||Kelly Clarkson - "Beautiful Disaster"
I've slept more in the past two days than in the four previous days combined. I feel ten million times better. I've tried to just stop thinking, it's working to an extent. I read some more of my book, watched some movies. Just...didn't think about it too much. I'm going to cut down on my computer time, update a little less, spend more time with my offline friends.
My New Years Resolutions (I just figured them out last night.)
2.Every day I want to do something mentally challenging, physically challenging, something that makes someone else happy, something that makes me happy, and something that helps someone else.
3.Lose weight. (I'm not going to set a specific goal, I'm going to be happy with whatever disappears!)
4.Don't care what other people think of me.
5.Realize I can't please everyone, and I can't compromise my own happiness for that of others.
6.Be okay with what I have, and not wish for what I can't have.
7.Be more confident, friendly, and open about my feelings.
8.Be less of a pushover.
9.Do well in my classes...meaning GO TO THEM and do my homework and such.
10.Spend less time at my computer...
12.Get more sleep...time providing.
13.I'm not going to deal with internet drama anymore...
Much better resolutions than just disappearing. I don't think I could have kept that resolution anyway, even if I hadn't texted Seth on New Years Eve. Odd how it turned out to be 13 resolutions, my favorite number. I have a feeling that this year is going to be different from every other year. I'm growing up, maybe I should have tried that last year, when I turned 18? Nah. I need to learn to be able to do things on my own. I need to learn to be my own person, not everyone's doormat. Someone special pointed that out to me. It's okay for me to be happy, it's not going to hurt anyone. Although, I think I just hurt Michael's feelings. I was one of the few people he actually talked to about his problems, but I can't do that anymore. I have enough problems of my own, though. I'm going to be more focused on school. I'm going to prove Amanda's initial perception of me wrong, I'm very serious about school, last semester it just seemed incredibly hard for me to get out of bed and go to class. This semester, I won't miss any class. Or, I'll try my damnedest not to. I'm not going to skip work either. I have responsibilities, a cell phone bill, tuition, I've gotta save up some money for a trip this summer, or possibly spring break, depending on how much I can save in that time. Not sure where I'm going just yet, but you can bet it'll be special! Possibly England this summer, with Yonica and Liz.
Oh man, I just realized how much I miss hanging out with the girls on my floor. It's odd how some of us are very detached, uncaring and bitchy, and others of us are caring, close and as nice as they come...My floor is nicely diversified. We're getting two new girls this semester, that'll be fun. Samantha's getting a new roommate, since Kimmy moved home and is commuting now. There's also Winter Formal this semester. I think I'm going to ask Isaiah. I doubt he'll say yes, but what's it going to hurt to ask him? He's a really nice kid, he grew up with my roommate. He's an IT major, which means he can fix my computer when it screws up! Haha, kidddding.
I'm going to keep my room clean this semester as well. I don't know if my roommate will do that, but my stuff will all be tidy. I'll do laundry when it needs done, not a week afterwards! Dishes will be done as soon as they're dirtied. I won't just throw things whereever. And there will be a folder for each of my classes, instead of one communal folder for all of my things. A separate notebook for each class as well. I'm going to be more organized. I can't wait to get back to school.
I'm hoping I'm going to have enough money to pay my cell phone bill on the 19th. Two week paycheck, that's going to suck, plus, I didn't work all of that two weeks...Oops. I'm saving the money I get paid for babysitting, plus I have ten dollars, and I'm going to see if I can get some money from my dad...maybe early birthday money?! I'm getting another job when I get back to school. Even if I have to work at McDonalds.
I have this weird feeling coming over me. I'm excited about this year. I've never been excited about a new year, not like this. I've never made resolutions I felt I could actually keep. It's a whole new year, I've just got a little bit of a delayed reaction.