hey!   
11:19pm 11/09/2004
 
mood: curious
music: Evanescence
*looks around* it's been awhile....* lol
Well, I do have a livejournal now...but I think I'll use this still for ranting. I'm gonna wind up turning this into a friends only thing though if I can. We'll see ^^		  
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...................   
03:15pm 04/03/2004
 
mood: depressed
music: "Rinse" ~~~~ Vanessa Carlton
Well, he e-mailed me back! But I'll get back to that in a minute. He was online for about half an hour...I was nervous about AIMing him. I decided to leave an away ,message saying "Doing work, but feel free to interupt" He didn't AIM me. I dunno why I am so damn hesitant....maybe that is why I have no one, I act too late. I should've AIMed him....I should've... the confusion was enough to make me totally disoriented while I was trying to read my journal articles for psychology....that means I was like Oh My God! But of course, he eventually signed off and I got back to my work. Then I decided why not? I'll check my mail and he left me a message. He said he'd write me again when he got back from work, we have catching up to do!
He told me he saw Joey. She never knew he smoked. Wow....uhm...I've known since senior year and he was right, she was too self interested sucking face with her bofriend to notice the smell of smoke on his clothes and such during senior year.
I'm glad he likes where he works and that he is happy there. He didn't say anything about RPI (maybe tonight?). He also said he met a girl there, saying she was beautiful. From what he said, it seems like she wasn't extremely interested...I don't know, just from what he told me it seemed that...but I don't know anything about the situation so why should I judge, you know?
It makes me sad....I have no chance with ANYONE. Am I THAT ugly? It depresses me. People say they look for inner beauty, but you know that want outer beauty as well....I don't have that and from the way things are going I will never have it or it will take awhile at least. Why? Why everything!? It's unfair! It sucks! I hate my life!! It sucks major ass, but hey I'm dealing I suppose.
O.o...I really er....ran off track there....*sigh*
I'm just happy he e-mailed me. No, estatic. I wonder if he knows how happy just getting his e-mail made me, probably not. I'm glad he considers me a good friend ^^

current mood: depressed
current music: "Rinse" ~~~Vanessa Carlton		  
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dammit.....   
11:27pm 03/03/2004
 
mood: confused
I got sentimental and sent him an e-mail just asking him how he was. I hope I get some kind of reply. Last time all I got was "I'm still alive." he was being funny because I had asked him if he was still alive and breathing and such because I hadn't heard from him in awhile. I would like to know what's going on....whether I have a chance at all. I mentioned that I was still boyfriendless....maybe he'll give me some indication...I dunno. I know he is a night owl....so maybe I'll get a reply tomorrow? hmm...probably not...maybe in a week or so...hopefully. *smacks head* I'm confused.
Now I am REALLY going to bed.....
btw, my head feels better lol

current mood: confused		  
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ick   
10:51pm 03/03/2004
 
mood: sleepy
music: My head hurts too much to listen to music....
I have a major headache right now with no asprin in sight....damn....
I talked to Naomi about our trip and she said she was going to try to set me up with the guy who is letting us stay at his house. *shrugs* I could try I guess.
The dream I had was nice. I dreamed that we went out on a date. It was such an innocent dream. Nothing happened, we just went on a date. The scary thing is that I have found myself looking back on that dream all day. Such a sad person I am. I mean....HELLO!!!??? He hasn't even bothered to reply to my e-mails.....and he's never online....naomi and I try to get him to hang with us but he always busy....*sigh*
I think I am going to bed now....		  
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hmmmm.....   
07:21am 03/03/2004
 
mood: groggy
music: just woke up.....no music...please...
I had a dream about him again..... we went out on a date and it was very nice...if only that could happen in real life...		  
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yo   
08:43pm 01/03/2004
 
