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I woke up at 4 this morning and haven't been able to fall back asleep. By then I had finally shaken off my hangover... atleast the nauseous feeling, that is. I can hardly stomach the thought of food, but have been eating periodically [against my will]. Saturday night was a fucking disaster. - But to begin with, I saw Charline for the first time in MONTHS. She hugged me REALLY hard and gave me candy. :] That was the ONLY good thing about that night. - Ashley picked me up around 1. I only had until 3. Anthony was having a party, so we went over there. Since my time was very limited, I started downing beers and socializing. There was this dude that was like, hitting on me and Ashley and asking us to come out on his boat with him sometime. Haha. I think I even took his wallet and made him chase me. I'm such a shit. Everything was going fine until a fight began. Jason and this black dude were in eachother's faces. Jason was calling him a nigger. I thought he was going to flip out. I was worried. The fight was broken up before it was taken any further. I think that must have ruined the mood. I walked outside for a while and started talking to Johnny. That kid is totally cute and nice. We told eachother secrets and talked about relationships. I gave him some insight and he completely understood. Best conversation I had all night. I sat down with Banks for a while and had a few shots of Vodka with him. Then some dude offered me REDRUM so I hit it. That shit is good. And with that, I was drunk as fuck. I TOPPED LAST TIME. So, Saturday night I was the most wasted I have E V E R been. Anthony and I were suppose to have had a talk last time he had a party, but we never got around to it. So, we took a walk around the block to ventilate and converse. [[Here is where my memory gets fuzzy]] Him and I are walking - well, I'm walking... he's stumbling. I have my arm around his waist to guide him along the sidewalk and keep him from toppling over. He was VERY drunk and high. I don't remember a single word that we shared. I have no recollection of our conversation what-so-ever. I'm thinking we must have been gone for a while because Ashley and Julie went looking for us and when they rolled up... all hell broke loose. Julie starts in on me and calls me a fucking WHORE and continues to accuse me of cheating on my boyfriend. I was just being a fucking friend and helping him out - no matter how it seemed or what she percieved it to be. Now, when I'm drunk, everything is extreme - It's either the highest of highs or the lowest of lows. When Julie called me a whore, I was just like 'Whoa.' It hit hard and it made me feel like complete SHIT. I just turned my back to her and walked away. Anthony left with them. I just walked the streets and cried. I went back a while later to see what was going on. As soon as I turn the corner, I see Anthony and Julie in the middle of the street screaming at eachother with people around them. I just watched. Anthony was totally defending me. I remember being surprised Anthony could bark like he did. I think people had to eventually get inbetween them, they were HEATED. I walked up to Julie and was trying to get her to calm down so I could explain and she THREATENED me. She made a hostile remark, so I just let off of her. Not because I felt intimidated; I'm entirely capable of fighting, but fighting is a weak solution... and it was very weak of Julie to say that. I walked off and left them to their business, then Jackleen comes stumbling towards me saying 'How could you cheat on Howie?!'. She was totally fucking gone. She kept falling and I found myself continuosly helping her up. She proceeded to say 'I love Howie! You have no idea how much I liked him and you got him. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM?' Clearly, this situation spiraled out of control. She was crying. I was crying. It was a mess. Then I saw Ashley - devoid of any emotion. I was taken back by her lack of when we were practically encompassed with chaos. I approached her and inquired her take on the situation. I'm not sure if her and Anthony are still involved, but the last thing I wanted was Ashley mad at me. She didn't want to get involved so she didn't say much. I had to get away. This was way too much for me to handle when I was so intoxicated. So, again, I walked off. I was walking down Cypress when a man stopped and asked me if I needed a ride. He must have been in his 30's or perhaps 40's. I declined and he tried to persuade me... by offering me weed. He was like 'Come on, we can smoke a bowl.' He was very persistent and this scared me. I am willing to bet, had I gotten in that truck with him, something bad would have happened. I dismissed him and started crying immediately after he was out of sight. I was really paranoid. I needed a ride, so I called Yukka. He had left the party not too long before. He picked me up shortly after. Monica and Turtle were with him. We went to his house and I don't remember much after that. I was hysteric, though. Turtle took me aside and tried to console me. I felt really sick afterwards. I was puking in the sink and my stomach hurt. Turtle was holding back my hair while I did. And... here is where I'm confused... I was laying on Yukka's bed in pain and Turtle was rubbing my tummy. O_O I'm guessing he just felt bad for me and was being a friend. It honestly helped me feel better and I ended up falling asleep. I woke up around 11 freaked out. I was supposed to be home at 3! Yukka drove me home and... oh boy, am I in trouble. My parents had called the cops and reported me as missing. They had also called a good amount of my friends wanting to know where I was. I had to tell them what happened... there was no excuse I could possibly make up for being gone an extra 8 hours. Plus, my sister's birthday was on Saturday and we were supposed to go somewhere Sunday morning - I ruined that. I had a hangover from the fucking burning depths of hell and I'm grounded for a month.
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