks he's a damn saint or something. So I may move to my dad's permanently! That makes me happy and when i do that i'll get control of my bank account and all my money. WHOO HOO! The only dilemma i can think of at the moment is how to get Amanda to prom with no car. I would borrow my dad's but he's gotta work until 11:00 at night. IDK. I'll figure it out. I wuz thinkin of doubling with someone but i just don't know who yet. I'll start asking around. I would feel awkward asking Gloria cuz she may not have a date. IDK. I pray I make it through the week and I figure everything out.

    Current Mood: contemplative
    Current Music: Country music Mrs. Anderson is playing
    9:14 am
    Everything's coming together
    yeah everything's coming together now....i asked Amanda to prom and she said yes! plus i'm gonna see if she wants to go out on Saturday. Maybe if I'm lucky we'll be more than just friends. I've decided to give up on Tatum. It's just not worth it anymore. I think it's time to let an old crush go. I've had one on her since freshman year and I think it's time to just move on. I pray that I make it out of this week alive. *crosses fingers*
    Things are gonna blow up at the house too. My stepdad is and ass and mom just can not see it. She thinks he's a damn saint or something. So I may move to my dad's permanently! That makes me happy and when i do that i'll get control of my bank account and all my money. WHOO HOO! The only dilemma i can think of at the moment is how to get Amanda to prom with no car. I would borrow my dad's but he's gotta work until 11:00 at night. IDK. I'll figure it out. I wuz thinkin of doubling with someone but i just don't know who yet. I'll start asking around. I would feel awkward asking Gloria cuz she may not have a date. IDK. I pray I make it through the week and I figure everything out.

    Current Mood: contemplative
    Current Music: Country music Mrs. Anderson is playing
    Friday, February 18th, 2005
    8:44 am
    Overwhelmed and Overworked
    Have you ever been loaded with so many things to do and so much pressure that you feel you're gonna crack anyday now? well that's me these days...first i have all the books and stuff to do in mrs. fletchers class, and then i have a TOK presentation due soon, and a spanish oral for my IB diploma. AHHHH!!! plus mrs. campbell (spanish teacher) keeps piling homework on us every day and a resumen every week. I guess she thinks if we get a break we might be happy or something ?i don't know just a theory. Also, I'm kinda desperate now that prom is just around the corner. I wanna go but I not in a hurry to go alone either. I promised Naomi that i would ask Amanda Foster but, I haven't yet. I guess I'm holding out for Tatum. It could be a long shot alright but I don't know I'm kinda reluctant to give up just yet. Whut pisses me off even more is that I think she likes Justin D. She turns around to stare and talk to him in Spanish class like every 10 seconds. It pisses me off everytime. I don't know. I wanna be mad at Justin but I know he didn't really ask for it. So I guess I'm not going to. It frustrates me because I don't know who to be mad at. I am happy that him and Kayla talk though. I just wish they would hurry and close the deal. Ya know, just start going out already. I mean she talks about him all the time and really do want her to be happy and be with the guy she wants to be with. But, being as single as long as I have you sort of get lonley and jealousy sets in pretty easily.If Tatum doesn't show any kind of sign of interest soon I'm gonna just go ahead and ask Amanda. All this just frustrates me and stresses me out so I'm kinda in a bad mood these days. I hope something good happens soon or I really will crack under the stress.

    Current Mood: frustrated
    Current Music: music playing on radio
    Thursday, February 17th, 2005
    9:15 am
    Time to start the party!
    well, i've never had an online journal before so i'm new to this.....but, i look forward to putting some pretty good stuff on here...so if you wanna know what goes on David's reality now's your chance. Hopefully i will try to update as much as possible, but i promise nothing:) i have a selective memory! those who know me well know this to be a fact.

    Current Mood: awake
    Current Music: Music in my head
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