mood: chipper
music: breath no more
So our program tonight was called Sex and Candy. Our RA handed us bags and told us to read the card inside. She had told my roomie and I earlier that we were partners. We didn't know what for. So my card said to give a kiss (hershys kiss) to my partner. I guess I had a moment of dislexia and it turned out I was only suppose to exchange kisses with my partner lol and I had exchanged with alot of other people lol. I cheated on my roomie!!!! NO!!!!! it turns out that one of the bags had all red hershey kisses and that was suppose to represent AIDS. I didn't pick a red one, but I had someone sign my card who had a red one. Oh dear..... She then went and told us some facts about AIDs most of which are very commonly known.
Anyways, instead of going to Boston on Saturday and Sunday, I am staying there until tuesday wooop!!!! Cool. I don't have to worry about hotels or anything because naomi's friend lives right outside of boston, and he's a guy friend lol cool stuff.
Well, I gotta get my rear in gear and get the rest of my sources for my panel for tomorrow.		  
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Invisable   
06:30pm 29/02/2004
 
mood: sad
music: A thousand miles
Have you ever felt like you are invisable; nobody notices you? People ignore you? I feel that way all the time, though it is stronger with certain people. I hate feeling this way. I never know what to say and it annoys the shit out of me. I feel so wierd and stuff. No one seems to know what to say to me. Am I wierd or something? What's wrong with me? What makes people just not like me? I dunno. I try hard and people take that for something else and think I am odd. I feel so alone sometimes. It's times like this when I just want to crawl under a blanket or go home and be around people who understand me. My friends at home know how I am. They understand what I mean most of the time. Here....I'm just the quiet introverted wierdo. I just quietly walk and fade into the background. No one notices me. It's times like these when I think about if I were to just disappear...would anyone notice? Would anyone care? Would I just be someone randomly brought up and they say oh, she was wierd and quiet, so how about them yankees? A face in the crowd? A nobody. That's what I am. I am nobody. Nothing. Invisable.		  
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-.-........   
07:21am 04/02/2004
 
mood: aggravated
music: nothing but my broken heart
Okay.......lets see if this makes any sense.....
6inches of snow+school=no school (or at least a delay!!!!)
Ergh......this sucks.....		  
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Today is......   
10:04pm 03/02/2004
 
mood: groggy
music: nothing
Today is wear your underpants inside out day. Why you ask? Well, it wasn't 'til half way through the day that I noticed I was wearing my underpants inside out. lol So Feb 3rd is now offically "Wear your Underpants Inside out Day"
Everyone else knows how much I loath tuesdays.......so I can't really say anything else on that subject.
It's snowing......we have over 6 inches and they haven't even DELAYED school for tomorrow yet.....geeze....lol
I have a headache.....ergh		  
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Lovely Tuesdays......yay......   
10:26am 03/02/2004
 
mood: amused
music: Yubiwa
Well, I did my speech today......I was nervous, but when I got up there and started talking, I felt better. I tried to think of it almost as a conversation, except in this case it's only you talking. So all went well and I probably wont be doing another one until sometime next week probably......I think that the next one is a process demonstration speech. I might just bring diagrams and show people how to draw a chibi figure or maybe how to sing properly. I dunno. I am going more for the drawing because it is something I enjoy and it is relatively simple.
Well, as explained in the title.....it is TUESDAY......duh duh DUHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I hate tuesdays with a passion. It is almost non-stop running around after 8am until around 7pm. At least I'll be able to get my paycheck and work on my homework @ work study. Tuesdays at work study are relatively easy because there are many people there when I come in @ 1pm. So I usually put some books away, shelf read the books in my section and then do my homework until 4pm. Then I get to go to Trumpet class....yay.... I mean, the trumpet is definatley easier than the clairinet, there are only 3 keys afterall!!! However, the embachure is hard to do. It involves alot of muscle control that I don't have yet. Trumpet players are probably the best kissers, I say this not from experience (I wish though) but think about it, they need to have good strength in their facial muscles...lol.....My mind is going down the gutter now......I think I shall leave for later....lol		  
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LOL   
09:52pm 02/02/2004
 
