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[18 Jan 2004|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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Overwhelmed with bullshit. |
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music |
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Nine Inch Nails | Somewhat Damaged |
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So... this is the first time in a long while I've felt the need to write.
No good came from tonight, to say the least. All day I had this weird feeling in my bones; a sense that things just might take a strange turn. This feeling didn't lie.
The situation was sparked by something... ridiculous. Basically, I think my girlfriend did something totally unnecessary, and although it wasn't that big of a deal... I REALLY wanted to know what moved her to do so because... it was just so completely POINTLESS. Making an effort to understand [and I still don't], she tells me I'm overreacting.
Firstly, I believe I was speaking in a somewhat civil tone and being very reasonable.
Secondly, who is she or ANYONE for that matter, to tell me how I should feel? I mean, her behavior caused and made me feel something I didn't like. I made this apparent and now I'm overreacting? I don't get it.
This made me ask myself 'SHOULD I not be bothered by this?' [as I often do]. When dealing with feelings, I believe there are no 'should's. You feel what you fucking feel. MY POINT BEING... there is no certain way to react to something. [END RANT.]
I have no idea if that would make sense to someone on the outside. Emotions are storming. Please tell me I'm not delusional?
I care about Charline more than she knows. I know tonight was a rough night for her - even with this petty bullshit aside. I'm not exactly sure what's going on with her... but I don't know how much longer I can bang my heart against her wall.
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