[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Sunday, December 8th, 2002|
i was over torey's with seth and him, and my mom called. we were talking...
mom: 'so dad called today.'
me: 'yeah? how're they doing?'
mom: 'oh, they're going to be staying out there a bit longer.'
me: :::pause::: 'how's grandma doing?'
mom: :::long pause::: 'she died a couple of hours ago.'
apparently she was just waiting to see my dad [grandma's "little Eddie"] before she passed away. He got out there a couple of days ago and had seen her a few times [she was in a home, but had a heart attack the day after he got out there and was in the hospital]. She was supposed to have at least a month left. But every time the doctors talked to her relatives, they always made it shorter and shorter. First it was five years, then two, then five months, then 'a couple' months, then one... yeah. I started crying right then and there. We got off the phone and I just started bawling into Seth's chest. I hate this.
I was supposed to see her one more time before she died. December 30- Jan 6. We have our tickets. We've had them for months. But see, originally we were going over Homecoming weekend, but my mom changed them because she knew I wanted to go to homecoming. It's my fault my mom and I didn't get to see her.
I was supposed to draw her in Connecticut. It would have been the most beautiful picture I've ever drawn of the woman with the most beautiful soul.
I can't stop crying. I want to die so I can be with grandma.
|Saturday, November 23rd, 2002|
Last time you:
Really Smiled : a few hours ago
Laughed : same
Cried: a week or so ago after a fight with my mum
Danced : jesus christ, no idea
Were sarcastic : tomorrow.
Kissed someone : a few hours ago. :)
Watched your favorite movie : i have lots of favorites.
Had a nightmare : last night. people were getting thrown into a human grinder thingy.
[ A Last time for everything.. ]
Last book you read : "Game Over" David Sheff
Last song you heard: Suicidal Tendencies- I Shot The Devil
Last thing you had to drink: wild cherry pepsi
Last time you showered : this morning
Last thing you ate : pizza.
[ Fashion ]
1. Do you wear a watch: no. i should.
2. How many coats and jackets do you own: fucking lots
3. Most expensive item you've bought: of clothing?
4. What kind of shoes do you wear?: Emericas
[ Friends ]
1. Do your friends 'know' you : yeah... i dont put on an act.
2. How are you with your friends : comfortable
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked : i can make a sarcastic comment to anything.
4. Are there people that you tell everything to: yeah. seth [kingsley].
[ Other ]
1. Favorite bands ever: pink floyd.
2. Most listened to bands : suicidal tendencies, pink floyd, iron maiden.
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking : yes...
4. Can you play an instrument : yeah
5. Type of music listened to : rock. maybe 'punk.' but punk is dead.
6. Type never listened to : blah
[ Religion ]
1. Do you detest religion : no. anyone that does is fucking ignorant.
2. How do you think this universe was formed : big bang energy theory.
3. If you currently follow a religion, do you think people who belong to another religion are ignorant: oh yeah. i have jews, muslims, buddhists, etc. *rolls eyes*
[ Homosexuality ]
1. What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands: turns me on
[ General Questions ]
1. Whom do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment: probably a woman <-- agreed
2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day : cloudy.
3. Do you consider yourself lucky : no
4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide : depends.
5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often : fruitful
[ Stuff ]
1. Do you own any plaid clothing: yeah, i do.
2. Do you own Converse shoes : yeah.
3. Do you own Saucony shoes : no
4. Do you own old school Nikes : fuck no
5. Do you wear tight pants : not usually. rarely.
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants : lots of my pants dont have any zippers or pockets.
7. Do you own a messenger bag : yeah, two
8. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest : fuck no
9. Do you own braces : yeah, i keep a spare pair in my room. cough.
10. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth : if you're broken, heh.
11. Do you have short, shaggy hair : no. its long and fucked up.
12. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches : nope, thinkin about mohawkin' it though.
13. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon : no...
14. Do you think mohawks are "neat" :ha, i think theyre fun. josh made my hair into one and it felt sweet. kept hair outta the face.
16. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye: i dont dye my hair
17. Do you own a bandana : i want a confederate flag bandana. dont ask...
18. Do you wear plugs in your ears : nope
19. Are you amused by safety pins : they make good pipe scrapers
|Friday, November 22nd, 2002|
my head feels like its gunna fucking explode. jesus christ. too much honeyoil and chrons.
|Wednesday, November 20th, 2002|
i moved here because my other journals are full of old shit that I don't care to reflect upon anytime soon.
so here i go.
on friday and saturday i was with seth. saturday night, him, torey, torey's sis, his sis' friend, stephani and i went to UTC [university towne centre] to go ice skating and whatnot. but when seth and i were getting dropped off at toreys, it was dark and i accidentally slammed his thumb in the door. ;x his thumb is so fucked up. i feel horrible. yeah. heh, there's a store at UTCcalled 'LoveSac- the alternative to lame furniture.' weird, especially seeing that in the part of town it was in. anyway seth and i decided not to skate, we hung out around the mall and the food court, took pics, joked and had a good time. it was great. we just laugh so much... it's like we complete each other. i remembered that my first date EVER in my life was at that same place. UTC ice hockey, with spike. weird. but i enjoyed it so much with seth.
yesterday was a planning day, nothing special. i got my _Game Over_ book back from brandon though, huzzah, i gotta read it. and uh, i got compliments on my chest. from devon and meagan. lol :::long story::: we started our research papers in there; im doing three of them, i believe. too much i gotta argue for/against.
today i missed 2nd period again. oops. at least it's excused this time. -- anyway, got to 3d design, showed crystal the cute pic of me and seth. and we talked about buddy's lack of... well, okay. i wont share. but yeah, we drew pictures of guys with boners all period. Lol. i need a scanner! dag nabbit.in graphic design i talked to joe and tony, tony finally did his stand-up act at a club somewhere downtown. props to him. in gov't devon gave me lots of compliments. :) cuz we were all talking about makeup and such, and hes like 'look at her, she like doesnt wear any makeup and shes super-hot!' i was like, awe.
AND... meagan and i got into the library and sat with this other chick [meagan's friend; im cool with her though]. and meagan's doing her paper on pro- gay marriages, right? so meagan and i were arguing all period in favor of them to this orthodox-catholic girl. it bugged me a bit, she wasnt open at all. she said shed be nice to gays, but she doesnt agree with it. etc etc blah blah. it went deeper than that, though. meagan and i won though. fuck yes.
meagan: "devon thinks Im a lesbian."
her: "well uhm.. anyway.. blahasd wsredwa wsred ..."
and ive got to say: i think i believe in karma now. this revelation started when i was leaving school at 12:#0 and i asked the skinheards if they had any cigs, but NONE of them had one. yeah. tough shit, warren said he was lookin for a quarter to buy a couple off the mexicans, soooo i gave him 50 cents, lol, and headed on my way. anyway, as i was walking down the cul-de-sac i see three people drive by and jeremy sticks his head out the window and yells "WAIT UP!" so i stopped, they dropped someone off, and he picked me up. it was him and alexis. yknow, alexis that's all German-ed out. Lol. jeremy's the best though; i love that kid. what a cute boy. they ended up smoking me out with chronic and gave me a couple cigs and 6 coricidin. god damn i had a nice afternoon. first time Ive done that in awhile.
but yes, karma catches up to you. im going to continue being nice, see where it gets me.
at 4:00 pm i went over to seth's. we just played Vice City and watched TV and snuggled. :> i enjoyed it. i havd to leave at 8 though :( sucked. i miss him already. hopefully we'll get together tomorrow.
I had a lot more to write about but fuck, i forget. ohwell.
sappy boyfriend luvvi-ness of the day:
seth [9:23 PM]: u need to wear her down
White snow angel [9:24 PM]: maybe i can taint her food supply with sleep inducers
White snow angel [9:24 PM]: and just knock her out for a couple of days
seth [9:24 PM]: that can be arranged
White snow angel [9:24 PM]: yay!
seth [9:25 PM]: how come in ur letters u think that im going to break up with u for some other girl
White snow angel [9:26 PM]: because im insecure and think you can do better, or find someone more attractive
White snow angel [9:27 PM]: i havent been in a real relationship in awhile, if ever.
seth [9:27 PM]: what do u meen better and more attractive
White snow angel [9:27 PM]: just, i dont know, i feel like im not worth having you.
seth [9:29 PM]: you are the best thing that has ever happened to me
seth[9:29 PM]: i would nt leave u for the world