mood: giggly
music: he he he he
Well, I just got done talking on the phone with the folks. lol funny shit. Well first off my dad said he went to that computer class. It wasn't what he was expecting....to say the least. It wasn't computer 101, it was a secretary type class where you learn to type....lmao.....and my dad *snark* he CAN'T type to save his life. He said he took a typing test there and er.....he did bad......lol Second....I can't imagine my dad as a secrtary.....lol.....it makes me giggle and drop dead laughing.....
On a similar note we got a new computer! My uncle surprised my parents this morning by bringing them a computer that he built. It has windows 98 on it which isn't too bad! Ma said she spent the evening teaching my dad how to play solitaire on the computer....."Remember dear.....click....and drag...." LOL!! Then she started on showing him how microsoft word works...... I'm sorry, my dad is a technologically impaired as they come.....I am proud that he is tyring this out.....but it's funny as all hell at the same time!!!! XD		  
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he he he   
05:53pm 02/02/2004
 
mood: happy
music: nothing
And God said let there be toilet paper.....and all was good in the world!!!!
(er.....we finally got toilet paper in our bathrooms lol)		  
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yo   
12:17pm 01/02/2004
 
mood: content
music: nothing
Happy Febuary 1st!!! The month of LOVE..........*smacks head into desk* well it is if you have someone special to spend it with, if you're like me it is just some other month....
I wanted to practice my trumpet, piano and sight singing today, but it was audition day. I didn't even step into the buildiing and I saw all the people and I was like, "I think I will have lunch and go back to my room."
So I will stuff some socks into my trumpet and practice in my room and try to do ear training with out a piano.
Today is Superbowl Sunday!!!! Yeah....un.....I could care less about football. All we are doing is getting food and watching the commercials lol.		  
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lol   
09:09pm 31/01/2004
 
mood: awake
music: nothing
Well, I just got done watching "Once Upon a Time in Mexico." Very......interesting.....and bloody and lots of guns. I was just hoping that they wouldn't kill the little rat dog, which they didn't ^^
It is only 9:15pm?! Geeze! Early......yeah.....
My mom was talking to me about that new diet she was doing. She says it's working and that when I come home for the summer I should do it. She said if I followed it I would probably loose alot of weight by the time I went back to school. It would be nice. First she is going two weeks withough carbs, then after two weeks she said they have certain kinds of carbs, nothing with white flour though. They can have whole wheat and wild rice and such, in small amounts. My mom said I should try it here.....er.....they serve us nothing but carbs here....I would starve if I did it.....but I am kinda limiting my intake of carbs. I can't do my pilates dvds here because there isn't enough room. So I figure I'd do it when I came home for the summer.
You know, I'm kind of hoping that Michales doesn't hire me back for the summer.....I want to work @ Barnes and Nobel. Dammit, they cut my pay! I ws so pissed! Before I left for school in the fall I was getting paid $7.28/hour, then I noticed with my last check they lowered it to 6.95!!!! I know why too. When I left in august they took me out of the system and when they put me back in for thanksgiving, they decided to cut my fucking pay!!! GGGRRRR!!!!!
*sigh* I FINALLY get paid tueday! Then I can go and get my multi-vitamins the next day. I've been so tired latley, my mom is like, I think you need some supplements. Yeah, I think so too.
Oh and a reminder, if any one is interested in buying Magic Knight Rayearth VHS tapes for seasons 1 and 2, LET Me KNOW!!!!! I plan to sell them sooner or later. Or if anyone has any tips for selling on ebay let me know. 'cause if no one shows any interest here I will be auctiuoning them off on ebay along with some various manga and art books that I am going to get rid of. If interested post a reply.		  
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yo   
04:04pm 30/01/2004
 
mood: bored
music: bored out of my mind
Well, I guess I am closing the library by myself on fridays now......I'm all awone....*puppy eyes*
They showed me how to lock the doors ^^; Basically I lock them, prop the one door open, run back in and put the keys on the counter and run back out. *sigh* Well at least I'm only by myself for an hour. Usually the library clears out around 430....actually, it is pretty quiet right now.....*looks around room*
I had piano today. It was kinda irritateing. I sit right next to the instructor so she automatically comes to me first when she starts to check on us and I get so nervous that I mess up. I think next friday I will sit somewhere else. She gave me a Bach minute to play and it sounds pretty neat....yeah, I only played like what, the first measure....lol
Nothing to do tonight. Actually, i am going to dinner with vicki after work ^^ then I will ahve nothing to do. well, I can type up my outline for my speech, but I was planning to do that tomorrow @ work study (saves on having to use my printer *wink* )
sunday there is going to be a super bowl party. So I am heading over to Bru.
I think I will go and do some puzzles now....		  
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yo   
11:26am 30/01/2004
 
mood: content
music: nothing
I've been noticing alot new trend in X fanfics......they have vampires now....O.o....oooooo....lol I have absolutley no problem with it. It's just a trend I've been seeing as of late. I saw the cover for X/1999 vol 14!!! It's Arashi dressed in a killer red out fit with a dragon on it!!! I believe we get to see the reverse of what happened in vol 12 with Subaru and Kamui, this time It's Subaru watching over Kamui after he got his ass kicked. At this point, with the way CLAMP has been updating, or rather lack there of, I think Viz might catch up lol. I think though there will be a new issue of X in Asuka by may. I mean, common, they wouldn't go a WHOLE year with out updating, right? And maybe I just jinxed everything O.o....oh dear. *bangs head against wood plank*
I want to find out two things: What is going on with Arashi (I think she will turn into a badass DoE) and will they Kill Subaru off.....actually, three things I want to know, Who will die? Kamui or Fuuma or both or neither?
So many things to wonder about.....lol.
I don't really have a problem with the change in their drawing style really......I mean it is a little bit......er....rounder and I will admitt with many others, it looked Chobits-ized, but it still looks fine and hey, look on the bright side, at least all the characters are still recognizable, it could be worse, right? lol
OOPS Vicki just called! Time to eat!!!!!!! ^^		  
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yo   
11:04pm 29/01/2004
 
mood: amused
music: nothing
Well, for awhile I have been meaning to talk about X/1999 vol 13! I've just been so busy!
Well, to start off with, I knew that Daisuke was going to die, however, I didn't know he'd die so soon and I didn't know that he would be getting his head chopped off. CLAMP.....they love beheading their characters and swapping eye balls don't they....lol....heh.....Also the fight that ensues later with Fuuma and Kamui.....oh my god.....it was a tad graphic....wow.....THAT MAKES IT COOL IN MY BOOK!!!!!! LOL!!!! Kamui just looks awful after. He just keeps getting his ass kicked.....*psst* it's because he needs to realize his true wish! *psst*
And the conversation between Yuzuriha and Kusanagi....awwww....it made me all warm and fuzzy inside!!! So far, in my opinion, the relationship is one sided.....SO FAR. Yuzu loves him and Kusanagi seems more like an older brother type thing so far. And it made me giggle to realize that it is in deed true that during her fight with Yuuto and Nataku we can in did see Karen's thong. lol I can't believe I looked for it...... Karen's side story made me kinda depressed. The part that got to me was at the end where she is " You know Po, I love mommy anyway, she was the only one who cried for me." and her mom totally abused her.
It is getting late, however, I might think of other thing about X tomorrow.		  
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yay!!!   
09:02pm 29/01/2004
 
mood: blah
music: My Immortal~~~Evanescence
I finally found out what has been wrong with me!!!! I have seasonal depression! It is when the seasons change. Winter is the peak season for it. So that is why I haven't been wanting to eat or really do anything........ah....there is logic to all this madness.
I felt a little better today when I did yoga and walked abit, but then I crashed again in master works. I dunno, it annoys me abit. she was picking on the sopranos more than usual today :(
Well, tomorrow is Friday, thank god!		  
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wtf?   
10:11am 28/01/2004
 
mood: stressed
music: Unsung ~~~Vanessa Carlton
Okay......all the schools around us, including SUNY Albany are either delayed or closed....WTF?! We're the only thing not delayed!!!! As Vicki T put it, "That is the Saint Rose Difference." lol Well, then again, my rep class got cancelled so my day ended at 945, so it's all good lol.
I have a headache.......my dictation test didn't do too well. I kept on thinking, is that a half note or a quarter note, is it tied? ARGH!!!! I had to pop some tylenol after wards......
Where is clamp and the next issue of X in Auska? Then again, I heard rumors that Makona Apapa (the illustrator) has arthritis and may retire soon so they may be stock piling issues or even trying to finish X off!! I have a feeling though 19 is gonna be the last volume, either that or 20. I dunno.....
What to do with the rest of my day...... hmmmm...... I could work on my speech, probably a good idea.		  
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Attention all scorpios!   
08:24pm 27/01/2004
 
mood: dorky
music: nothing
Okay.....according to my credit card bill horoscope, this is my outlook for Febuary.......

Self or Personality
"You are drawn in several directions now. You feel a need to focus on yourself and that may be difficult. Keep in mind that you are in charge of your own destiny, no matter what other people want. Creative activities focus on social plans and group activities on the 8th and the 14th."

~~~lol......am I that widely spread lol. The focus on myself may be difficult thing is slightly true because I've been trying to focus on my health kinda and that is hard.....The creative activities thing though.....er......???

Career and Finance
"You find hidden reserves deep within yourself. This well of intuition can help you find your way through murky employment waters. Work with groups can be most advantageous, toward the end of the month. Before that your efforts meet with emotional resistance."

~~~My first thought after reading the first sentence "You find hidden reserves deep with in yourself." I was like, "WOW!!! So I was destined to find that one dollar reserve bill in my deep coat pocket...." O.o....lol That last part....I can feel a group project coming on already......ergh..

Family and Friends
"Once you get your schedule under control, you find that activities with friends are charming and fun. Use your creative talents to focus recreational activities so that everyone can find something within their skill range. Story telling can be a great source of entertainment around the 15th and the 16th."

~~~~First sentence is true.....scarily so.... second sentence: does that mean I'll be getting some? lol jk. Will I be giving my narration speech around then?

Health
"It's not too early to shift your diet toward lighter fare. You will feel better and have mare energy. After the 8th you will definatley want to reduce the amount of processed sugar in your diet. Contact a physician if you develope a fever, or if an injury results in excessive swelling."

~~~~O.o......that was errily accurate......

Conflicts
"Emotional upsets involving money can sap your energy. Get clear about your own feelings before you take on anyone else's problems. Social events are definatley not the place to air your money problems. Instead, build your self image around the 10th by identifying financial oppourtunities."

~~~~~DAMMIT!!! I didn't get my work study pay check and I need MONEY!!!! It's sapping my energy!!!! Too late for #2..... er.....I don't really do #3.....#4....er.....?

Romance (rolls eyes)
" Romance this month is tied in with activities involving work associates, friends and neighbors. Gee, this sounds like someone is getting married, and you are attending, if not getting married yourself. You contribute to the mood on the 15th or the 20th through carefully chosen words."

~~~LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dropped dead laughing when I read this! ME?! Getting married?! ohohohohoh!!!!!!!Funny shit. Okay.....all my co-workers are girls.....all my neighbors are girls.....er.....I have very few male friends....er.....O.o....?????

Just thought this would be funny my reaction to readin my horoscope. It comes every month with my credit card bill ^^;		  
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sakuragirl
 
 
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